What Are The Biggest Red Flags When Courting?

Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
What is the reasoning for this?
Jokes aside, although a T shirt can be appropriate clothing in some situations, such as sports. In my mind, T shirts are juvenile clothing, for boys, for children and teenagers. I don't want to appear juvenile. I think that men, adults should wear more dignified clothing, such as long sleeve shirts with buttons.

Plain T shirts are fine I guess, for informal settings. But nowadays especially many T shirts have pictures drawn on them. I don't like that, because many people use T shirts for virtue signaling or propaganda. T shirts with corporate logos, cartoon/video game characters, Star Wars, memes, political slogans, edgy or nerdy slogans. It's just bad taste, which hints that the man is not very sophisticated.

Also by not wearing a T shirt I want to psychologically distance myself from the American worldly culture, and all of it's associated materialism and spiritual decay, such as the stereotypical "soy man".
 
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TheosisSeeker

Sparrow
Orthodox Catechumen
Im not one to police someone’s tone. My criteria is: is the information presented here true or not? Because I can’t argue or debate feelings. I’ll just acknowledge and affirm your feelings but what did you think about the information presented? Yes she is in the field of counseling.

What she presented has merit. Most of what she presented concisely summarizes two books considered groundbreaking on predatory men.

One is “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker.
This book is an invaluable resource for women. The fourth chapter by itself is worth the price of the book alone.

Another “Why Does He do That? Inside the minds of Angry Controlling Men.” by Lundy Bancroft.



Bold statement, again how does this article condemn all men(!) as predators?

Her article states things like being charming or asking questions to get to know her are red flags and associates them with male predatory behavior.

Then under her having a temper she writes:

"...you will see a flash of impatience, hot-headedness, anger, sulking, silent treatment or a temper when they don’t get their way, when you disagree with them or when you set a boundary.

In marriage, this is the sort of predator that will physically abuse, control, and kill you."

Really? That's quite a leap from a flash of impatience. You might as well just call every Greek, mediterranean, Eastern European, or Arab man a predator cause many I've known many who had tempers.

Anger is not a good thing, but she makes quite a leap there in her 'analysis'

You also wrote she was a psychologist or therapist of some sort. Trained under whom? This makes me trust her views even less.

My guess is MissTrad was trained in a secular feminist educational institution and has been influenced by their views, all the way down to looking for the perfect man and maybe hating men.
 
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Despoina

Pigeon
Woman
Orthodox
Forgive me I hit the reply button too quickly. I will write another post later.

Edited to add: or not. I’ll let it be. I just wanted to show that the article didn’t implicate all men. The rest can be refuted simply by reading the whole article.
 
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Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
You also wrote she was a psychologist or therapist of some sort. Trained under whom? This makes me trust her views even less.
I agree with you. Psychologists, therapists, and counselors are the real dangerous predators, puppets of the antichrist system that will destroy you and your family. These people want to look for "queerness" in pre-puberty children, that they can then latch onto and via weird, convoluted mental gymnastics, justify to sterilize and transgender the child. They are always looking for disagreements in the family, short tempers, misunderstanding, that they can then latch onto in order to destroy the family.

They want to brainwash the woman into thinking that her husband is an abuser, make her divorce or just leave the family, then isolate her from the family, associate them with new feminist "friends" (female version of Agent Smith) who would take the woman on fun vacations, and complete the process of brainwashing her against the family, so that she no longer even wants to see her husband or the kids, and then they record evidence of the woman participating in lesbian acts with her new "friends', as a kind of blackmail, and now the "strong independent" woman is now fully in their hands, and gets recruited into the "lesbian feminist industrial complex" to corrupt more women and destroy more families. Psychologists, feminists, and lesbians, are all working together as one big conspiracy.

Yes, all of them. Psychology is ultimately a liberal thing. It is not a science, there is nothing scientific about it. It is a cheka system. All these psychologists, therapists, and counselors are servants of the devil. All their diagnostics are fake ones. Because they are not taking spirituality or God into account, so how can they be honest? They can't and they aren't honest, and it's not their intention to be honest in the first place.

