What did you do to become more interesting?
- Thread starter Iso
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JayD
Woodpecker
After changing my body language in bars, clubs, approaches I definitely see different reactions and receptiveness from people.
Being relaxed, present and comfortable in the social situation parlays that into women when they notice you.
Combined with good fashion sense they will be more intrigued. Have a key item that women can comment on, for example a necklace or cool jacket.
I see plenty of guys here who pretty much dress and look the same, have a varied style where you can dress in a similar way but have a statement piece that makes you different.
Being relaxed, present and comfortable in the social situation parlays that into women when they notice you.
Combined with good fashion sense they will be more intrigued. Have a key item that women can comment on, for example a necklace or cool jacket.
I see plenty of guys here who pretty much dress and look the same, have a varied style where you can dress in a similar way but have a statement piece that makes you different.
AntiMediocrity
Woodpecker
Mountaineering was the game changer for me, especially solo. I have my drinking stories, but there's no feeling of pride when I recall them and the reaction is also underwhelming.
But when I tell them about wild camping at 2,000m above sea level with no-one else around, I am received with awe. "Haven't you ever had an animal encounter?" "Actually, the only one I've ever had was about 50 metres from a road. I was sleeping in a tent and I heard some rustling. I actually thought it might be a person so I said "Hallo?"". That always brings up laughter.
"But it's scary, being alone no?"
"Not really, I'm more afraid of being with someone, something happens to them and I have to break the news to their family. If something happens to me, they deal with the trauma and the pressure"
"Wow, I never saw it like that"
People really need to experience things on a solo basis more. At least then you can tell the story instead of someone else in your group.
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When it comes to actually sounding interesting, one of the best things I learned while reading self-help books was that there's no such thing as a boring subject, only a person who makes it sound boring. If you're really passionate about something, or can at least speak passionately about it, ears cannot close. Nowadays you might have to compete with someone's smartphone, unfortunately.
But when I tell them about wild camping at 2,000m above sea level with no-one else around, I am received with awe. "Haven't you ever had an animal encounter?" "Actually, the only one I've ever had was about 50 metres from a road. I was sleeping in a tent and I heard some rustling. I actually thought it might be a person so I said "Hallo?"". That always brings up laughter.
"But it's scary, being alone no?"
"Not really, I'm more afraid of being with someone, something happens to them and I have to break the news to their family. If something happens to me, they deal with the trauma and the pressure"
"Wow, I never saw it like that"
People really need to experience things on a solo basis more. At least then you can tell the story instead of someone else in your group.
______________________________________________________
When it comes to actually sounding interesting, one of the best things I learned while reading self-help books was that there's no such thing as a boring subject, only a person who makes it sound boring. If you're really passionate about something, or can at least speak passionately about it, ears cannot close. Nowadays you might have to compete with someone's smartphone, unfortunately.
Dropped out of uni. Chose an interesting career. Travelled a lot. Gained knowledge in every field I could.
3extra said:
This is what I came here to say and for the most part, every single post in this thread is echoing. The question is "what did you do to become more interesting"...
The answer, no matter what it is, always says the same thing:
"I became interested"
Captian Blackbeard
Chicken
Watch dos dos equis ads. Emulate.
Made 3 feature films.
Moved to Europe for 3 years.
Read a new book a month.
Got married.
Worked out.
Learned nutrition.
Got divorced.
(Tried to) learn 3 new languages.
Took salsa dancing classes.
Became location independent for work.
Started a side business.
Took kickboxing classes.
Went to meetup groups.
Fucked more; tried all the things I thought I would want to do while fucking.
Backpacked through forests & mountains (fucked on top of a mountain).
Visited wineries and learned how to taste wine.
Taught myself many cooking skills.
In short... lived.
Moved to Europe for 3 years.
Read a new book a month.
Got married.
Worked out.
Learned nutrition.
Got divorced.
(Tried to) learn 3 new languages.
Took salsa dancing classes.
Became location independent for work.
Started a side business.
Took kickboxing classes.
Went to meetup groups.
Fucked more; tried all the things I thought I would want to do while fucking.
Backpacked through forests & mountains (fucked on top of a mountain).
Visited wineries and learned how to taste wine.
Taught myself many cooking skills.
In short... lived.
I second what Suits said, learn to tell a story.
It's one of the first things people notice about me, when I start talking the whole room stops to listen. I gesture, I change the tone and pitch, I give those details that make the listener feel like they were there with me, I build anticipation and give clear beginnings, middles, and ends.
