The Star Wars thread

scorpion

Hummingbird
Gold Member
I hadn't intended on seeing this but ended up with a ticket from a friend.

It was just a bad movie. The script was horrendous. I have no idea how these people can be so utterly bereft of talent and vision when they're working at this level. Simply atrocious and inexcusable. It was better than The Last Jedi only in the sense that there was less obvious PC/SJW bullshit being pushed. But from a pure film-making perspective it was worse. It just jumped from scene to scene. No character development or motivations. Plot holes everywhere. Continuity with the previous movies almost non-existent. Egregious ret-conning.

This entire trilogy was one of the biggest missed opportunities in the history of cinema. It could have easily ended up earning at least double whatever it ultimately ends up taking in. The finale should have been bigger than Avengers: Endgame in terms of fan excitement and box office draw. I agree with Towgunner's take that they screwed up from the get-go by making the character of Rey the center of the story. The Grrl power thing just doesn't work as a hero archetype. She's unrelatable and unlikeable for both men and women. They just couldn't resist the lure of having a female hero though.

More than anything it's just pathetic. You could assign a theoretical Star Wars conclusion trilogy as a writing assignment in any film school in the country and I guarantee you in every single classroom you would have multiple rough draft script ideas that were superior to what Disney ended up making.

The Force Awakens - meh at best
The Last Jedi - got woke, went broke
The Rise of Skywalker - the worst script of all 9 films

That's the trilogy. That's what they concluded the Star Wars saga with, after having all the resources of Lucasfilm and Disney at their disposal. It's just like...what the fuck? How is it even possible to fuck up that badly when you're starting out with the most valuable and lore-rich IP in movie history? It's like if someone handed you a couple pounds of ground beef, some shredded cheese and taco shells and told you to make tacos. But then you throw the ingredients in the trash and just take a shit in the frying pan instead. Fucking incompetent morons. They had everything they needed. You could basically paint-by-numbers a halfway decent Star Wars film, and with some effort a great one should have been well-within reach. But we ended up with one mediocre film and two absolute shitshows in this trilogy.

Hopefully Kathleen Kennedy and the others involved in this debacle are given their walking papers. A great director and writer will be needed to re-establish the franchise over the coming years. The success of The Mandalorian demonstrates that it's really not hard to tell good stories using the Star Wars IP. These people just need to stop shooting themselves in the foot with their progressive politics and general incompetence.
 

CynicalContrarian

Owl
Gold Member
Best Rape Of Skywalker review out there :

Rise Of Skywalker: The Babylon Bee Review

We sit in the theatre, waiting, the air thick with anticipation and the smell of popcorn and broken dreams. There aren't that many people, surprisingly. A few superfans are dressed up as obscure alien characters we don't recognize.
The movie comes on. It is a confusing CGI spectacle. The plot is unclear. We wonder why God has unleashed this vengeance upon us. We toss someone overboard to see if that appeases His wrath. It does not. More CGI comes on screen. It is a colorful vomit of characters with silly names, dramatic speeches about nothing, and lots of singing and dancing.
And fur. So much fur.
It is then we realize we're in the wrong theatre, watching Cats with a bunch of furries. We rush down the hall and into the right theatre as they hiss at us.
Then, it finally comes onscreen: STAR WARS! The opening crawl appears: "People who thought The Last Jedi was a masterpiece: Leave this theater now." This crawl sets the tone for the rest of the movie. From Rey looking at the camera and saying, "Hey, guys, sorry about that last one" to JJ Abrams making a cameo appearance where he pushes Rian Johnson down a reactor shaft, the movie is full of subtle winks and nods that Disney is disavowing The Last Jedi. It feels cheap for them to change direction, almost design-by-committee, but then again, it was The Last Jedi.
Things happen on the screen. The space wizards have laser sword battles. Some things explode with deafening booms in space, Neil deGrasse Tyson be darned...


https://babylonbee.com/news/rise-of-skywalker-the-babylon-bee-review
 
Dissecting the crappy movie piece by piece:


Nice cuts of interviews proving that Juju only brought back the emperor while already in the middle of the filming of this abomination. He probably couldn't think of anything else that would get enough member-berries running. And since he is an incompetent hack, Disney Lucasfilm is filled with incompetent marxist women for backup, then no surprise.
 

Leonard D Neubache

Owl
Gold Member
Personally I'm with PPT in that I don't really understand this "writing team" thing.

