Thoughts on app dating

Waverer

Robin
What have been people's experiences? I always found it dull, and until this year didn't really put much time into it. Earlier this year I did sign up to multiple apps and swipe as much as I could daily without paying. I talked to the women I matched with and eventually met a few. With a couple we dated repeatedly (until one of them asked me to go exclusive so I ended it with the other one). Two months on, the one who wanted an exclusive relationship with me has ended things. I feel like I can't be bothered with the whole process. I think the issues are these:
  • Very boring profiles. On Hinge, the number who give answers to questions like "What is the sign of a good date?" with "You get a second date" is huge. The ones who say anything to distinguish themselves is limited, which means you're going mainly or entirely on looks. For other apps, there is even less to go on.
  • When it comes to looks, the apps seem packed with average looking, chunky women. This isn't who I match with - just the whole dating pool.
  • There is nothing fun about swiping or even chatting to women on an app, but women often expect a LOT of time doing this before you meet.
Nothing that hasn't been said before, I suppose. If I was extremely good looking I might have a different experience. I just wonder what others do? Just power on through?
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
I have a church?

Just kidding, I take the point. Is it that simple, though?
 

andrewFL

Newbie
Unfortunately, the dynamic on dating apps is backwards from the real world. There is a cultural crisis right now.
In the dating apps, the woman is the prize. In the real world, a true man is the prize.

The cultural crisis is that many men have become emasculated. Maximize your market value. Work on naturally getting your testosterone higher. Work on getting your life together (if it isn't already). Now, go out and just talk with a woman... women have like a sixth sense that enables them to sense that you are a "high value man".. their intuition immediately can read you. Online, that's lost... online, you're just another average joe. Women are lonely and even if you come across a bit shy or say the wrong thing, the woman in most cases prefers the in-person interaction than online. In other words, the in-person interaction is more powerful and impacts her more. Another negative of online apps, the women just put their absolute best photos (sometimes old), and lie about their age. In person, you can be certain that you have a certain look that you like, and you could even assess how the woman is dressed/carries herself.

I am new here, and hope to be a positive influence. I would like to say that DAYGAME in 2020 is powerful, although now for marriage/relationship and not for fling/only physical.

You also should try social circle and also activities/hobbies/groups that you enjoy.

Remember - you have a lot to offer. Women (*especially* for a relationship) value a man for many things besides his looks. Your strength, adventurous spirt, loyalty, mind, character, values, lifestyle, wisdom, et cetera, et cetera. Would a woman prefer to be with a red pill guy that is a leader and takes care of her, and has that masculine/feminine polarity with her (makes her feel like a woman)... Or, would she prefer to be with a much more attractive blue pill guy that is not a leader, and lacks those qualities I listed...?
 
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The issue is not that you cannot meet someone there(you certainly can), but rather that it is a big hassle altogether. The first issue is that it is a huge waste of time - swiping, waiting for match, the long drawn out chitchat back and forth(if they reply), the filibustering...with someone you've seen only from a finely selection of their "hall of fame"-pictures. Its just a big waste! For most girls these apps are just night-time entertainment and showoff to their circle of friends of guys, not to mention all the filibustering, screenshot sharing and so on. Contrast this with an IRL scenario where you see one you like, you approach, you get instant feedback on the real deal, you evaluate each other --> reject or approved. Done. You can continue with your day.

And let's be real, as mentioned above: as a man you will(and should) derive value from far too many other things than your looks(not that I am downplaying looks) and you need to play to your strengths in an environment where most of your strengths won't be rendered out.

Personally I have never been a fan of daygame, pickup artistery and what not - I have always found it to be too much effort and (dare I say?) silly walking around town chatting to women. You cannot out-talk high value. Now I don't what turns your crank but I like women that maintains a healthy lifestyle so I find many opportunities at those gym facilities, but whatever floats your boat man... just not dating apps.
 

Waverer

Robin
Good post, Eduard. I agree that increasing ones mate value is vital. But then actually meeting women is important, too. My last girlfriend, even if it only lasted two months, is not the kind of person I'd ever have met in normal life. The problem is the means of meeting these people is so much more dull than meeting organically.
 

Pointer

Woodpecker
The bad news is that daygame has been buried by coronavirus, I don't see it coming back anytime soon. Even with the vaccine many people will continue wearing the face diaper and I can't imagine doing approaches under these circumstances.
So dating apps will grow in popularity but the actual message exchange will happen on Instagram. Last time I checked Tinder 2/3 of all girls had that shit in their bio and that was 18 months ago. I suspect that many are using dating apps just to collect followers. If you thought online dating was a waste of time before, it will become a lot worse because you'll be messaging thousands of girls who may or may not be looking for someone.
 

AntoniusofEfa

Woodpecker
If physical pleasure is all what you are seeking, just pay for it and be done with it. You will save yourself hassle, and most importantly, time. Time that you could invest in building up power and wealth, as well as with your (real) male friends and family.
 
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