If someone is having relationship problems, what they're really having is spiritual problems. In that case, you should go talk with an independent priest, a wise religious leader, who you know for sure isn't part of the antichrist establishment. Talk to a priest who you know very well. One does not simply go into a random church and ask for a consulation with the priest, because you don't know if that church is compromized or not, had that church been infiltrated by antichrist Agent Smiths? What if that priest is actually a secret agent? So if you go talking to him about his problems, how can you know for sure that he won't rat you out to the authorities, to the "psychological feminist industrial complex", which would start harassing any family, as soon as they identify that family as "disfunctional".

Psychologists, therapists, and counselors are not your friends, they are your predators. If you, as a woman, trust them, and start disobeying your husband, start arguing with your husband, then they'll catch wind of that, and will start hounding you and your family. Even if you move, they have centers all over nowadays, so they'll still be on the hunt for you. Think of it as an animal society. Animals predators instinctively hunt their prey if they sense some amount of weakness or inadequacy. Similarly, these predatory feminazi institutions will hunt your family if they percieve any amount of weakness in your family, such as frequent disagreeements and arguments. So you all need to cast away your pride, don't even think about keeping scores, man up or woman up, and start being vigilant. That's why you cannot afford to have relationship problems, you just can't give into the temptation of sin, because even any small amount of grudge, bitterness, or resentment can cause you to end up as the destroyer of your own family, by your own hands!

That's why men need to be red pilled about such things, they need to be strategic, vigilant, and hard core. Men need to be protectors of their family. Not just physically, like bodybuilding and/or martial arts. The greater enemy is spiritual nowadays. Men need to be red pilled, and able to protect their families on the psychological, societal, mental, and spiritual, and informational fronts. There are so many traps that could destroy you.

If a family is not built on a firm foundation, you get washed away by the sea, and everyone inside of that house will die. In order to just survive in this world, and I suppose have success also, a family has to be based upon God. This is what Jesus Christ has taught us. A divided house (family) will fall apart. There is no other way. Everything else is BS, that will eventually lead to your doom at the hands of these societal predators. Having God in your family is not about being enlightened or holy compared to other people, it is just a matter of will you live or not, can you in principle have success in life as a family, or will you create your own demise?
 
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Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
What she presented has merit. Most of what she presented concisely summarizes two books considered groundbreaking on predatory men.
That is a very blue pilled notion. Now what you don't understand, is that it's not men who are predatory, it is the society itself that is predatory, because the society is now an antichrist system. It can be considered as a cyberpunk society. Do you understand the meaning of what is a "cyberpunk society"?

It is a dystopia where everything is opposite the way it should be. Instead of truly uplifting people, it completely gobbles them up whole. So the entire society can be classified as a predator in and of itself, and is in turn made up of multiple smaller predators.

For example, the psychologists, liberusts, feminazis, lesbians, etc preach "women liberation", but instead they are working to separate the woman from her family, separate her from her husband, from her parents, from her children, as a defenseless, atomized, and naive individual, who can then be easily consumed. We had already talked about this in the thread "The destruction of modern day women". They want the woman to go to the stripclub, have F with "alpha" boyfriends (Agent Smiths), and kill her unborn children who are literally consumed by the medical industrial complex as stem cells, as raw life energy, modern day canibalisms.

If the woman is with husband, they will do anything in their power to cause her to turn against the husband, and break up, to destroy the family from within, either directly or indirectly. They use a variety of tools like the fake friends the secular women who spread gossip and slander (also agents), TV/internet/cell phone brainwashing propoganda, OnlyFans and other social medias, school and the official education indoctrination. And if that doesn't work, they get the "big guns" out, the "heavy hitters". Since they are the antichrist system they have advanced spiritual/astral technologies that can beam negative thoughts into your head, such as lust, resentment, anger, frustration, and other demonic feelings to cause you to snap and offload your feelings unhealthily onto your family.

If they won't be able to split up the parents, they'll try to take aim at the children. Their default operation is the gay propoganda, and indoctrinating the child to be disobedient to parents, and hide information from their parents. While the child is still young, they try to usurp his values system. If that doesn't work, they may use teachers or other students as bullies, to apply force against the child. That's why homeschooling is so important, 90% of the predators fall away. And then you have to worry about the internet/TV/toys/comic books content that the child is consuming, because they too contain lots of corrupting influence, if not wokeism or transgenderism, then the standard consumerism, vulgarity, or other secular values are almost always contained within such medias. Basically all child psychologists also serve the antichrist system, the cyberpunk society, as wage slaves, so they're also another avenue of attack onto the family.