Writing is hard enough but most of the people here could come up with a viable story and write it passably to the extent that a storyboard team could get to work on it.

Now personally I can't see how that gets any easier whatsoever with the addition of extra people. At best I would run it like an auction. "You ten people each give me your best script and I'll choose the winner". But a collaboration? I have to wonder if it's part of the insanity that corporate indoctrination creates where true-believers organise endless meetings in the actual belief that it results in better outcomes rather than simply spreading the blame for failure a little thinner at the end of the day. I mean, this is a movie, not a workshop designed to give cubicle drones the misguided sense that their opinions matter in order to squeeze more of their souls out than they'd otherwise volunteer before quitting or hanging themselves.

Now if I were running that shitshow (and had to cater to the diversity nonsense) I'd find a talented writer and give the whole project over to him. Reasonably speaking this is not a far fetched prospect. One of the hardest parts of writing good fiction is making it engaging and enjoyably readable which a script writer doesn't really even have to worry about. The script writer doesn't have to wonder if dedicating an entire page to describing a particular starship is going to leave readers wanting more details or falling asleep while hoping for a return to character interaction. Because it's a movie. The starship is just there. The writer doesn't have to do much except add footnotes to the scene about any important details that have to be made apparent (ie: this ship has blast marks all over it for reasons that will be revealed later, pg194)

After getting someone talented to write the script, THEN I would get my diversity wahmens writing team and give them an overview of the story line I theoretically wanted. I would pay them a pittance to provide me with whatever garbage they produced with the sole requirement that it stayed directly on track with the overall story arc I'd provided. I would of course ignore it all but I could reasonably get away with pretending that things had just been changed during the "chaotic process of getting to the final cut". If the film turns out well anyway then FemaleTypist 1 through 13 are not going to complain. They're going to take their cheque and keep their mouths shut while basking in the glory of "their accomplishment".

Next I would look at cramming in the diversity where it actually keeps asses in seats while ticking enough boxes to, well, not keep the SJW retards happy because they're never happy, but to meet them far enough in the middle that they sound stupid rather than reasonable for complaining that there are still three white people in the film. So nix the fat asian girl (WTF?! The dumbest combination that not only puts off local audiences but the entire Chinese market) and find the buffest, blackest chick that can speak a credible line of dialogue. Someone like Grace Jones only with predator-locks. Ergo the soycucks line up for their strap-on fantasies and you have a diversity character that's strong, viable for the setting and beyond criticism of the SJW retards. Better yet. She was raised by Wookies and doesn't even speak galactic standard so that fagbot has to translate for her. Not speaking english is yet another shield against SJW complaints.

Next up since we already have a black person we replace that idiot Finn with an asian chick only we do it in a way that will appeal to the Chinese so we can make lots and lots of money. She's not fat, she's hot. Same origin story but she bails because the Empire (v2.0) kills her own people (rather than Finn getting misty over a bunch of nobodies). The comic twist is she's still extremely fascist in nature and can't stand the lackadaisical manner of the rebels. The payoff is that she's actually also extremely effective and punches well above her weight on the team, tapping into Chinese cultural autism/pride and making the film popular over there. Due to her Empire (v2.0) training she can credibly fight, fly and fix, something she repeatedly has to tell the rest of the crew is the result of HARD WORK (aka "gweilo LAZY").

Now you have two characters that check the wahmen box and the non-white box that have character potential and aren't an embarrassment to their respective real world races (hard to imagine how frustrating it must be for blacks to be consistently typecast as screaming pussies like Kevin Hart in every single Kevin Hart movie).

Maybe you guys will tell me that I'm barking up the wrong tree and that these ideas suck (remember we're assuming the need to cram diversity in so I'm working with that assumption). But really, it seems like the KK team are so infested by satanic inversion that they have to choose literally the opposite of every sensible idea or even every sensible compromise.
 
There are a myriad ways to put in "diversity" = aka non-Whites in and still have a good story. The hot Asian chick of Rose Tico who died in that stupid Ruin Johnson bomber was an example of a good character.

The problem is of course that their idea of casting is to especially look for fat, short, not super-attractive, non-White "heroes". You could even pick the hottest blackest chick like that and the morons would certainly complain about too much male gaze and something about gender-stereo-types.

5a69222198e308f2ce8b41cebe1e4928.jpg


You have to realize that this team creates penis-scrotum armor for the Witcher TV series and they likely wanted for the Star Wars Destroyer cannons to look like little penises at the bottom. And they do as some reviewers call them penises that are blown up by the Rebels - how brave and empowering giving it to the patriarchy.
 

