Two lesbians attempt to sail to Tahiti. End result is what you'd expect.

[Paracelsus]

Update to the story. The blond was a hooker. The other one was described as a “250lb Samoan.”

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5063707/Bungling-yachtswoman-kinky-sailor-dominatrix.html

You asshole, porsche, I clicked on that link, you didn't tell me there'd be fucking nudes of the blonde's 48 year old decaying body. Post up some eye bleach for Christ's sake.

 

[Kona]

I gotta find out where she dances. You can run into some gnarly day-shifters if you hit the Korean/Viet spots.

Her young boyfriend sounds like a class act. I'm not sure how you make a living as a professional blackjack player in Honolulu? I think that's his way of saying he hangs around the illegal gambling places and sells meth.

Edit: I can totally see a stinking, black molded, roach pit sailboat at ala wai harbor housing some type of makeshift dominatrix lair/whore den.

Aloha!

 

[Transsimian]

Bleach

 

[Suits]

 

[Jetset]

Despite the fact that she looks like a man, the blond has a decent body.

That face on that body is a real shame at 48. If she'd stayed out of the sun and away from substances it'd be a whole different ballgame, but instead she looks like Popeye's forgotten construction worker sidekick. They had bonded over their shared love of the sea, but she's now largely estranged from her lifelong friend after she tried to grope Olive Oyl at a dive bar in Baja.

 

[Days of Broken Arrows]

And the drama just keeps on coming.

According to People Magazine yesterday, this story has taken "another shocking turn." These lesbians are now claiming they were never lost at sea and the rescuers "tried to kill them" (that's the headline).

One of them, Jennifer Appel, had this to say:
“The Taiwanese fishing vessel was not planning to rescue us. They tried to kill us during the night,” she continued, adding that the Taiwanese vessel purposely rammed against them, overpowering their significantly smaller boat...

There's more:

Appel said that during the encounter with the Taiwanese crew, she was afraid to use the distress signal and, instead used a satellite phone on the fishing vessel to contact the U.S. Coast Guard.

“I was able to get on the surfboard and get on their boat, make an actual phone call,” Appel told NBC. “Because no one spoke English, it was easier and safer for me to relay the information to the U.S. Coast Guard-Guam sector that we were in danger without them realizing what we were saying."

Wonder what the spin will be next week.

 

[Jetset]

Wonder what the spin will be next week.

I feel bad for the Taiwanese fishermen. All they were doing was sailing around minding their own business, and even in the middle of the Pacific they managed to trip over some American slut with a mental disorder falsely claiming they were trying to rape her.

Dr. Manhattan may have been on to something.

[img=480x270]http://i.imgur.com/B42XE5W.jpg[/img]

 

[heavy]

I've never read a thread that starts so well and just gets better.

Thread title made me laugh out loud at work.
Click bait statement "End result is what you'd expect." actually made it funnier, because somehow I knew it wasn't trolling.
Actual story in and of itself is hilarious.
OP commentary on the story is excellent, funny, and well-informed +1
High on a great OP, then the comments do not disappoint.

And overall, the message rings true with the entire message of the forum.

I wonder if I'll get a thank you card for paying for the Navy to rescue these retards.

Edit...I give it post of the day, even if I'm a couple weeks late.
otd:

 

[[email protected]]

Thread should be retitled: "The Female Hamster: A Case Study"

Chapter 1

So stop me if you've heard this one before. Two bull dykes are lost at sea....

 

[kaotic]

I knew their stories were full of fucking shit, from day one, I knew it, they had so much shit on board to prove so, the rations, water, distress beacon.

This story is sketchy.

I'm surprised we didn't hear about NASA Test Pilot swooping on these two whales.

He could've towed them to shore by just swimming.

 

[911]

The interesting angle here is how the Samoan land whale went out on a cruise and ended up going from a 250lb land whale to a ~170lb chubby midwestern cheerleader bod. I think the aging blond slut should drop her fake stranded at sea fiction book project and focus instead on the "Stranded crash diet" ("how to lose 80 pounds by eating dog food every other day").

