What happens to people who abuse children in the afterlife?

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Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
What happens to people who deliberately abuse and neglect children (and abuse vulnerable adults too) in the afterlife? None of them are practicing Christians and this seems to be most cases and they certainly will never repent. Then what if they are practicing Christians or claim to be and go to church?
 
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Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
In addition, can I request prayers for me? As I to this day have ptsd from the psychological abuse and neglect I endured throughout my whole childhood and even adulthood. I pray to God to help heal me but sometimes triggers happen and I can’t stop crying. I feel I was born in the wrong family.
 
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Kitty Tantrum

Kingfisher
Woman
Catholic
and they certainly will never repent.
This is not our call to make. Whether someone appears to be a practicing Christian or not. It is not ours to know whether repentance is realistically on the table for another person. The people you thought were hopeless might astonish you, and the ones you thought to be on the right track might sorely disappoint.

Ultimately, what will happen to those people who fail to repent, in the afterlife, is far less important/relevant to us than what must happen within our own hearts in this life: forgiveness.

It seems unwise to speculate on the potential eternal punishments of those who have wronged us, although I completely understand the impulse to do so. But it is a diversion of one's energy away from what God has commanded of us, which is to forgive.

If we seek some kind of satisfaction in speculating that a person will "get what they deserve" instead of praying that they will repent and open their hearts and accept the salvation that literally none of us deserve but are offered anyway... we impede our own salvation when we desire vengeance for ourselves more than salvation for others.

Those who really do never repent, well, we know they'll be punished. Are the details important to us, though? Their punishment isn't the thing that will heal us. Their suffering is not our peace.

Maybe "easy for me to say" when I do not actually know the identities of those responsible for the worst traumas of my childhood, which is a very different thing from growing up steeped in familial betrayal. I am very sorry that you were not protected and cared for by your family in the way you should have been. I will pray for you.

I have a lot of garbage from childhood that I am also still working through and trying to heal from, and it is very hard and feels extremely unfair. I don't wanna make it sound like I've got it all figured out, because I do not.

But I think leaving vengeance to God is critical. I think we punish ourselves much more than we realize, when we don't.
 

EntWife

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
It can be hard to forgive, to state the obvious! I've found that it helps to remember that hell is terrible, and you really wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.

What if they do go to hell? Do you really want them to suffer the torments of hell because of anything to do with you?

Better to pray, "God, please don't let them suffer because of me!"
 

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Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
Thanks for your replies. I want to make clear that I do pray that they do repent and turn to God and become Christian. The issue is that they are so full of pride and other sins, they are in a deep hole so to speak and undeniably are under a lot of demonic influence. They have blasphemy Christianity many times too. Theoretically, they can turn into Christians through enough prayers. Then there are some who have already passed on and never became Christians nor repented before they passed on, that I am certain of.

As for Entwfe who said that we should not wish hell on our worse enemies, that is absolutely right. This is a true Christian heart. However, those people’s fate they caused upon themselves and chose to live a life of sin and against Christ in their own free will. To add, this is not only about me as they have hurt others and themselves especially through sins against God.

I however need to work on my anger and sincerely forgive these people. Though the depths of harm they have done to me makes it very hard. This is a case where it is easier said than done.
 
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EntWife

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
Thanks for your replies. I want to make clear that I do pray that they do repent and turn to God and become Christian. The issue is that they are so full of pride and other sins, they are in a deep hole so to speak and undeniably are under a lot of demonic influence. They have blasphemy Christianity many times too. Theoretically, they can turn into Christians through enough prayers. Then there are some who have already passed on and never became Christians nor repented before they passed on, that I am certain of.

As for Entwfe who said that we should not wish hell on our worse enemies, that is absolutely right. This is a true Christian heart. However, those people’s fate they caused upon themselves and chose to live a life of sin and against Christ in their own free will. To add, this is not only about me as they have hurt others and themselves especially through sins against God.

I however need to work on my anger and sincerely forgive these people. Though the depths of harm they have done to me makes it very hard. This is a case where it is easier said than done.
It's true that God won't violate their free will. If they choose Satan and sin over God and virtue, they will end up in hell. But, as they used to say, where there's still life, there's hope.

Did anyone think that Shia LaBeouf, of all people, would become a Catholic? A Latin-Mass-loving Catholic, at that? You never know what's in someone's heart.

