Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone

scotian

Crow
Gold Member
Can you enumerate the ways your daughter would be helped by the USA? I really don't get it. You want her to focus on her career? You want her to learn English without an accent? I'm really struggling to understand a single thing a child would gain by being raised in the USA other than access to USA relatives/grandparents and the benefit of holding a US passport for travel purposes, which I would be very wary of gifting to my daughter.

There's a very tiny argument to be made for raising a son in the US.... but a daughter? Sorry I just don't see it. Post some specifics so we can discuss them.
Not growing up in a low trust society with a history of extreme violence. Even in the wealthy areas of Bogota, people have to take precautions that they wouldn't have to in developed countries. It sounds like you're very bitter about life in the US, yes it can suck but you're focusing too much on the bad aspects, in my experience, guys who are as negative as you usually have some issues and are a bit "off", I've met a few over the years.
 

ginsu

Sparrow
Luckily Colombia and the USA are not the only countries in the world to choose from. Let's say hypothetically someone wanted to move from Colombia like Wedo but didn't want to go back to the USA either. What would be good places to go, if we know that he is happy in Colombian culture but also wants to provide the children with a better childhood. A middle ground between Colombia and the USA (safety/happiness/opportunities).

I'm curious if people can find more agreement in this scenario, or if there would still be as much difference in opinion.

I lived in Spain for a while. I was happy there and it opened my mind to Latin/warmer countries. but I don't want to build a future there as I can't stand countries that receive african/muslim migrants anymore. I'm looking to find that feeling again without the same type of migration.

Everyone has their personal no-go checklist based on their negative experiences. That's why we see opinions differ so much. We all have different pain points that we focus on and are willing to overlook other negative aspects as long as it doesn't trigger this PTSD. So one person can overlook things that for another would be unacceptable. It's not so much about which place is best on paper either but also where you feel calm and good. it's highly subjective. If it came down to it would lean towards the happiness factor more as i already have the better option on paper easily available to me but don't want to spend time there at all.

** another point, I don't understand the talk about quality education in the west. Unless you put them in private school or homeschooling which is possible everywhere. Then aren't you just delivering the children straight into the hands of the enemy that will pump their minds full of garbage from 0 to 18 nearly guaranteeing they will end up like the thread title. Yes there are good teachers and classes too but is it worth it.
 
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I agree with you completely but I think people will change a lot in the coming years. Maybe you could still find some love in your heart for the Africans/Muslims and avoid generalisation because of few rotten apples.

I'm starting to think I should've kept a smaller name haha.
 

ginsu

Sparrow
I agree with you completely but I think people will change a lot in the coming years. Maybe you could still find some love in your heart for the Africans/Muslims and avoid generalisation because of few rotten apples.

I'm starting to think I should've kept a smaller name haha.
I can't edit the post anymore but I should have clarified better you're right. But it's not hard to guess what I meant. The illegals invading by boat or other ways to come parasite off of the welfare system and who can never or don't want to contribute anything positive.

The migrants that I have met that were great all came legally to improve their lives through work and study, they also told me they can't stand the other category.
 
When a group has a certain effect on its host, why not generalize? Your response is in a league which assumes a priori that immigration is a good thing.
The whole idea that there are only a few rotten apples is completely out of touch anyway

It's also the argument every leftist uses whenever the undeniable long term effects of immigration are shown in both personal anecdotes and overwhelming statistical evidence
 

murmurmur

Sparrow
The whole idea that there are only a few rotten apples is completely out of touch anyway

It's also the argument every leftist uses whenever the undeniable long term effects of immigration are shown in both personal anecdotes and overwhelming statistical evidence
I agree. It frustrates me, throwing away cultural equity accumulated over generations in careless hubris. Be what may regarding the character of these groups (East Asian muslims tend to make good friends, in East Asia), this migration feels like an unnecessary burden imposed upon Europe.

Maybe I feel this way more acutely because I'm not European, and originate from a place without this equity. It's baffling...

[edit]
...but maybe not. To bring this back to the topic of the thread, I've never met as coddled and seemingly self-assured a woman as the Western European woman. They appear to operate in a pseudo self-actualized plane I will never see from any other group. I can't bring myself to empathize with her.
 
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scotian

Crow
Gold Member
Luckily Colombia and the USA are not the only countries in the world to choose from. Let's say hypothetically someone wanted to move from Colombia like Wedo but didn't want to go back to the USA either. What would be good places to go, if we know that he is happy in Colombian culture but also wants to provide the children with a better childhood. A middle ground between Colombia and the USA (safety/happiness/opportunities).

