Taking Your Girlfriend Out For Her Birthday, and she does this...

I'd like to get some feedback to know what you gentlemen would do if you were encountered with the following situation.

Let's say you are in a relationship with a girl, and her Birthday comes along. You bought her a gift and also have made a whole day's plan of Romantic Ideas of where you are spending it, maybe a surprise place to bring her and maybe some events or something which happen at a specific time later in the day.

The whole day begins with unease and suspicion as she is not comfortable with "mysteries" and "spontaneous things", even though she knows it's her Birthday. She says she wants to go shopping, and then you end up going into a Target (or related retail store) and she decides to turn the day around to be about her to change you into the guy "she wants" and also to make you look sloppy. So of all days, she insists to start buying you clothing that she wants to see you in, and even pays for it (on her birthday) and not only can she not buy you decent-looking clothing but buys the most tacky-looking clothing you can find, off colors and odd materials that wrinkle and just have poor character. She goes along even with your reluctance and buys them anyway for you, and you also know you would never be willing to wear the tasteless clothing she is buying you on her birthday to "change" how you look and make you look inferior.

What would your response and thoughts to this situation be, and how would you handle it? Discuss...
 
In all my years, I've never had a woman that enjoyed a "whole day plan" of the man's design. It's boring and too masculine. Women don't make schedules of their day and rigorously try to follow them.

> So of all days, she insists to start buying you clothing that she wants to see you in, and even pays for it (on her birthday) and not only can she not buy you decent-looking clothing but buys the most tacky-looking clothing you can find, off colors and odd materials that wrinkle and just have poor character.

Did she pull a gun on your and force you to go shopping? Hold a knife to your throat and make you watch her buy ugly clothes? If not, why are you acting that way?

I'd handle it by acting like a man, not a pushover. It ain't that complicated.
 

kel

Ostrich
If she wants to turn it into a shopping for your clothes event, that's fine, just direct it properly. "Oh, for your birthday you want to have a nicer view? Okay, but we can't be in f.king Target then, let's go to...." blah blah blah.
 
I would have maybe gone along with it for a good ten minutes before telling her that I don’t dress like this, and if she buys me the clothes, I’m going to give them to a Goodwill three towns over.

Why didn’t you, man? I think it’s better to risk no relationship then to be with someone who treats you like this.
The way I responded was pretty similar to that, I ended up making a huge scene at the end. I made her purchase the items to only humiliate her after and to make her know I wasn't going to wear them, only for her to go and return them. But it was definitely one of the defining moments of our relationship being over, haha.
 
G
I would have laughed, mocked her for how she thinks men dress and shop, and after telling her I'd never shop at Target not even for socks, I'd flip the script and make her try on outfits for me to choose from because chances are, she needs some upgrading.

I've done almost this exact thing.
Great plot twist!!!
 
I'm not going to wear that, but I have an idea: how about you just give me the cash instead and I'll use it defer your birthday dinner?

Or alternately...after a few minutes- this is boring, I'm going to the gym/bar/etc- see ya! (she will then call you when you are in the parking lot, you would have passed a gigantic s- test, and the rest of the night is guaranteed to be a success)
 

andy dufresne

Kingfisher
I'd like to get some feedback to know what you gentlemen would do if you were encountered with the following situation.

Let's say you are in a relationship with a girl, and her Birthday comes along. You bought her a gift and also have made a whole day's plan of Romantic Ideas of where you are spending it, maybe a surprise place to bring her and maybe some events or something which happen at a specific time later in the day.

The whole day begins with unease and suspicion as she is not comfortable with "mysteries" and "spontaneous things", even though she knows it's her Birthday. She says she wants to go shopping, and then you end up going into a Target (or related retail store) and she decides to turn the day around to be about her to change you into the guy "she wants" and also to make you look sloppy. So of all days, she insists to start buying you clothing that she wants to see you in, and even pays for it (on her birthday) and not only can she not buy you decent-looking clothing but buys the most tacky-looking clothing you can find, off colors and odd materials that wrinkle and just have poor character. She goes along even with your reluctance and buys them anyway for you, and you also know you would never be willing to wear the tasteless clothing she is buying you on her birthday to "change" how you look and make you look inferior.

What would your response and thoughts to this situation be, and how would you handle it? Discuss...
It's her Birthday. Tell her you'll cuck for a day and after that the clothes go in the dumpster.
 
