Signs of Low Notch Count in a Woman

MichaelWitcoff

Hummingbird
Orthodox
Far from foolproof. Just wasted my time with this very shy and timid 21 year old, wide-eyed and submissive, who admitted to me she had somewhere between 100 and 200 sexual partners after I screened her.
I’m not sure which is worse, having a count that’s a three digit number or not knowing what digit that number starts with.
 

Jive Turkey

Woodpecker
Other Christian
How many of the men demanding a “low notch count wife” have abstained from viewing pornography even one single time? How many view it regularly, and how many are addicted to it? Curious what that data would reveal.
For me, it is that women who have had a lot of sex have always done so from a place of brokenness. Usually, in my experience, women only "give their heart away" one time. Either you are the first guy she falls in love with, or she will never open up to you, trust you, fully love you and give her heart to you.

I have dated virgins and non-virgins, and the virgins have always been so much more candid. The non-virgins are walled off, and I don't blame them. But still, that doesn't mean dating them is any easier because I don't blame them. I am open to being wrong, and obviously don't exclusively date virgins, but that has been a tendency I have noticed. If I dated a woman who had been through the ringer and was still capable of being vulnerable I would be fine with it, but in modern dating the feeling that we are playing a game of probability is common.


Edit: anecdote

There was a girl who was a friend of a friend of a friend that I knew. She always seemed sweet and genuine to me, just based on her appearance, body language and demeanor. She was pretty young and I am assuming either a virgin or maybe had one or two partners. Then she got involved with a guy who was a couple years older and had just got out of a relationship and used her as a rebound. (I'm pretty sure they hooked up, but didn't confirm). The next time I saw her, her demeanor and appearance totally changed. She dyed her hair, upgraded her fashion to get the bad b*tch look.

Very sad case.
 

Max Roscoe

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
I didn't keep myself for my wife, so I cannot expect my wife to have done the same for me. If I expect my personal repentance as good enough for my future wife, then I'd have to accept hers also.

There is of course a point to be taken for men who have sinned in their heart or in the flesh shouldn't demand a double standard from their future partner. But at the same time this rubs me the wrong way. Just because I have failed doesn't mean I give others the license to do so.

Does a man who has used drugs have no right to want a partner who is drug free?
Does a recovering gambler have no right to seek a partner who is frugal and firm with finances?
Is a man who stole something condemned to only marrying other thieves and cannot expect more from his future partner?

We are all sinners and should not expect perfection, and indeed if we have violated sins of the flesh then perhaps we forfeit a claim to the same, but I start out expecting my partner to be the way marriage was always intended, and from that point can accept things on a case by case basis depending on the contrition and relationship with God of the person. In other words I don't issue a blanket pardon right off the bat for licentiousness--that just strikes me as wrong.
 

MartyMcFly

Kingfisher
Other Christian
How many of the men demanding a “low notch count wife” have abstained from viewing pornography even one single time? How many view it regularly, and how many are addicted to it? Curious what that data would reveal.
This is not a fair comparison. Watching porn is not good and is bad for one's mental health, but it is not the same as physically having sex. You can't have a baby due to watching porn. It is just like seeing a video of a hostage having his head cut off is bad, but it doesn't make you a murderer.

Also, there are differences between virgin, low notch count, and slut. If a woman just has sex with random guys in bathrooms at bars or wants to have rape simulations with random strangers (sadly some women do this), she is damaged goods and definitely not marriage material. Of course, she can change but it has to come from her wanting to cleanse herself and not a guy thinking he can change her.

A woman that only had sex with men she cared for and had dated awhile is not perfect but at least she thinks sex with random strangers is bad and she has some boundaries.

A woman that waits until marriage before sex has strong moral convictions. This is hard because few women are raised or encouraged to have such convictions.

All of the above applies to men, but there is a bit of a double standard. I think women will be damaged more if they have a lot of sex partners but it doesn't mean men are not damaged at all.
 

OrthoSerb

Sparrow
Orthodox
This is not a fair comparison. Watching porn is not good and is bad for one's mental health, but it is not the same as physically having sex. You can't have a baby due to watching porn. It is just like seeing a video of a hostage having his head cut off is bad, but it doesn't make you a murderer.
Porn and masturbation is bad enough for your spiritual health that you're closer to the person having sex outside of marriage than you are to chastity. That should be obvious. The fact you can't have a baby doesn't make it more moral. If anything it makes it more barren and aimless. Comparing it to a hostage situation sounds comical. Most people using porn are doing so because they can't obtain sex in that moment, not because they're so virtuous that they opt for porn as a lesser evil.
 

ph80

Pigeon
Orthodox
How many of the men demanding a “low notch count wife” have abstained from viewing pornography even one single time? How many view it regularly, and how many are addicted to it? Curious what that data would reveal.

As someone who was saturated in pornography for much of my 20s, let me tell you, I regret it so much. I didn't realize it at the time, but it just wastes your time and damages your soul.

