The Old Ways of Traditional Womanhood

[Kitty Tantrum]

This could be a clip, tie, headband, bobby pins, anything.

I dunno... I can take "anything" pretty literally...

 

[Starlight]

Recently I have been thinking more about my Grandmother, my German Oma. She never sat down for typical at home family meals. She would serve everyone, then stand at the door to the kitchen taking part in the conversation and getting us anything we needed/ seconds.

I was thinking about this post as I was getting dinner ready this evening and it dawned on me that the reason the woman (mom) of the house waits to eat is because the men and children need to be fed first otherwise all hell breaks loose. Women can generally wait to eat but when a man’s gotta eat or a kid’s gotta eat... well then you feed them... or else! Lol

 

[Leeloo]

My mother also taught me that girls should always wear something in their hair. Loose hair probably means she is an immodest woman. I think it looks very neat and classy when there is something in a woman's hair. This could be a clip, tie, headband, bobby pins, anything.

I like this piece of advice. It’s a simple thing, but she’s right in that it does go a long way towards looking just a bit more put together!

 

[honey flame]

Yes! It's such a simple piece of advice but I really think it makes a huge difference. To me it just says "I'm a lady".

It's kind of like how a person stands. If a person is walking around with shoulders slightly hunched, people will think that person is shy, not confident, or secretive. If they just straightened up their shoulders a bit however, they would transform into a person that appeared confident, respected, and they would look more attractive. Simply by moving your body by a few inches!

 

[Virginiahousewife]

This isn't much, but I do remember my grandmother once being aghast at how nonchalant my mother was at the idea of not having dinner ready for my father as soon as he got home. She'd get it ready when she got it ready. In comparison to my mother, my grandmother seemed to live to keep house.

Women in my family (both sides) were competent enough cooks but really weren't that good at it. My own interest in food & recipes mostly came from boredom and a desire to try dishes that we weren't well-off enough to buy at a nice restaurant.

This small act is under rated. My husband works hard to provide for us and the least I can do is provide delicious nutritious meals daily without fail. I love making his favorites, including making him breakfasts that are healthy and quick to pop in the microwave or ready to go so he has something with his coffee first thing if I don’t make it up in time. I love packing his lunch too. I feel great sadness for the husbands and especially children who are not cared for in this way. It seems a very sad thing for a child to be without.

 

[Starlight]

This small act is under rated. My husband works hard to provide for us and the least I can do is provide delicious nutritious meals daily without fail. I love making his favorites, including making him breakfasts that are healthy and quick to pop in the microwave or ready to go so he has something with his coffee first thing if I don’t make it up in time. I love packing his lunch too. I feel great sadness for the husbands and especially children who are not cared for in this way. It seems a very sad thing for a child to be without.

I agree with this so much. I’ve made my husband lunch nearly everyday for 14 years. As Head of Nutritional Services in our house, I have banned fast food and the majority of junk food which means that if I want my husband and kids to eat healthy, I am the one responsible to make that happen. Also, if you’re a SAHM and not making your husband lunch, get your butt out of bed and make him a sandwich. It takes literally less than 5 minutes and he’ll think of you during his lunch break.

 

[Leeloo]

Yes! It's such a simple piece of advice but I really think it makes a huge difference. To me it just says "I'm a lady".

It's kind of like how a person stands. If a person is walking around with shoulders slightly hunched, people will think that person is shy, not confident, or secretive. If they just straightened up their shoulders a bit however, they would transform into a person that appeared confident, respected, and they would look more attractive. Simply by moving your body by a few inches!

Yes! Posture is so overlooked these days. There was a reason people used to practice walking with books on their heads!

I used to pore over and be fascinated by my mother’s etiquette books she used to have to study to be a ‘modern’ downtown secretary in the 60’s-70’s.

 

[Kitty Tantrum]

Also, if you’re a SAHM and not making your husband lunch, get your butt out of bed and make him a sandwich.

I consider myself pretty darn lucky that my husband comes home for lunch nearly every day! I guess I take it for granted, it didn't even occur to me until I read this, that it's probably pretty unusual. Dinner time is variable, but he keeps a tighter schedule for lunch, so it's pretty easy to have something ready for him. Today it was a big plate of BBQ (pulled pork and brisket) and coleslaw. And a peach Italian soda. I also cook him breakfast pretty much every morning, and prepare his coffee (usually a cappuccino, sometimes an Americano). I dunno. I LIKE cooking for my husband. It's hard for me to wrap my head around exactly how "old fashioned" that makes me by most standards.

He likes me more than money.

 

[infowarrior1]

Meanwhile the empowering alternative to Traditional Womanhood:

 

[CDRhodes]

My grandma is Newfoundland Irish and still around. She’s slowing down and has some dementia now but what a lady she was in her prime. Her husband died and left her with five young children. She got a job and raised her kids in a foreign country with no family around and still managed to drag them to mass on the regular. To this day she has never even been on a date with another man, let alone remarried.
Her homemade bread is the stuff of legends and her toutons were divine. She hated my ex wife (good instincts there) and was overjoyed when I “finally brought home a good Catholic girl”.
Best recent story: dementia has removed some of her filters lately-she called the attendant at circle K a “whore” (to her face) for having her work shirt unbuttoned to the point where some bra was visible.

 

[Kitty Tantrum]

Ahhh, and today I am at last forcefully reminded of THAT OTHER THING that has also always been my job: tax preparation and filing. This year I got to learn about asset depreciation (I had my own small business once upon a time, but all my equipment was small and inexpensive).

OF COURSE, taxation being theft and all that, this is not specifically relevant to Traditional Womanhood. It's part of a broader principle, though: never needlessly outsource anything you can do as well or better yourself.

