The NoPorn / NoFap Thread - For Those Who're Serious

Lawrence87

Kingfisher
Orthodox
Are intimate sexual thoughts of a woman as if she was your wife without masturbation still sinful?

You should not try to give yourself allowances like this.

It's like saying "well I'll just invite the prostitute back to my room, and we will sit on the bed and chat, and I won't do anything..."

Well why would you do that? Most men have lustful thoughts and struggle with this, but as Christians we should avoid entertaining them.

Telling yourself that it's fine to think them about an imaginary woman or a non married woman that you love is allowing the evil one to get into your head.

You will have lustful thoughts, and likely you will have falls in regards to masturbation. Don't think you can justify any of it though. Turn away from lustful thoughts and repent of them
 

Viktor Zeegelaar

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
A world of difference between a healthy hearty fire in the fireplace. And an out of control fire burning down the House.

God given healthy Eros is the former. Lust is the latter.
That's a great analogy my friend! Porn then is like a continuous fire burning the hand, making you retract out of pain, shame and remorse yet being attracted to it like a magnet again and again. Especially porn nowadays is such a swamp of filth since they started pushing things like incest and homosexual stuff among general area's whereas these area's in the past were never combined, no way homosexual porn would pop up as you were browsing on porn sites. Shows what a deadly and absolute through and through demonic weapon it is. I've been off it now for several days among heavy demonic attacks, yet as I withstand I feel a great feeling of inner peace and gratefulness after. I pray that I may never fall back again in this specific destructive and disgusting trap.
 

Zagor

Kingfisher
I've been a habitual porn user for a decade or so. I had sex with girls, but it would probably be fair to say that my idea of sex is masturbating to a screen.
I'm currently in my longest streak ever. I'm not exactly sure how long, but it's been probably around 45 days or so (i might've relapsed once or twice during this period, I honestly don't remember.) I've met this great girl so I didn't want to fap while we were together and therefore I've decided to stop watching porn.
But I was not prepared for the withdrawal symptoms.
For seemingly no reason whatsoever, couple of weeks into our relationship I got so depressed, anxious and absent minded that it become impossible for me to enjoy anything, let alone my time with her. I had this constant feeling of panic which I concretely felt as a never ending cramp in my solar plexus. I was also so absent minded that I just couldn't enjoy the moment, my thoughts were constantly somewhere else or I was just mindless, without any thought in my head but also not present.
I've also experienced ED while attempting to have sex with this girl (which I did reluctantly because even the thought or anticipation of sex couldn't get me excited).
I ended the relationship because I saw how confused and tormented the girl was because of what at the beginning looked as a intense desire from my side quickly became indifference at best, in such a short time. To be honest, I don't feel like being with her because she doesn't bring me any joy. When, on paper, she should. Nothing brings me joy actually. I have such feelings of hopelessness and despair. I can imagine now why some people turn to alcohol and drugs or even suicide when experiencing this state. It's frankly unbearable. I feel like breaking down in tears every day and in fact I do.
And I'm analyzing now why I got so severely in depression specifically at this moment in time, and It's got to be the withdrawal from porn. Porn probably fried my dopamine receptors with overstimulation and now everything seems so bland, boring and meaningless. What are your thoughts, has anyone experienced anything similar?
 

Coja Petrus Uscan

Crow
Orthodox Inquirer
Gold Member
I've been a habitual porn user for a decade or so. I had sex with girls, but it would probably be fair to say that my idea of sex is masturbating to a screen.
I'm currently in my longest streak ever. I'm not exactly sure how long, but it's been probably around 45 days or so (i might've relapsed once or twice during this period, I honestly don't remember.) I've met this great girl so I didn't want to fap while we were together and therefore I've decided to stop watching porn.
But I was not prepared for the withdrawal symptoms.
For seemingly no reason whatsoever, couple of weeks into our relationship I got so depressed, anxious and absent minded that it become impossible for me to enjoy anything, let alone my time with her. I had this constant feeling of panic which I concretely felt as a never ending cramp in my solar plexus. I was also so absent minded that I just couldn't enjoy the moment, my thoughts were constantly somewhere else or I was just mindless, without any thought in my head but also not present.
I've also experienced ED while attempting to have sex with this girl (which I did reluctantly because even the thought or anticipation of sex couldn't get me excited).
I ended the relationship because I saw how confused and tormented the girl was because of what at the beginning looked as a intense desire from my side quickly became indifference at best, in such a short time. To be honest, I don't feel like being with her because she doesn't bring me any joy. When, on paper, she should. Nothing brings me joy actually. I have such feelings of hopelessness and despair. I can imagine now why some people turn to alcohol and drugs or even suicide when experiencing this state. It's frankly unbearable. I feel like breaking down in tears every day and in fact I do.
And I'm analyzing now why I got so severely in depression specifically at this moment in time, and It's got to be the withdrawal from porn. Porn probably fried my dopamine receptors with overstimulation and now everything seems so bland, boring and meaningless. What are your thoughts, has anyone experienced anything similar?

