This thinking is a trap. Even if kidding, buying into the running bah humbug "joke" can affect your emotional state, attitude, and day-to-day mentality.
Me, I like the holidays.
I just avoid the stuff I don't like.
I don't go shopping so the crowds at the malls don't bother me. If I buy gifts, I generally order them online.
Every once in a while I hear Christmas music - a song or two isn't going to ruin my day, but it's very seldom I hear it playing over and over. I was working in a coffee shop the other day when someone was doing that, and I heckled the girl working a little and she changed it for me - no biggie. She agreed it was a bit obnoxious. If she hadn't, well, I probably would have just worked at home for a few weeks or at least brought in headphones.
For the most part I'm in my truck or my home, where I choose the music or play podcasts, though. It's not like the old days where you were stuck with radio stations and local TV stations for entertainment and couldn't easily switch. It isn't like my friends are playing Christmas music when I visit them. If a few Christmas songs on a trip through a grocery store or something are enough to ruin your day, your problems are bigger than Christmas.
I actually like the festive decorations and the light displays people put up on their homes. I wouldn't want to be the one to put it all together but I think it's pretty cool and makes driving around town at night a pleasure.
I keep the gift giving simple and sincere. Only get small gifts for my immediate family (brothers and mom and their significant others, the kids).
I try to buy them things I think will improve them in some way. For kids, just look for their most creative outlet and help them explore it.
For adults, it's a great time to buy them a book that's just upon the cusp of their interests enough that they'll be interested to read it (maybe based on a goal I know they have or a conversation we had) but far enough beyond them to expand their perspective. If they don't like reading, buy an audio format - no biggie.
They may never get around to it but it sure is a pleasure when it shifts their paradigm for them. Sometimes I buy something similar for someone else who my relationship is especially tight with of late.
For many years I seemed to always be broke around Christmas. No one cared. I just got some simple things for the kids and showed up to spend time with my family.
Don't like ugly Chrismas sweater parties? Don't go then. I don't even own any of these sweaters, but I was thinking of borrowing one of my brother's to go on an ugly Christmas sweater run for a cause.
I mean, why the fuck not? I think we can all agree this country needs more of a sense of community.
I even like the cold these days. I've been doing a lot of cold therapy and attended a Wim Hof seminar this year. When it's cold out like this, I don't have to drive out of town to find a cryotherapy unit. I can just go out jogging or walking in a tank top.
The other morning there was frost on the ground and I went out shirtless at 7 a.m. on a 4-mile, very hilly jog/walk while other men were driving by in comfortable trucks looking miserable bundled up in a heavy coat and knit cap, looking at me like I was crazy.
The cold feels great but so does knowing you are capable of so much more than everyone else around you.
Come to think of it, I didn't mind the cold so much as a kid either. Sometimes our power would go out for nearly a week and we'd light candles and cook on the stove and find other shit to do besides the TV. The river down at the bottom of town would flood and the whole town would come together to help people get their shit out before it was too late. These ended up being huge community experiences.
Just a season of life.
For a community so intrigued by Stoic philosophy there seems to be a lot of resistance to discomfort and uncomfortable memories around here. There were Christmases when we were kids when my mom couldn't afford gifts. Sometimes this organization that delivered gifts to children of prison inmates would come through but not always.
In any case, there were a lot of wealthy families where I grew up and some of the gifts other kids brought to school sure made me envious, but I got over it, and now I'm glad I didn't grow up spoiled like that. Aunts and uncles and people like that would send books - I fucking love books.
Growing up poor and often receiving books as gifts not to mention all those cold winters spent reading what was on Ma's bookshelves has paid me back many times over throughout my life, opening up worlds of possiblity. I think my life would be very different if it wasn't for books. All the coolest shit I've seen and done can somehow be traced back to books.
Maybe it would have been different if we had better gifts, but I remember my favorite present was really the stockings my mom hung out and filled with little simple surprises. Mostly assorted candies and fruits and the ocaissional cheap toys. She still hangs out our stockings every year with our names on them.
I don't know why I liked it so much as a kid, but it was the first thing we ran for when we woke up. I'll hang them out for my kids someday too.
I used to get my mom to drive me down country roads before Christmas so I could climb wet tree trunks and scale the branches and cut down bunches of mistletoe. And then I'd divide them up into perfect little pieces and tie ribbons to them and sell them in front of the stores. One of my many, and one of my favorite, young entrepreneurial ventures.
When I was about 13 or 14, I bagged up all my old toys, stuffed a pillow under my coat, and put on a fake beard and santa hat someone had given me - and went down to give them to a young kid down the street whose tweaker mom, one of my mother's "friends", had divulged to me that she couldn't get him presents that year. Even that young, that was one of my favorite Christmases. I really got a sense of what it felt like to actually make a difference for someone - the kid was ecstatic and his mother was in tears at the gesture.
It sounds corny, but if you really hate it so much, try giving by volunteering or something - it really does make you feel better. This isn't just feel-good stuff; it's proven by science that we are happier when we commit acts of charity.
Giving can be as easy as inviting someone who doesn't have anywhere else to go over for dinner. Man, did this one turn into some great parties for us. For me there are some tough associations with the holiday and the season but there are some great memories too - isn't each and every life that way? Pick which ones you want to focus on.
I like port wine (not drinking now so will give it a miss) and used to always pick out a nice bottle to bring to Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. I think port is one of the most underrated wines on the planet, and holidays are a great excuse. When living in Asia, I'd often go hunt down whatever I could find - usually some Fladgate, and go sit down at a nice restaurant with music and drink it over dinner and think about my family. Wasn't the same as being with them but it tied me to the traditions we shared even while I was living deep among the Thais.
I love egg nog too. Don't get me started with the pies. The food, the food. A reason to come together with the people I love to share some laughs and bomb food - that's one of my favorite things to do.
Hell, I remember my first Christmas in Southeast Asia, an old girlfriend flew over, and we spent Christmas on the beach drinking mai tais. If you hate it so much, do something like that. Each one of you is a grown man, I presume - you can do anything you want.
But honestly, some of you guys need to lighten up. Aren't we already doing enough to throw out the traditions of our culture? Whatever their meaning or origin, they are our tradition and worth preserving.
Put distance between yourself and the consumerism and stick to the simple things. Avoid the bars - I also am not a huge fan of going out NYE (this is a holiday best spent at a house party with a small group of great friends). Other than that, enjoy it for what it is and try not to let the patterns of the world, or things beyond your control, bother you so much.
If you're tied to a workplace where you can't choose the environment, well, you made your bed. Perhaps something to think about. What's really important to you?
For me, one of the most important is controlling my environment and life so others can't drive me too crazy with trivial things. If I ever let something like Christmas drag me down, I think I'd sit back and reflect on myself, where I'm at in my life and whether it's where I really want to be, and my emotional resilience before anything else.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