I'm curious if people can find more agreement in this scenario, or if there would still be as much difference in opinion.

I lived in Spain for a while. I was happy there and it opened my mind to Latin/warmer countries. but I don't want to build a future there as I can't stand countries that receive african/muslim migrants anymore. I'm looking to find that feeling again without the same type of migration.

Everyone has their personal no-go checklist based on their negative experiences. That's why we see opinions differ so much. We all have different pain points that we focus on and are willing to overlook other negative aspects as long as it doesn't trigger this PTSD. So one person can overlook things that for another would be unacceptable. It's not so much about which place is best on paper either but also where you feel calm and good. it's highly subjective. If it came down to it would lean towards the happiness factor more as i already have the better option on paper easily available to me but don't want to spend time there at all.

** another point, I don't understand the talk about quality education in the west. Unless you put them in private school or homeschooling which is possible everywhere. Then aren't you just delivering the children straight into the hands of the enemy that will pump their minds full of garbage from 0 to 18 nearly guaranteeing they will end up like the thread title. Yes there are good teachers and classes too but is it worth it.
I think Spain would be a nice option, maybe a smaller city or town that isn't too "diverse."

I have a good Colombian friend who I met at work in Canada, he emigrated from Colombia with his wife and two kids about fifteen years ago to the frozen dump known as Edmonton where he was a successful engineer and his wife a nurse. His two daughters are both teenagers and last year the family moved to a small city about two hours from Barcelona, they enjoy the mild weather and good food but I was pretty surprised to learn that they really miss Edmonton because of the friendly people, apparently the Spanish aren't always so welcoming of foreign families, especially Sudacas.

Again I think that you guys are being too extreme here, raising a kid in the west doesn't guarantee that they'll end up as single spinsters, there's plenty of well adjusted women in the west, don't you guys know any?
 
I think Spain would be a nice option, maybe a smaller city or town that isn't too "diverse."

I have a good Colombian friend who I met at work in Canada, he emigrated from Colombia with his wife and two kids about fifteen years ago to the frozen dump known as Edmonton where he was a successful engineer and his wife a nurse. His two daughters are both teenagers and last year the family moved to a small city about two hours from Barcelona, they enjoy the mild weather and good food but I was pretty surprised to learn that they really miss Edmonton because of the friendly people, apparently the Spanish aren't always so welcoming of foreign families, especially Sudacas.

Again I think that you guys are being too extreme here, raising a kid in the west doesn't guarantee that they'll end up as single spinsters, there's plenty of well adjusted women in the west, don't you guys know any?
It's always a trade off of course.

As for your friends: the quality of life in Spain is quite high, and their attitude on work and life lend for a less stressful life. The food is amazing, the nature overwhelming and the weather spring-like for most of the year

Housing prices inland are dirt cheap. 60-70k USD for an apartment in a provincial capital is possible. Barcelona, Madrid and coastal cities like Málaga are a different beast though

If your friends complain about an unwelcoming attitude they should take into account that the Latin American immigrants are not exactly known for their civil behaviour and law abiding nature. If they are Colombian then that's the label they will get.

The women in Spain, Cataluña specifically, where your friends are located if I am reading this correctly, have horrible personalities. The septum nose rings are ridiculous

The economy is in shambles. It was bad before the Covid19 shamdemic but it's going to be several degrees worse in the years to come

A significant amount of the Spanish population below 30 is already doing lowly paid gigs in Germany, the UK and the Netherlands, think steakhouse waiter, dish washer stuff.

Right now they are voluntarily ravaging their tourism sector because muh coronavirus. So what exactly will be left? Producing olive oil and merino wool?

The socialists in power, with pretty boy Sánchez, no doubt really think the North will bail them out again. Which probably will happen anyway but I won't rule it out that one day in the coming 10 years all these dead weight garlic countries will be cut loose

When that happens Spain will be on par with countries like Turkey and Algeria

Spain is an option if you are retiring or if you are making a living online and want to live the quiet goodlife
 
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ginsu

Sparrow
I think Spain would be a nice option, maybe a smaller city or town that isn't too "diverse."

I have a good Colombian friend who I met at work in Canada, he emigrated from Colombia with his wife and two kids about fifteen years ago to the frozen dump known as Edmonton where he was a successful engineer and his wife a nurse. His two daughters are both teenagers and last year the family moved to a small city about two hours from Barcelona, they enjoy the mild weather and good food but I was pretty surprised to learn that they really miss Edmonton because of the friendly people, apparently the Spanish aren't always so welcoming of foreign families, especially Sudacas.