Just like Roosh, I feel permanently damaged. I wish I could have a traditional "low notch count wife" but I feel that I'm too damaged for that. The only way to have that is in a more traditional society without pornography and "hooking up". I think as a society, we are too far gone to maintain these kinds of relationships between a man and a woman.
 

ph80

Pigeon
Orthodox
On a different note, I noticed that some men list "tattoos" as a sure sign of a high body count. Is this a pretty agreed-upon correlation? If a woman has multiple tattoos is that pretty reliable an indicator that she's slept around?
 

OrthoSerb

Sparrow
Orthodox
On a different note, I noticed that some men list "tattoos" as a sure sign of a high body count. Is this a pretty agreed-upon correlation? If a woman has multiple tattoos is that pretty reliable an indicator that she's slept around?
Getting a tattoo is simultaneously breaking a taboo, a form of rebellion and also an attempt to attract attention. Its unlikely that a person breaking that boundary is going to have tight boundaries in matters of sexual ethics. It's a little bit analagous to smoking. Its possible that such a person may not be competent enough to actually sleep around, but I struggle to imagine that they would avoid doing so if they could. The breaking of these various boundaries usually start at a similar age and all such boundaries are broken together. You don't see people breaking one and respecting another, for the most part. How many people do we know that have got a strange hair cut, started smoking, got tatoos but have the discipline and discernment to save themselves for marriage?
 

MartyMcFly

Kingfisher
Other Christian
On a different note, I noticed that some men list "tattoos" as a sure sign of a high body count. Is this a pretty agreed-upon correlation? If a woman has multiple tattoos is that pretty reliable an indicator that she's slept around?
Certain tattoos are clues she might have more experience than your average red light district 'physical therapist':

d57b123c4ef3a37ed6dc813d4ed34ff1.jpg
 

loremipsum

Kingfisher
I would say if they live in the West and are not exceptionally pious they probably will have had a few sexual partners by their mid twenties. It's par for the course these days I think.

Personally as someone who is healing from growing up in that culture, it would be unreasonable for me to expect to find myself someone purer than I was able to be growing up. Not only is it highly unlikely these days, it may also prove problematic because they will have no idea about the struggles of someone healing and repenting from that lifestyle. For me it would be most important to see that my partner is genuinely repentant, rather than having a 'low notch count'. I might be suspicious of someone who had an extremely high one, but I could live with a few if they showed repentance from a similar path, we'd have a mutual understanding and could aid one another. Someone with my history would basically be an alien to someone who grew up in the church and had zero sexual partners prior to meeting me...

I didn't keep myself for my wife, so I cannot expect my wife to have done the same for me. If I expect my personal repentance as good enough for my future wife, then I'd have to accept hers also.

I agree. I used to care about notch count ALOT. Even dumped my girlfriend back then after acquiring the forbidden knowledge of her notch count, despite being a fornicator myself.
Honestly now I'd rather have a reborn Christian than a virgin atheist (as long the notch count is not REALLY high and sex happened only in relationships).
Whos to say they could not have learned from their sins, honestly repented and live with Christ.
If I could do it with my sinful past, how could I judge someone else?
And I mean really reborn as in dedicating their lives to Christ.

Now of course a virgin Christian would be ideal. It's what used to be normal. It should be something to strive for.
However the odds are stacked against us. Let God decide what is best for you.

On a side note, what is also funny is that we used to joke about ASD (anti slut defense).
Nowadays it should be a white flag instead of a redflag, as so many many BRAG about their past instead of being ashamed of it.
 

AwakenedApe

Sparrow
Agnostic
Problem of a high notch count is that it makes it hard to pair bond. For men and even more for women. The excitement is harder to replicate, so many x-men to compete with who individually were better than the current boyfriend at something, alphawidows don’t feel the same tingles for their stable husband as they did for their abusive ex.

Tattoos are a symbol of high time preference. When you get into a long term relationship you want a partner with low time preference.
 

Trudarknez

Chicken
Non-Christian
I would not be too picky. If a girl treats you with respect (if you know you know) and she is into you that is a good start for potentially a relationship. It is hard to have a crystal ball and look into the future how she might be. Nobody can live like that.

In my experience most women are the same but they have different quirks. Even the severely damaged ones same behaviours as the more stable women. The more damaged/unstable she is the more grounded you need to be to deal with it. It is that simple.

Some women are batshit crazy. But this is a small %. Like women who murder people, stab people, etc. Who are actually physically dangerous. That is a problem yes and those should be always avoided if you do not want to die or get hurt.

Also a lot of times it is about you, the man's frame and being that causes problems. If you are grounded it is hard for any person to destroy you. So if you get destroyed by a woman then most likely you were not grounded enough to deal with her.

There is different levels. At a certain point it is not worth it if she eats away all your energy and time because of her outbursts. But then again you can simply not allow her to do that to you. A lot of problems stem from your own person and the way you react.

To get to the point. Signs of low notch count I think is hard now. I think it is rare for women to not have had multiple partners. I think most men know when they see a promiscious girl. They just accept not to see it because the girl might be interested in them.
 

OrthoMexicano

Sparrow
Orthodox Inquirer
She live at home with family and not live alone.

Father very strict and in control of house.

She go church weekly or more.

She part church community and have lot virgin friend or married friend.

She not go on vacation with girlfriend often (missionary work not count)
 
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