The Mademoiselle From Hell: The French Blonde With The Freight-train of Baggage

You're a saint if you read the whole thing [at the link]. Please don't just write TLDR if you're not going to read or at least skim it.

My ordeal with a borderline personality psycho-bitch drama queen. I originally posted this on Quora.

Nobody should ever put up with this sort of drama, let alone for as long as I did. Shame on me for tolerating this bad behavior. Although the really bad behavior only began after our meet-up when she went back to the EU and things went long-distance/remote and COVID-1984 set in. I think a lot of people are marginally healthy in regards to mental health and COVID-1984 was all it has taken to push them into full-blown episodes/illness.



The Mademoiselle From Hell: The French Blonde With The Freight-train of Baggage-



*Anonymous with few identifiers because she is a prominent Quora member, somebody whom I actually initially met via Quora- I would venture a guess if she read this she would know it was about her*
 

ball dont lie

Kingfisher
Gold Member
So every person you knew told you how stupid you were being and you didnt listen to any of them.

Usually the crazy ones do it mostly in private, so that they can separate and gaslight you. They tell you its all in your head and there arent outside voices that agree with you, that actually the woman is completely insane, just as you suspected.

Here, you and everyone you knew saw and explained that the woman was awful and you put up with it. For years? TLDR everything.

A sucker is born every minute. Why have friends and family and trusted people if you wont believe any of them - especially if they also agree with your conscience?
 
So every person you knew told you how stupid you were being and you didnt listen to any of them.

Usually the crazy ones do it mostly in private, so that they can separate and gaslight you. They tell you its all in your head and there arent outside voices that agree with you, that actually the woman is completely insane, just as you suspected.

Here, you and everyone you knew saw and explained that the woman was awful and you put up with it. For years? TLDR everything.

A sucker is born every minute. Why have friends and family and trusted people if you wont believe any of them - especially if they also agree with your conscience?



Apparently you missed a big detail.

It clearly said the entire relationship was 12-14 months. How do you get "years" out of that, I don't know.
 
Also there was the issue that initially all of my friends thought she was great/amazing, she was rather charming during the initial meetings.

She was extremely well-behaved and didn't have a single blip or episode during her 10 days here. She also had an impressive degree from the most prestigious flagship university in France, is very beautiful, well-spoken, well-dressed, and carries herself well. She projects a certain image.

Initially all of my friends were impressed and thought, "wow, she's amazing, she's so beautiful, well-spoken, articulate, lucky you."

After she returned home and it went long-distance, she did an almost 180 degree in her behavior.
 

NickK

Woodpecker
I'll focus on what you did wrong, since she is out of reach.

1. If you are with someone, you don't have your ex as a friend in social media. You are with a woman and she deserves your undivided attention. The fact that you feel the need to be "friends" with your ex is not cool. She was right to be jelous about your ex's "likes".

2. Dude, you believe in reincarnation? And you call her crazy? She was right to call you on this one.

3. In relation to 1, she needs to feel special. Why did you tell her you do the same routine when you court other girls? If you are in the game of fornication, at least play it right, make something up.

You want to fornicate with a 10? You have to pay the price.
 
I'll focus on what you did wrong, since she is out of reach.

1. If you are with someone, you don't have your ex as a friend in social media. You are with a woman and she deserves your undivided attention. The fact that you feel the need to be "friends" with your ex is not cool. She was right to be jelous about your ex's "likes".

2. Dude, you believe in reincarnation? And you call her crazy? She was write to call you on this one.

3. In relation to 1, she needs to feel special. Why did you tell her you do the same routine when you court other girls? If you are in the game of fornication, at least play it right, make something up.

You want to fornicate with a 10? You have to pay the price.


About 30% of the world population believes in reincarnation, including 25% of American adults. It isn't something that would support a diagnosis of mental illness. A normal person can believe in reincarnation without being insane or mentally ill. Normal people don't flippantly threaten suicide or plan/ponder on suicide over trifles.

Plato believed in the permanence of the soul and the pre-existence of the soul.

I believe we existed in the soul before our souls took on flesh and that after mortal existence terminates we can again manifest later in the flesh. I believe our souls were with God before we became humans in the flesh and our souls will return to God when our bodies expire.
 
I'll focus on what you did wrong, since she is out of reach.

1. If you are with someone, you don't have your ex as a friend in social media. You are with a woman and she deserves your undivided attention. The fact that you feel the need to be "friends" with your ex is not cool. She was right to be jelous about your ex's "likes".

