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What did you do to become more interesting?
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<blockquote data-quote="Araveug" data-source="post: 1090121" data-attributes="member: 11778"><p>From my perspective there are many little seeds of truth so far on this thread, I will try to weave some of them together and develop the concept a bit…</p><p></p><p>Also, I am assuming OP means with men or women, and not just gaming. </p><p></p><p></p><p>For the purposes of our context, being interesting is like having a toolkit - different tools have different purposes, some tools work together but, overall, your tool kit will hopefully get you results. I think the point here is to lead an interaction, keep an interaction going, DHV, build attraction etc. As a side note, being interesting and being attractive share a considerable mount of the same territory amongst men. We know attraction is not purely physical. If you want to engage someone with a specific goal in mind (goal of becoming interesting), you have to make them feel something, anything, good. The best way to do that is to relate to them somehow, depending on your read of the situation. Everything is a tool to make them feel something. Any hobby or activity has to actually appeal to you on a real level - YOU MUST BE CONGRUENT - this cannot be overstated, I mean look at Trump if you need proof. </p><p></p><p>Following are some truths already mentioned with my thoughts:</p><p></p><p>Work out - yea, this helps. But just going to work out does not make you more interesting. If you are consistent and have a good routine/program with good diet you will absolutely be more confident in everything you do (thus more congruent) and, to a degree, be a walking dem of high(er) value. </p><p></p><p>Travel - This is a good one but, unless you are simply trying to get the D into the V that night, you actually should demonstrate an interest in where you traveled. Insights into their culture, politcs, religion many other options etc. For people who are genuinely interested, it will be natural to try to understand a new place - it just comes out in conversation naturally, they seek out specific places, they go on certain websites. These people are focused without trying to be. </p><p></p><p>Dress Well - if you’re fit, this helps even more. But it also helps everyone else. There are a million guys dressing well. You want to be interesting. Yes, please dress well but don't expect a pat on the back. You are just meeting a standard, not becoming more interesting by doing this. One caveat to this is if you can find a very unique accessory you may be able to intrigue some people, get some conversations started, but not sustained. </p><p></p><p>‘Cut out lame friends’ - I would change this to ‘Seek higher caliber friends’. You don’t have to cut anyone off to make new friends who are operating on levels above you. You’d be amazed at the insight/stories you will get spending time with high caliber people. Networking, networking, networking. Obviously, you need to be a solid conversationalist to get this dialed in, but something to keep in mind. </p><p></p><p>Toastmasters/Storytelling - One of the responses nailed it by going agains the grain with the storytelling. A lot of people think telling stories will make them more interesting, but if you are not careful it will just make you look like a tool who likes the sound of his own voice. If an interaction is dying and you think you have a story that flows well, then go for it. Otherwise keep in mind that there is a difference between HAVING stories and TELLING stories. I like to think of each story I have as a way to relate to people; I may drop little bits and pieces as they are telling me a story to show them I can truly relate to what they are talking about - worst case they feel understood/connected, best case they ask me about my story/experience. I blended toastmasters into this point because this is the basic skill/ability to confidently speak to other individuals/groups. This is vital. Toastmasters & stories/storytelling cues are a tool to get your amazingly interesting info out there.</p><p>Develop a thirst for knowledge - I am a history guy. It really is just the story(s) of people and places. History is happening right now. One day, people will look back and study the 21st century - well, I get to immerse myself in this historical period, we all do. If you find yourself in a position where not a lot of things seem interesting/appealing to you, then maybe you should consider going down the medical route (thyroid, other hormones, vit D). One could file this under ‘Zest for life’ - no homo. </p><p></p><p>The list above could be extended by hundreds of items. As I sit here and consider this whole concept I realize that a productive ambition would be to have the CAPABILITY (not need) to speak intelligently into 99% of conversations happening around you. If someone starts talking quantum mechanics, I’m fucked - then I just go to into curiosity mode - sincerely engaged and asking questions…all the while with zero fucks to give that this guy/gal knows more than me in this context.</p><p></p><p></p><p>If I could summarize this in a line it would be ‘Be curious and an excellent communicator.’ Curiosity will get you content and communication is the nuts & bolts. </p><p></p><p>I hope this helped someone besides just me, I had never put this together, even in my head. Thanks for the good question.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Araveug, post: 1090121, member: 11778"] From my perspective there are many little seeds of truth so far on this thread, I will try to weave some of them together and develop the concept a bit… Also, I am assuming OP means with men or women, and not just gaming. For the purposes of our context, being interesting is like having a toolkit - different tools have different purposes, some tools work together but, overall, your tool kit will hopefully get you results. I think the point here is to lead an interaction, keep an interaction going, DHV, build attraction etc. As a side note, being interesting and being attractive share a considerable mount of the same territory amongst men. We know attraction is not purely physical. If you want to engage someone with a specific goal in mind (goal of becoming interesting), you have to make them feel something, anything, good. The best way to do that is to relate to them somehow, depending on your read of the situation. Everything is a tool to make them feel something. Any hobby or activity has to actually appeal to you on a real level - YOU MUST BE CONGRUENT - this cannot be overstated, I mean look at Trump if you need proof. Following are some truths already mentioned with my thoughts: Work out - yea, this helps. But just going to work out does not make you more interesting. If you are consistent and have a good routine/program with good diet you will absolutely be more confident in everything you do (thus more congruent) and, to a degree, be a walking dem of high(er) value. Travel - This is a good one but, unless you are simply trying to get the D into the V that night, you actually should demonstrate an interest in where you traveled. Insights into their culture, politcs, religion many other options etc. For people who are genuinely interested, it will be natural to try to understand a new place - it just comes out in conversation naturally, they seek out specific places, they go on certain websites. These people are focused without trying to be. Dress Well - if you’re fit, this helps even more. But it also helps everyone else. There are a million guys dressing well. You want to be interesting. Yes, please dress well but don't expect a pat on the back. You are just meeting a standard, not becoming more interesting by doing this. One caveat to this is if you can find a very unique accessory you may be able to intrigue some people, get some conversations started, but not sustained. ‘Cut out lame friends’ - I would change this to ‘Seek higher caliber friends’. You don’t have to cut anyone off to make new friends who are operating on levels above you. You’d be amazed at the insight/stories you will get spending time with high caliber people. Networking, networking, networking. Obviously, you need to be a solid conversationalist to get this dialed in, but something to keep in mind. Toastmasters/Storytelling - One of the responses nailed it by going agains the grain with the storytelling. A lot of people think telling stories will make them more interesting, but if you are not careful it will just make you look like a tool who likes the sound of his own voice. If an interaction is dying and you think you have a story that flows well, then go for it. Otherwise keep in mind that there is a difference between HAVING stories and TELLING stories. I like to think of each story I have as a way to relate to people; I may drop little bits and pieces as they are telling me a story to show them I can truly relate to what they are talking about - worst case they feel understood/connected, best case they ask me about my story/experience. I blended toastmasters into this point because this is the basic skill/ability to confidently speak to other individuals/groups. This is vital. Toastmasters & stories/storytelling cues are a tool to get your amazingly interesting info out there. Develop a thirst for knowledge - I am a history guy. It really is just the story(s) of people and places. History is happening right now. One day, people will look back and study the 21st century - well, I get to immerse myself in this historical period, we all do. If you find yourself in a position where not a lot of things seem interesting/appealing to you, then maybe you should consider going down the medical route (thyroid, other hormones, vit D). One could file this under ‘Zest for life’ - no homo. The list above could be extended by hundreds of items. As I sit here and consider this whole concept I realize that a productive ambition would be to have the CAPABILITY (not need) to speak intelligently into 99% of conversations happening around you. If someone starts talking quantum mechanics, I’m fucked - then I just go to into curiosity mode - sincerely engaged and asking questions…all the while with zero fucks to give that this guy/gal knows more than me in this context. If I could summarize this in a line it would be ‘Be curious and an excellent communicator.’ Curiosity will get you content and communication is the nuts & bolts. I hope this helped someone besides just me, I had never put this together, even in my head. Thanks for the good question. [/QUOTE]
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