Taking Your Girlfriend Out For Her Birthday, and she does this...

RKS

Sparrow
The second you felt like she did not want to go along with your 'surprise' day, you should have aborted the mission. If this truly was 'her' day, and she was not down with the program, then you forcing it on her was totally the wrong move (obvious now). She felt pushed and then wanted to see how you would feel being pushed. She is too dominant for you. Some women dont want romance. Some want to be mistreated and view doing something special for them as a weakness. You wont work out.

Dont turn it into a 2 year breakup. Cut your losses now without any grudge (and not as a ploy to get her back, because this will obviously attract her). She is not marriage material, unless you dont mind getting divorced later.
 
Interesting that I get the blame. I made a public scene on her and made public mockeries so bad that she hopped on a public bus to escape my presence while I was yelling at her.

Compare our responses. You "humiliated her" and made "public mockeries" until she no longer wanted to be in your presence.

I'm not saying that was bad if that was your goal. However, consider how it comes off.

Then consider my response. "Mocking" in my response was light teasing and direct statements about what I like and how I do things. Since the girl wasn't trying to attack me, none of mine was public really. I reserve that sort of thing for people who deserve it. I also didn't mention but I probably should: I have on occasion chosen large parts of a woman's wardrobe so that she dresses more like I prefer. I don't know what that says about me but that's how I am. Nevertheless it's a power play the invites her to participate in my world.

How are you choosing the girls you date?
 
The second you felt like she did not want to go along with your 'surprise' day, you should have aborted the mission. If this truly was 'her' day, and she was not down with the program, then you forcing it on her was totally the wrong move (obvious now). She felt pushed and then wanted to see how you would feel being pushed. She is too dominant for you. Some women dont want romance. Some want to be mistreated and view doing something special for them as a weakness. You wont work out.

Dont turn it into a 2 year breakup. Cut your losses now without any grudge (and not as a ploy to get her back, because this will obviously attract her). She is not marriage material, unless you dont mind getting divorced later.
Haha, well she did tell me after the relationship how much she didn't like me dominating her. But in a sick and twisted way she liked it, just in denial. She had some major head issues.
 
Interesting that I get the blame. I made a public scene on her and made public mockeries so bad that she hopped on a public bus to escape my presence while I was yelling at her.
I understand why you did it, but cold blue steel works a lot better with women than red hot anger.

The other thing that works with most women is humor. "Do I get a free bowl of soup with that shirt? I don't think I'll be wearing it in this lifetime. I'm headed to the bar to find a new girlfriend with better taste". If you deliver a line like that in the right frame, it will come across as a joke, but with just enough of a possibility that you are serious as to make her wonder. Passion uncertainty, that's what you are going for.
 

get2choppaaa

Pelican
Interesting that I get the blame. I made a public scene on her and made public mockeries so bad that she hopped on a public bus to escape my presence while I was yelling at her.
Yeah... I don't know why you are surprised by this....

As a man you are responsible for everything that happens when it comes to the way you treat other people, especially mates.

How old are you? Not trying to cast stones here but everything I am hearing is that you want affirmation that you did the right thing by embarrassing her. You didn't do anything but make yourself look like an asshole from what I can tell.

She doesn't sound like a quality mate, but then again, you sound like you're pretty immature.

Always keep it calm, cool, collected and nice. Nice prevents Crazy. Crazy gets false claims about you.

I married crazy once. It isn't a good idea, and will eat your lunch for 18 years or more if you have kids with crazy.

Frankly you sound like an immature child. If you are with someone who is making you act like what you are describing and yelling at her in public you clearly don't have respect or love for them.

I've been with a couple girls that worked me up like that. Not worth my time. If a woman your with provokes anger from you, you need to fix yourself and maintain control over your emotions and drop that grenade.
 
Yeah... I don't know why you are surprised by this....

As a man you are responsible for everything that happens when it comes to the way you treat other people, especially mates.

How old are you? Not trying to cast stones here but everything I am hearing is that you want affirmation that you did the right thing by embarrassing her. You didn't do anything but make yourself look like an asshole from what I can tell.

She doesn't sound like a quality mate, but then again, you sound like you're pretty immature.

Always keep it calm, cool, collected and nice. Nice prevents Crazy. Crazy gets false claims about you.

I married crazy once. It isn't a good idea, and will eat your lunch for 18 years or more if you have kids with crazy.

Frankly you sound like an immature child. If you are with someone who is making you act like what you are describing and yelling at her in public you clearly don't have respect or love for them.

I've been with a couple girls that worked me up like that. Not worth my time. If a woman your with provokes anger from you, you need to fix yourself and maintain control over your emotions and drop that grenade.
Not really, I just ask this for a perspective to see about other's responses to it. I don't need any affirmation on it. But it's interesting to see either how similar or dissimilar others responses would be.