It helps that I've traveled and sought out adventure. However, it would all be for naught if I couldn't tell how it all went down.
"There I was, butt naked on the lake enjoying the sun/on a cruise with in the Caribbean/lost in one of the Capitol sub-basements/holding a jack russell terrier in my arms as a pack of wolves stepped out of the woods/having dinner with the prime minister..."
Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.
It's one of the first things people notice about me, when I start talking the whole room stops to listen. I gesture, I change the tone and pitch, I give those details that make the listener feel like they were there with me, I build anticipation and give clear beginnings, middles, and ends.
It helps that I've traveled and sought out adventure. However, it would all be for naught if I couldn't tell how it all went down.
"There I was, butt naked on the lake enjoying the sun/on a cruise with in the Caribbean/lost in one of the Capitol sub-basements/holding a jack russell terrier in my arms as a pack of wolves stepped out of the woods/having dinner with the prime minister..."
Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.
I have a lot of odd, interesting, borderline anarchic thoughts running through my head all day long.
Because I am naturally agreeable and was raised to be polite, I have self censored to the point that I almost don't hear my own thoughts.
When I just say what I am thinking, my life gets about ten times brighter, and I find myself bantering with counter girls where the other customers are all just watching, or starting loud and entertaining fake arguments with passersby.
As long as I keep my comments positive or neutral in tone of voice, not negative, I can say the most outrageous things to girls who work in Pharmacies, supermarkets, wherever, and they play along to the point of surreality.
The problem is that my inner censor is always saying, you can't say that, or that is too weird, or it is so in control that I don't even think of saying what I think.
Obviously, there are some things you can't say, and you have to be calibrated, but for me, when I can let myself be free to express what I am thinking in the moment, I am as interesting as can be.
Because I am naturally agreeable and was raised to be polite, I have self censored to the point that I almost don't hear my own thoughts.
When I just say what I am thinking, my life gets about ten times brighter, and I find myself bantering with counter girls where the other customers are all just watching, or starting loud and entertaining fake arguments with passersby.
As long as I keep my comments positive or neutral in tone of voice, not negative, I can say the most outrageous things to girls who work in Pharmacies, supermarkets, wherever, and they play along to the point of surreality.
The problem is that my inner censor is always saying, you can't say that, or that is too weird, or it is so in control that I don't even think of saying what I think.
Obviously, there are some things you can't say, and you have to be calibrated, but for me, when I can let myself be free to express what I am thinking in the moment, I am as interesting as can be.
Dalaran1991
Ostrich
Everyday I get reminded of how some guys who really suck with women actually have much more interesting lifestyle and life experience than I do.
It really comes down to being able to sell yourself, or bullshitting and it worked on "higher" quality women too.
I second storytelling, but utlimately it comes down to this: you are interesting if you can make people feel like they are interesting and important.
That's really all there is to it, you dont need bullshit marketing/business degree to know this truth.
So when you are telling your story, you must elicit strong emotion in your audience, and you must make them want to be a part of your story.
For girls this translate into making her want to be on an "adventure" with you.
I do salsa/bachata dancing too and TBH I'm an average dancer, yet girls love dancing with me because I make them feel good. In contrast there's a guy I know who is 10x better dancer, but girls avoid him because he makes them feel like they are noobs. No girl ever wants to be with a guy who makes them feel inferior.
It's getting harder because people and girls notably nowadays are looking for stimulation and instant gratification, instead of experience. So your story telling has less hook than it was before. It always just comes down to being a better saleman of your own self.
It really comes down to being able to sell yourself, or bullshitting and it worked on "higher" quality women too.
I second storytelling, but utlimately it comes down to this: you are interesting if you can make people feel like they are interesting and important.
That's really all there is to it, you dont need bullshit marketing/business degree to know this truth.
So when you are telling your story, you must elicit strong emotion in your audience, and you must make them want to be a part of your story.
For girls this translate into making her want to be on an "adventure" with you.
I do salsa/bachata dancing too and TBH I'm an average dancer, yet girls love dancing with me because I make them feel good. In contrast there's a guy I know who is 10x better dancer, but girls avoid him because he makes them feel like they are noobs. No girl ever wants to be with a guy who makes them feel inferior.
It's getting harder because people and girls notably nowadays are looking for stimulation and instant gratification, instead of experience. So your story telling has less hook than it was before. It always just comes down to being a better saleman of your own self.
I was born interesting.
I need to drink to make other people interesting.
I need to drink to make other people interesting.