Again I think that you guys are being too extreme here, raising a kid in the west doesn't guarantee that they'll end up as single spinsters, there's plenty of well adjusted women in the west, don't you guys know any?
If anyone can manage to beat the odds then its certainly men who read forums like this one. I don't believe its impossible. There must be plenty of places in the west in rural areas and communities that are suitable. But if we are talking in a general sense. Why do you think that we are exaggerating ?. What makes you estimate the chances of success to raise well-adjusted girls in the west higher than someone like me for example.


We still have to see the effects that the current societal influences are going to have on the young girls/boys that are growing up right now. With all that we know about modern society it's just going to get worse for them. And from there how will this trend continue into the generation that is born today and will grow up during the next 20 years.

The normal women I have met were around 30 or older and came from a different time. If you go down in age to the 20s and around 20 you will see much fewer women with normal ideas about life. The rapid changes in societal pressures for the worse upon each new generation cannot be underestimated. It matters less how many good women we know now, but more what the circumstances are today and how they will keep evolving into the future. Not what the circumstances were 30 or more years ago that led to the normal women that are here today.

It's fair to assume that this trend will just continue and with each generation the chances to see/raise women with a normal mind decreases. You can increase your chances by doing everything you can to minimize the bad influences of society but for most this is impossible. The government will keep pushing to control more of how your children are raised they even admit that the children are viewed as their property.

The same is true for other places as the cultural rot is quickly spread everywhere through the internet, but they are still behind the west by a good amount of years and I would gladly take that delay and the increased odds of success.
 
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scotian

Crow
Gold Member
Basically without going into great detail I think some of you really negative guys fit the profile of basement dwelling weirdos who spend way too much time on the internet and not enough time meeting normal people and socializing in normal society so you have a warped sense of how things really are.
 

ginsu

Sparrow
Not sure how much of this is aimed at me, but ill take it anyway because what you're saying has value. It's too easy to go from one conclusion to the next and end up going to extreme places. Just write it off as learning moments as I'm sure you had them too during your years of contributing to this forum. Anyway because of this I realize I've been spending too much time here since becoming a member, I'm not ready to contribute and need to work on myself first and my writing skills if I do return to post. For now I'll go back to lurking.
 

It_is_my_time

Hummingbird
Basically without going into great detail I think some of you really negative guys fit the profile of basement dwelling weirdos who spend way too much time on the internet and not enough time meeting normal people and socializing in normal society so you have a warped sense of how things really are.
I think it is largely generational and then after that it is what region you are in.

If you are a man under 30 and have lived on the coast your entire lives, I doubt you have met many well adjusted women, especially in your own age bracket. And the ones you do meet are taken at a very young age by the star athlete in high school/college.

Luckily for me I am over 40 and not on the coast, so I have had more experiences with meeting normal/well adjusted women. But because I have remained single the entire time I have watched the quality of women aged 18-28 degrade greatly during my life span.

First it was "why are women wearing more slacks than skirts" in the late 1990's.
Then it was jeans with an ass crack tattoo showing above it and you missed them at least looking presentable.
Then it was the removal of high heels in place of flip flops
Then they got bigger and bigger to the point that clothing designers had to redo much of their sizing targets when marketing products.
Then it was tattoos.
Then it was social media so they often don't even leave their house to get compliments.

I'm glad I stayed single longer as it allowed me to gain much more wisdom about the situation we face, how to deal with this situation, and how to best provide/protect my children if I have them.
 

Max Roscoe

Sparrow
Not growing up in a low trust society with a history of extreme violence. Even in the wealthy areas of Bogota, people have to take precautions that they wouldn't have to in developed countries.
Colombia being dangerous is not a reason to move to America. It's a reason to leave Colombia.

Anyway, America sits at the #137 spot for murder rates. If safety is the only reason one can come up with, there are 136 safer places to try first...but I think that's missing the point. I would be far more concerned about the social and societal problems, and even more importantly I would be more concerned about the *trend* of things in America. What will it be like in 20 years?

Sorry if my questions offended you. I'm a noob here. But I still think those are valid questions that must be answered before one makes such a serious move.
 

pitbullowner

Kingfisher
I would be far more concerned about the social and societal problems, and even more importantly I would be more concerned about the *trend* of things in America. What will it be like in 20 years?
I honestly anticipate America looking like Brasilia in about 40 years.
 