Let's say you are in a relationship with a girl, and her Birthday comes along. You bought her a gift and also have made a whole day's plan of Romantic Ideas of where you are spending it, maybe a surprise place to bring her and maybe some events or something which happen at a specific time later in the day.
Whole day? Seems better to just do one or two things, with the ability to be flexible. Schedule rigidity makes it seems like you can't have fun with her unless you follow your exact plan. Better to just have one or two things, and then see where the day goes.
The whole day begins with unease and suspicion as she is not comfortable with "mysteries" and "spontaneous things", even though she knows it's her Birthday.
Unease and suspicion sure are very odd words to describe a birthday together. Why would either of you be suspicious or not at ease? Don't you guys trust each other?
She says she wants to go shopping, and then you end up going into a Target (or related retail store) and she decides to turn the day around to be about her to change you into the guy "she wants" and also to make you look sloppy.
Why does she feel the need to change you? What do you dress like normally?
So of all days, she insists to start buying you clothing that she wants to see you in, and even pays for it (on her birthday) and not only can she not buy you decent-looking clothing but buys the most tacky-looking clothing you can find, off colors and odd materials that wrinkle and just have poor character.
She goes along even with your reluctance and buys them anyway for you, and you also know you would never be willing to wear the tasteless clothing she is buying you on her birthday to "change" how you look and make you look inferior.
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Why didn't you just tell her how you felt?
Seems there's more going on here than just an odd birthday celebration.
 

get2choppaaa

Pelican
I wouldn't ever let a woman dictate what you are wearing if it makes you feel degraded.

You did the right thing in dumping her... but I wouldn't go through the scene of a public spectacle. I would just say no and walk away. Trolling her in a way to humiliate her shows that you dont have any respect for her, and her desire to force you to do things that you dont agree with demonstrates she has no respect for your.

But surely you already knew she was an airhead and are just dating her for sexual activities?
 
The way I responded was pretty similar to that, I ended up making a huge scene at the end. I made her purchase the items to only humiliate her after and to make her know I wasn't going to wear them, only for her to go and return them. But it was definitely one of the defining moments of our relationship being over, haha.
Seems like more was written while I was writing my initial response. Definitely clears things up.

This is in no way healthy behavior and you are just as much in the blame as her given how you handled this. Why didn't you just tell her "Hey I feel like an idiot wearing these clothes, and I really don't want you to buy these. The way you are treating me right now makes me feel like you have no respect for me and how I feel about this. Can we talk please?" And if she refuses or reacts in a way that's disrespectful, then simply say something like "I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with you if there isn't going to be mutual trust and respect. I wish you the best, but goodbye."

It does not sound like you are in the correct mindset for a relationship. If you are not capable of treating your partner with respect even when they may be doing something you don't like, then don't expect anyone to treat you with respect.
 
Seems like more was written while I was writing my initial response. Definitely clears things up.

This is in no way healthy behavior and you are just as much in the blame as her given how you handled this. Why didn't you just tell her "Hey I feel like an idiot wearing these clothes, and I really don't want you to buy these. The way you are treating me right now makes me feel like you have no respect for me and how I feel about this. Can we talk please?" And if she refuses or reacts in a way that's disrespectful, then simply say something like "I have no interest in pursuing a relationship with you if there isn't going to be mutual trust and respect. I wish you the best, but goodbye."

It does not sound like you are in the correct mindset for a relationship. If you are not capable of treating your partner with respect even when they may be doing something you don't like, then don't expect anyone to treat you with respect.
Interesting that I get the blame. I made a public scene on her and made public mockeries so bad that she hopped on a public bus to escape my presence while I was yelling at her.
 

FactusIRX

Kingfisher
The way I responded was pretty similar to that, I ended up making a huge scene at the end. I made her purchase the items to only humiliate her after and to make her know I wasn't going to wear them, only for her to go and return them. But it was definitely one of the defining moments of our relationship being over, haha.
so you broke up already?
 

FactusIRX

Kingfisher
My wife buys most of my clothing, but that's because I hate clothes shopping, and she loves it and knows what looks good on me. I always have veto, though.

In your situation, I would have told her why I didn't like the clothes she picked. Then, I would try and see if we could find something we both liked. She might enjoy buying clothes for someone she loves, so that may be why she wanted to go shopping for you on her birthday.
 
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