bonkers said:
I know marriage isn't viewed favourably by a lot of people here, but I gotta go into bat for Nordegren a bit here.
She did her part in the marriage. She was/is stunning in her prime and was willing to to marry Tiger in her prime (this is what we would like women to be like, instead of being hypergamous and then look to settle down as they are approaching the wall). As far as I know, she was not hypergamous.
After she got married, she did the right things:
-she looked after herself and didn't let herself go
-she had children and took the time to look after them
-even after multiple children, she didn't use that as an excuse to let herself go and maintained a great figure
-she didn't seek any extra media attention or use her status as the wife of Tiger to whore herself out
-she didn't seek divorce until after his cheating came to light. and really who can blame her for asking for a divorce in those circumstances, especially when she seems to have done most of the right things
also from Tiger's performances before and after the breakup, you can see that she probably did the wife's duty in supporting her husband and did not extensively seek the limelight.
If there were more women in this world who looked as good as her, looked after herself and had a similar mindset (rather than the prevalent hypergamous/attention seeking/vapid/instant gratification that we see with so many western women today), the world would probably be a better place
This thread has some great pieces of wisdom. The first thing I thought when I saw this old bumped thread was, well yeah, of course he wants her back. He fucked up. I'm guessing she wasn't pleasing him (sexually of course) and he was frustrated so he whores around, it's positively reinforced, and then the big blow up.
The misunderstanding, however, is what exactly is positively reinforced. It wasn't
him cheating >> her not pleasing him >> him cheating more >> her not pleasing him.
It was
he's beta >> her not pleasing him >> he's behaving more beta >> she's pleasing him even less.
And like any guy, he wants to fuck, and he's rich and famous, so it's easy for him to get waffle house waitresses.
It started with him. He was a pussy, so she wasn't pleasing him. If he would have been emotionally/relationally alpha - with his status, wealth, fame - she would have made sure he didn't wander.
Why? Because she wouldn't have wanted him to move on to a better wife, a better life, better kids...she wouldn't have wanted to lose *him*.
But she knew, subconsciously, he couldn't find a better life. She knew, deep down, he was a pussy who couldn't do better than a waitress or porn star. His world depended on her, so she stopped pleasing him because she wasn't attracted to him. She already had half his stuff, already had his genetically superior children. I guarantee you she wasn't suckin him off to keep his urges to a minimum.
The excellent post above articulates Elin's participation in the marriage so well.
TravelerKai said:
NomadofEU said:
Patrice O'Neal explained all this long ago. Men have ego's and that's what kills us with women. We want to believe they're our possession and will be loyal to us like we are to them so we become emotionally (ego) invested, ie oneitis. Obviously Tiger Woods has massive pride and that's what keeps him stuck on Elin. He can't get over her because he's not in control of his ego, he's not willing to take a loss. He doesn't realize that relationships are exactly like sports in that, "in order to play you have to be willing to lose."
He believes he "had it all" back when he was married with a happy family and a wife because he's a blue pill novice that never had the chance to explore masculinity and allow it to humble him. He, like so many other athletes, fails with women because they had the discipline and dedication to focus completely on their craft but never on their character.
He did have it all. Just like the previous poster in this thread Bonkers stated, there was not much more he could have asked for from Elin.
Thing is, Tiger humiliated her in ways very few women have ever been humiliated before. You see couples splitting over infidelity all the time, but no one knows who the 3rd wheel was. The split up is somewhat uneventful. Tiger on the other hand had his extremely embarrassing voicemails and text messages read over radio and TV for weeks, over god damn pornstars, escorts, and restaurant waitresses. It's one thing when a man is getting pussy on the side from a quiet hoe that is not looking for the bright lights, it's another thing when you were all but walking around with your penis out at every good looking blonde woman on the streets as if you were dying of thirst (for pussy of course). It's as if your very well known wife is not taking care of your needs back home or worst you are some sick and disgusting freak.
The entire village (the world) knows about his cheating. Elin probably still feels like she cannot come out of the rock she feels she needs to crawl under. Can you imagine the stares she gets in public? It's not rocket science why she bought that giant mansion far away from everyone. She said it was to protect her children, but lets be real. That was to protect her and those kids from shame. Tiger practically ruined his entire family's life. The level of irresponsibility he displayed as a professional, a man, and a husband is difficult to find in an equal.
You know I go back and forth sometimes about if she even let him get some on the side, was completely in the dark, had other hoes calling her, was told by a journo that they were going to break the story, or only got pissed because maybe he passed an STD on her. The bottom line is that he made a complete circus out of his family. It's almost unforgivable in many ways.
...
Clap, clap clap, bravo.
I can tell you, Elin will never take him back emotionally. I suspect she will never lose her deep disgust for him.
I'm close with a woman in her late 30s who is and was in a similar situation (relationally) as Elin. She was a great stay-at-home wife who homeschooled the kids, great cook, dinner every night, lunch for work, and I think good sex life. Sure, she isn't perfect. She bitches and moans and annoys like anyone, like any wife, but you'd be hard pressed to find a better replacement.
Husband cheated on her with 2 LTRs (ie not random trip to Vegas but legit relationship where he ignores her and spends their money on a mistress). She found out, she put up with the reality (because she still loved him), mistress broke it off, a year later he got into another relationship, she eventually found out, she put up with it for a while, but eventually she realized he wasn't devoted and she didn't want to have to go back to work till she was dead with zero retirement, so she divorced.
18 years into the marriage, 6 years after he first cheated on her, she left.
The nail in the coffin? In hindsight it made sense for her long-term well-being (finances). But I can tell you a huge breaking point. She discovered (inadvertently, actually it was on his old phone that her kids were playing with...yeah) he was involved in some weird orgy shit where he watches dudes nail his girlfriend while he fucks some fatty.
She nearly threw up in revolt. She was sick for days. She had discovered the deep-seated beta-ness of her husband, and that was it. While the relationship had dissolved and divorce had seemed imminent, her discovery made the decision much easier.
Her disgust has worn off post-divorce over time, but she'll never have feeling for her ex. She looks down on him, she pities him, but nothing would get her to take him back.