Funny enough, she ended up claiming I acted like a child too from what I did, but I really don't care. It was warranted. I'm 38. Anger is second nature to me. It's a part of who I am, I don't deny it or hold it back. Problem is, most people especially Men aren't angry enough!
 
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so you broke up already?
Yeah we broke up a long time ago. Oddly enough we then both began fighting over taking each other back, because she wanted me back right away after breaking up after that. But in any case, it would have been another thing if she was willing to get me the type of clothing I like to wear and on a different occasion or for my Birthday, etc...
 
Not really, I just ask this for a perspective to see about other's responses to it. I don't need any affirmation on it. But it's interesting to see either how similar or dissimilar others responses would be.

Funny enough, she ended up claiming I acted like a child too from what I did, but I really don't care. It was warranted. I'm 38. Anger is second nature to me. It's a part of who I am, I don't deny it or hold it back. Problem is, most people especially Men aren't angry enough!
You're 38 and you thought it was acceptable to publicly humiliate a friend to the point where they had to flee from you? And you still think that? Surely explains a lot of the other stuff you've posted.

You say you don't deny anger or hold it back. Frankly, I think it's because you can't.

Anger is not second nature or who you are. Instead, you are a slave to your anger. If you cannot control your anger you cannot consider yourself a man. A man must have dominion over his feelings and desires or else those things will ultimately destroy him.

You're 38. You think this pagan approach is working for you after all this time you've spent on earth? Do you look at all wonderful, healthy young families and think "They got it wrong. I am the enlightened one, who knows better than everyone else." And then do you proceed to look at what your life has wrought and say "I hate these times. I was dealt an awful hand, and born in the wrong generation. If it weren't for globalism, white hatred and all of the blights of these times, I would have everything I wanted."

Face the music. You are the problem.
 
You're 38 and you thought it was acceptable to publicly humiliate a friend to the point where they had to flee from you? And you still think that? Surely explains a lot of the other stuff you've posted.

You say you don't deny anger or hold it back. Frankly, I think it's because you can't.

Anger is not second nature or who you are. Instead, you are a slave to your anger. If you cannot control your anger you cannot consider yourself a man. A man must have dominion over his feelings and desires or else those things will ultimately destroy him.

You're 38. You think this pagan approach is working for you after all this time you've spent on earth? Do you look at all wonderful, healthy young families and think "They got it wrong. I am the enlightened one, who knows better than everyone else." And then do you proceed to look at what your life has wrought and say "I hate these times. I was dealt an awful hand, and born in the wrong generation. If it weren't for globalism, white hatred and all of the blights of these times, I would have everything I wanted."

Face the music. You are the problem.
Not everything in life has a strictly Pragmatic element to it... Especially not romantic relationships...
 

get2choppaaa

Pelican
Not really, I just ask this for a perspective to see about other's responses to it. I don't need any affirmation on it. But it's interesting to see either how similar or dissimilar others responses would be.

Funny enough, she ended up claiming I acted like a child too from what I did, but I really don't care. It was warranted. I'm 38. Anger is second nature to me. It's a part of who I am, I don't deny it or hold it back. Problem is, most people especially Men aren't angry enough!
I understand anger. I too have had issues with it.

At 38 I would assume you had figured out that giving in to your passions only hampers your rational mind.

Anger is a passion, not a virtue. It needs to be sublimated for righteous purposes, so that it can be used for good. Righteous indignation against an evil act, for instance, is when a little bit of anger may be used for good. Blowing up on a girl you have no respect for and clearly think is a vapid airhead is just a sign that you don't respect yourself well enough to chose better women.

You clearly have no respect for this person, and frankly I don't think you're interested in any self-improvement. Or genuine observation. You want us all to say "Yeah she sounds like a dumb ass." but really nobody cares and the behavior only reflects badly on you.

Carry on I suppose...while you may say you don't need affirmation, the nature of the post is one who is saying "look at me, look what I did" and is pretty childish.

I've been there. Experience keeps an expensive school, but a fool will learn no other way. I dont say this to be a dick... you'll probably say "what does this person know, I am fine the way I am." which only further's my point.
 

J.E.

Robin
The whole day begins with unease and suspicion as she is not comfortable with "mysteries" and "spontaneous things",
So of all days, she insists to start buying you clothing that she wants to see you in, and even pays for it (on her birthday) and not only can she not buy you decent-looking clothing but buys the most tacky-looking clothing you can find, off colors and odd materials that wrinkle and just have poor character.
She sounds mentally ill. What girl doesn't like surprises and mysteries? She degrading you is something an older sister would do to her kid-brother. For some reason she lost all respect and harbors an ill will towards you. Without any given details about your character in the relationship there is only one thing I can say: dömp it.
 
I understand anger. I too have had issues with it.

At 38 I would assume you had figured out that giving in to your passions only hampers your rational mind.