2. Dude, you believe in reincarnation? And you call her crazy? She was right to call you on this one.

3. In relation to 1, she needs to feel special. Why did you tell her you do the same routine when you court other girls? If you are in the game of fornication, at least play it right, make something up.

You want to fornicate with a 10? You have to pay the price.


When people ask questions I tend to give them honest answers rather than lying.

If somebody asks me, "have you taken other women here?" or "did you come to this place with your ex?" I don't lie and say, "oh no no no" and then trip over myself trying to explain how I know the menu so well, I just answer, "yes, we came here before."
 
She must have been quite the 10/10 one of a kind blonde goddess for you to write a 15 paragraph mini-book on quora about it, and that from the millionaire playboy lawyer guy who had no less than 10 women propose him to marry them

How could you not follow your own advice and common sense and exit the situation upon the first red flag that you got a psycho on your hands? Tell me, im curious. That behaviour is completely unacceptable and would have gotten her executed if this was the middle ages or earlier.

real life demon
 

NickK

Woodpecker
When people ask questions I tend to give them honest answers rather than lying.

If somebody asks me, "have you taken other women here?" or "did you come to this place with your ex?" I don't lie and say, "oh no no no" and then trip over myself trying to explain how I know the menu so well, I just answer, "yes, we came here before."
Like I said, if you want to fornicate with a high maintenance 10, you also have to lie frequently.

About your reincarnation fantasies: Plato was just a man imagining things because he didn't know the true God.
 
She must have been quite the 10/10 one of a kind blonde goddess for you to write a 15 paragraph mini-book on quora about it, and that from the millionaire playboy lawyer guy who had no less than 10 women propose him to marry them

How could you not follow your own advice and common sense and exit the situation upon the first red flag that you got a psycho on your hands? Tell me, im curious. That behaviour is completely unacceptable and would have gotten her executed if this was the middle ages or earlier.

real life demon


Let's say I found myself more than willing to write her bad behaviors in April-May of 2020, and from that point forward, off, as COVID-19 anxiety from being in an EU lock-down tyranny. If she were plain I would have been far less willing to overlook her obvious problems. If she were ugly I wouldn't have been interested in the first place. I wanted to be able to explain away her problems as something situational with society that wasn't inherent to her.

Am I the only man to have ever been enamored or laid low by the wiles of a gorgeous woman? It happens.

Looking back over my texts to my friends I had about 10-15 times in the spring and summer of 2020 where I said, "I think I should be done with her" or "I think I want to dump her," or "I ought to dump her."

I clearly knew better and it took me a while to act on it. As I said, it happens.


You're more willing to put effort into a Ferrari even if you know the vehicle is a money pit and isn't going to be serviceable, than you are willing to put time and attention into the Ford Pinto or the 1989 Yugo or Trabant. It is part of human nature, it happens.
 
Like I said, if you want to fornicate with a high maintenance 10, you also have to lie frequently.

About your reincarnation fantasies: Plato was just a man imagining things because he didn't know the true God.


I believe Plato was a Christian before Christ, his basic doctrine was a confession of objective moral truth and objective reality. Plato was the pinnacle of learning that man can achieve without direct revelation.

Plato would have participated in the ministry of Christ or the original apostles if he had been a contemporary or come in the immediate aftermath of Christ's main ministry.
 
In any event, I've felt an enormous relief since ending the relationship, praying intensely on the matter, repenting for having participated in a relationship that was inappropriate and sinful, and for having been enamored enough with such a woman that I violated God's law and my own standards by going to bed with her and having had a relationship with her.

I would have liked to undo the whole thing, but life doesn't work that way. All I can do is move forward and remember the sense of shame I have over the whole situation so I don't replicate or repeat the mistake and add to my shame.
 
She must have been quite the 10/10 one of a kind blonde goddess for you to write a 15 paragraph mini-book on quora about it, and that from the millionaire playboy lawyer guy who had no less than 10 women propose him to marry them

How could you not follow your own advice and common sense and exit the situation upon the first red flag that you got a psycho on your hands? Tell me, im curious. That behaviour is completely unacceptable and would have gotten her executed if this was the middle ages or earlier.

real life demon


Every single one of my friends initially raved about how gorgeous she was. As I said, she also made a great first impression on people.

We're programmed to want to like beautiful women.

