Single Fathers Out There

[NewDayNewFace]

^I'm right there with you. I want to get a vasectomy as well. You don't want to go through the stress and drama that I deal with.

This girl got a job as a teacher a couple months ago. Making roughly 40k a year. She has a degree in Finance. As far as me, I work as an independent contractor. Kind of like the oil rig gig but with Healthcare IT. If I got a full time job doing what I do in one area I would probably make 70-80k a year. Because I'm a contractor I can negotiate a lot more money.

Guys, I'm going to definitely be calling lawyers next week. Should I get a lawyer in Georgia or in Florida. Also any tips on what to look for when I hire a lawyer?

 

[Vaun]

Guys, I'm going to definitely be calling lawyers next week. Should I get a lawyer in Georgia or in Florida. Also any tips on what to look for when I hire a lawyer?

It would be great if you got serious about your kids and took this seriously by going through the proper channels and hiring a lawyer. Its funny when these guys who say they care about their kids are more likely to take their car in for an oil change, than call a lawyer to protect their rights as fathers. You probably are afraid of hurting your wifes feelings, thats why most guys refuse to protect their rights as fathers.

Good advice is only good when given to those who use it.

Cordell & Cordell are nationwide and one of the leading divorce attorney's with offices in FLA and GA.
http://cordellcordell.com/

This is the place to go and ask specific questions, but they are not going to be easy on you like we have been here.
http://forum.mensdivorce.com/

I would seriously ask yourself if you want your kids in your life. Its a valid question for yourself at this point. If you are not so ready and willing to put it all on the line to keep them, you have to seriously ask yourself why you are not reacting that way to this. Lots of people divorce and the fathers go away, never to be seen or heard from again. Not saying its ok, or what I personally did, but lots of people do it.

 

[Dr. Howard]

Everything I give her has Child Support on it just to cover my tracks.

This girl is moving back to my hometown next June just because she wants to get back with me so bad. We have been broken up for ten months but it's been ridiculous. She has visited me at my work locations 2x and spent weeks with me at my work locations. Whenever we have been together physically we get along but whenever she goes back to Florida she goes crazy and pushes me away. She wants me to live with her in Florida for 10 months until she moves back to my hometown.

It's to a point where I don't want to be with her at all. She can't get that through her head though and she still wants me to spend time with her on her terms. I rather not go out of my way to spend time with her. If she lived in my hometown it may have been a different story. She flew to Connecticut last month where I was working and we spent three weeks together. It was rocky at the beginning because she found out I flew out of the country on vacation without her. Idk why she was mad because I am single. She ended up calling the cops for absolutely no reason and went through all of my belongings. Towards the end of her trip we started to get along. Once she left however she goes crazy and makes it unmanageable to even talk to her let alone get along with her.

Me getting an apartment in Florida is out of the question. I don't want anything to do with that state. I plan on staying in my hometown for a very long time unless I just get a permanent job somewhere else that will make me a millionaire.

If she wants to get back with you badly, lull her into a false sense of security while you make your legal arrangements. When the hammer is ready to drop...ie divorce papers and temporary separation agreement are ready to go...have a game plan, and a recording device because she will go psycho.

Make no mistakes about what I am about to say. This woman has called the cops on you for no reason, bailed to another state and now is trying to manipulate you via your child. This woman is your enemy, she has none of your interests in mind.

Rope a dope her and cover your ass for the worst possible outcomes. Again ask ghost tiger what the 'worst possible outcomes' look like when the shit hits the fan.

 

[NewDayNewFace]

Everyone thanks for the advice. After reading everything I've come to a conclusion that I have to just be nice to her and try to get her to move back to Georgia. That's really the best opportunity I have to be in my sons life without moving to Florida. I just have to try my hardest to get along with her. I'm going to try for my sons sake. I just don't think he can live a good life there in Florida. Her family is a dysfunctional family. I just seen my son this weekend and actually have him for this week for 7 days. When I seen him he had scratches and bruises on his face. The mother told me that he got them from day care and the other day he fell at her dads pool. It's really sad whats going on to this 15 month old boy. So I'm going to try to find him another day care this week.

Since me and her have been broken up I've been writing her checks for 800$ with Child Support on them. Is that appropriate from you guys experience or should I just be more hands on and pay directly for his day care and clothes etc?

And to everyone. Don't worry. I will talk to Georgia lawyers tomorrow and then just line up everything I must do once she does move back to Georgia to protect me.

 

[TonySandos]

Paying bills directly does favor better than handing out money, but that's only from what I know in my state.

 

[Alpha_Romeo]

If he is showing up with injuries you deem suspicious you should take him to a doctor for evaluation. You may need the documentation / doctor's testimony later on.

