The Official RVF No Contact Thread

Scooby6987 said:
I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

You fucking idiot. She is getting cream pied every morning and the only time she texted you was because she was alone after being pumped and dumped for the umpteenth time, and still high on drugs and emotional... and you're an emotional tampon.

Your loss for not banging her and choosing to get into dumb conversations about the dead relationship. You're soft. You fucking pussy. Shit or get off the pot. Either bang her or block her once and for all!

The relationship itself is dead, it's over and it won't be the same even if you tried.


Did that help?

:)
 
JackinMelbourne said:
Scooby6987 said:
I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

You fucking idiot. She is getting cream pied every morning and the only time she texted you was because she was alone after being pumped and dumped for the umpteenth time, and still high on drugs and emotional... and you're an emotional tampon.

Your loss for not banging her and choosing to get into dumb conversations about the dead relationship. You're soft. You fucking pussy. Shit or get off the pot. Either bang her or block her once and for all!

The relationship itself is dead, it's over and it won't be the same even if you tried.


Did that help?

:)

In a fucked up way, yes. Yes it did!
 
Struggling and almost sent a text. Looked at my exes social media, saw her thotting it up and partying with her crew (see my previous posts above). I don’t know why it bothers me so much. She just looked so hot and I miss the bitch, even though she’s a dirty club slut.

Social media is a killer because you only see the good. I just have to get out of that scarcity mindset. Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but I’d rather post here than break no co tact.
 

questor70

Ostrich
My "stage 5 clinger" ex contacted me yet again Friday night. The pattern with these on again off agains is she attaches herself to the first guy who goes out with her and these guys, almost invariably, turn out to be mediocre or outright dysfunctional in the bedroom. So after a while she reaches out to me as if I'm her therapist to ask whether she should dump the guy, and of course, if she does dump him, then she knows she can enjoy a round of rebound sex before she ventures out again. And I'd be fine with that if she didn't always try to lock me down each time.

The difference is this time she wanted to cuck her fiance by cheating with me because he's mediocre in bed. She didn't come out and proposition me directly, but she was testing the waters in a way that made it clear that her conscience wouldn't have bothered her, so it was a pretty red-pill moment. Women have a laundry list of things they want to get from men and, push comes to shove, they have no problem taking a piece from one guy and a different piece from another. Sure, I could be opportunistic, but the fact is that unethical behavior like this turns me off. This was a woman I initially thought looked wholesome and pure. So these sorts of things are red pill moments.

Anyway, I encouraged her to teach him how to be a better lover, which was not the sort of response she was after. She basically wanted to get off on some sexting before going home (she's cohabitating with him). But I am not intentionally throwing fuel on that fire.

I'm 48 so I have to deal with older women, and I know quite a bit now about the mindset of women over 40. They are in sort of a perpetual state of panic about maximizing what they can still get out of their depreciating assets. They still want it all, but they can't have it, and that is what tears them up inside.

So it's kind of flattering that she keeps missing the sex with me, but I'm hoping she sticks it out with this guy, because odds are, he's the best she can get, and her leverage is going down like sands in the hourglass.
 

Mig Picante

Woodpecker
Literally no idea why you keep posting that your ex contacts you and you continue reply, of all places in the no contact thread.

The simplest explanation I can come up with is that it makes you feel good and broadcasting this to other people also makes you feel good.

Stop replying.

You are holding yourself back.
 

Bienvenuto

Pelican
Gold Member
Scooby6987 said:
Struggling and almost sent a text. Looked at my exes social media, saw her thotting it up and partying with her crew (see my previous posts above). I don’t know why it bothers me so much. She just looked so hot and I miss the bitch, even though she’s a dirty club slut.

Social media is a killer because you only see the good. I just have to get out of that scarcity mindset. Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but I’d rather post here than break no co tact.

Questor - block all social media and messaging apps.

Scooby - block all social media and messaging apps.
 

Mrredsquare

Woodpecker
Mrredsquare said:
Hey fellas, looking for some advice from more experienced men on my current situation.

Just ended things with a girl i was seeing for around 6 month, i was honest from the start on how things would go and I wasn't looking for a relationship of any kind. She agreed and wanted to become fuck buddies and me teach her how to be a woman (which i did a good job of i think) she is mid 20's I'm early 40's.