I ultimately told a friend, "a major take-away for me, the most vile toxic poison can be contained within a gorgeous and enticing package. Truly ugly souls can reside in majestically beautiful bodies."

We conceive of the devil as some hideous figure with horns, a tail, more beast than man in appearance. I would assume that if he was a corrupter and a deceiver he must be intensely charming, majestic in appearance, with an alluring voice and very charismatic. A grotesque, ugly, and repulsive being with a harsh raspy voice would be easy to spot and recoil from.
 
She must have been quite the 10/10 one of a kind blonde goddess for you to write a 15 paragraph mini-book on quora about it, and that from the millionaire playboy lawyer guy who had no less than 10 women propose him to marry them

How could you not follow your own advice and common sense and exit the situation upon the first red flag that you got a psycho on your hands? Tell me, im curious. That behaviour is completely unacceptable and would have gotten her executed if this was the middle ages or earlier.

real life demon


Given I can count the number of lifetime partners I have had, on one hand [not even using all of the fingers], I wouldn't classify myself as a playboy. I was never a playboy, player, PUA, etc.
 

Elefant

Sparrow
You're intoxicated by her beauty. Still. Probably the accent too.

Part of you enjoyed riding the emotional roller coaster. Terrible as it was, you miss the rush.

Its classic Oneitis and we've all been there.

Rationally, you know you've done the right thing to call it quits, but you're having a lingering doubt.

From your writing, your hard line in the sand seems to be any past involvement in prostitution/sugar daddy arrangements. If there were any means at your disposal to easily verify this and found it to be true (as you suspect), perhaps it can help you move on.
 
You're intoxicated by her beauty. Still. Probably the accent too.

Part of you enjoyed riding the emotional roller coaster. Terrible as it was, you miss the rush.

Its classic Oneitis and we've all been there.

Rationally, you know you've done the right thing to call it quits, but you're having a lingering doubt.

From your writing, your hard line in the sand seems to be any past involvement in prostitution/sugar daddy arrangements. If there were any means at your disposal to easily verify this and found it to be true (as you suspect), perhaps it can help you move on.

When you're on a rollercoaster and somebody idealizes you on Monday and makes you the center of their world, it is a huge ego boost, even if they turn on you on Tuesday and make you the devil of their world.


A colleague who specializes in investigations and digging into people's backgrounds suggested I contact some private investigator in Paris, another one in Lyon [her home city], another in Moscow, and another in Brussels [where she is now], and look to find an arrest record he has made an educated guess will be found to exist in Moscow. He theorizes she was arrested in Moscow and deported from Russia which is why she went back to France without a job. He said it would cost a few thousand dollars, and I decided, "that is several thousand dollars I can spend on my hobbies and getting back on track with things I would actually derive enjoyment from."

I told him, "I know what I need to know, she's not a good woman, she's not Godly, she has never even read the Bible, and when I asked her what her eschatology was, she didn't even know the word. I don't need to find an actual arrest record for prostitution to know she's not a moral virtuous woman. I know what I need, she's not wife material. I logically know everything I need but there was an important emotional bond, I took her into my house and went to bed with her, it was an important act on my part and it was in the context of what I thought was going to culminate in her becoming my wife, but she's not fit to be a wife."

During initial correspondence and communication she went to great lengths to stress she would only go with a "good Christian man" and that Christianity was incredibly important to her, she attended mass, she said she had been with a fiance and lived with him and had intended to marry him but he cheated on her and she had mostly been alone/loner after that except for a few boyfriends while insisting "but nothing happened with them."

After we met and she went back to the EU we had more in-depth conversations, I learnt she was fascinated with the lives of famous French courtesans and digested biographies on actresses, celebrities, mistresses to high profile leaders, etc., but had never even read the Bible once. If she had told me prior to our meeting how obsessed she was with celebrities and how she had digested dozens of biographies on actresses, starlets, and was fixated on following the personalities of frankly trashy drama queens and sluts, I would have written her off before ever meeting her.

If I had known before meeting her what sort of stuff she spent her time reading, and that she had never read the Bible, and that she didn't even know what eschatology meant, I would never have met her.


I have moved on logically, but not entirely in the realm of emotion
 
You're intoxicated by her beauty. Still. Probably the accent too.

Part of you enjoyed riding the emotional roller coaster. Terrible as it was, you miss the rush.

Its classic Oneitis and we've all been there.

Rationally, you know you've done the right thing to call it quits, but you're having a lingering doubt.

