Let's count the red flags.Hello, since I am not allowed to create a thread and want brotherly advice here i go. I am 27 year old man, I met a beautiful Christian woman on christian mingle who is just 19. We started talking 5 months ago just over the phone where we spent hours and hours facetimeing, laughing having serious convos etc. After getting to know each other she wanted all i wanted. We finally met in person about a month ago. I made her my girlfriend that night. We been pretty much un separable since then
That being said since then her past came out and her mask slipped a bit and then i heard about past trauma. She has attempted suicide in the past a few times, has a manipulate mother that physically abused her, never met her real father and moved out immediately at 18. She also has mentioned that when she was a child her cousin forced her to perform oral sex on her. Most concerning that caught my attention is that when she just turned 18 she hooked up with 34 year old man. She was open about and says she deeply regrets it and felt disgusting and even started crying. She said they went to 2nd base but didn't have sex. Despite all this she still is a virgin and that was a major thing we discussed before meeting her. We both want to wait till marriage and we haven't done much other than kiss since. I am not perfect and have a past filled with sexual immortality so I don't expect a perfect woman but I also do not want to fall into a bad situation either.
One thing i noticed as well is that she is controlling or attempts to be as a shit test. She started an argument with me because i didn't want to upgrade my iphone. Im not strapped for cash but i see no reason to buy a new one. Frugality goes over her head. She also HATES kids, when i am the complete opposite. That was a major red flag for me. She is very verbally intelligent for her age and put on a great act (hope it wasnt) on the phone. She is also very jealous and can be rude to others at times. She is a good girl deep down but very very very clingy furthering my belief that her virginity is valid. She is a christian but not super serious but as in more of a facebook christian. She has said multiple times she wants to go to church with me but we havent had the opportunity yet because i refuse to go to her new aged rock concert kumbaya non denominational mega church. I am not a rich man so it cant be money. I do make her laugh, I am decently attractive and a pretty confident man but thinking about how obssesed she is of me i scratch my head. I get texts often and she is super affectionate.
It feels good to vent but my main questions are; is this trauma too much to look past? Am a dealing with a manipulative woman? is it her age? or is she just a good girl who had a rough past? I have been pretty lonely, got out of a bad relationship with a really good girl but also a rape victim so i am usually somewhat lonely. I prayed to our lord before being introduced to her to find a beautiful nice christian woman to multiply with and spread the word of God and It felt like he delivered. Is it worth it to try and guide her?
I want to make sure i am not being blinded by a young attractive bubbly female.
- Massive sexual trauma in the past.
- Abusive mother.
- Daddy issues.
- Ran away from home ASAP at 18.
- Makes really terrible decisions like hooking up with a 34 y/o man, probably stemming from said daddy issues. Probably wanted a surrogate father figure.
6a. What gets me is the argument over you not upgrading your iPhone. That's a HUGE red flag for me. Since when are women supposed to be such technophiles that they actually care about the MODEL of your smartphone? I expect this from nerdy men... but women? Weirdo alert.
- Goes to new-aged rock concert kumbaya non denominational mega church. Unless she acknowledges Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior, she is nothing more than a woo-woo spiritualist with silly woo-woo beliefs about a God that works more like the Force than the Living God of Abraham, Isaac, and Israel. This is another massive red flag.