Tinder and the Dating Apocolypse

[bacan]

Glad this got posted here.

I have given up Tinder mostly because I don't feel like having my profile out there for everyone to see and because I don't have the time or patience to respond to messages or care about matches. I already have enough options in real life and already have enough distractions on the internet, so I think I'd be better off without it for the time being.

That being said, these guys in the article apparently are having amazing success with getting quick easy sex from women using Tinder. I'm guessing these guys have great logistics and can drop lines like "hey, why don't you come over for a quick drink on my balcony? great view of central park" or something.

I am reconsidering getting back onto Tinder, though.

 

[azulsombra]

All the dudes in the article were mid 20s highly successful presumably Caucasian guys living in the good parts of NYC with status jobs(photographer, male model, guitarist, finance, lawyers, even dude that lives at home is a ripped personal trainer)and good looking by the authors admission. Why would anyone expect these guys to have trouble getting laid?

Tinder or no tinder. Do these chicks think these types weren't banging women left and right with little effort in the 90s as well?
It may have gotten slightly easier, but so has everything else from calling an uber, booking a flight, to listening to music.

 

[Ternarydemonite]

The article gives us a view of the true solipsistic point of view of women. For an attractive young woman, 80-90% of men are invisible. Non-existent entities/creeps/things. Around 10% of men are the betas. The ones for dinners, dates, movies, coffees, the shoulders to cry on. The top 5%, are the players, the fuckboys, the assholes. The ones they wet for.

The article reflects how the mind of an attractive young woman is incapable of empathy with the 80% of living men who are undersexed and rejected by the female sex. They complain about the top-guys who pump and dump them; and they do that because they can. They have no eyes other than for the alpha cock. That is, until they hit The Wall.

 

[DeusLuxMeaEst]

I've noticed a certain desperation in Tinder/online girls I've met the past few years. I usually bang them quickly on the first or second date. Afterwards, I just keep in contact on friendly terms to hook up with them again. I don't really act like a dick.

These girls try to snag me for a relationship with a quickness. I've gotten texts like 'My friend saw you were still on tinder, that really hurt me', 'are you sleeping with anyone else?' etc.

Even while still hanging out with them, they put in a ton of effort both in and out of the bedroom. Maybe it's just the type of girl I attract.

Women have a ton of options, but what's difficult for them is to find a guy who in their mind they truly connect with on a deeper level. So they complain with articles like this. In the mean time they are having fun and getting banged out every week.

 

[N°6]

There is still a pervasive double standard. We need to puzzle out why women have made more strides in the public arena than in the private arena.”

This gives me chills.

This reeks of a more focused incursion into the actual regulating of interpersonal interactions between men and women, in your "yes means yes" direction. Institutionally and civically there are already some serious bands around a man's behavior. They want into your text convo's, into your phone calls, into your yadstop and ultimately, into what you do with women you have banged.

At least it mentioned the public and private arenas because hitherto, the dating market is treated as a completely different arena to the civil arena.

In the civil arena, women demand that most men be made equal with them. This has the effect of causing these equalised men to become invisible to them in the private (sexual, romantic, relationship) arena until their SMVs drop below to those men they were equal with in their 20s.

Inequality is mostly demonstrated through women's sexual and relationship choices.

The women at my pay grade are in relationship with men at higher paygrades while the men are married to single mothers, women of a certain age or women from the secretarial pool.

 

[N°6]

“It’s a contest to see who cares less, and guys win a lot at caring less,” Amanda says.

I'm pretty sure Rollo Tomassi has said that exact thing.

Rollo has definitely said that women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment.

Based on the article, there are a lot of young women going out looking for sex and hoping to land a commitment, and are disappointed that men have caught onto the idea that there's no point buying the cow when the milk is free.

We know how easy it is for women online and with dating apps. What man would 'commit' aka financially invest in a woman who frequented bars dominated by single men every night? Yet Tinder gives her even more access to men who are not restrained by approach anxiety or social mores.

I don't meet a lot of women off Tinder by any means - perhaps 1 or 2 women per month then no-one for a while. I have met a woman three times and I've got laid three times. The sex is good.

After all three nights, I decided to not swipe again until I saw how soon she swiped after leaving me in the mornings. On each occasion, she was swiping for more matches within the day.

Guess what I am going to reply to her if she ever tries to call in her chips and demand a relationship in return for the sex we've been having?

 

[N°6]

Any girl who feels they have no control in the online dating market is insane.

The best way to retain POWER without assuming any responsibility is to feign a lack of control and blame men.

 

[GreenHills]

Women have a ton of options, but what's difficult for them is to find a guy who in their mind they truly connect with on a deeper level. So they complain with articles like this. In the mean time they are having fun and getting banged out every week.

I don't think that's true. If you're going around thinking "she has fun and gets banged by the tattoo artist every week", that'll kill your mood. I mean, it would surely kill mine if that was true.

