The importance of intelligence in a spouse

My mother is highly intelligent and was almost the valedictorian of her highschool. Later, she went on to attend Columbia University. But despite all that, she could barely function in the real world in terms of holding a decent job and making a living. And she resented the men she was married to, in large part I suspect because they were betas, and not an alpha chad like my father was... She was unfortunately an alpha widow. My mother didn't want to work, but rather be a housewife (she did keep busy doing housework, and especially gardening, at least when not on a bi-polar mood swing). And yet she resented the men she married, who financially supported her. This made for an unpleasant childhood, especially because her choices in men were not good, to say the least.
 
Too much book smart and you'll have a Sheldon Cooper.

Too much street smart and you'll have a streetcorner thug.

I'd go for a good middleground, preferably soemone not entrenched with the establishment. (helps with critical thinking)

Natural happiness, positive parental relation (especially with her father) and a bit above average intelligence with similar interests is sufficient, however in clown world this is unfortunately already pushing it...
 

EndlessGravity

Woodpecker
I disagree with a lot of what's in this thread.

IMHO, an intelligent spouse, a truly smart one, is more easily led because there are overlaps in values related to intelligence, such as reasonable views for things like money, skepticism of govt propaganda, etc.

Although Roosh is correct about children, I would still choose a wife that would produce male children on par with my own intelligence, to make those values above more easy to teach and convey. You don't have to be super smart to have those values and you could argue that those values are what actually makes someone smart...

However, I'd rather a slightly difficult but intelligent wife tempered by faith over a Facebook-addled churchian that's never read a book in her life.
 
It's a double edged sword. Mothers have a massive effect on child development. In that regard you want the smartest woman possible but then again intelligence isn't purely based on academic and career capability. Emotional intelligence is probably the most important factor for a wife. You want someone that is compassionate but knows when to push back for the right decision in a family. Husbands may not always understand what's best for the family because he is constantly engaged with the external world. A strong and stable woman keeps her husband focused and her children properly educated and loved. Not an easy task.

I think women who are smart and have embraced feminism is the most dangerous bargain. If they have a full time career they are fulfilling a masculine role in their work life. Too much masculine energy in a family and things will get inevitably lead to friction and conflict.
It's a pity this series ever came to an end, but I think one of the greatest shows ever made was King of the Hill. A wonderful, dry, witty commentary on American life and folk wisdom.

Hank Hill was not the smartest guy in the world but he had a lot of common sense. He was naive in many ways particularly in his adulation of his corrupt boss but what he did, he did well. He could fix nearly anything, he was ethical, and he loved his child and wife. His wife, on the other hand, hilarious. Likable, but hilariously dumb. My wife loves the show.

Anyhoo, my point is that emotional intelligence is something different than IQ. Many smart people are not reliable. Men in particular are well known to be "nerds" when they're smart and require a nurturing wife to help them dress well, eat healthy, and socialize. But they usually bring home a decent paycheck so they add that value.

Back in the 90's, I remember the dating market in the 30's was filled with female "nerds" who had money/status, wanted men with money/status, but didn't bring anything other to the table other than demands. They could be gamed, however. That was back then.
 

kamoz

Kingfisher
Gold Member
OP is over analyzing this subject. The type of woman that you are concerned about who is inadequately intelligent, you will not get along with past the first date. Think the trashy girl that you couldn’t have a conversation with. As long as the girl is not this, you are fine.

Women by definition are average. Looking at things from a secular perspective for a moment, nature does not take evolutionary risks with women. They only have so many eggs and it takes time to produce children. As a result nature plays it safe with them. If so many women weren’t overweight, tatted up, etc virtually every woman would be considered attractive right? Same with intelligence. The majority will be “good enough” to not “bring down” your intelligent genes.

Nature in the other hand takes risks with men. There are more very dumb/very smart, very ugly/very good looking men than average men when compared to women. It is a flatter Gaussian distribution in essence. This is because they have trillions of sperm and the highest value man can theoretically impregnate a large number of women.