Isn't there some song about "Don't give up believing", or something like that? In this case, don't give up praying for them and believing that God loves them. If they repent, He'll forgive them.

And you can always hope that the ones who have already passed had a change of heart before they died. Maybe God got through to them before the end, and you just don't know it. You can still pray for them in any case. God knows you still love them. Death doesn't kill love.
 

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Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
And you can always hope that the ones who have already passed had a change of heart before they died. Maybe God got through to them before the end, and you just don't know it. You can still pray for them in any case. God knows you still love them. Death doesn't kill love.
I was there for these specific family members till the end. They did not return to God and Christ and certainly did not repent before their passing. They even said that they did not believe in an afterlife. They were to prideful to believe in God, the Bible or Christ, thinking they were too intellectually superior to believe in that “nonsense” according to them it was only low intelligent people who believed in that. One of them said it to my face and said the other deceased family members to them directly as well. As for praying for them, their fate has already been decided, so I don’t know what to do, especially from what I know of their lack of Christ and God in their lives and sinful behaviors I am afraid they are not in a good place. I don’t like that but as I said before, they chose their fate in their own free will and decided their pride and other sins but especially pride was more important to them than God and Christ. Believe me it brings me great shame that my family members were like that. Not only the harm they did to me but also did to other people.
 

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Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
I was there for these specific family members till the end. They did not return to God and Christ and certainly did not repent before their passing. They even said that they did not believe in an afterlife. They were to prideful to believe in God, the Bible or Christ, thinking they were too intellectually superior to believe in that “nonsense” according to them it was only low intelligent people who believed in that. One of them said it to my face and said the other deceased family members to them directly as well. As for praying for them, their fate has already been decided, so I don’t know what to do, especially from what I know of their lack of Christ and God in their lives and sinful behaviors I am afraid they are not in a good place. I don’t like that but as I said before, they chose their fate in their own free will and decided their pride and other sins but especially pride was more important to them than God and Christ. Believe me it brings me great shame that my family members were like that. Not only the harm they did to me but also did to other people.
Fyi, when one of my family members died he did with his eyes open. When he was living his eye color was a medium blue with a touch of green. However, when he died with his eyes open they were a bright glassy GREEN color. His overall facial expression was one of fear. I find that let me just say very suspicious… He lived his life as a very sinful and evil person. Granted he had a traumatic childhood too as he was abused and neglected in a similar manner like I was. However he chose to be evil and was an overly prideful person, yet was a complete slob, he dressed in raggedy clothes and lived in filth. He saw Christ believers as intellectually inferior to him, though he was not a genius himself though he thought he was one. He worked jobs that paid just barely above minimum wage. He went as far as to claim his IQ was 180. He said this to me when he knew that I knew he was lying. He didn’t even go to a real college/university but to one of those institutes that accept everyone as long as they pay the high tuition fees. Smh. He also did very traumatically evil things to me (And to other people too.)
It can be hard to forgive, to state the obvious! I've found that it helps to remember that hell is terrible, and you really wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy.
What if they do go to hell? Do you really want them to suffer the torments of hell…
I suspect that many people intentionally choose hell (assuming they believe there may be an afterlife). They find heaven as “boring” and “uncool” and hell as “exciting man party on dude” to these types it seems hell is like a death metal concert. Fire blazing everywhere with their favourite death metal music blaring nonstop and they will be jamming their heads, making the devil horns with their hands and being in moshpits for the rest of eternity. It is not until the moment they die that they realize that hell is nothing like they would like it to be and it does not hit them until it is way too late. They think choosing satan and hell makes them “brave” and “fearless” but it is true when it is too late they realize that hell is terrible beyond what they can ever imagine.
 
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IconWriter

Woodpecker
Woman
Orthodox
Gold Member
I was told by my priest that those that die who rejected God, the Holy Trinity, do go to hell, but the hell is that they chose to turn their backs on God, and yet, God is everywhere. So they, who cannot stand to be in His presence, ARE still in His presence and that causes agony.
 

Elipe

Ostrich
Protestant
The Christian heart seeks reconciliation, not vengeance. To love someone, even someone who by all earthly accounts you should hate, is to desire that reconciliation on a newly turned-over leaf. To relate to that person the way it should have happened in the first place, in love and fellowship, and mutual honor.

