In summary: NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION and observe how alpha males behave with other men!(Non-verbal communication accounts for 97% of communication and we women need to remember that men generally don't have a 6th sense like we do. As such, we need to treat them accordingly a.k.a assertive and clear, and not like we would treat a woman we might be having issues with)
Caveat: Below I'm not saying act like a bitch at all. My trick is always to try and imagine the classiest/best version of myself and try to emulate how she would react. It's more about having that air of confidence and self-respect, and ensuring that my behaviour demonstrates that I expect that same respect from them too. Don't try to accomodate their flirting or whatever behaviour makes you uncomfortable. Generally, you're no-one special to them. They just take what you will let them get and putting an end to that behaviour will not make any difference to them. They'll just move onto the next woman who lets them behave that way, so don't stress over it. Men are not like women!!
So - here's how I do it:
I'm a female in my 20's that works in a multi-national company that is mostly males (atm I project manage a team of 18 and there is only 1 other female). Whilst overall I am treated with the utmost respect, I do have to deal with the outliers every so often (3 in the past 6 months - and please note I do my best to not give off the wrong impression and so I genuinely do not believe I am at fault when the situation arises).
As such, my opinion on this has changed over time and this is in part due to my growing understanding of men.
I used to try and deal with those behaviours in a way that accomodated the situation so as not to make it awkward. However, if you've tried that and the guy is still clearly not getting the message my tactic now is to just go completely ice-cold. Not overtly rude, but I literally do not engage them in anything they say that goes beyond the scope of work and or context - and that includes allowing for awkward silences and making it obvious you are avoiding them. Even cutting the conversation short, changing your voice tone and the biggest one - not smiling or laughing when you're uncomfortable with what they've said. Sit in the awkwardness of what they said but don't make it 'too' obvious you're doing it. Just as if their chat is kind of boring and so you're not engaged.
Obviously - I am NOT saying to be mean and or rude but stand your ground. Just don't engage them.
This shock tactic has proved enough for them to stop behaving in that manner with me and even making the effort to be more courteous. In the end, I have a good working relationship with all 3 (and more from all previous years).
I believe that in most cases, so long as you keep being friendly/courteous, the guy will not get the message. They are not like women who have that 6th sense, and we need learn to act accordingly!! Non-verbal communication accounts for 97% of communication so once their behaviour stops eliciting a pleasurable response from you they might start thinking with their heads again and start accomodating THEIR behaviour to the situation. As a result, over time you end up having a normal working relationship and that boundary has been drawn without you actually having had to talk about it.
Takes less time than you might imagine too. Also, if they do end up having a negative reaction, unless they are in some position of power, what can they really do?
Anyone else agree or have anything further to add?
As long as you are being honest with yourself and honest / consistent with your interactions and responses with the Men (and not hiding attraction to a Man if you genuinely have it), then this shouldn't be a problem or bring about any unintended results, for the most part.
Non-Verbal Communication is key, but it only works best when both people involved (even if in a workplace scenario like you mentioned) are on the same level of mindset and maturity, even if not attracted to or interested in the person.
I don't know how to explain it, but girls tend to have this "magic" in their ability to convey things non-verbally in the right manner but only when she is being fully honest with everyone including herself and when she indifferent to her own self (i.e. no ego but no low self-esteem either). Also with things like you said, with the tone of voice.
It's an uncomfortable situation when a Man (who may or may not be attracted to the girl, in any situation) has to be around a girl who makes him feel "unease" in her presence, but even if the guy is attracted and the girl is not, there are plenty of ways the girl can consistently and in non-verbal fashions if she is not interested in him.
I've been in some rare but unique scenarios which once in a while play out in mutual favor. One night bar I used to go to often, there was a girl who was a bartender that worked there, decent looking but kind of average, although I had no particular interest to her romantically and neither did she, but the nice thing about it is that as I was treated as a regular there and we would talk about all kinds of things there, but at the same time we both didn't have any inclination towards each other of any interest or any agenda. So what was good about it is that the conversations flowed nicely and were more as a "matter of fact" without there being any sense of flirting or trying to make a move on either side. Even though I had no interest in her, it would still have been uncomfortable for me if by me talking with her in every moment there that she assumed I only did it because I was trying to flirt with her, when I would have had the same level of conversation if the bartender there was a guy. I haven't had any situations like this in many years, with how much things have changed now. It was also more during a time when people still had a sense of standards.
To put things in contrast to today, some place I regularly go to get sandwiches at and the same girl who works there, one day I gave her an honest answer when she asked me how my day was and I started a conversation about the scamdemic and vaccines and the ridiculousness of the agenda. At one point she actually thought I was there to flirt with her and seemed puzzled when she realized I was actually there to order a sandwich.