But she started to fall in love and became jealous and clingy with constant texting like girls do. So i ended things a few nights ago in person on the best terms i could. I did it for her sake, I've blocked her on all types of communication because i know she'll just continue to reach out to me.

The tricky part is that we're in the same social circle and i can see she's crushed, heartbroken and been constantly crying. She messaged a mutual friend and wants to chat one last time about something (probably wanting closure).

I care for this girl and hate to see her upset. Is there anything i could say to make her feel better or is it just a waste of time and energy?

So i didn't take the advice given to me and went back and gave this girl another chance a couple of weeks after this post.

Iv'e had some advice off a highly repped member over PM but thought I'd post here to learn from the experience.

Anyway things we're going good, she asked me to be her "boyfriend" over the holiday period to which i agreed playfully.

Long story short, i cut all other women from my life (mistake?) and we hung out more than usual and feelings got involved. We never said the 3 magic words but we probably should have.

After new year a few reg flags popped up from her, causing drama and having a meltdown over it when caught lying. Throwing things back in my face after she helped me with a few personnel favours (to which she offered beforehand).

The final straw was a few weeks back she's been giving "guy friends lifts" late at night to which I'm obviously against.

I know she's an attention whore but I'm wondering if it was my failure to tell her the 3 magic words that led her to find another "boyfriend material guy"?

Apologies for the rant and any advice/criticism welcome.
 

Mig Picante

Woodpecker
This is the No Contact thread, not the oneitis thread.

You got back in touch and it didn't work. She's got multiple options and you're the one posting about her on the net.

"i was honest from the start on how things would go and I wasn't looking for a relationship of any kind."

Do you guys ever read what you post?
 

Mrredsquare

Woodpecker
Mig Picante said:
This is the No Contact thread, not the oneitis thread.

You got back in touch and it didn't work. She's got multiple options and you're the one posting about her on the net.

"i was honest from the start on how things would go and I wasn't looking for a relationship of any kind."

Do you guys ever read what you post?

You're right man. I just wanted to post here to hold myself responsible with the no contact rule.
 
Scooby6987 said:
I’m struggling with no contact and thought best to post to you guys rather than send any more texts.

Long story short, before A couple of months ago I caught my ex who was living with me (dated for two years, I paid the rent due to some circumstances I won’t get into) in some lies where she said she was asleep when she was really out at a friends in the middle of the night when I was out of town. She then pulled some seriously disrespectful shit and I ended up throwing her out of my house and breaking up with her.

I’m talking literally bagging up and throwing her stuff out. She started partying like crazy after the breakup, and is now in with a group of people who are club promoters, club girls, etc. and is in the scene now, so to speak. She’s one of those super hot chicks who can kinda get into any club for free, etc. and she’s taking full advantage. I’m in a big US city with a major nightlife scene.

Anyway, I went no contact for a couple weeks. But I gave in and saw her when she texted me she was by my house. I told her wanted to get back with her. Huge mistake, I know. She then Went on about how I deeply hurt her by kicking her out, said I should’ve tried to talk things out with her aince we’d been together for two years, all this shit, trying to flip it around on me.

Anyway, It all culminated with me sending her a horribly mean text, saying all her club friends are trash, the people she hangs out with are toxic, she’s living a fucked up life since the breakup, I really went in. She obviously hates me after that and after yelling at me we haven’t spoken since.

I know this girl is all wrong for me. But I’m finding it so hard not to text her and apologize, say I want another chance, all the typical things my logical brain knows I shouldn’t do.

I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

Successfully completed two weeks of no contact! I feel like an addict who wants to get a sobriety chip...
 

realologist

Ostrich
Gold Member
Good.

Have you deleted her number, deleted her off social media, etc?

It's always easy to just remember the good times when you see a chick's social media because rarely people post about bad times going in their life and it's easy contact them. The number. That's self explanatory.

Get some new damn pussy too. That always helps.
 
Stay strong, brother.

Don't fall for her bullshit ever again and don't make up with her. Such behavior on her part is unacceptable and could only get worse - a GF who goes out clubbing without telling you has no respect for you and would probably cheat on you.

Just smash 10 others and you'll wonder how did you ever even think about getting back to her.
 