That is the best balm for a wounded heart. After all, God did that for us. We wounded Him and gave Him every reason to hate us, even to the point of crucifying His Son (even if you're not Jewish, the fact that the Romans enabled the Crucifixion means that Gentiles also crucified Him by their sins). I mean, imagine having a child that did nothing wrong and a mob suddenly just shows up and nails him to a cross while mocking and beating him. If anything was to make you jump into a helicopter and shoot some hellfire missiles, that would be it. But God did something even better than that: He turned the hearts of some of those who were in that mob, and started over with them on a new leaf. So instead of dumping fire and brimstone on them, He made them into His own children, and they repented of what they had done.

He had every right and reason to just pull up all the lava in the earth with such force that it would shower everywhere on earth, drop asteroids on the earth, and make the sun explode to wipe everything out. Being God the Creator, He had the right, and being the Father of a crucified Son He had the reason. But thankfully, He figured out a better way to deal with the situation: in love.

And yes, it defies absolutely every aspect of human reasoning. And rightfully so! For human reasoning, since we are made in the image of God, is that justice must be served. But thankfully, the Crucifixion is the justice being served. Justice has already been done in Christ. Therefore, if those people who hurt you came to repentance and confess that Jesus is Lord, then the justice that should have been done to them has been done in Christ. Their punishment has been meted out fully - against Christ. God's vengeance against that person is satisfied fully in Christ. Just like how His vengeance for your sins has already been satisfied in Christ. The blood of Christ is infinitely far more valuable than the blood of mere men and women. The infinity of Christ's sacrifice is sufficient for all believers, for all time.

So in a very poetic manner of speaking, the greatest way you can take vengeance on those people... is to turn them to Christ.
 

Thanks

Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
In addition, can I request prayers for me? As I to this day have ptsd from the psychological abuse and neglect I endured throughout my whole childhood and even adulthood. I pray to God to help heal me but sometimes triggers happen and I can’t stop crying. I feel I was born in the wrong family.
Since my family is Christless, they have done nothing to help me find a husband. I suspect the idea of me getting married makes them jealous. Especially my father he has been jealous of every boyfriend I ever had since high school and always finds fault with them and comes up with “clever” and “creative” faults and even exaggerates so-called negative traits or makes them up out of thin air. Now I am single and figured out I will not tell him when I enter in a courtship. I want to disown him in a way. However, now he is helping me financially, only so he has control over me to a degree. It is purely for selfish reasons. He manipulated me to live in a country in Europe I don’t want to live in but he likes and visits multiple times a year. I am living in a two bedroom roomy apartment and when he visits he stays in the second bedroom. We have ancestry in this country. I have lived in this country before and a couple of years ago I decided I did not want to live in this country again. I wanted to move to Eastern Europe and my plan was to teach English there. My dad got furious and screamed at me till I was balling, taunting me like how was I going to get the money to move there. Then literally in my grandfather’s deathbed, which was a very vulnerable time, obviously. He manipulated me and begging me to move to the country he wanted me to move to, instead of Eastern Europe. He said if I moved to the country he wanted me to move to, he would help me out financially, and said he would NOT help me out if I went to Eastern Europe. Selfish, I know! Then I reluctantly went along with what he wanted. I had rapport with a tefl/English teaching school in EE and even paid a few hundred Euro down payment but my dad did not care. Then I moved to said country and things went wrong especially trying to work as an English teacher. It is the most competitive country in Europe for that. Then the covid lockdowns happened and everything closed. So this made me more dependent of my dad financially. He does not care about me being happy, he only cares about himself. In a perfect world he would be a good Christian man helping his daughter financially while helping her find a husband. As I said, he implied in many ways that he never wants me to get married and have a family of my own and to be happy. He is a prideful man though he commits every sin, especially slothfulness, greed and anger. I will even go as far as saying that it seems he may “pray” to the universe or “the creator” a la satan that I never find the love of my life and never get married because luck has not been on my side. If I do get married then it is over for him, he loses control over me, and another man, my would be husband gets it.

Since some months ago did I become a devout Christian again. I spend a lot of my time in prayer. When I told my dad that I started attending Mass, he replied in a condescending tone, “well if it works for you.” I have been praying to God to get me out of this abusive relationship with my dad. Also been praying everyday to God for a husband and a family of my own. Especially a good Christian man. Now I know that this is not a case where two families join, because my family is nuts. All of them are complete leftists and political. This is why I want to move to a place as far away from them as possible. I hope and pray to find a good Christian man especially one that comes from a good family.

