The Official RVF No Contact Thread

destiny

Woodpecker
Fuck I need to give this thread another round for today. Those fucking emotions and feelings keep on coming back and with it the pain from earlier. I just want this stupid nagging pain in my heart to stop. Why the fuck couldn't she just have kept her damn word and waited for me? How the fuck can you just go off and agree to marry some dude after meeting him for one month? The fuck. These next five weeks are going to be hell for me, as I wonder what she's up to, if she's preparing for her wedding, etc. God damnit! I so need to get my ass down to vietnam soon so I could slay some new targets and take my mind off of this numbing pain. I keep on catching myself wanting to go check out her fb but I fight the urge. I still want to message her and ask her why did she agree to do it? But I can't take back my words now. I told her this would be the last time that we will talk.
 

General Stalin

Crow
Gold Member
sterlingarcher's thread here is a text book example of the mental side of how a bitch stays in your head. You get hung up leaving doors open in the false hope you can rekindle what you once had by "helping out" or "staying friends" or whatever rationale you can spin to it. Point is you can't be friends. Your either fucking her or your one of her orbiters. Which one do you want to be? If the relationship is over then it's over.
 

MMM

Kingfisher
So much wisdom in this thread. 

I just broke off with a probable BPD relationship of four years.  I'm feeling awful and guilty about doing it, but it is the best for both of us.  We've had prior breakups but got back together.  This one needs to stick.  I've gone no contact this time, explaining that we need to "rip the band aid off." 

It's tough, but it had to be done.  Otherwise,  it would be a barrage of verbal waterboarding - shame, guilt,  anger and insults; all in the name of "closure."  She is a master manipulator.  Fuck that noise.

As noted above: "You know, you try to end on a peaceful note with a woman but the road to hell is paved with good intentions."
 
@sterlingarcher

I have had the regret of dumping exes. Especialky my fiancee. But I will tell you, it will take a long time to believe this: but there are more than one girl in your life. She was not the only one, that could be the one. All of them could be the one. When you adopt an abundant mindset. You will start to realize that new opportunities are around the corner. Plow forward, don't look back. Women will never hesitate to drop a guy they lose respect for. Trying to wait around for them to realize how much you have to offer is waisted time. Your time and effort are worth more than gold. Spend the time on yourself and it will bring lots of higher quality women into your life.

Bang sluts...then you can lose the desire to pedestalize women
 

griffinmill

Kingfisher
3 months into no contact. It's been rough.

I started posting some business and non-business related posts on my Instagram this week after a hiatus and wouldn't you know today I receive a notification that my ex has liked a picture of me with a current plate.

I thought I had blocked her... but forgot about one of her other accounts.

It was very disarming.
 

Mig Picante

Woodpecker
Kish said:
John Cena is in need of this thread.


Wow. I have no idea who this guy is but as he breaks up and pours his heart out each of the womens' reaction around 5:12 is quite telling. The one on the left rolls her eyes and the one on the right looks at the other and smirks/pulls a face.

Keep your dignity.
 

Bienvenuto

Pelican
Gold Member
John Cena is gay, so gay that it would ruin his wrestling fan base if everyone knew.

Remember gay Tom Cruise's freak out on Oprah? All PR scripted and planned in advance.

Acting like heterosexual betas is all part of the plan.
 
Mig Picante said:
Kish said:
John Cena is in need of this thread.


Wow. I have no idea who this guy is but as he breaks up and pours his heart out each of the womens' reaction around 5:12 is quite telling. The one on the left rolls her eyes and the one on the right looks at the other and smirks/pulls a face.

Keep your dignity.

The one on the right has an askance expression basically the entire time.

I feel bad for that guy, but also...not.
 

Silver_Tube

Woodpecker
Gold Member
I was sent here after a recent thread in the newbie forum. I broke up with a 1.5 year LTR that I was living with.

My phone has been blowing up ever since. She has gone from being sad to angry. She says the way I left was shocking and disrespectful. I told her that a long protracted breakup would have been more painful, that I left in the best posssible manner I could come up with. She wants to talk more, says she has no support in her life to deal with her issues. I’m a little worried that she’ll show up at my job and start a scene if I don’t answer. Her opinion is that I left by surprise, that I betrayed her by not communicating about her emotional and mental issues before breaking up. I had, many times mentioned how out of control her tantrums were, I never threatened to end the relationship over them, but that should have been apparent.

I suspect it is time to initiate radio silence, do you agree.
 

griffinmill

Kingfisher
Silver_Tube said:
I was sent here after a recent thread in the newbie forum. I broke up with a 1.5 year LTR that I was living with.