These are symptoms of being gay.

BELvwxnO.jpeg


I am immune to masturbation. All it took was getting on my knees and asking for forgiveness.
 

soli.deo.gloria

Woodpecker
Orthodox
Gold Member
I've been a habitual porn user for a decade or so. I had sex with girls, but it would probably be fair to say that my idea of sex is masturbating to a screen.
I'm currently in my longest streak ever. I'm not exactly sure how long, but it's been probably around 45 days or so (i might've relapsed once or twice during this period, I honestly don't remember.) I've met this great girl so I didn't want to fap while we were together and therefore I've decided to stop watching porn.
But I was not prepared for the withdrawal symptoms.
For seemingly no reason whatsoever, couple of weeks into our relationship I got so depressed, anxious and absent minded that it become impossible for me to enjoy anything, let alone my time with her. I had this constant feeling of panic which I concretely felt as a never ending cramp in my solar plexus. I was also so absent minded that I just couldn't enjoy the moment, my thoughts were constantly somewhere else or I was just mindless, without any thought in my head but also not present.
I've also experienced ED while attempting to have sex with this girl (which I did reluctantly because even the thought or anticipation of sex couldn't get me excited).
I ended the relationship because I saw how confused and tormented the girl was because of what at the beginning looked as a intense desire from my side quickly became indifference at best, in such a short time. To be honest, I don't feel like being with her because she doesn't bring me any joy. When, on paper, she should. Nothing brings me joy actually. I have such feelings of hopelessness and despair. I can imagine now why some people turn to alcohol and drugs or even suicide when experiencing this state. It's frankly unbearable. I feel like breaking down in tears every day and in fact I do.
And I'm analyzing now why I got so severely in depression specifically at this moment in time, and It's got to be the withdrawal from porn. Porn probably fried my dopamine receptors with overstimulation and now everything seems so bland, boring and meaningless. What are your thoughts, has anyone experienced anything similar?
There is a lot going on here and it sounds very concerning. I would strongly encourage you to talk with an Orthodox Christian priest. I will pray for you.
 

tomzestatlu

Kingfisher
Agnostic
I've been a habitual porn user for a decade or so. I had sex with girls, but it would probably be fair to say that my idea of sex is masturbating to a screen.
I'm currently in my longest streak ever. I'm not exactly sure how long, but it's been probably around 45 days or so (i might've relapsed once or twice during this period, I honestly don't remember.) I've met this great girl so I didn't want to fap while we were together and therefore I've decided to stop watching porn.
But I was not prepared for the withdrawal symptoms.
For seemingly no reason whatsoever, couple of weeks into our relationship I got so depressed, anxious and absent minded that it become impossible for me to enjoy anything, let alone my time with her. I had this constant feeling of panic which I concretely felt as a never ending cramp in my solar plexus. I was also so absent minded that I just couldn't enjoy the moment, my thoughts were constantly somewhere else or I was just mindless, without any thought in my head but also not present.
I've also experienced ED while attempting to have sex with this girl (which I did reluctantly because even the thought or anticipation of sex couldn't get me excited).
I ended the relationship because I saw how confused and tormented the girl was because of what at the beginning looked as a intense desire from my side quickly became indifference at best, in such a short time. To be honest, I don't feel like being with her because she doesn't bring me any joy. When, on paper, she should. Nothing brings me joy actually. I have such feelings of hopelessness and despair. I can imagine now why some people turn to alcohol and drugs or even suicide when experiencing this state. It's frankly unbearable. I feel like breaking down in tears every day and in fact I do.
And I'm analyzing now why I got so severely in depression specifically at this moment in time, and It's got to be the withdrawal from porn. Porn probably fried my dopamine receptors with overstimulation and now everything seems so bland, boring and meaningless. What are your thoughts, has anyone experienced anything similar?
First, I would say, that your problem is consequence of many things, not quitting porn. That´s the best move you can do, no matter the situation you are in.