 

[Kona]

Everyone thanks for the advice. After reading everything I've come to a conclusion that I have to just be nice to her and try to get her to move back to Georgia. That's really the best opportunity I have to be in my sons life without moving to Florida. I just have to try my hardest to get along with her. I'm going to try for my sons sake. I just don't think he can live a good life there in Florida. Her family is a dysfunctional family. I just seen my son this weekend and actually have him for this week for 7 days. When I seen him he had scratches and bruises on his face. The mother told me that he got them from day care and the other day he fell at her dads pool. It's really sad whats going on to this 15 month old boy. So I'm going to try to find him another day care this week.

Since me and her have been broken up I've been writing her checks for 800$ with Child Support on them. Is that appropriate from you guys experience or should I just be more hands on and pay directly for his day care and clothes etc?

And to everyone. Don't worry. I will talk to Georgia lawyers tomorrow and then just line up everything I must do once she does move back to Georgia to protect me.

With all due respect, how old are you?

If the baby is showing up scratched and bruised you need to call the daycare center immediately and verify that's where it happened. If not, while he is in your possession you need to unleash fury on this twat. Cops, lawyers, everything.

Also, if you are meeting with lawyers in your area, meet with every damn one of them. There's probably some type of conflict of interest rule. That means none of those lawyers can ever represent the bitch even if she tries.

That's what tony soprano did when he was having marital issues.

Aloha!

 

[booshala]

What is this Mickey Mouse bullshit? You send her monthly checks for $800, at first saying "it's a lot more than other people pay" but later you say it's not even mandated, you just write "for child support" on the checks. You also claim you make well into six figures, but you're complaining about not wanting to pay for a hotel... you still haven't contacted a lawyer, and now your 15 month old has bruises on his face but you're just accepting the mom's excuses? None of this adds up to "concerned father wanting to spend time with son".

You're either trolling or you'd be a piece of shit father/caretaker cuz you'd likely be as half assed about taking care of your kid as you are dealing with this situation. I think you are seriously disrespecting some of these guys who have shared their struggles on this forum moving mountains to have a fair shake at spending time with their kids.

 

[NewDayNewFace]

I'm calling the daycare today and going to have a talk with the director. I'm seriously leaning towards just having him go to another daycare. It's ridiculous what's going on and it's unacceptable. I am 26 years old.

Booshala I posted here so I can get advice on what to do. At the end of the day I want to do what is fair and that's WhYI'm asking all of these questions. Yes, I make 6 figures but just because I do doesn't mean I'm going to be spending my money on plane tickets and hotels if I don't have to. What I deemed fair and the agreement me and her came up with was to meet half way and to get my son. If me and her agreed to that then yea... I would complain if I have to fly or get a hotel. That's not what was agreed upon.

As mentioned before I'll be talking with lawyers today and lining my ducks in a row.

I'm not half assing the situation anymore. I may have before in the hopes that me and her would have resolved things but I realized I should have gotten a lawyer when we first broke up.

 

[Irenicus]

Getting to move her to GA is certainly a wise decision. But...try to keep some distance from her (i.e do not live with her in the same apartment, or in the same city if possible). I grew in similar conditions like your son, and trust me...living in a dysfunctional household ain't pretty. I had many of the mental scars during most of my childhood.


And if your son has bruises...I would contact the relevant authorities straight away! If you take advantage of that (if you make 100k, you have the means), contact the best lawyers in the area, and teach her a lesson.


Keep us updated!

 

[Onto]

Everyone thanks for the advice. After reading everything I've come to a conclusion that I have to just be nice to her and try to get her to move back to Georgia. That's really the best opportunity I have to be in my sons life without moving to Florida. I just have to try my hardest to get along with her. I'm going to try for my sons sake. I just don't think he can live a good life there in Florida. Her family is a dysfunctional family. I just seen my son this weekend and actually have him for this week for 7 days. When I seen him he had scratches and bruises on his face. The mother told me that he got them from day care and the other day he fell at her dads pool. It's really sad whats going on to this 15 month old boy. So I'm going to try to find him another day care this week.

Since me and her have been broken up I've been writing her checks for 800$ with Child Support on them. Is that appropriate from you guys experience or should I just be more hands on and pay directly for his day care and clothes etc?

And to everyone. Don't worry. I will talk to Georgia lawyers tomorrow and then just line up everything I must do once she does move back to Georgia to protect me.

You really need to ask these questions to a lawyer. Don't seek important legal advice here.

As far as the scratches on your son's face, that's part of being an active kid. I can't tell you how many times I returned my son to his Mom with a bruised forehead, cuts, scratches and all the rest.

She never got pissed because she knew it happens with her too. You can keep the kid in a crate all day and they will look perfect, but if you let him out and allow him the freedom to explore, experiment and really live then he's going to get banged up. It's good for him really. You'll see.

I think you're making the right move in being patient.