Leonard D Neubache

Owl
Gold Member
Aye. I think the satanic inversion has gotten to the point where they're destroying their own work without even realizing that they're doing it. Much like a tranny that finally goes so batshit insane that it has it's own junk spliced and inverted then thinks "I'm winning!".

It's walking down the street in agonising pain looking at all the normie bigots and thinking to itself "I'm winning, assholes!!!"

It's having to flush it's open wound with water and bleach to keep it from sealing, screaming in agony and thinking, "take that, CISgender bastards!!!"

Six months later it's hanged itself and the world simply keeps turning. I kind of feel like that's where the Star Wars franchise and Disney more generally is headed. Even the globohomo empire is on that path albeit on a longer scale. God always wins in the end.
 
The mostly useless Finn character was already a certain political casting choice. I know that the actor has some chops and could have played a more heroic character, but they couldn't and wouldn't go towards making him a Jedi, becuase that would take away from the glory of the MaREYSue.

So they made him a janitor, a stupid asshat who kills his own former comrades of the Empire while hooting like an idiot. Didn't he grow up with them since childhood? JuJu put multiple nods to him being force-sensitive in both of his shitty movies, but didn't go anywhere with it.

The problem is likely that they wrote a classic hero-myth with Finn for the Farce Awakens in one of the earlier drafts. Both Finn and Rey could have become Jedi padawan, but it's very likely that they realized that Finn's story was instantly more interesting and they had to delete it just as they had to cancel Mark Hamill's role in the first movie, because all the other characters were so shitty that he would outshine them all.

Back in the beginning I criticized with TFA that they made Finn into a sweating idiotic bozo. You cannot even get heroic non-White characters unless they are the soulful perfect saints in the usual TV series, but that also isn't an engaging character unless you are doing a movie about an actual saint.
 

Leonard D Neubache

Owl
Gold Member
But it still makes no sense.

White women are not a core demographic of the star wars fan base nor are they sympathetic characters to social justice warriors. Rey's character falls flat for everyone. Even the SJWs. Hell, I'm not adverse to the idea of a female force user kicking ass if it's done right. Ahsoka Tano in the clone wars series was a good character. Where magic crap like the force is involved then you have a lot of wiggle room for chicks to become solid fighters. Hell, even where plain old shooting stuff is involved then you can plausibly pull it off. But these idiots are driven relentlessly to destroy even that vague sense of plausibly deniability. We saw that in rogue one where one of the opening scenes had Jyn Erso beating up the three male rebels who uncuffed her. Then again in TFA where the desert mutt Rey beats up Finn long before the plot has even gotten off the ground.

Like I said, their spiritual infection drives them to destroy even plausible deniability. Just like the bossjews are now calling people antisemitic for insulting the press or the banking class. Their inversion of common sense is now so terminal that they have become extremists incapable of even seeing how insane their behavior and thought patterns are to regular people.
 

budoslavic

Eagle
Orthodox
Gold Member

While answering questions from fans at a recent Q&A session, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker director J.J. Abrams commented on the relationship between Rey and Kylo Ren and stated that their connection was originally developed as that of siblings rather than romantic or sexual partners.

In a video taken at the Q&A session, Abrams can be seen and heard responding to a fan.

According to a Reddit thread discussing the video, “asked J.J. if he thought of Rey and Kylo romantically ever since TFA or like when in the process he decided to do the kiss and he skirted around the question saying like there’s finnrey, finnpoe etc aka like they didn’t have a plan and then he says some other odd stuff” by informing the fan that he had originally envisioned Rey and Kylo Ren as siblings in a thematic parallel to the sibling relationship between Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa:

“There’s as much of a brother and sister thing with Rey and Kylo Ren as there is romantic. So it’s not literally a sexually/romantic kind of thing. It’s more like they’re just bound together in this crazy, spiritual way. Again, felt romantic to me.”

Abrams continued by stating that he “didn’t know where [the relationship] was going” and left the conclusion ambiguous at the end of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, similarly to composer John Williams’ process in creating Luke Skywalker’s theme from the original trilogy:

“It’s like if you’re listening to the John Williams, when he first wrote the Luke ‘theme’, it was a romantic theme for Luke and Leia. That was kind of what he was thinking because, he didn’t know where it was going.”
...

I'm a little baffled by what JJ was saying. It sounds more like a good ole (((incest))) between Rey and Kylo.
 