Don´t have any expectation, that being with girl will make you feel good, let alone having sex with her. It only puts a pressure on you and it has opposite effect. You only write about sexual part of the relationship, but how about the rest. Did you put energy into building a trust with each other and true connection? There are much more things in life, that quality girl can offer to you. Speak about your problems openly with her and if she´s worth your time, she will understand it and might support you in getting to better state.
Men are not machines and sexual desire can be suspended by many things. As well as your joy from living. Is your life balanced enough, that you are not mentally suffering in your both work and personal life? Do you have enough movement? Do you exercise regurarely? Do you expose yourself to sunlight (or dose enoguh Vitamin D)? Do you stay away from junk food, people, entertainment and do you live purposeful life?

Everything is connected with everything, both mentally and physically. If more problems appear (fe example bad mental state and sexual problems), you get into downward spirale and it´s very difficult to get out of it.

I don´t know where are you from, but it´s this weird period of year, when there´s not enough daylight and people tend to break down. I was at similar point last year. I had little joy from life, constantly was overwhelmed by negative thoughts and my sexual drive at it´s all time low.
It´s difficult to get out of it and there´s no simple solution and it takes time.
But most importantly, do only things that support you and avoid doing things, that bring you deeper and depper (porn or alcohol).

Good news is that you can unlearn your brain being addicted to porn and you can restore your normal dopamine levels. It only takes time. If you are concerned about current effect of quiting porn, do it slowly. Restrict yourself to watching it once a week and your brain won´t take so big hit. As time will go and things will get better., you will quit it naturally.
 

inthefade

Kingfisher
Orthodox Inquirer
I've been a habitual porn user for a decade or so. I had sex with girls, but it would probably be fair to say that my idea of sex is masturbating to a screen.
I'm currently in my longest streak ever. I'm not exactly sure how long, but it's been probably around 45 days or so (i might've relapsed once or twice during this period, I honestly don't remember.) I've met this great girl so I didn't want to fap while we were together and therefore I've decided to stop watching porn.
But I was not prepared for the withdrawal symptoms.
For seemingly no reason whatsoever, couple of weeks into our relationship I got so depressed, anxious and absent minded that it become impossible for me to enjoy anything, let alone my time with her. I had this constant feeling of panic which I concretely felt as a never ending cramp in my solar plexus. I was also so absent minded that I just couldn't enjoy the moment, my thoughts were constantly somewhere else or I was just mindless, without any thought in my head but also not present.
I've also experienced ED while attempting to have sex with this girl (which I did reluctantly because even the thought or anticipation of sex couldn't get me excited).
I ended the relationship because I saw how confused and tormented the girl was because of what at the beginning looked as a intense desire from my side quickly became indifference at best, in such a short time. To be honest, I don't feel like being with her because she doesn't bring me any joy. When, on paper, she should. Nothing brings me joy actually. I have such feelings of hopelessness and despair. I can imagine now why some people turn to alcohol and drugs or even suicide when experiencing this state. It's frankly unbearable. I feel like breaking down in tears every day and in fact I do.
And I'm analyzing now why I got so severely in depression specifically at this moment in time, and It's got to be the withdrawal from porn. Porn probably fried my dopamine receptors with overstimulation and now everything seems so bland, boring and meaningless. What are your thoughts, has anyone experienced anything similar?
PIED can take years to be resolved. Keep it up. 45 days is basically nothing. At 90+ days no ejac no porn you'll start getting your energy back, but your brain needs to time to rewire.
 

BillMcNeal

Woodpecker
Other Christian
You should not try to give yourself allowances like this.

It's like saying "well I'll just invite the prostitute back to my room, and we will sit on the bed and chat, and I won't do anything..."

Well why would you do that? Most men have lustful thoughts and struggle with this, but as Christians we should avoid entertaining them.

Telling yourself that it's fine to think them about an imaginary woman or a non married woman that you love is allowing the evil one to get into your head.