I don't think I've ever been with a woman that's been banging a new guy every week, from the women I've gotten to know for a bit of a longer time. Maybe I just don't date outrageous sluts. Sure, I don't know if they lie to me, but I think I've been good at getting an idea of their recent behavior. Most women don't have the energy to go out with new guys all the time. The only girl I know who does that is really desperate to find a man to marry her. I observe that a lot of women go out on five online dates, all the guys are shit and they stop dating for a while.

 

[CRR]

In reading the article and some of the comments here, I'd like to comment as someone who works in finance.

It's not that a lot of the guys are 'Alpha', rather it's about access. A lot of working in finance is networking, which leads to a lot of events and social gatherings. Women show up for one obvious reason, to meet a guy with money. And the icebreaker is built in, since you're at an 'event' and can start with the "so where do you work?" and go from there. It's so easy to send out an email to every attractive women one knows, even just barely meeting, with a "generic finance/investment company is holding an event at xx, you should come" and chances are they are going to show up.

And while many of the guys aren't alpha, working in this field often requires a level of assertiveness that is also a very attractive quality to women. A lot of the younger guys I work with are on Tinder and attack it with that same assertiveness.

So if you have any friends who work for a financial services firm, the bigger company the better, the bigger city the better, start going to their networking events. They'll be hit or miss, but more often than not, you'll have easy access to attractive women.

 

[ryanf]

When I was at NYC a few weeks ago for Roosh's conference I was visiting a college buddy of mine and he told me about a girl from Tinder he was going to meet that night. She was an 35 year old East Asian 6/10. He told me she had 3800 matches.

"Did you ask her how she decided to pick you?"

"Yeah man I asked her, 'How the fuck do you decide?' and she said she liked my message. My message was 'Yoo that's a funny pic you got'."

"That's all you said?"

"Yeah my profile description is 'Tom Brady is God' none of it makes any sense bro"


So basically, the women in NYC have thousands of matches. They are like children in a candy shop; is a child being rational when he chooses which candy to eat? They just choose amongst their favorites but ultimately it is random and there is no logic to the process.

As for women who complain they aren't finding Mr. Right? They leave out the part of having thousands of matches. The whole thing is a joke and these sluts are full of shit. They just cannot admit how broken they are.

Samseau, do you produce any regular content, such as a blog? I really enjoy a lot of your contributions.

 

[The_CEO]

I'm no online dating expert, but a friend of mine who gets reasonable quality women IRL and through online dating (7s), gets messages from the most butt-heinous, fat, old women to the point where it rattles his confidence.

He's 6'0, 37 years old, slim, decent job and looks, and as I said, pulls at least decent looking, fit women IRL.

But good lord some of the women who message him (he texts me the 'winners'). Many are several years older, many are morbidly obese, or both. It's insane.

There is an overall moral to all of this, and that is as a man, you have to make your own way. It's our natural instincts as hunters/gatherer. I tell him to keep the faith because at least he is fairly successful in the women he pursues and to not let the gargoyles and buffaloes that pursue him to get him down.

37+ years old and chances are better IRL vs. Tinder assuming you put your real age. Unless you're David Beckham, 37 y/o on Tinder seems like a death knell.

 

[ryanf]

“For young women the problem in navigating sexuality and relationships is still gender inequality,” says Elizabeth Armstrong, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan who specializes in sexuality and gender. “Young women complain that young men still have the power to decide when something is going to be serious and when something is not—they can go, ‘She’s girlfriend material, she’s hookup material.’ … There is still a pervasive double standard. We need to puzzle out why women have made more strides in the public arena than in the private arena.”

I don't want a relationship. No means no bitch.

 

[Apollo21]

Considering how many women live in New York, Tinder doesn't really reflect the actual dating market.

Tinder(and other Dating Apps) are artificial environments that usually favor women. It's like playing
an away game(for guys) where you don't always have a home field advantage. You can still win. You just have
to adjust your game.

As for power, anyone man or woman has the power to say yes, no or walk away if they don't like something.
There is no inequality when it comes to dating. Just people making decisions. If a guy can't get dates living in one city
he simply goes to the next one, and the next one. Until he gets what he wants.

If a girl complains she can't find a man, chances are she's not really trying that hard.

Here's another truth. NYC is much like SF in that the majority of, quite frankly overpaid, soft-skill jobs are only offered to women and good-ol'-boy nepotist finance jobs are offered to a select few men, and this is the vast majority of people living in the desirable areas of the city. Only with SF, replace the nepotist finance types with more of Silicon valley startup scene - although SF has finance of its own - which is bad in other ways.

No one else can afford living there. You will have a few of the artistic class - photographers, models who have agents, musicians, and students who will be gone soon - who will fill out the rest of the closet-sized studio apartments - and that's it.


It's gotten to the point where millennial women get paid MORE than men in these cities: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/young-women-new-york-earn-male-peers-study-article-1.2110245
This article fails also because it uses average, NOT median to determine pay. The skewing of the average is from a select few young men who are making solid six-figure salaries - and *even then* the girls still get paid more.