Basically without going into great detail I think some of you really negative guys fit the profile of basement dwelling weirdos who spend way too much time on the internet and not enough time meeting normal people and socializing in normal society so you have a warped sense of how things really are.
You seem to live in the past. Applying yesterday's standards on today's young guns isn't helping anyone

I will try to explain by telling an anecdote why so many 18-30 year olds seem frustrated, angry and not getting anywhere in life

And why, in my opinion, their anger and frustration is justified. Young males are NOT the problem. Society is.

My dad started working when he was 16. Didn't have any diplomas aside from a high school certificate. Bought a nice house when he was 27 Got married when he was 28. Had two kids by the age of 30. The waifu was a housewife until she turned 36/37. Every year he bought a new (second hand) car, waifu didn't have anything to say about that matter. We went on vacation once or twice a year. Education was free, and healthcare was basically free too. Saturday was football day and afterwards it was drinking beer with the boys until they dropped. People in that time officially retired at age 65, but many had arrangements that made them retire as early as 52/53.

My dad has none of the qualities men are deemed to have today. He was lowly skilled, didn't have higher education, was 5'10 tall, didn't have any social skills and walked around in his work clothes all day long because 'they were comfortable'

After he came home from work he would shove dinner in, jump onto the couch and lay there watching cheap TV shows for the remainder of the night - with his feet up high. The kids and his waifu had to share the other sofa. He wouldn't ask how we did at school, how his waifu felt, how everything was going etc. The only thing he would say was 'YOU ARE BLOCKING MY VIEW' whenever someone would walk past him

Fastfoward 20/25 years.

I got a friend who fits the physical description of my dad. Short, with an average face. He is a general practicioner living in one of the bigger cities in The Netherlands. He speaks 4 languages and is socially calibrated. He also likes to go to the gym at least 2/3 times a week

And he is an incel. He gets no play from the girls because he is short, and because everything else about him is just average

He doesn't own his own home. These days only university educated couples that pool their incomes or people that get a loan from a family member are able to buy property. That's how crazy it is. He's spending 1/3 of his doctor's income on an apartment in a quiet part of the city. 'At least I don't have to share the kitchen with strangers' he once told me. Bro, you are 30. Time to up the standards and start demanding change

Even if he'd live like a monk for the next 30 years this doctor wouldn't be able to buy the house my unskilled and uneducated dad bought 25 years ago - with 3 people being financially depended on him. A sidenote: that house is now 25 year older too.

Many others still live at home. Not because they are socially awkward mommyboys but because there is not other option. A small 700 euro apartment in a 50 000 inhabitants city whilst you are barely making 2k? No thanks

The incel thing is another insult that is hurled way too easily. I don't consider any young European men socially awkward, barring a few autists. They are more socially calibrated than their parents, have a broader range of interests, have more education under their belt, have more rhetorical skills etc.

They also spend more time in the gym. Are more fashion conscious, are taller than their parents, spend more money on dating and self improvement..

Yet my friend is an incel and my father laid on the couch farting and eating pizza from his chest for years. Walking around on the same leather slippers for 2 years +. With no fear that his wife would ever leave him. My doctor friend also has no real capital despite belonging to the top 20 percent of the population

Times have changed, things have gotten so much harder. It's too easy to be judgemental as an older person.
 

pitbullowner

Kingfisher
Times have changed, things have gotten so much harder. It's too easy to be judgemental as an older person.

And the demands of girls that are probably sixes and sevens are that of tens.

culture shift has happened exponentially quickly and we were laced with the cultural experience teachings of our fathers and mothers from prior with little to no preparation for the culture we have been thrust into of our our adulthood
 

!!!???!!!

Sparrow
La Aquila Negra, you are 100% bang on. I have never ever been able to explain this to people over a certain age, I am convinced this is because they simply do not want to hear it. I am competing with H1Bs who are willing to work for poverty wages for skilled work. I am competing with people in China for manufacturing, and they are ok with 1 or 2 dollars an hour. I am competing with illegals for labour jobs, and they don't ask for insurance or healthcare or even minimum wage. Globalization has been a death sentence for many in the West, but older generations use it as an opportunity to toot their own horn. It is impossible to explain this to people unless they experience it themselves. Many will now that they are unemployed due to corona.
 