What else is predatory in society? It's junk food, which looks good, smells good, and tastes good, but leads to chronic health problems, especially the candy which is created to be attractive to children but it's actually destructive to their health. Any kind of western official medicine, the drugs that cause more problems that they heal, and it's actually a for profit money collecting operation. Many of these "medicines" such as chemotherapy, "the injections", etc will cripple you. After the last two years, can you trust doctors, they're all sell outs. They don't want to heal people, they want clients that will come to them time and time again for "treatment".

Watch out for the people who you interact with, because they can be agents. Such as BLM protestors, even if you use force to protect yourself, or not even force but just a display of force and intimidation, they would shift the blame on you, and all the "witnesses" would say in unison that you were the original attacker instead of the defender, and you can't even prove it, only God knows who is right, but they care not about God.

See my post in the "occult" thread by Roosh, all of these things are predatory in nature. There are no coincidences.

 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
See, I was right about the T shirts thing.
I’ve never seen my dad wear a collarless t-shirt in my life. He even does gardening in a polo and that is casual for him. His brother, my uncle, never wore denim pants (despite living in Texas) or “athletic” shoes his entire life. My dad does cross his legs though (which seems to be a red flag for some) but he’s also a lanky 6’5” even at 75+ and he’s highly intellectual, highly educated, extremely well read, and a Vietnam Vet. I think some of these guys that cross their legs think by crossing their legs they appear more intellectual? Macron is an obvious example where he just looks feminine.

On the other hand, my husband switches out of his work clothes as quickly as he can when he gets home. He’s a t-shirt, jeans, and boots kind of guy but he has to wear button up dress shirts, slacks, ties, dress/leather shoes for work. But he won’t (most likely can’t) cross his legs Macron style… so I don’t know.
 

messaggera

Pelican
Woman
Other Christian
Im not one to police someone’s tone.

Fair enough. I still found the piece you shared interesting regardless of the content's tone.
I hope you to not find my tone offensive or harsh with providing the following commentary:

My criteria is: is the information presented here true or not? Because I can’t argue or debate feelings. I’ll just acknowledge and affirm your feelings but what did you think about the information presented? Yes she is in the field of counseling.

The information presented is misleading.
Misleading as [facts or ideas presented in a way that changes them so that they are no longer correct or true].

Let us remove the tone (emotion) expressed by the writer, and look at her writing as a professional, and as a Christian. A Christian who is giving advice on how (1) to date (2) to identify behaviours as red flags while dating males and (3) to label these behaviours found in males as predatorial, sociopathic or abusive.

There are some [substantive and structural] issues with the written piece; reducing the credibility of the writer to give advice at a professional (or educated) level on the topic: antisocial/ personality disorders and dating. This would be poor advice, and it would be best to consult another individual. Ironically, as a Christian, she should be advising counsel with spiritual elders in the Church.

Counseling in the United States typically requires a graduate degree, and hours of clinical practice. This writing (from a counselor) is flawed with simple grammatical/ errors, and is deceptive/misleading:

  • When a counselor uses that instead of who to represent an individual’s behaviour they are essential referring to the individual as a subject rather than a person / an individual. This is controversial.
  • When a counselor at a graduate level of education does not practice neutrality in psychology; when assigning predatorial, sociopathic or abusive this is controversial.

What she presented has merit. Most of what she presented concisely summarizes two books considered groundbreaking on predatory men.

One is “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker.
This book is an invaluable resource for women. The fourth chapter by itself is worth the price of the book alone.

Another “Why Does He do That? Inside the minds of Angry Controlling Men.” by Lundy Bancroft.

She would have had merit if she would have just provided a book review instead of the written piece as advice.
I tend to agree with @Stoyan's statements he made:
  • If someone is having relationship problems, what they're really having is spiritual problems.
  • In that case, you should go talk with an independent priest, a wise religious leader, who you know for sure isn't part of the antichrist establishment.
  • Psychologists, therapists, and counselors are the real dangerous predators, puppets of the antichrist system that will destroy you and your family

Technically, it's a list of all the negatives and poor choices made by individuals when choosing a spouse
 

Pray_Everyday

Robin
Woman
Other Christian
Disclaimer: I read the comments on the thread before reading the article, and then went back to read it. Also, I am biased against psychology - at best it is pseudoscience, at worst it is demonic. Others have already explained it better in this thread.