You will have lustful thoughts, and likely you will have falls in regards to masturbation. Don't think you can justify any of it though. Turn away from lustful thoughts and repent of them
I've found that it truly does take a change in your soul to be successful with this. I posted in the thread a while back, and I've still successfully held out for over 10 months now. The first month or two is an absolute killer, as the devil will torment you back into your ways if you let him. You definitely have to view this as a moral battle. After those first couple months you see the temptations with a certain form of detachment, as the tricks the devil tried to pull didn't work and all he has left is to try are the same ones over and over. It actually made me laugh when I saw it happening.

The truth is that giving up anything that has a hold on you will only be successful 1) once you break that hold, and 2) once you no longer even want to do that action. If you're depriving yourself, you'll break. If you're embracing God's will for you and forgoing actions that lead to those five seconds of degenerate retardation people call an orgasm, then you can succeed.
 

lskdfjldsf

Pelican
Orthodox Catechumen
Gold Member
Hang a few icons or crucifixes around your desk. The temptation can be overwhelming and these help you to "reset" with just a quick glance away from the monitor. Helpful for pretty much any computer-inspired sin (there are many).

I don't know how you single guys do it. If it weren't for my wife as a pressure release valve (literal and figural) I'd lose it. One of the toughest vices to overcome, for sure.
 

Aleksandar

 
Banned
Other Christian
I will share my experience, related to this subject, it's going to be a bit longer. I'd advise you to read it, since it might help you get a different perspective and quit a demonic activity.

I'm in my late 20s, I was exposed to pornography at around 8 years of age, since there was already pornographic pictures, videos etc. on mobile phones at that time. As expected, masturbation was there as well and every single friend I know was deceived by it at that time.

When I was younger (until I was about ~18) I'd watch pornography and masturbate multiple times per day, especially after we got high-speed internet. I started visiting 4chan as well at around 13-14, where I was exposed to horrific things, but to a lot of truth about politics, human nature etc., but also more pornography. Despite all that, I had normal social life, was training multiple sports, it wasn't the focus of my life, I wasted more time on video games.

Since I was 18 years old, up until two years ago, I had a routine - pornography and masturbation before sleep, usually once (one ejaculation). As we all know, it starts with vanilla interests, but escalates into perversions. Fortunately for me, it never went too far (but it did happen) and I was never really addicted to pornography, despite doing it for 15+ years daily. I had multiple periods where I wouldn't watch porn at all, nor masturbate, just to prove to myself that I can. I always came back to it, since I didn't have enough interest to form relationships with women (caused in part by masturbation/pornography, but mostly by my personality and character) and rationalized that I need to stay healthy in that regard and "clean the pipes". I also trained very, very hard and had very high levels of testosterone (measured via blood tests), but had no girlfriend, so I used it as an outlet.

I knew that the pornography industry is an atheist jewish industry and it's subversive goals, even when I was very young (14-15), but I didn't really care about that and considered myself immune to the deeper effects of it (which proved to be true, at least partially), I used it as a tool to finish a task so to say. But I also did it by imagination alone and sometimes even with a blank mind, pure physicality. I know it sounds funny, but I did it as a precaution so my sense of excitement doesn't rely on pornography alone and it worked.

I'm writing all this, so you have a sense of the situation, so you can understand why my process of quitting was the way it was and why it may be different for you.

Since I need to keep the story short, I started a serious spiritual practice after a couple mystical experiences (first one happened in late 2017.) about 2 and a half years ago. I am an Orthodox Christian, baptized way back in 2007., by my own request, but wasn't part of the Church because I was disappointed in the Clergy, because of them acting the way Pharisees did, with some exceptions.

So when I started my spiritual practice, which I won't describe in detail, since I would be banned, I started getting the feeling that it's extremely harmful for my spiritual development to continue watching pornography and masturbating, so I stopped for a month - no pornography, no masturbation. It wasn't difficult at all, only the first couple of days I had some thoughts about it.

When the period ended, I "rewarded" myself with pornography and masturbation, since I felt like I can stop whenever I want, so it wasn't harming me, nor it's an addiction. But I still had the same thoughts about it - this is harming my spiritual development and connection to God.

While I'm writing this, it seems insane to me how could I ever think that watching other people have perverted sex trough a screen, while masturbating to it can be fine, especially since I'm a person that's highly intelligent and was red pilled while still in early elementary school. It's a demon-induced blindness and self-deception.

It culminated on my birthday, I did the deed before bed, like I did many years, but I had a very strong vision:

My Guardian Angel, deceased ancestors and relatives (especially my grandmother) all looking at me from Heaven on my birthday and crying profusely, because I'm lying in my bed, watching porn on my phone and masturbating, like a demon-possesed imbecile. It was a very strong experience, which removed my blindness and sobered me up instantly.