From your writing, your hard line in the sand seems to be any past involvement in prostitution/sugar daddy arrangements. If there were any means at your disposal to easily verify this and found it to be true (as you suspect), perhaps it can help you move on.


I've always had a concrete, "I won't accept a non-virgin as possible wife material" rule and any time I have bent that rule I have gotten burnt and wound up with nothing but pain and misery to show for it.

I have told other men, "if she isn't a virgin and she claims to have had one partner before you, you have no way to ever know for sure, all you can do is look for behavioral evidence of massive hidden baggage because if she is concealing a past as an escort, call-girl, Dubai whore, or the town bicycle, you will probably have a lot of bad behavior and unstable behavior to deal with from her."

When she isn't a virgin she could be telling the truth as to "only one other partner" or it could be 200 partners, it is an open-question and a huge question mark.
 
Let's say I found myself more than willing to write her bad behaviors in April-May of 2020, and from that point forward, off, as COVID-19 anxiety from being in an EU lock-down tyranny. If she were plain I would have been far less willing to overlook her obvious problems. If she were ugly I wouldn't have been interested in the first place. I wanted to be able to explain away her problems as something situational with society that wasn't inherent to her.

Am I the only man to have ever been enamored or laid low by the wiles of a gorgeous woman? It happens.

Looking back over my texts to my friends I had about 10-15 times in the spring and summer of 2020 where I said, "I think I should be done with her" or "I think I want to dump her," or "I ought to dump her."

I clearly knew better and it took me a while to act on it. As I said, it happens.


You're more willing to put effort into a Ferrari even if you know the vehicle is a money pit and isn't going to be serviceable, than you are willing to put time and attention into the Ford Pinto or the 1989 Yugo or Trabant. It is part of human nature, it happens.


Sounds like you wanted a trophy. A stunning french model looking girl with charm and an accent, especially corroborated by the fact that all your friends were basically stunned by her.

I liked your analogy with the Ferrari, but the car is an inanimate object, and the wife is an animate object. You as a human have not evolved over millions of years to completely lose your mind from devious brain chemicals at the sight of a chunk of metal like a car, but thats exactly what happened with your french girl.

Your brain was basically IMPLORING you to procreate with this fine specimen. Everything besides that was you trying to deal with the consequences of the trick your brain pulled on you. That's all there is.

Not a biggie!

Also, you not having slept with many women is a double edged sword, since you sounds very picky, so you pick the 10/10 specimens I suppose but in modern society those are the worst types to be with. Having been defecated on by rich arabs, brains completely destroyed by the attention her 1.3 million instagram followers are giving them. Men far and wide offering them money, trips to exotic locales in 5 star hotels.

More trouble than its worth.
 
Sounds like you wanted a trophy. A stunning french model looking girl with charm and an accent, especially corroborated by the fact that all your friends were basically stunned by her.

I liked your analogy with the Ferrari, but the car is an inanimate object, and the wife is an animate object. You as a human have not evolved over millions of years to completely lose your mind from devious brain chemicals at the sight of a chunk of metal like a car, but thats exactly what happened with your french girl.

Your brain was basically IMPLORING you to procreate with this fine specimen. Everything besides that was you trying to deal with the consequences of the trick your brain pulled on you. That's all there is.

Not a biggie!

Also, you not having slept with many women is a double edged sword, since you sounds very picky, so you pick the 10/10 specimens I suppose but in modern society those are the worst types to be with. Having been defecated on by rich arabs, brains completely destroyed by the attention her 1.3 million instagram followers are giving them. Men far and wide offering them money, trips to exotic locales in 5 star hotels.

More trouble than its worth.


Prior to the meeting she said a lot of the right things. She claimed to be traditional, submissive, conservative, she said she had always dreamed of being a stay-at-home mother and housewife, she wanted 3-6 children, she would only marry a Christian man and that Christianity was very important to her.

When I asked her, "If all of that is very important to you why are you single, unmarried, never married, and working in an office at age 30?" she got a bit upset and started going on about average marriage age in the EU and how "French men won't get married until 40 and don't want children and won't support a stay-at-home wife/mother."

She said, "so you think my being single and never married is a red flag?"

I said, "one of my friends wondered why a great catch such as yourself hasn't already been snatched up and he wonders how you managed to not wind up married in your early 20s. He thought you should have landed your choice of man 8 years ago and should have two or three kids by now."

Later my same friend told me, "we have solved the mystery, she is simply no great catch."
 
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