Anyway, I was reading it and agreeing with much of has been said in the thread. It seemed to me like the author is giving women a "free pass" in a way, assumjng that they are not the problem and it's always the men. She mentioned that a woman may be single long term because she has "been focusing on her career" as if that's not a red flag, or sign of possible covert feminist tendencies in a woman.

Then I got to this part:

"Watch out also for the men who complain about the legal system being unfair to men.

While it is true that, due to feminism, the legal system is biased against men..."

So the author warns against men that are able to see, and acknowledge, the factual, objective  truth?

Edit: I also didn't care for some of the casual swearing, but that's just me.

- excessive sleeping or bad management of rest
I admit, I'm curious. Could you, or anyone who agrees, please explain the rationale for this one?

Is it a sign of overall laziness or sloth, or otherwise a character flaw?

Is it because it may signal some underlying hormone issues that may affect fertility?

Is it because a certain lifestyle (like "partying") is associated with it?

Or any other reason I'm overlooking or personal preference?
 
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Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
He’s a t-shirt, jeans, and boots kind of guy but he has to wear button up dress shirts, slacks, ties, dress/leather shoes for work.

  • using toxic chemicals for personal appearance such as hair dye, makeup, various fragrances

Another reason why I think that men should wear white shirts and slacks, is because T shirts and jeans are dyed. If you run around, you tend to get sweaty. The sweat goes into the T shirt and jeans, and dissolves the dyes or paints that are in the clothing. Because you're still sweating, the pores are still open, so any amount of dissolved paint gets absorbed into the skin, which can cause poisoning. I wouldn't wear any dyed clothing directly on top of the skin, only as an exterior clothing.

Similar thing occurs when women use hair dye. The hair is like a thin hollow tube. The paint or dye gets absorbed by the hair, inside that thin hollow tube, or how else would it change the hair's color? Then it goes down the tube, into the roots of the hair follicles which are underneath the skin. So all this paint goes under the skin, and gets spread throughout the body, especially the head, causing who knows what kind of chronic health damages 10, 20 years later.

I wouldn't trust those capitalists. Anything that is not natural, anything that is artificial, should be avoided.

It is the antichrist society, which is rejecting God's creation, by producing GMO vegetables, various dyes, paints, pesticides, all kinds of toxic and corrosive chemicals.
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
Another reason why I think that men should wear white shirts and slacks, is because T shirts and jeans are dyed. If you run around, you tend to get sweaty. The sweat goes into the T shirt and jeans, and dissolves the dyes or paints that are in the clothing. Because you're still sweating, the pores are still open, so any amount of dissolved paint gets absorbed into the skin, which can cause poisoning. I wouldn't wear any dyed clothing directly on top of the skin, only as an exterior clothing.

Similar thing occurs when women use hair dye. The hair is like a thin hollow tube. The paint or dye gets absorbed by the hair, inside that thin hollow tube, or how else would it change the hair's color? Then it goes down the tube, into the roots of the hair follicles which are underneath the skin. So all this paint goes under the skin, and gets spread throughout the body, especially the head, causing who knows what kind of chronic health damages 10, 20 years later.

I wouldn't trust those capitalists. Anything that is not natural, anything that is artificial, should be avoided.

It is the antichrist society, which is rejecting God's creation, by producing GMO vegetables, various dyes, paints, pesticides, all kinds of toxic and corrosive chemicals.
You only wear white shirts and white slacks/pants?
 

Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
He says how in villages and more obscure territories today we see marriages take place in the late teens, it isn't considered strange either. Getting married in your teens or early 20's is now the exception whereas it used to be the rule in days of yore.
This is the tradition of the Russkies, how marriages have been historically conducted in Russian villages. The parents (grandparents of the next generation) would marry their children in their late teens, as an arranged marriage, obviously not against the will of the children, and then it would be likewise their responsibility in raising their grandchildren, and of course resolving any disputes that arise. This arrangement would prevent the family from falling apart due to bad decisions of the young people.

Old Believers have preserved this tradition to the modern times, at least to like the 1980s.



You only wear white shirts and white slacks/pants?
Yes, for any clothes that are touching the skin only.
 