OPs concern is his offspring. As a result, it doesn’t matter if your mate is a doctor or never went to college. It has no bearing on intelligence. Like many have said, it is overrated. This topic is simpler than you think, requiring a fairly quick and simple “visual inspection” as opposed to something more involved.

If you guys get along on the first date - you are fine from this standpoint.
 
A woman who has a good heart and some integrity is probably more important. Hard to find obviously. I feel bad for the younger generation because more than likely you are going to have to find some woman who can be salvaged, rather than get a good one immediately, so bad is the feminist indoctrination of women today.
 
What I have noticed after 5 years of wedding is that

Instead of IQ ; you need to worry about practical things.
You would like your wife to be
1) Able to read kids books every night
2) Able to wash dishes
3) Able to be polite and distant with foreigners without being rude
4) able to cook
5) able to prepare kids s clothes for school the night before
6) able to joke around in society in a non-vulgar way with her husband s friends
7) sharing with you the fundamentals of kids education : e.g. screens are not good for them
8) not having a nagging voice and not complaining all the time
9) be a bit thankful for the fact that you re working hard ; not drinking ...

Look for moral qualities in women.
Accept up to 10kgs too much ; and a girl of the same SMV than you .

All the rest about IQ is a little bourgeois discussion. My wife is far from being dumb but she told me last time than Guatemala is in Africa.
I felt sorry for her ; but food was ready and I forgot about her relative dumbness.


I was lucky enough to find a great woman but I feel sorry for young generations
 
What I have noticed after 5 years of wedding is that

Instead of IQ ; you need to worry about practical things.
You would like your wife to be
1) Able to read kids books every night
2) Able to wash dishes
3) Able to be polite and distant with foreigners without being rude
4) able to cook
5) able to prepare kids s clothes for school the night before
6) able to joke around in society in a non-vulgar way with her husband s friends
7) sharing with you the fundamentals of kids education : e.g. screens are not good for them
8) not having a nagging voice and not complaining all the time
9) be a bit thankful for the fact that you re working hard ; not drinking ...

Look for moral qualities in women.
Accept up to 10kgs too much ; and a girl of the same SMV than you .

All the rest about IQ is a little bourgeois discussion. My wife is far from being dumb but she told me last time than Guatemala is in Africa.
I felt sorry for her ; but food was ready and I forgot about her relative dumbness.


I was lucky enough to find a great woman but I feel sorry for young generations
Ex wife was very pretty, but dumb as a bag of hammers, and prideful babtist idiocy. Post divorce I have dated really really intelligent women, who were generally on par with my level of intellect. I can second your comments with the following 3 different examples:


First girl was about 5 years older (she was 35 y/o and i was 29 ) Polish immigrant who was very highly educated, attractive, and no kids who was also in the military when I was in. While we could have many interesting conversations and she even presented a few things I had not considered regarding Race/Ethnicity in Europe compared to USA, something was off with her and it was like her being very smart was an obstacle to normal adjustment. She had rejected her Catholic upbringing in Poland, spent time in Iceland, and over time harbored sympathy to Paganism. I later found out after we had slept together she had a tattoo that meant "Do as thou will" in Polish across the area above her womb. So I can check the box on literally having met/slept with a succubus. Not my proudest moment, and I've repented for that one.

Later dated another 35 year old who was very smart, no kids, attractive but there was something off since she had never been married. Our first couple dates were very pleasant and we had several intellectual conversations that were a breath of fresh air from my ex wife. Later I realized she was full on crazy/neurotic to the degree that I thought she might have been an axe murderer in her free time. Also she had one of those weird Grace Bible Churchian Progressive Rock Jesus beliefs that was super progressive liberal white guilt cucky... so that was a hard no for me dog. I knew there was zero chance I'd let her around my kids after about 4 dates. After we stopped seeing each other, i got several messages, each of which was weirder and weirder.