There is a woman who I knew through social circle and was trying to monkey branch to me when our marriages were crumbling. Well I didn't choose her and she has tried to "paint me black" for the last 3 years. After one of her outbursts I blocked her on all social media, and I called her out on her shit when she painted me unfavorably in a group. I do not respond to any of her actions or comments in the group

She lives in the same city as the woman I've been seeing for the last 3 years. I don't believe they know each other. I've been worried she would speak ill of me to my woman. Now that time has gone by, I'm hoping she has other things to focus on.

Here is the situation. In 10 days, I will be going to a store where she works to rent Snowshoes. They are the only source of rental snowshoes, and i'm trying to determine how I play it if these two women meet.

What if she makes a comment painting me in a bad light?
What if she tries to befriend my woman and undermine my image?
Most of all I'm worried that she might portray me as a friend, and my woman will ask why I've never told her about this strange woman up the street....


How do you handle this?
 

Gradient

Kingfisher
Fuck This said:
There is a woman who I knew through social circle and was trying to monkey branch to me when our marriages were crumbling. Well I didn't choose her and she has tried to "paint me black" for the last 3 years. After one of her outbursts I blocked her on all social media, and I called her out on her shit when she painted me unfavorably in a group. I do not respond to any of her actions or comments in the group

She lives in the same city as the woman I've been seeing for the last 3 years. I don't believe they know each other. I've been worried she would speak ill of me to my woman. Now that time has gone by, I'm hoping she has other things to focus on.

Here is the situation. In 10 days, I will be going to a store where she works to rent Snowshoes. They are the only source of rental snowshoes, and i'm trying to determine how I play it if these two women meet.

What if she makes a comment painting me in a bad light?
What if she tries to befriend my woman and undermine my image?
Most of all I'm worried that she might portray me as a friend, and my woman will ask why I've never told her about this strange woman up the street....


How do you handle this?

This is the "No Contact Thread" not the "I Have No Frame (Inner or External)" thread.
 

Kentemo

Robin
Gold Member
Ok, will stop contacting this girl (and be to needy over whatsapp in general).

I feel my live with girls could probably be summarized:

1)I really like a girl, I CARE TO MUCH, I text a lot, become a bit needy ---> Easiest way to lose all attraction from her part (I do this unintentionally, it's a bit of a problem. At least now I know it's there).

2) I don't care that much, there is interest, they engage, ask questions about my life. Need to take action or contact fades away, or they move to the first category.

Anyway, just texted this girl yesterday ''I am going to visit your country, booked my tickets'' and her reply was ''how good''. Then I asked ''are you angry or something'' (never ask this, I know), and she says no. So it's just disinterest. Going to stop texting her, and see if she replies. If not, all is good. It's been a learning experience.
 
Posted on here about a month ago...officially made it one month with no contact! It’s tough no doubt, but honestly after the first week it became a hell of a lot easier.

A good trick ive done is put all the negative things about your ex into a note in your phone. When you get tempted to text, call, or look at social media...just read that and it’ll dissuade you and the moment will pass.

Stay strong guys.
 

tomzestatlu

Kingfisher
So recently I have met with my ex few times, my last LTR that ended 1 year and 4 months ago.
At first I wanted to meet her, because I missed her, of course. But I guess it´s real purpose is now to asure myself I don´t need her.
First two things that came to my mind: she´s gained weight and she is 25 now, too old. She´s not fat, but her body was something I loved about her, especially skinny long legs and now you see fat on her legs and hands and she´s far from what she has been before. She was a lot of into sports and was very adventurous and yesterday, when we met, she was bitching how difficult it was to climb up some not so big hill and how she almost died. And what was the worst - she was defending her looks and laziness all the time, without being it even a topic of a conversation.
We agreed on going on a walk and I was hungry, so I told her I will just grab some fastfood to my hands and eat it while we walk and she told me she wants to it too and wanted to go to some restaurant. That reminded me another thing. She wasn´t okay with money and she probably still isn´t and even though she eats at restauants. At least she paid for herself.

No contact is being said as only option in this thread, but actually contact with "who she did become" helps me a lot realize, that I am not missing anything.
 

griffinmill

Kingfisher
I went NC with an ex who broke my heart in March of 2018.

There were many close calls, particularly when she was stalking my IG with a fake account and when her birthday was approaching, but I stayed strong and didn't reach out.

Now, after all these months, I'm so thankful I didn't flatter her ego with any attempt at communication. Your dignity is important here, guys.

Stay strong.
 
Top