Stoyan

Pelican
Orthodox
Is “Russkie” derogatory? I wouldn’t call myself a “gringo” for example. Just curious.
Derogatory? No, not at all. It is the name of the people.

The word "Russian" in the English language is ambiguous, having different meanings in different contexts.

First there is the Russki people, Русский народ, русские. It is a specific nationality, it is a specific ethnic group. They built the civilization of Russia from the ground up. There is Russki people, there is Russki culture, there is Russki language. A Russki can be born outside of the territories of the modern Russian Federation state, and still be Russki. For example Russkies in Ukraine and Belarus, or Russkies Old Believers in Oregon.

Usually when people say the word "Russian" in the English language, they mean from the Russian Federation state. These people may or may not be necessarily be Russkies. The word is Rossiyane, Россияне. This word was made up by Boris Yeltsin. It means anyone with Federation citizenship. The word "Rossiyane" is very cumbersome to pronounce, and sounds like "UnitedStatesian" instead of "American".

That is why I specifically use the adjectives "Russki" and "Federation" in the English language. So use the former when reffering to the people/ethnicity and use the latter when reffering to the government/military.
 
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MrsD

Pigeon
Woman
Orthodox
Jokes aside, although a T shirt can be appropriate clothing in some situations, such as sports. In my mind, T shirts are juvenile clothing, for boys, for children and teenagers. I don't want to appear juvenile. I think that men, adults should wear more dignified clothing, such as long sleeve shirts with buttons.

Plain T shirts are fine I guess, for informal settings. But nowadays especially many T shirts have pictures drawn on them. I don't like that, because many people use T shirts for virtue signaling or propaganda. T shirts with corporate logos, cartoon/video game characters, Star Wars, memes, political slogans, edgy or nerdy slogans. It's just bad taste, which hints that the man is not very sophisticated.

Also by not wearing a T shirt I want to psychologically distance myself from the American worldly culture, and all of it's associated materialism and spiritual decay, such as the stereotypical "soy man".
My husband is like this to a T. (See what I did there?)
My husband only wears a T-shirt undershirt, or an athletic T-shirt when working out. My father was the same, except like Starlight’s father mine wore collared polo shirts which were short sleeved. But always collared shirts. My brother who is a very juvenile person is quite fond of T-shirts.
My husband says no serious man over 25 wears T-shirt and or shorts except when working out. Short pants and short sleeved shirts are for children, not men he says. I would be confused if he put on a graphic tee. It would be out of character. He’s a serious person, as am I. I don’t wear logo/graphic T-shirts either. If it’s hot, he rolls the sleeves to 3/4.
Also long sleeves required for men when visiting monasteries. Not saying we follow all monastery dress guidelines in our lives at all times, but just an interesting side note.
And PS imho men's shoulders and general frame look better in collared shirts.
 

Starlight

Kingfisher
Woman
Protestant
My husband is like this to a T. (See what I did there?)
My husband only wears a T-shirt undershirt, or an athletic T-shirt when working out. My father was the same, except like Starlight’s father mine wore collared polo shirts which were short sleeved. But always collared shirts. My brother who is a very juvenile person is quite fond of T-shirts.
My husband says no serious man over 25 wears T-shirt and or shorts except when working out. Short pants and short sleeved shirts are for children, not men he says. I would be confused if he put on a graphic tee. It would be out of character. He’s a serious person, as am I. I don’t wear logo/graphic T-shirts either. If it’s hot, he rolls the sleeves to 3/4.
Also long sleeves required for men when visiting monasteries. Not saying we follow all monastery dress guidelines in our lives at all times, but just an interesting side note.
And PS imho men's shoulders and general frame look better in collared shirts.
Today it was 105 F… People dress however they can to stay cool and I don’t blame them.
 

Solitarius

Robin
Catholic
Today it was 105 F… People dress however they can to stay cool and I don’t blame them.
Arabs, Berbers & Persians live in hot countries & they don't go about in t-shirts & shorts. For the matter of that neither did British or French soldiers & colonists in their various African & Asian colonies. One can dress for hot weather without losing one's dignity. T-shirts, shorts & other such types of clothing are used by those who must not be named as a weapon in their arsenal of psychological warfare to degrade & demoralize those they consider to be human cattle.
 
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