In answer to your last sentence... sort of, yes. But it doesn't strike me as a negative, whereas the word "automaton" definitely holds a negative connotation. I think of it more like gravity, kind of; a love so strong and pure and powerful that it magnetically pulls me in.Well, I'm in no ways condemning you for your beliefs, everyone holds various beliefs of how they make sense of the world at different times. Aligning with a Reformed church with the TULIP doctrine was the last Protestant step in my Christian journey.
Regarding the repentance of a murderous father, all people no matter how depraved can return to the truth. We have no idea why depraved people are depraved, and we have no idea if God has hardened their hearts (because they first denied Him). We are to treat all as if they have the ability to repent. Who knows what drove that man to murder his child. He could have an already weak man, who had been abused as a child, abused drugs/alcohol to cope, who then went through a painful separation with a spiteful ex-wife/girlfriend who's using the child as a power token to extract wealth, and furthermore plans to make the a forced gender transition, and the man saw this slitting of the throat as the lesser of two evils. Point is, you never know people's life history or what's going through people's heads, and a 500 word newspaper article never goes into detail. All we can do, is learn to hate the sin, and love the sinner.
The Orthodox had to deal with a similar notion back in the fourth century (the heresy called Donatism), the Donatists believed that some of those who apostatized under persecution couldn't be accepted back. I know of it, but not in too much detail for the potential repentance of sinners never really bothered me.
"Irresistible grace" falls under the same category as my first post, it removes man's will and reduces people to automatons. Do you believe you had absolutely no choice in whether or not you returned to a belief in God?