I dropped on my knees and asked God to help me never do it again, to destroy the demons that are tempting me and swore on my life that I will do everything in my power never to do it again. I never masturbated or viewed pornography (willingly) since then and never will, with God's help. I had the urge to do it a couple months in, but resisted it and I never had it since.

You just have to be vigilant and come to it with a sober mind. Especially when you're doing it, just ask yourself - what am I doing? I'm watching strangers (probably jewish men with Christian-born sexually abused women) which are on hard drugs and alcohol, having sex with 20 people around them and I'm a voyeur, who's masturbating to that scene. Is there anything more pathetic? Just imagine Lord Jesus Christ, who's there for you at all times, witnessing you violate yourself, going in the opposite direction of Grace.

Even if you're doing it without porn, just imagine looking at yourself from above - is that something a person that has such a hard mission, following in the footsteps of Lord Jesus Christ, should be doing? It's self-destruction. Even non-spiritually, how can a grown man do such a thing? It's not normal, disregard the "everyone does it" talks of weaklings. We're on a mission.

I'm telling you now, never do it again. When you get the urge, disassemble it analytically, if it's not obvious enough - you will gain nothing and lose everything by doing it. Rise above it, you're not an animal - which is an unfair comparison, since animal sexuality is as God intended it. Don't be a sub-animalistic creature, don't do it.

I'll list some of the main things that helped me transform the sexual energy, into finer, spiritual energy:

1. Prayer and breath control: For someone who's not knowledgeable enough, there's a simple (at first look), but effective practice, practiced at Mt. Athos. You perform the Jesus Prayer in a comfortable, seated position, with your back straight and head slightly tilted towards the floor, with eyes closed. While inhaling, you mentally say "Lord Jesus Christ", then you pause your breath and mentally say "Son of God" and while exhaling, you mentally say "have mercy on me, a sinner". Keep your breathing natural, don't strain, this is very important. Do this for at least 10 minutes, try to be as relaxed as possible and focus on the meaning of the words, don't repeat it like a parrot, while thinking what you're gonna eat after you finish. This practice should be done early in the morning, before the first meal, after your morning prayer. You also do it before bed, before your evening prayer. First you need to dial in the technical aspects and develop your lungs and breathing musculature, later on, you can visualize the Holy Spirit, as white or yellow light that's entering you when you inhale, spread inside your entire body when you hold your breath and ejecting all the demonic gray-black smoke while exhaling. You will know when it's time to advance. But please don't strain and don't hold your breath too long, nor lower your head so your chin touches your chest, these are very advanced practices and can cause lung and heart problems.

2. Stimuli avoidance: Stop looking at women online, don't look at provocative pictures, "instagram models" and avoid lustfully looking at women in public (difficult). You gain nothing by it, you only cause problems for yourself, it's an act of impotence. If you are looking at pictures of a female friend, pretty women in public or someone who you have realistic chance of meeting, then act upon it, talk with her, don't be a voyeur. I won't waste time on pornography - never watch it again, under any circumstances. If you don't have the willpower, honestly ask God to keep you away from it, by any means necessary - sickness, physical harm etc. This sounds extreme, but we're not on a picnic.

3. Have proper perception and understanding of sexuality and love: A person does not need sexual pleasure, sexual pleasure with the absence of love is masturbating with a person, it's pornography reenactment. I make a difference between sex and making love, as corny as it sounds. Making love to a woman you love is a spiritual act, one that connects the lovers into one being that communes with God trough their love. Sex is a luciferian alternative, which has destructive emotions of domination, violence, perversion etc. There's more and more violence in sexual relations now, as the antichrist comes nearer, all the perversions come out and get intensified. You have to understand the spiritual investment and effects of these relations on a human being, but that's an incredibly complex topic, which is not meant for a forum like this. Sex being so heavily propagated, advertised, people being shamed for not doing it, or choosing to delay it until marriage - this is all proof that you're supposed to avoid it. For the married members, I'd advise to have relations once per week at most and in a dark room. Focus on the intimacy and love (if there is any) and it's going to be an incredible act. Most married couples simulate pornography daily and then they wonder why they are tired of each other after a couple of years. Orthodox Jews have marriage consultants, which advise the couples on matters of love, sexuality etc., in more detail than most Orthodox Christian Clergymen do, it's valuable to investigate it.