My phone has been blowing up ever since. She has gone from being sad to angry. She says the way I left was shocking and disrespectful. I told her that a long protracted breakup would have been more painful, that I left in the best posssible manner I could come up with. She wants to talk more, says she has no support in her life to deal with her issues. I’m a little worried that she’ll show up at my job and start a scene if I don’t answer. Her opinion is that I left by surprise, that I betrayed her by not communicating about her emotional and mental issues before breaking up. I had, many times mentioned how out of control her tantrums were, I never threatened to end the relationship over them, but that should have been apparent.

I suspect it is time to initiate radio silence, do you agree.

Her post-breakup behaviour will die down sooner than you think. I wouldn't go total radio silence for now, but keep your contact with her minimal. Be supportive and caring, while also maintaining distance (a fine line, I admit). Do this until the madness subsides. Don't talk on the phone if you can help it, just text. Most girls will not carry out any threats, nor will they do crazy shit like causing a scene at your work, but only you know if she might be capable of such a thing. If she does, you'll need to be firm with her or/and contact the police.
 

egionesco

Sparrow
Mig Picante said:
Kish said:
John Cena is in need of this thread.


Wow. I have no idea who this guy is but as he breaks up and pours his heart out each of the womens' reaction around 5:12 is quite telling. The one on the left rolls her eyes and the one on the right looks at the other and smirks/pulls a face.

Keep your dignity.

This guy is pathetic, but I don't agree about the reaction. I think they are quite taken with his story and the eyeroll is not making fun of him, it's like eyerolling to heaven as if to say oh wow true love really exists. Also, this guy is ripped, good looking, and famous, he already has so much superficial alpha cred this is their dream: Turn a dude like that into a weeping, ruined mess. They are loving this, but they're not mocking him. They're in a romance novel.

Yes, this stuff dries girls up in a hurry and it's not what they really want, but it is what they think they want. They genuinely cry their eyes out to this crap in movies and books. Every woman thinks she wants to be loved like this (by some dude who is turning down every other woman on the planet on her knees in front of him just to hang out with her).
 

gomez556

Chicken
Probably the hardest to do

was in an LTR for almost 3 years, didn't realize it was toxic but had the classic "wife material" (cooking cleaning, South border mex woman) then boom altercation. Long story short year of basically probation for assault and every week we have to mention our ex and talk about it for 6 months in these counseling classes. one day best time christmas eve next day locked up christmas day and you lose your apartment and almost your job and potentially career.

its been difficult to get over because I get reminded of it every week and we did go on and off constantly for the past 2-3 months but seemed like she was trying to take control and my beta ass kept feeling like I messed up because I lost control.

last week we argued again and I was firm and no emotion then I told myself burn the bridge and lets just say she didn't exactly like that.

not sure exactly what to do at this point. I keep getting reminded of her.
 

Mig Picante

Woodpecker
gomez556 said:
last week we argued again and I was firm and no emotion then I told myself burn the bridge and lets just say she didn't exactly like that.

not sure exactly what to do at this point. I keep getting reminded of her.

Well done on making a decision about your future.

Not sure what strategy you can use about being reminded of her on a weekly basis. Being reminder of her is outside of your control.
What's in your control is whether you contact her or not and how you respond to her conflict. Understand that it doesn't mean you have to contact her though.

Get out there and find a new woman.
 

Roardog

Pelican
gomez556 said:
Probably the hardest to do

was in an LTR for almost 3 years, didn't realize it was toxic but had the classic "wife material" (cooking cleaning, South border mex woman) then boom altercation. Long story short year of basically probation for assault and every week we have to mention our ex and talk about it for 6 months in these counseling classes. one day best time christmas eve next day locked up christmas day and you lose your apartment and almost your job and potentially career.

its been difficult to get over because I get reminded of it every week and we did go on and off constantly for the past 2-3 months but seemed like she was trying to take control and my beta ass kept feeling like I messed up because I lost control.

last week we argued again and I was firm and no emotion then I told myself burn the bridge and lets just say she didn't exactly like that.

not sure exactly what to do at this point. I keep getting reminded of her.

So from what I'm reading you had a fight with you girlfriend on Christmas day, beat her up, got arrested and are now on probation for assault?
And after all of that she is still talking to you?