Paracelsus

Crow
Gold Member
budoslavic said:

While answering questions from fans at a recent Q&A session, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker director J.J. Abrams commented on the relationship between Rey and Kylo Ren and stated that their connection was originally developed as that of siblings rather than romantic or sexual partners.

In a video taken at the Q&A session, Abrams can be seen and heard responding to a fan.

According to a Reddit thread discussing the video, “asked J.J. if he thought of Rey and Kylo romantically ever since TFA or like when in the process he decided to do the kiss and he skirted around the question saying like there’s finnrey, finnpoe etc aka like they didn’t have a plan and then he says some other odd stuff” by informing the fan that he had originally envisioned Rey and Kylo Ren as siblings in a thematic parallel to the sibling relationship between Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa:

“There’s as much of a brother and sister thing with Rey and Kylo Ren as there is romantic. So it’s not literally a sexually/romantic kind of thing. It’s more like they’re just bound together in this crazy, spiritual way. Again, felt romantic to me.”

Abrams continued by stating that he “didn’t know where [the relationship] was going” and left the conclusion ambiguous at the end of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, similarly to composer John Williams’ process in creating Luke Skywalker’s theme from the original trilogy:

“It’s like if you’re listening to the John Williams, when he first wrote the Luke ‘theme’, it was a romantic theme for Luke and Leia. That was kind of what he was thinking because, he didn’t know where it was going.”
...

I'm a little baffled by what JJ was saying. It sounds more like a good ole (((incest))) between Rey and Kylo.

Allow me to translate:

"It's not my fault the film was inconsistent and nobody had a plan! Look at George! Look at George! He did worse things than I did! He gave you three boring prequel movies! He changed his mind about Luke and Leia going into ROTJ, they started out as romantic interests and then he turned them into siblings in the last movie! It's not my fault! Look at the birdie! Look at the birdie! Fuck me how did I get myself into this mess..."
 
One of the biggest saviors of Disney is the design of this Christmas and literally almost no competition until mid January. They truly cleaned the schedule off every blockbuster. Jumanji 2 does not come close. That is the power of Disney now when a company owns 40%+ of the boxoffice market and almost all movies for children. They should long since been busted as a trust and never allowed to buy Fox.

Due to that they just dropped 50% over the weekend and will slip above 1 to 1.2 bio. $, which will be likely a minus.

The vid above is a perfect example of the destruction of the franchise. Kids still won't be playing with the toys.

One of the things that Lucas did perfectly was constant innovation. Even the prequels did that well with scores of cool ships and characters, with an intact storyline. You could make 1000% returns on prequel toys. Now you can make 100% losses with the sequel toys.

Disney is not capable to innovate decently - you can see it with the Mandalorian where they dialed back the propaganda, put in lots of member-berries and the Fandom Menace calls it a win. It's only a win insofar, that they decided to rape your mind with the globohomo-dildo a little bit, instead of doing it with a full 2 hours gang-rape in the Last Jedi. It's not a victory, because they just decided to let you get used to the marxist crap slower until the same Fandom Menace just like the Cuckservatives in 20-30 years will blabber on about pedophiles being the perfect representatives of hero-myths.

No - you draw your line in the sand and say: "Nothing - you put even one bit of your marxist shit in it, then I am not going to consume it just as I don't consume soup that has only a little bit of shit in it."
 

Hermetic Seal

Kingfisher
Orthodox
Gold Member
Good observations Simeon.

No idea why this thought never occurred to me before, but the Disney trilogy is utterly ill-equipped for tie-in toys. There's a serious lack of "cool" characters, ships, and settings that would lend themselves to fun toys. The characters are boring, locations are rehashes, and vehicles completely unmemorable. No wonder nobody is buying the toys, there's nothing about it that's fun for kids. It's like Disney forgot about kids on their way to trying to pander to the SJW demographic and prequel-hating cheeto-muncher crowd.

Now I've already address the issue of the prequels, which aren't nearly as bad as people have treated them over the years, but even if you reject that you have to give it to George, the man knew how to make something fun. Even if you thought the acting was stupid and the plots overwrought, the prequels had some awesome stuff in them - lots of great vehicle and character designs and a mountain of bit-player characters from the Clone Wars to get into. Even if adults scorned this stuff, kids loved it because it was fun, and consequently that sold toys.

Disney Star Wars is not fun, and that's an overlooked factor in why it's failed.
 
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