Fast forward about a year currently dating a gal who is same age, has similar intellect, intelligent enough to be able to discuss current events/issues and capable of carrying on a deep conversation, but not such a psycho. She shares the faith, and we have both been converting to Orthodoxy. We both have children from previous marriages, with both our kids being about the same age and there is zero confusion about gender roles/expectations. The 9 points you made above are pretty accurate, plus a few ones idiosyncratic to my own personal situation... but the most important theme I believe is this: The woman needs to be feminine, submissive, and understanding the nature of all relationships as a a God leading a man, a man leading a woman, and both working for the salvation of each other and their children.
 

Christhugger

Kingfisher
Practically, it would be good if she was smart enough to do modern economic things like banking, phone calls to household services, and shopping without making poor decisions and getting scammed, losing you money.

Of course if you the husband are so dumb that you fall for these things as well, I guess it doesn't matter.

My wife seems to be able to handle these things just fine, but I do get a little nervous about it from time to time. She is smart enough but not as smart as me, so I guess this desire to double check the things she's doing is natural... But at the same time I am trying to work on myself and learn to 'let go' and not supervise so much, as it does appear to be unnecessary and I shouldnt worry about it.

I think having a wife too dumb might be problematic as you will resent having to work extra hard to make up for her inabilities and her bad decisions. But if she's too smart for you it would be difficult as well, always having her question your plans and wanting to take a lead role (because of your dumb ideas).
 

Handsome Creepy Eel

Owl
Gold Member
All the rest about IQ is a little bourgeois discussion. My wife is far from being dumb but she told me last time than Guatemala is in Africa. I felt sorry for her ; but food was ready and I forgot about her relative dumbness.
I remember having dinner with another couple where the guy started berating his wife - a beautiful, traditional, loving girl, over how dumb and uneducated she was because she couldn't name at least three painters. I don't think that I've ever wanted to jump across the table and slap an abrasive idiot as badly as that evening.
 

Elipe

Woodpecker
I remember having dinner with another couple where the guy started berating his wife - a beautiful, traditional, loving girl, over how dumb and uneducated she was because she couldn't name at least three painters. I don't think that I've ever wanted to jump across the table and slap an abrasive idiot as badly as that evening.
The real horror show isn't the man berating his wife for being dumb and uneducated, it's that men who do that are the type of men that get women slopping wet, and ergo get first pick on the gorgeous traditional women. IOW, your emotional reaction to that situation is the kind of emotional reaction a white knight makes, although an actual white knight would have jumped across the table to slap him (and then basically come within an inch of getting his skull shattered on a street curb).
 
I had a iq 144-171 as a kid. I can tell you it was hard relating to my pears. I would be concerned about my children going any higher then that.
I probably have around140 based on me going to mensa meetups, helping my mensa friends solve IQ test problems and solidly beating them at matrigma tests.

Sure relating to other kids was difficult. But let’s face it, many normal intelligence kids also have problems in school. If you as a healthy parent notice that you have a really intelligent kid, do like these parents did:
 
What I have noticed after 5 years of wedding is that

Instead of IQ ; you need to worry about practical things.
You would like your wife to be
1) Able to read kids books every night
2) Able to wash dishes
3) Able to be polite and distant with foreigners without being rude
4) able to cook
5) able to prepare kids s clothes for school the night before
6) able to joke around in society in a non-vulgar way with her husband s friends
7) sharing with you the fundamentals of kids education : e.g. screens are not good for them
8) not having a nagging voice and not complaining all the time
9) be a bit thankful for the fact that you re working hard ; not drinking ...

Look for moral qualities in women.
Accept up to 10kgs too much ; and a girl of the same SMV than you .

All the rest about IQ is a little bourgeois discussion. My wife is far from being dumb but she told me last time than Guatemala is in Africa.
I felt sorry for her ; but food was ready and I forgot about her relative dumbness.


I was lucky enough to find a great woman but I feel sorry for young generations
It's not about being able to do those things, it's about being *willing...* Lol
 
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