Sorry for this long post, but I can use some more prayers pertaining to this situation. I am ultimately to blame since I fell for my own father’s manipulation, the man I am supposed to trust the most and who is supposed to have my best interests in his heart. He only has HIS own best interests in his heart. I am ashamed of myself for letting myself be tricked and brainwashed. I repent. Let me also add I am on the autism spectrum and my dad and other family members use it against me to benefit their egos, instead of helping me in a constructive way. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
 

Thanks

Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
The Christian heart seeks reconciliation, not vengeance. To love someone, even someone who by all earthly accounts you should hate, is to desire that reconciliation on a newly turned-over leaf. To relate to that person the way it should have happened in the first place, in love and fellowship, and mutual honor.

That is the best balm for a wounded heart. After all, God did that for us. We wounded Him and gave Him every reason to hate us, even to the point of crucifying His Son (even if you're not Jewish, the fact that the Romans enabled the Crucifixion means that Gentiles also crucified Him by their sins). I mean, imagine having a child that did nothing wrong and a mob suddenly just shows up and nails him to a cross while mocking and beating him. If anything was to make you jump into a helicopter and shoot some hellfire missiles, that would be it. But God did something even better than that: He turned the hearts of some of those who were in that mob, and started over with them on a new leaf. So instead of dumping fire and brimstone on them, He made them into His own children, and they repented of what they had done.

He had every right and reason to just pull up all the lava in the earth with such force that it would shower everywhere on earth, drop asteroids on the earth, and make the sun explode to wipe everything out. Being God the Creator, He had the right, and being the Father of a crucified Son He had the reason. But thankfully, He figured out a better way to deal with the situation: in love.

And yes, it defies absolutely every aspect of human reasoning. And rightfully so! For human reasoning, since we are made in the image of God, is that justice must be served. But thankfully, the Crucifixion is the justice being served. Justice has already been done in Christ. Therefore, if those people who hurt you came to repentance and confess that Jesus is Lord, then the justice that should have been done to them has been done in Christ. Their punishment has been meted out fully - against Christ. God's vengeance against that person is satisfied fully in Christ. Just like how His vengeance for your sins has already been satisfied in Christ. The blood of Christ is infinitely far more valuable than the blood of mere men and women. The infinity of Christ's sacrifice is sufficient for all believers, for all time.

So in a very poetic manner of speaking, the greatest way you can take vengeance on those people... is to turn them to Christ.
Like I stated earlier, I pray everyday that the living family members who have abused me will turn around and live a life in Christ and repent. So all we can do is wait and see… The thing is the demonic influence, selfishness and sin in them is so heavy, that they are too prideful, however God and Christ have the power to change that. They have had success without God’s help, so this is why to this day they see no reason to turn to God.
 

bmw633

Woodpecker
What happens to people who deliberately abuse and neglect children (and abuse vulnerable adults too) in the afterlife? None of them are practicing Christians and this seems to be most cases and they certainly will never repent. Then what if they are practicing Christians or claim to be and go to church?
My wife separated from me, taking everything in the house, even the appliances, and my 3 year old and 18 month old daughters, thinking she could do better than me. I was so distraught over I took a drug overdose, but a friend found me in time.

We divorced, she rode the CC for a few years, and
Met this guy and married him within months. She had 2 more kids with him, even paid for him to go back to school.

Ex wife was an RN who loved working night shift, so she had a free babysitter with new hubby. He decided to make my older daughter, who was 7 years old at the time, be his sleep partner while mom was working night shift. Molested and raped her repeatedly for 18 months, before the truth came out.

This was almost 30 years ago. Last week the Parole Board notified me that he has a parole hearing. Last year it was denied. He got a 30 year sentence and has been locked up 28 years. A part of me still wants to kill him when he is released.

My daughter, although she denies this, has PTSD, and it affects her relationship with others.

What bothered me the most was my ex wife getting a pass, acting as if she was the victim, of endangering our kids with a person she had not properly vetted.

After he was jailed, my child support was split to subsidize the child molester’s kids!!! And not a thing I could do about any of it.

