I just want to quote some from Schopenhauer, who wrote about this topic more than a 100 years ago.
But in the West the woman, and especially the lady, finds herself in a false position; for woman, rightly called by the ancients sexus sequior, is by no means fit to be the object of our honour and veneration, or to hold her head higher than man and be on equal terms with him. The consequences of this false position are sufficiently obvious. Accordingly it would be a very desirable thing if this Number Two of the human race were in Europe also relegated to her natural place, and an end put to that lady-nuisance, which not only moves all Asia to laughter but would have been ridiculed by Greece and Rome as well. It is impossible to calculate the good effects which such a change would bring about in our social, civil and political arrangements. There would be no necessity for the Salic law: it would be a superfluous truism. In Europe the lady, strictly so-called, is a being who should not exist at all; she should be either a housewife or a girl who hopes to become one; and she should be brought up, not to be arrogant, but to be thrifty and submissive. It is just because there are such people as ladies in Europe that the women of the lower classes, that is to say, the great majority of the sex, are much more unhappy than they are in the East.
I share the challenge of relating to modern day women, I can see a good relation happening, but I don't see how it practically works out.
The only moment when I see true happiness in women is when they are with kids. A child like enthusiasm. It will even turn a grumpy sour 70 year old lady in a happy woman. It's fascinating.
In my own experience women are unable to provide original thought and for that reason are uninteresting speaking partners for men. None of my friends speak well with their wives. Women follow, and in modern society that means they follow culture; new clothes every season, because a new colour or style is "in fashion". Their biggest fear is how their female "friends" think over them. And that's mostly bad, women gossip over one another all the time, it's how they "connect". They vote how they think they should vote according to their friends an TV.
The social setting is problematic for women. Most women are unable to go counter the culture. I think you can marry a great foreign Christian girl but if you put her in Western modern society she will copy the women around her. Men are vulnerable to culture, but can go against it, women are powerless about it in my experience. Women are unable to deal with conflicting thoughts, they will fight it or mock it.
So you need an environment where young women can flourish and develop fruitful friendships. And I think that's the hardest at this moment in time.
Nonetheless we are meant for eachother, man and wife, procreation. Because that intrigues me, we are meant for eachother.
I desire a woman to build a family with, a woman who finds joy in running a household and taking care of children, I belief that if I align well with God a household can be fruitful.
I think the only way is to form or join communities with a similar desire, in which the women can build friendships with other healthily aigned women. Modern culture is a parasite, modern magazines, TV, social media. It triggers women at their weakest.
And I see many women be unhappy, working 40 hours per week, having kids, that they dump at day care with an uninterested 19 year old girls (or men), being 35 still going out on party weekends with girlfriends where they get drunk. They are all stressed out, unhappy, while faking happiness.
Then the question becomes, also for myself, how do I relate to this reality? And is there a road to take? I don't know to be honest.
I can see roads to certain quite secluded church communities, which are very scarce, i can pray or wisdom in this matter, somehow I feel I need to find a road in this, if I don't, I can't ever take a woman on this road with me and build a family. And I think this is the low birth rate problem, it's just because I and many with me see no meaningful way.
I don't think the problem is women, but the problem is culture, which is anti-Christian, anti the natural order of things, which makes women unhappy, but because we can not see beyond it (including myself) it's hard to imagine a future.
As Schopenhauer says this western "lady" is a farce. It's a joke.
. Are you saying this with a straight face? Umm, beauty is the standard for men, if you forgot. Pleasant and caretaking/nurturing are the secondary characteristics, but very important, also almost critical (for marriage certainly).