There are many other practices, but they wouldn't be classified as Christian, so I won't include them. The point is, you have to implement conscious, disciplined effort in order to release yourself from the physical, emotional and mental cage that you made for yourself and it will take effort. Don't expect it to go away by itself, sexual energy will accumulate and if not transformed, it can and will eventually corrupt you. That's how some Priests or Monks, who were sincere Christians, end up as homosexuals, pedophiles or perverts. It happens in all religions. Do not underestimate this, you need to transform or release this energy properly - making love with your wife is the only choice for Christians, there are other, controversial methods as well, but you can explore that by yourself.

I have to say that I do harbor hatred, despite knowing better, and sometimes wish death and ruination to the pornography producers and company owners and their families. I hope God's Holy Spirit pierces their heart and mind, so they can stop doing evil and ruin so many lives, but if not, may they burn in hell. Pornography should be banned and prison sentences for producing it and putting it into circulation should be draconic.

When talking with your friends, colleagues or anyone, if the topic arises, please don't let them talk about pornography as something normal and relativize it, joke about it etc., speak up about how evil and demonic it is, in a tactical, diplomatic, factual manner, don't overreact.

May God help us all with our struggles, we all have many demons to subdue and defeat, I hope my writing help someone defeat the demons of lust and perversion.

Amen.
 

newcomer

Robin
Orthodox Inquirer
Yeah, just the thought of every citizen of Heaven, and Theotokos, Our Holy Mother in particular, watching you and weeping for you when you do this stuff helps me to stay away from it.
 

Trewolla

Woodpecker
Protestant
At the risk of sounding redundant, I think it's important to identify all of the Satanic influences which permeate out current society and steer clear of them. The easy availability of pornography is very definitely a Satanic influence. (It's becoming difficult to take inventory of western society and identify that which is not Satanic. Such is the world that we live in.)

As for myself, I've become somewhat of a recluse in order to not encounter the evil influences which permeate our society. I lack both the discipline and the spiritual strength to become a monk. But in recent years I've developed an understanding of the attraction monasticism affords. I find it interesting that monasticism experienced a surge following WW2. It seems that so many men were spiritually damaged by the events of combat during WW2 that many sought monasticism to repair their troubled souls.

I'm not RC, but recently read Thomas Merton's "The Seven Storey Mountain". It gives a lot of insight into why a fairly typical man would reach the point of seeking refuge in a Monastery. It was published in 1948.

I recommend it for any man who is working to cultivate a spiritual path regardless of the religious order that they have chosen.
 

Parmesan

Kingfisher
Other Christian
I've been a habitual porn user for a decade or so. I had sex with girls, but it would probably be fair to say that my idea of sex is masturbating to a screen.
I'm currently in my longest streak ever. I'm not exactly sure how long, but it's been probably around 45 days or so (i might've relapsed once or twice during this period, I honestly don't remember.) I've met this great girl so I didn't want to fap while we were together and therefore I've decided to stop watching porn.
But I was not prepared for the withdrawal symptoms.
For seemingly no reason whatsoever, couple of weeks into our relationship I got so depressed, anxious and absent minded that it become impossible for me to enjoy anything, let alone my time with her. I had this constant feeling of panic which I concretely felt as a never ending cramp in my solar plexus. I was also so absent minded that I just couldn't enjoy the moment, my thoughts were constantly somewhere else or I was just mindless, without any thought in my head but also not present.
I've also experienced ED while attempting to have sex with this girl (which I did reluctantly because even the thought or anticipation of sex couldn't get me excited).
I ended the relationship because I saw how confused and tormented the girl was because of what at the beginning looked as a intense desire from my side quickly became indifference at best, in such a short time. To be honest, I don't feel like being with her because she doesn't bring me any joy. When, on paper, she should. Nothing brings me joy actually. I have such feelings of hopelessness and despair. I can imagine now why some people turn to alcohol and drugs or even suicide when experiencing this state. It's frankly unbearable. I feel like breaking down in tears every day and in fact I do.
And I'm analyzing now why I got so severely in depression specifically at this moment in time, and It's got to be the withdrawal from porn. Porn probably fried my dopamine receptors with overstimulation and now everything seems so bland, boring and meaningless. What are your thoughts, has anyone experienced anything similar?
My experience dumping porn (after daily porn use for basically 20+ years), was a noticeable increase in libido, and waves of horniness that would last a couple weeks then seemingly drastically subside for a few more. If anything, I felt like I was less depressed, because I was actually kind of enjoying going in public more because my eye candy standards went from, “she has to be 18-25 and super hot”, to “the butt on that mom putting her kids in that mini van looks OK in those yoga pants”. I dunno, everyone is different, but I’m wondering it its the other way around, and your porn addiction was just part of a coping method to stave off your depression? That’s been the case for me, and I always retreat to super degenerate thoughts and actions when I get down on life and my mistakes.
 