I knew I could not go to court, because I would have tried something stupid to try to kill him, so I stayed home and worked my job to keep my mind off of things. The ex told my daughters I did not show because I did not care!!!!

Hope there is an extra bad place down in Hell for him.
 

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Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
My wife separated from me, taking everything in the house, even the appliances, and my 3 year old and 18 month old daughters, thinking she could do better than me. I was so distraught over I took a drug overdose, but a friend found me in time.

We divorced, she rode the CC for a few years, and
Met this guy and married him within months. She had 2 more kids with him, even paid for him to go back to school.

Ex wife was an RN who loved working night shift, so she had a free babysitter with new hubby. He decided to make my older daughter, who was 7 years old at the time, be his sleep partner while mom was working night shift. Molested and raped her repeatedly for 18 months, before the truth came out.

This was almost 30 years ago. Last week the Parole Board notified me that he has a parole hearing. Last year it was denied. He got a 30 year sentence and has been locked up 28 years. A part of me still wants to kill him when he is released.

My daughter, although she denies this, has PTSD, and it affects her relationship with others.

What bothered me the most was my ex wife getting a pass, acting as if she was the victim, of endangering our kids with a person she had not properly vetted.

After he was jailed, my child support was split to subsidize the child molester’s kids!!! And not a thing I could do about any of it.

I knew I could not go to court, because I would have tried something stupid to try to kill him, so I stayed home and worked my job to keep my mind off of things. The ex told my daughters I did not show because I did not care!!!!

Hope there is an extra bad place down in Hell for him.
My condolences for you. I felt so sad reading this I weeped a little. I feel you. The child molestar will certainly live in the torments of hell for eternity when he dies! And if your ex-wife doesn’t repent and turn to Christ her afterlife will not be good neither.
 

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Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
I have sinned of course but ONE sin I have NEVER done is abuse children. This is a MORTAL sin. Theoretically they can repent but the sin is so horrific, that it takes a person who lacks empathy to commit such horrible abuse. Therefore, I find it unlikely that they will ever repent and turn to God and Christ. Since abusing children takes an EVIL heart and soul to do. Sure we can do the Christian thing and pray that they do repent and turn to God, but the evil that is already inside of them will prevent them from ever turning to Him. I was accused of wanting vengeance. Uh no, whatever happens to them in the afterlife and Jesus and God do NOT take kindly to abusing children. If they do end up in the torments of hell for eternity, it is because the child abusers CAUSED it upon themselves! It has nothing to do with wanting vengence! The abusers caused it upon themselves and stick their noses up at God and Christ because they do not really believe in them.
 

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Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
This is one of the most disturbing threads I've read on the forum. I will pray for you and the other posters. I hope that you seek counsel with a priest. God bless you.
Yes and thanks for your prayers. I am currently looking for an English speaking priest in the area I live, as the one in my Parish doesn’t speak English. I need an English speaking priest so I can go more in depth.
 

EntWife

Kingfisher
Woman
Orthodox
I have sinned of course but ONE sin I have NEVER done is abuse children. This is a MORTAL sin. Theoretically they can repent but the sin is so horrific, that it takes a person who lacks empathy to commit such horrible abuse. Therefore, I find it unlikely that they will ever repent and turn to God and Christ. Since abusing children takes an EVIL heart and soul to do. Sure we can do the Christian thing and pray that they do repent and turn to God, but the evil that is already inside of them will prevent them from ever turning to Him. I was accused of wanting vengeance. Uh no, whatever happens to them in the afterlife and Jesus and God do NOT take kindly to abusing children. If they do end up in the torments of hell for eternity, it is because the child abusers CAUSED it upon themselves! It has nothing to do with wanting vengence! The abusers caused it upon themselves and stick their noses up at God and Christ because they do not really believe in them.
There was a man in ancient times who was a terrible person, a bandit, who hurt many other people. One day, he saw a pregnant woman in the countryside, with no one else around. He wondered how the child grew inside the mother.

This monster cut the woman open to find out, thereby killing both her and her baby.

Looking at the dead mother and child, he was horrified at what he had done. This very great sin of his caused him to change his life. He went to a monastery and spent the rest of his life in repentance. Then he also died.

This man, because of his deep repentance, is now a saint, in the heavens praying for us. He is in the Prologue of Ohrid, by St. Nikolai.

There is no sin that God cannot forgive.
 
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