"Sorry" vs. "Excuse me"

[Hades]

I had a roommate once, big time momma's boy, who apologized for fucking everything. Even today I can think back and the biggest thing I remember about him is a nonstop loop of meaningless apologies. They meant nothing. He was more scared about me talking shit to his face or thinking badly of him than he was about anything else. From then on I decided to never apologize for anything ever again, since his constant use soured the very meaning of the word 'sorry' in my mind. He came off as such a weak and fragile little shit that I never bothered doing what his daddy should have done years earlier and whooped his ass for playing on my sympathies and lying.

Just last week I was at lecture and the teacher, he's this grumpy old dude with a lot of tenure no doubt, was asked a question by a student -

Student : Excuse me, sorry professor X, what does that mean?
Professor X : Sorry for what? What the hell do you have to be sorry about?
Student: Sorry ... I just-
Professor X : There you go again. Don't be sorry.
Student : ... (struck completely dumb)
Professor X : OK, you were asking what does what mean? Come up here and point at it.

I guess I'm glad for the student that there were no women in the class so he didn't look like a complete tool.
The lecture went on from there.

If any of you guys have the misfortune of dealing with an apologizer or whatever, life sucks and grant them no respect or mercy. Sorry is what the guys at the Nuremberg trials should have said, not something that's uttered on the daily.

This is why I use "excuse me" as a polite term.

 

[dispenser]

Some words are just space fillers, said automatically, but given meaning by the context.
As far as literal meaning goes, sorry and excuse me are interchangeable: one admits blame, the other asks for forgiveness for blame.

I think the issue here is that you associate sorry with head-ducking, submissive body language,
while excuse me comes along with more self-respecting body language, and when you use these words, the body language comes along for the ride.
That said, there's no reason to see it as a problem. Consider it self-hypnosis. Use the words that create confidence. Avoid the ones that create submissiveness.

On a related note, when I've rubbed someone the wrong way, and I want to keep our statuses balanced, I say, "I think we've misunderstood each other."

 

[kosko]

[Draft post removed by moderator.]

 

[swoosh]

I say sorry, but the person unconsciously knows I am not being sincere and it somehow works.

 

[zaqan]

If any of you guys have the misfortune of dealing with an apologizer or whatever, life sucks and grant them no respect or mercy. Sorry is what the guys at the Nuremberg trials should have said, not something that's uttered on the daily.

This is why I use "excuse me" as a polite term.

I know a girl who is like this. Nicest, sweetest thing ever. It does get annoying however, when she apologizes for stuff that isnt even remotely related to her. I guess its a selling point for women.

 

[cascadecombo]

I've also stopped using the word sorry.

Only in cases where I actually do mean it, otherwise it just: excuse me, my bad, my mistake, oops, huh? or just ignore it and change the subject.

It all depends on what actually happened. But chances are, I'm never sorry anyway, so why use that word?

 

[Que enspastic]

It's cute how Americans worry about whether "sorry" has anything to do with an admission of fault.

In London "sorry" means "I'm not sorry" or "get out of the way". There is zero contrition. It is quicker and more efficient than saying "excuse me". No one has time to rattle off more than one word to some prick.

 

[Ice]

It's cute how Americans worry about whether "sorry" has anything to do with an admission of fault.

In London "sorry" means "I'm not sorry" or "get out of the way". There is zero contrition. It is quicker and more efficient than saying "excuse me". No one has time to rattle off more than one word to some prick.

Yeah man, that's pretty ridiculous. I say "sorry" quite often, and what I mean by that is "dude whatever". If someone thinks that I'm in some way "weak" for saying that word, just let them think that. I'm really beyond that stage were I care what other people think of the words I'm using.

 

[GlobalMan]

It's cute how Americans worry about whether "sorry" has anything to do with an admission of fault.

In London "sorry" means "I'm not sorry" or "get out of the way". There is zero contrition. It is quicker and more efficient than saying "excuse me". No one has time to rattle off more than one word to some prick.

Needs more condescension