Both cities have a hidden underclass (Tenderloin and South SFO in SF, and Flatbush and many other scattered parts in each burrough of NY) which are irrelevant until one of the privileged class gets robbed there.


What it does is create an unbelievably great situation for the guys who can afford living there - and you find some guys take up a horrible standard of living just to experience the abundance of women. I can't say too much for NYC because I hated my stay there and only visit for very short periods of time, but in SF oftentimes you would get opened by a girl if you were at the right bar or club. Tinder would work if you are one of the fratty types living in the Marina, but if not you still need not worry.

That is unbelievable. Such a great opportunity for guys who are willing to move and get involved in different social activities in NYC.

Sometimes I feel we need 2x lifetimes just to experience everything....

 

[Onto]

“It’s a contest to see who cares less, and guys win a lot at caring less,” Amanda says.

I'm pretty sure Rollo Tomassi has said that exact thing.

Rollo has definitely said that women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment.

Based on the article, there are a lot of young women going out looking for sex and hoping to land a commitment, and are disappointed that men have caught onto the idea that there's no point buying the cow when the milk is free.

And no point buying the cow when society has set it up for him to be the one milked in the end.

 

[Samseau]

When I was at NYC a few weeks ago for Roosh's conference I was visiting a college buddy of mine and he told me about a girl from Tinder he was going to meet that night. She was an 35 year old East Asian 6/10. He told me she had 3800 matches.

"Did you ask her how she decided to pick you?"

"Yeah man I asked her, 'How the fuck do you decide?' and she said she liked my message. My message was 'Yoo that's a funny pic you got'."

"That's all you said?"

"Yeah my profile description is 'Tom Brady is God' none of it makes any sense bro"


So basically, the women in NYC have thousands of matches. They are like children in a candy shop; is a child being rational when he chooses which candy to eat? They just choose amongst their favorites but ultimately it is random and there is no logic to the process.

As for women who complain they aren't finding Mr. Right? They leave out the part of having thousands of matches. The whole thing is a joke and these sluts are full of shit. They just cannot admit how broken they are.

Samseau, do you produce any regular content, such as a blog? I really enjoy a lot of your contributions.

I'm working on a blog. Follow my twitter if you want to stay on top of my work.

 

[Belize King]

I just met a girl who had 480 matches. She showed me. She's a 6 at best. I can barely get 10 matches in 200 swipes. I've smashed 80-90 in my life so I'm not that bad looking. Need to step my picture game up.

 

[kosko]

Statistics from OkCupid. Take Tinder as OkCupid on steroids and even being in the top 25% does not guarantee any play to a man.

Am I reading this graph wrong or does it show that the medium rated men get more msgs than the most attractive?

That's how I'm reading it too. Which is somewhat perplexing. I can understand that slightly above average looking men might (on some dating sites) get a good chunk of messages initiated by women (though in this case it would presumably be the slight below average men who are mercilessly chased), but that the best looking guys apparently get almost none in comparison is hard to believe.

OKC managed to stamp out hypergamy through clever subliminal web adverts?

Women don't want to be shut down. They would rather go for something more "safe" then gamble and maybe get a egg on their faces. If she gets the same vibe from two dudes (some edge, cash, socially out there, etc) she will always take the safer lick versus a chance and getting burned. Now mind you none of this shit factors in real life as woman do no work but sit and bait men, but online where she has all the power but then most onus to do some work the natural factor of women being cowards comes out.

 

[amusedmastery]

Wow...This thread is a testament to the wisdom and intelligence on this forum. Spot on assessments!

The most chilling aspect of the whole article to me is "Prof. Elizabeth's" desire to "puzzle out" why women aren't completely controlling men's sexual and relationship freedom. I'm starting to get some dark vibes as to where this is all heading....Mix in the whole "man up" movement from asinine new wave preachers and you get the right-left cabal in hypergamous hyperdrive. She's banging it out 2-3 times a week over a decade? Not her fault...You need to "man up" because it's YOUR fault she didn't have enough "good men" to choose from when she younger. (This completely denies hypergamy and females being the gatekeepers of sex) So, NOW you need to "man up" and marry her up. (since she's hit the wall and can't compete with the hotties at peak SMV)

Complete and total absolving of any and all responsibility.

Am I living in Bizarro World?

 

[scubadude]

Around here tinder is even worse than POF. Difficult to get dates with women that I would be nexting in real life. Here is a shining example of the feminist filth that lurks there, try not to puke.

 

[CH-Toronto]

Hey look a follow-up article:
http://www.theguardian.com/technolo...-app-creating-dating-apocalypse-twitter-storm

It's mostly a fluff piece but this is the most telling point- and a REAL representation for the average guy on Tinder:

Actually, I believe that women hold all the Tinder-power because they have so many matches, and most men don’t. My female friends have hundreds of matches and so many unanswered messages, whereas I rarely receive anything, and neither do my mates. Our phones lie fallow, with neither chirrup nor ping. It’s lonely, like one of those tragic restaurants that are always empty, and every time you walk by you wish – really wish – that there were customers inside, but there never are. It is rather emasculating like that.