Celibate Warrior21

Sparrow
Other Christian
Is it alright if I make this page sort of my personal journal and you guys be my supporters and accountability partners?

I relapsed again a few months ago and I haven't been able to get back in the bandwagon since. I'm currently in the Philippines and I get back in America Thanksgiving day, my longest streaks are in America.

?
 

infowarrior1

Crow
Protestant
I've been a habitual porn user for a decade or so. I had sex with girls, but it would probably be fair to say that my idea of sex is masturbating to a screen.
I'm currently in my longest streak ever. I'm not exactly sure how long, but it's been probably around 45 days or so (i might've relapsed once or twice during this period, I honestly don't remember.) I've met this great girl so I didn't want to fap while we were together and therefore I've decided to stop watching porn.
But I was not prepared for the withdrawal symptoms.
For seemingly no reason whatsoever, couple of weeks into our relationship I got so depressed, anxious and absent minded that it become impossible for me to enjoy anything, let alone my time with her. I had this constant feeling of panic which I concretely felt as a never ending cramp in my solar plexus. I was also so absent minded that I just couldn't enjoy the moment, my thoughts were constantly somewhere else or I was just mindless, without any thought in my head but also not present.
I've also experienced ED while attempting to have sex with this girl (which I did reluctantly because even the thought or anticipation of sex couldn't get me excited).
I ended the relationship because I saw how confused and tormented the girl was because of what at the beginning looked as a intense desire from my side quickly became indifference at best, in such a short time. To be honest, I don't feel like being with her because she doesn't bring me any joy. When, on paper, she should. Nothing brings me joy actually. I have such feelings of hopelessness and despair. I can imagine now why some people turn to alcohol and drugs or even suicide when experiencing this state. It's frankly unbearable. I feel like breaking down in tears every day and in fact I do.
And I'm analyzing now why I got so severely in depression specifically at this moment in time, and It's got to be the withdrawal from porn. Porn probably fried my dopamine receptors with overstimulation and now everything seems so bland, boring and meaningless. What are your thoughts, has anyone experienced anything similar?

You need to exercise. That's how others managed your feelings of withdrawal. That combined with an intermittent fasting schedule and eating well.

There is a good book on your symptoms:

That and the other recommendations in this thread.
 

infowarrior1

Crow
Protestant
3. Have proper perception and understanding of sexuality and love: A person does not need sexual pleasure, sexual pleasure with the absence of love is masturbating with a person, it's pornography reenactment. I make a difference between sex and making love, as corny as it sounds. Making love to a woman you love is a spiritual act, one that connects the lovers into one being that communes with God trough their love. Sex is a luciferian alternative, which has destructive emotions of domination, violence, perversion etc. There's more and more violence in sexual relations now, as the antichrist comes nearer, all the perversions come out and get intensified. You have to understand the spiritual investment and effects of these relations on a human being, but that's an incredibly complex topic, which is not meant for a forum like this. Sex being so heavily propagated, advertised, people being shamed for not doing it, or choosing to delay it until marriage - this is all proof that you're supposed to avoid it. For the married members, I'd advise to have relations once per week at most and in a dark room. Focus on the intimacy and love (if there is any) and it's going to be an incredible act.
Lust and Eros may bear similarities but they have distinct differences. Don't forget God designed the entirely of the sexual act but it didn't dominate the person or wasn't in any way perverted originally.

Even sexual pleasure was designed by God but was only meant to be confined to Wedlock. It isn't an inherent evil. And as you correctly say without Love it is Luciferian.

God incarnated as Man to redeem the Body not destroy it as the Gnostic Ascetics wish to do. And this is one aspect of the Body that is to be redeemed with the rest.

May God restore sexuality to its proper role and its original intent. Free from the corruption of Lust. Back into healthy Eroticism that great symphony and music of Love.
 
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