 

[SlickyBoy]

^Totally. I can't imagine how lardy that Samoan broad must have been before she plopped her sack-o-yogurt ass on that boat. And five months at sea? My ass - I spent just under a couple of weeks with no food and lost about 11 pounds.

She must have had a secret stash of twinkies somewhere on that decrepit boat.

The 48 year old actually has a passable body for someone her age - too bad she's got Paul Hogan's face.

WNB - not even with a bag over her head; not even after (actually) spending 5 months at sea.

 

[fokker]

Posted two images of the blonde from the DM article in the WYB thread.

 

[C-Note]

So, she basically lived in a tent and/or an unheated, un-air conditioned, rusty boat in Hawaii since 2008 without a source of regular income? You know, Hawaii is very lucky that it sits so many miles off the coast, because otherwise thousands of weirdos like this chick would be showing up figuring that they can live there for free and with some comfort because the weather is so mild. Alaska has somewhat of that problem but the extreme weather drives many of the doofuses who show up there back to the lower 48.

 

[spokepoker]

Alaska has that problem? That seems wrong, but I don't know if you're correct or not.

 

[germanico]

All jokes aside though, what in the almighty fuck were they thinking?

"Just think of all the followers im going to get on Instagram!"

Back in 2014 a married coupled rowed from Monterey, California to Hawaii. This couple went through extensive preparation and training. They even practiced what do do if their boat capsized. The couple are well trained endurance athletes and very fit. They made the trip in 45 days. I wonder if they banged on the trip? Hahaha. They must have brought a ton of food to keep their bodies sufficiently fueled to keep rowing basically 24/7.

From the look of that couple the rowboat was actually a giant tube of 5000 SPF sunblock.

2600 miles in the South Pacific ocean...the only thing they did to prepare is to bring a years worth of food.

Good thing it was the mast and not the freezer that failed.

Did anybody actually notice they were gone for five months? Sounds like they weren't really missed...

They havnt spoke to family in years and all their "friends" are online acquaintances and/or random dykes from bars.

The dog looked particularly relieved.
Lost at sea for 5 months with two dykes, yikes!

Adrift for 5 months, ran out of peanut butter within the first week...

I was going to ask, has anybody caught a picture of their dogs from a different angle? I'm wondering if they're neutered...

That dog lost its balls the day after he met them.

"I had no idea that we were going to be in this thing for 80 solid hours," Appel said of the storm of which there is no record.

Still, they pressed on.

Days later, after parts of their mast and rigging failed, they sailed up to another small island, still with a working motor, but decided against trying to land, believing the island was mostly uninhabited with no protected waters.

"It is uninhabited. They only have habitation on the northwest corner and their reef was too shallow for us to cross in order to get into the lagoon," Appel said.

When asked if the small island would have been a good place to land and repair their sails, Appel said no. "Kiribati, um, one whole half of the island is called shipwreck beach for a reason."

"We really did think we could make it to the next spot," Appel said.

Looks like they were cooking meth or running drugs and/or contraband.

No. Blond dike was struggling too hard to keep her only lover in years aboard by fabricating tragedies instead of just landing the fucken boat.

Wonder what the spin will be next week.

If the media hasnt moved on by then, probably rape "those fishermen EYE RAPED ME! PATRIARCHY! As a lesbian sailor, I should feel free to sail whenever I want without having fishermen looking at me in a sexual manner"

They wont. Nobody would.

I feel bad for the Taiwanese fishermen. All they were doing was sailing around minding their own business, and even in the middle of the Pacific they managed to trip over some American slut with a mental disorder falsely claiming they were trying to rape her.

Imagine the fuel they wasted and the catch they lost while towing these two fucks.

So, she basically lived in a tent and/or an unheated, un-air conditioned, rusty boat in Hawaii since 2008 without a source of regular income? You know, Hawaii is very lucky that it sits so many miles off the coast, because otherwise thousands of weirdos like this chick would be showing up figuring that they can live there for free and with some comfort because the weather is so mild.

Are you telling me that one could just sail to Hawaii and live off a docked boat? That doesnt seems like a bad idea to me.

 

[fokker]

^ End of thread.