WEDO

Woodpecker
I have been working and paying into a private retirement fund for years...being abroad and out of the USA a long time I do not pay into the Social Security system anymore.....can you elaborate more on the Social Security benefits for your wife and kid? I was under the belief those payments would payout once you were deceased and IF your wife and child had USA citizenship as well? Again I am unclear on all this so any light you can shed on this would be valuable info as I am halfway to earning basic SS benefits (from years ago working in USA).....but that would involve me working abroad for a company that pays into SS benefits or returning to the USA to reach the min benefits.....(I imagine the goal-posts will keep being moved on SS)

Again nice to hear views from an older expat and a veteran of Colombia.....someone who has walked the walk and lived longterm in Colombian Society.... It's rare to see a lot of foreigners make a life and family work here longterm.
Well as it turns out there are some little known benefits to collecting Social Security when you have a minor child and a wife that cares for the child.

I will collect Social Security when I turn 62....my reduced benefits will be about 1850 bucks a month but my full retirement benefits at the age of 67 would have been about 2700 a month. The deal is when I start collecting my reduced benefits at 62 my minor daughter will receive half of my unreduced Social Security benefits or about 1350 a month and my wife will be eligible to receive another 1350 dollars in child in care benefits and a wife can be any age and receive these benefits. The wife doesn't have to be a US citizen just a permanent resident with a green card and social security number will do.

 

scotian

Crow
Gold Member
You seem to live in the past. Applying yesterday's standards on today's young guns isn't helping anyone

I will try to explain by telling an anecdote why so many 18-30 year olds seem frustrated, angry and not getting anywhere in life

And why, in my opinion, their anger and frustration is justified. Young males are NOT the problem. Society is.

My dad started working when he was 16. Didn't have any diplomas aside from a high school certificate. Bought a nice house when he was 27 Got married when he was 28. Had two kids by the age of 30. The waifu was a housewife until she turned 36/37. Every year he bought a new (second hand) car, waifu didn't have anything to say about that matter. We went on vacation once or twice a year. Education was free, and healthcare was basically free too. Saturday was football day and afterwards it was drinking beer with the boys until they dropped. People in that time officially retired at age 65, but many had arrangements that made them retire as early as 52/53.

My dad has none of the qualities men are deemed to have today. He was lowly skilled, didn't have higher education, was 5'10 tall, didn't have any social skills and walked around in his work clothes all day long because 'they were comfortable'

After he came home from work he would shove dinner in, jump onto the couch and lay there watching cheap TV shows for the remainder of the night - with his feet up high. The kids and his waifu had to share the other sofa. He wouldn't ask how we did at school, how his waifu felt, how everything was going etc. The only thing he would say was 'YOU ARE BLOCKING MY VIEW' whenever someone would walk past him

Fastfoward 20/25 years.

I got a friend who fits the physical description of my dad. Short, with an average face. He is a general practicioner living in one of the bigger cities in The Netherlands. He speaks 4 languages and is socially calibrated. He also likes to go to the gym at least 2/3 times a week

And he is an incel. He gets no play from the girls because he is short, and because everything else about him is just average

He doesn't own his own home. These days only university educated couples that pool their incomes or people that get a loan from a family member are able to buy property. That's how crazy it is. He's spending 1/3 of his doctor's income on an apartment in a quiet part of the city. 'At least I don't have to share the kitchen with strangers' he once told me. Bro, you are 30. Time to up the standards and start demanding change

Even if he'd live like a monk for the next 30 years this doctor wouldn't be able to buy the house my unskilled and uneducated dad bought 25 years ago - with 3 people being financially depended on him. A sidenote: that house is now 25 year older too.

Many others still live at home. Not because they are socially awkward mommyboys but because there is not other option. A small 700 euro apartment in a 50 000 inhabitants city whilst you are barely making 2k? No thanks

The incel thing is another insult that is hurled way too easily. I don't consider any young European men socially awkward, barring a few autists. They are more socially calibrated than their parents, have a broader range of interests, have more education under their belt, have more rhetorical skills etc.

They also spend more time in the gym. Are more fashion conscious, are taller than their parents, spend more money on dating and self improvement..

Yet my friend is an incel and my father laid on the couch farting and eating pizza from his chest for years. Walking around on the same leather slippers for 2 years +. With no fear that his wife would ever leave him. My doctor friend also has no real capital despite belonging to the top 20 percent of the population

Times have changed, things have gotten so much harder. It's too easy to be judgemental as an older person.
Ya I guess you're right, us older guys can't relate to a bunch of Debbie Downers who want to live in an echo chamber of depressing cry babies who reinforce each other's warped opinions of the state of modern women. I've met too many young guys in the 18-30 demographic who are successful in life to share your negative outlook, I've helped many of them get high paying jobs in the oil industry over the past eight years, a few of them even married, bought houses and had kids but I guess they're just going to get divorced raped anyway so what's the point eh?
 
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