 

[Starlight]

Meanwhile the empowering alternative to Traditional Womanhood:

I want to laugh at this but it’s more sad than funny, really. (Western) Men had worked so hard so that their women could have an easier more comfortable life and it’s all been thrown away.

 

[infowarrior1]

Ahhh, and today I am at last forcefully reminded of THAT OTHER THING that has also always been my job: tax preparation and filing. This year I got to learn about asset depreciation (I had my own small business once upon a time, but all my equipment was small and inexpensive).

OF COURSE, taxation being theft and all that, this is not specifically relevant to Traditional Womanhood. It's part of a broader principle, though: never needlessly outsource anything you can do as well or better yourself.

Outsourcing parenting has dire consequences:


It is deceptively called "childcare" which conflates it with the women not outsourcing said childcare to others. But the effects are negative.

 

[honey flame]

Yes! Posture is so overlooked these days. There was a reason people used to practice walking with books on their heads!

I used to pore over and be fascinated by my mother’s etiquette books she used to have to study to be a ‘modern’ downtown secretary in the 60’s-70’s.

I should try walking with a book on my head and see how well I do! And I love old-fashioned books about etiquette, recipes, homemaking, etc. Etiquette, unfortunately, is not being taught at home as much as it used to.

 

[Vigilant]

I had three grandmas. My biological maternal grandma died when I was a baby. She was a mother to five; a homemaker as far as I know.
My paternal grandma (Ouma) I don't remember too much since she lives in South Africa. I do remember her coming to visit and reading every night before bed. When I asked what she was reading, she said, "My Bible", in her Afrikaaner accent. She was a mother to six and a homemaker as well. She is a month away from her 98th birthday. She remained faithfully married to my Oupa until his death.
My maternal grandpa remarried, and that lady was who I grew up with as "Grandma" on my mom's side. She was a very kind lady who only had one child with her late husband; so when she married Grandpa, she gladly took on his family and all his grandkids. I remember staying the night at her house and her jigsaw puzzles that she kept for when grandkids came over. I thought that was fun. She sent me a birthday card with ten dollars every birthday... even after I became an adult... until she passed away.

A wise woman is not someone who knows all the answers; a wise woman is one who knows how to ask the correct questions.
A wise woman is not one who has no problems in her life; a wise woman is one who knows the first stop is prayer and begging the Lord's assistance.
A wise woman is not someone without inconsistencies in her life; a wise woman understands that she needs outside counsel (and not over share, making her vulnerable to be profiled) to help her identify areas where her practice of faith doesn't match her confession of faith.
- a wise woman once said.

 

[christie2]

My main influence for traditional femininity came from reading historical fiction like little house on the prairie. My paternal grandmother is not very warm and motherly. She very much pushed gender norms for us grandkids, and didn't like that I wasn't into shopping and clothes. My maternal grandmother is very warm and motherly, but she was not the "ideal" mother to her children. She is a better Grandmom than mother. Perhaps because she's had time to reflect on her mistakes and do things differently. My Ukrainian great grandma, Baba, was a strong, traditional woman. She upheld moral standards in her house and was loving. She cooked and served her family. Not that she wasn't a lady, but she worked hard on the family farm, so I see her as a very strong woman almost like the pioneers. My mother always looked up to her as a role model.

+1 on the Little House series; nearly every day I think of some moral or Godly lesson taught in those books.

 

[Viktor Zeegelaar]

The intention of this thread is to post rememberances, memories, things you’ve read/ seen/ heard of that women used to do to embrace their traditional womanhood.

Recently I have been thinking more about my Grandmother, my German Oma. She never sat down for typical at home family meals. She would serve everyone, then stand at the door to the kitchen taking part in the conversation and getting us anything we needed/ seconds. As a child I never really considered this strange, ok maybe as I became an Americanized kid I noticed it more, but I thought other Oma’s surely did the same thing. She took such pride in preparing for us and serving us. Pride her home, her garden, and her family. Serving us was what made her comfortable.

Only now do I realize how unusual this was. I am struck by the beauty of such submissive self sacrifice. Perhaps this came from living in a war torn country, serving your family first so you can make sure they have enough to eat. Has anyone else seen this before? Anyone else’s grandma do this?

My own mother was not a great example of traditional womanhood. Thinking more about the ways of the real women, the strong traditional women going back an extra generation seems like a good example to follow.

In what ways did your grandmother embrace her role as mother and caregiver? Please share here so that we may contemplate their wisdom. How did your Grandma care for you?

Love the story. Remembers me too of my Niederländische oma. The deterioration came with our parents. They were swiped away by the culture and bought into it. I think now, what will this generation become who are under even more fierce mind control than we were as young children, and in line with what you wrote will never see traditional woman/menhood that was represented in our grandparents, the last traditional generation. Children of now only have their phone, tictoc and Cardi B as examples. They have no avenue to look into history. It's gonna be a tragedy for most youngsters, especially secular but also religious, who will suffer for the lies they've been told and the materialistic secular lifestyle they're put on. Only great suffering can bring them to sources like this forum in order to find the truth, but few will get there and will be willing to suffer the cognitive dissonance that comes with untangling every thought and realizing all you've been told from your birth on by the culture has been a lie.

 

[Virginiahousewife]

VZ, you’re so right and it’s so sad. So many kids will never know what could be, what should be. The juxtaposition between my feminist career obsessed boomer mom and my grandmother, and my friends SAHMs definitely had a major impact on me. Hopefully there will be enough of a remnant that carries the torch for more to see and it keeps growing. Hoping to be that Titus 2 woman.