Anger is a passion, not a virtue. It needs to be sublimated for righteous purposes, so that it can be used for good. Righteous indignation against an evil act, for instance, is when a little bit of anger may be used for good. Blowing up on a girl you have no respect for and clearly think is a vapid airhead is just a sign that you don't respect yourself well enough to chose better women.

You clearly have no respect for this person, and frankly I don't think you're interested in any self-improvement. Or genuine observation. You want us all to say "Yeah she sounds like a dumb ass." but really nobody cares and the behavior only reflects badly on you.

Carry on I suppose...while you may say you don't need affirmation, the nature of the post is one who is saying "look at me, look what I did" and is pretty childish.

I've been there. Experience keeps an expensive school, but a fool will learn no other way. I dont say this to be a dick... you'll probably say "what does this person know, I am fine the way I am." which only further's my point.
Well, I don't think it's a matter of age, but like I said the situation called for it. I've always been the same person, and Anger is the means of which I interact with this world. Anyone who says or does otherwise, simply is not Angry enough or not paying attention because the world is too much of a joke.

But yeah I did lose respect for her so I really didn't care how I came across. I have certain thresholds that cannot be breached.

Posting this was not for attention but curiosity of what ways others would respond to such a situation.
 
She sounds mentally ill. What girl doesn't like surprises and mysteries? She degrading you is something an older sister would do to her kid-brother. For some reason she lost all respect and harbors an ill will towards you. Without any given details about your character in the relationship there is only one thing I can say: dömp it.
Pretty much... She was very unstable in so many ways and went to great lengths to also hide her instability and had issues with pair bonding. And then go figure, months later she wrote me this apology in regrets after dating someone else who did her in worse...

"After all this time, I want you to know. I did have feelings for you and I did give you a chance and I do not regret it. Reason why things turned out the way they did, and why I wasn't sure, is because I was turned down by your negativity and anger. I do have anger inside me too. I also hate this world, which is full of all sorts of hypocrisy, injustice and lies. Nevertheless, I never was able to understand your endless hate. I know, you gonna say, well because this, this and that...I know. Just don't. Reason me writing you is to establish peace. I'm forgiving you for everything you did, up to your girl contacting me, etc. I hope you understand we were not a good match. 2 intense people with different beliefs would turn each other into dust. I am sorry for all the pain I caused you, all confusion. Remember everything that happened was meaningful. I appreciate all you did, you coming all the way from East Coast, you being true and all the good things that were between us. That's all."
 

J.E.

Robin
She was very unstable in so many ways and went to great lengths to also hide her instability and had issues with pair bonding
Well, what does that say about you?

You gotta grow up and get over it and stop complaining on this Persian pug breeding forum. You are almost 40, for Christ's sake. You getting angry easily is not hip nor cool. A man needs to be in control of his emotions and shows them only when truly appropriate, and the scenario you described was inappropriate.
 

Troller

Pelican
You should have left the store. And maybe waited for her outside. Since it was her birthday. But it´s painful. Woman like that are mentally painful. Woman are always mentally painful. But some more than others.
 
Well, what does that say about you?

You gotta grow up and get over it and stop complaining on this Persian pug breeding forum. You are almost 40, for Christ's sake. You getting angry easily is not hip nor cool. A man needs to be in control of his emotions and shows them only when truly appropriate, and the scenario you described was inappropriate.
Persian pug breeding forum? What is that LOL. Eh I don't believe in control of emotions, I've always been the same person with what I do, I don't believe in holding things back because it just leads towards someone getting abused more. I've had many lessons in life and I follow instincts even before logic or good manners.
 

J.E.

Robin
Persian pug breeding forum? What is that LOL. Eh I don't believe in control of emotions, I've always been the same person with what I do, I don't believe in holding things back because it just leads towards someone getting abused more. I've had many lessons in life and I follow instincts even before logic or good manners.
If you are so smart and experienced why do you ask for advice here? Not controlling your emotions has an adjective: childish. That's one of the first things to learn when becoming a man ...
 
You should have left the store. And maybe waited for her outside. Since it was her birthday. But it´s painful. Woman like that are mentally painful. Woman are always mentally painful. But some more than others.
I actually did it outside in the area right out of the store and then made it so bad for her she went back inside to return the goods and then, let's just say what kind of mannerisms I did out in public made her not ever want to be seen in my presence again. So the rest of the day went to waste and was spent apart. No way am I going to let something like that go, especially while she wasted all my time and arrangements traveling 3000 miles to see her. There was much more to the story of other things and fights in our relationship, but she took for granted all the time and money I went out of my way to see her.

I learned after our relationship ended that as I was working like a dog in times when I returned back home to pack up my belongings to move out there and get us a place together, that she suspected me of cheating... So we all know what she was really doing behind my back.
 
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