I don't know which of you is dumber.
 

gomez556

Chicken
Roardog said:
gomez556 said:
Probably the hardest to do

was in an LTR for almost 3 years, didn't realize it was toxic but had the classic "wife material" (cooking cleaning, South border mex woman) then boom altercation. Long story short year of basically probation for assault and every week we have to mention our ex and talk about it for 6 months in these counseling classes. one day best time christmas eve next day locked up christmas day and you lose your apartment and almost your job and potentially career.

its been difficult to get over because I get reminded of it every week and we did go on and off constantly for the past 2-3 months but seemed like she was trying to take control and my beta ass kept feeling like I messed up because I lost control.

last week we argued again and I was firm and no emotion then I told myself burn the bridge and lets just say she didn't exactly like that.

not sure exactly what to do at this point. I keep getting reminded of her.

So from what I'm reading you had a fight with you girlfriend on Christmas day, beat her up, got arrested and are now on probation for assault?
And after all of that she is still talking to you?

I don't know which of you is dumber.
oh trust me I told myself wtf was I thinking, I made a bad judgement call that night. I won't say beat up more of took her to ground because she started hitting me. What sucks is I get reminded of it every week with my classes im ordered to take. Ups and downs of that relationship and I had to have contact for a while too because of my stuff and the apartment lease.
 

gomez556

Chicken
Mig Picante said:
gomez556 said:
last week we argued again and I was firm and no emotion then I told myself burn the bridge and lets just say she didn't exactly like that.

not sure exactly what to do at this point. I keep getting reminded of her.

Well done on making a decision about your future.

Not sure what strategy you can use about being reminded of her on a weekly basis. Being reminder of her is outside of your control.
What's in your control is whether you contact her or not and how you respond to her conflict. Understand that it doesn't mean you have to contact her though.

Get out there and find a new woman.

yeah I been getting my priorities together and seeing other women, almost 3 years caused a big roadblock in my life. You are right though that is out of my control.
 
Personally I still contact my ex every 3-4 months. I send her a dick pic or asshole vulgarities once in a while just to piss her off. After we broke up (because I cheated on her) I used to cry like a baby about how inhuman I had been to her and she was so perfect and nice to me. Now with time I understand she was probably planning to move on anyway and texting other guys. What "broke her heart" was probably that I was the first to make a move and initiate the breakup. She was very vicious with me as she made sure to be the perfect girl to me until the end of our relationship. So that now I am having trouble finding someone of her level. I understand her strategy very clearly now. +100 lays later and still nothing worth her.
 

kross1989

Sparrow
I posted this in game but was told I should of posted in here. ok me and megan met at a bar through a mutual friend she was a little flirty nothing crazy. Didnt think anything of it. fast forward we meet again and we get a little flirtier. after that I took her on a bus to an event to which she was immediately holding my hand when she got drunk and all crowded up on me. Not sexually but almost like a little girl and her dad type thing in a way. As weird as that sounds. we slept at my buddies house because she wanted to leave so bad but she was wasted so I didn't let her drive. The entire time she wanted her "Fuzzy blanket at her place. I tried to kiss her but a peck is all I got then she she quickly made out with me and said I shouldn't of done that I shouldn't of done that. Next day I take her home and she kisses me goodbye. week later I'm like me and you are going out. she didn't respond for 2 days then said sorry I'm having family issues what day is good for you. I said Friday. we went out had a good time and she finally made out with me and I fingered her a little but she pulled my hand away immediately. After that we hung out for 2 months almost every weekend and week. I would sleep over she would sleep over etc. I mentioned myrtle beach and she said I wanna go I wanna go let's go. Me being an idiot was like ok late go so I booked the trip. we hung out for another month everything was fine until one day supposedly got a new roommate and told me get used to them taking me out alot. I laughed and said what do I have to book you to take you out. Week later her texts got shortttt. she responded a few days after one text and said sorry had a family emergency and have been stressed out. in her lame ass defense her brother did get busted with heroin. I said to make you feel better I'll take you out Friday to take your mind off it. she said sure I'll let you know. I then said you ready for myrtle beach?! it was scheduled for that sat 2 months ago. Friday rolls around and I get nothing. i had already went out with my boys and got drunk and like an idiot texted her hey saying no would be easier then standing me up dude. this was about 2 months ago and I have gotten absolutly 0 response from this girl. like she wont even view my stories on snapchat wont respond to anyone who even knows me. comptely and utterly ghosted the shit out of me. I actually saw her at a bar and she was so discombobulated from seeing me she was stuttering talking to her friend. I danced with her friend a few songs in front of her to which she kept getting closer and closer to us. I eventually walked up at the end of the night and said look it's all good let's out this behind us. to which she looked at me and said I'm so trashe right now. I just walked away. havent spoken to her or reached out since. I really liked this chick and her ghosting me messed with my headspace so much. in person she was the sweetest most innocent acting girl ever.
 
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