Fuck I need to give this thread another round for today. Those fucking emotions and feelings keep on coming back and with it the pain from earlier. I just want this stupid nagging pain in my heart to stop. Why the fuck couldn't she just have kept her damn word and waited for me? How the fuck can you just go off and agree to marry some dude after meeting him for one month? The fuck. These next five weeks are going to be hell for me, as I wonder what she's up to, if she's preparing for her wedding, etc. God damnit! I so need to get my ass down to vietnam soon so I could slay some new targets and take my mind off of this numbing pain. I keep on catching myself wanting to go check out her fb but I fight the urge. I still want to message her and ask her why did she agree to do it? But I can't take back my words now. I told her this would be the last time that we will talk.