What to do when you don't care about anything?

[tomzestatlu]

I think that this situation can be hardly changed by changing one thing in life, like getting new hobby. Maybe your current life doesn´t bring you enough stimulus for your mind. I would look at it from the roots and eventually change it. Make it that every day would be a challenge. Get out of the comfort zone.

Maybe some external motivation can help

 

[Travesty]

Getting involved in a community of friends and family you see and share experiences with and care about on a frequent and consistent basis.

No fitness routine, chick, drug, or cash gives you that - they can enhance it.

If your friends aren't a joy to be around find better friends. I've had to cut a lot of lifelong friends to only keep the good ones.

Having a great dog or two is also nice.

Fuck cats though they are for complete fags.

I think when you have this everything in life becomes more interesting especially for those that don't have inborn constant competitive drive to succeed at very high levels of things.

 

[Hoser]

Iso, take a look at the ADHD thread here on RVF. If you at all recognize the stuff they're talking about, then start researching the subject independently. ADD is more than a concentration disorder, it's an executive function disorder, where you can know fully WHAT you should do, and you can INTEND to do it, but you find you often can't bring yourself to do it unless it's pleasurable or if you'll experience immediate pain from not doing it. Am I barking up the right tree here?

ADD, I just learned a few days ago, is the SINGLE MOST TREATABLE psychiatric disorder. If you suffer from it, there's no need for you to stay trapped in that pit.

 

[Cr33pin]

Well I guess you just don't give a fuck

 

[Iso]

Iso, take a look at the ADHD thread here on RVF. If you at all recognize the stuff they're talking about, then start researching the subject independently. ADD is more than a concentration disorder, it's an executive function disorder, where you can know fully WHAT you should do, and you can INTEND to do it, but you find you often can't bring yourself to do it unless it's pleasurable or if you'll experience immediate pain from not doing it. Am I barking up the right tree here?

ADD, I just learned a few days ago, is the SINGLE MOST TREATABLE psychiatric disorder. If you suffer from it, there's no need for you to stay trapped in that pit.

That sounds exactly like I what experience. I want to change but I don't have the willpower to change. I can't force myself to do things to improve myself. I wish I could.

 

[Iso]

I need advice on what I should be doing when I have no hobbies or interests? I have a difficult time being truly interested in any 1 thing. At best, I take interest in something for about a month before I end up quitting and never thinking about it again. I am simply not passionate about anything in life. Girls are the only thing I am somewhat interested in. But, even with that, I am not motivated enough to do the things necessary to become great with women. I am going through the motions of life. Just doing what I need to move on. Content with being mediocre. I don't feel happy. I don't feel anger either. I don't feel sadness. I don't feel joy. I just feel nothing.

Growing up, I cared a lot about watching sports. I really got into it. I felt joy when my teams won. Sadness when they lost. Nowadays, I barely care. My teams don't move the needle for me emotionally anymore. I used to love playing video games. Played them for hours per day. I haven't picked up a video game in a year.

I wish I could find something that interested me. Occasionally I will join a class or try a new hobby. I don't feel connected to those hobbies when I try it. I am not passionate enough to enjoy them or continue doing it.

What should I be doing about my lack of interest in life?

There are many great ideas above. Maybe you should make a list of all of them, and start checking them off one by one. I am curious though...what do YOU think that you should do? Sometimes the best answers come from within, and it is just support you need.

I've written a checklist before. It included things like working out, cooking more, yoga, meditation, learning to dance, approaching 100 girls, taking new classes, etc. yet I still never had the willpower to force myself to do those things. I kept telling myself I would do it, but my body is fighting me from doing it. I know what I need to do. I just need to know how I can force myself to do it.

 

[Boldoff]

Wait what the hell do you do all day?
Do you not get bored of lazing around?

First things first: risk mitigation.

You need to do drastic things to change your situation; trust me I was in your position not long ago.
What do I mean by risk mitigation?
Get rid of your computer, destroy it. Get rid of your smartphone, destroy it. Smash your Xbox with a hammer until it's in bits and pieces. Don't think of the "value" you lose from destroying these items. Make no mistake, this is to save your life.

You have proven to yourself that you are not to be trusted with these items.

Take all processed foods and throw them away.

You are lethargic bc the situation lends itself to that.
If you have no source of distraction, you will feel compelled to take action.
99% of your problems are also most likely dietary/nutritional.
The fact you play video games should tell you that you are not "lethargic" bc video games are engaging the mind in logic the same way doing something productive would.

 

[heavy]

I had a mild case of this in my late 20s. When I hit early 30s, the impending timeline of life hit me quickly. You will get older. You will want some $cratch. You're lack of caring will catch up with you.

Start caring now to beat that anxiety.

(I guessed your age before I read it. I suspect, while this may not be common, it's not uncommon for single dudes. I suspect it's a man's value rising (most guys look most attractive late 20s to mid 30s) followed by hitting 30 when T drops a bit. The guy starts getting chicks just because of looks and how he carries himself, so they get a taste of high value. This is followed by drop in T which reminds us of the unavoidable aging process and hot young babes eventually slipping away.)

 

[Iso]

99% of your problems are also most likely dietary/nutritional.
The fact you play video games should tell you that you are not "lethargic" bc video games are engaging the mind in logic the same way doing something productive would.

Reread my posts. I said that I quit playing video games a while back. Barely touched one in years after playing them non-stop for years.

 

[rafaeld]

Start a martial art and get hit in the face a few times. That should sober you up right quick.

 

[DimeBait]

I'm in a similar boat. I'm 41, and even some of my hobbies that I've been doing for years, building cars, motorcycles, etc no longer interest me enough to justify the time, effort and money. I used to be politically, professionally and socially active but now, If it doesn't make dollars, it just doesn't make sense to invest my time & effort into.
I got tested for low testosterone recently and my levels were fine. I'm thinking I might just have to make myself try a bunch of new shit to see what sticks.

 

[XPQ22]

You need a hobby or job that engages both your mind and hands more. The best way I've found to avoid that feeling depression and emptiness, the one that people try to fill (to no avail) with drugs, alcohol, buying stuff, and meaningless sex is to do something that engages your creativity - something where when you're finished you can say to the world "Look, here is a thing nobody has ever done before.

Pick up a musical instrument, or buy some music production software, learn another language, take a writing class, learn to repair cars, take drawing lessons, study mathematics.

And you have to stick with it. Unfortunately, things don't really become enjoyable until you're pretty good at doing them. Playing a musical instrument for example is not much fun for anyone when just starting out. That's the breaks - you must stick with it for the payout.

Ever considered electronics? Everyone I know who learned a skill like building circuits or writing code and stuck with it long enough ended up pretty happy (and wealthy), and AFAIK never gave it up voluntarily until they passed on.

The world is thirsty for men who think things, do things and make things.

The Art of Electronics

 

[debeguiled]

I'm in a similar boat. I'm 41, and even some of my hobbies that I've been doing for years, building cars, motorcycles, etc no longer interest me enough to justify the time, effort and money. I used to be politically, professionally and socially active but now, If it doesn't make dollars, it just doesn't make sense to invest my time & effort into.
I got tested for low testosterone recently and my levels were fine. I'm thinking I might just have to make myself try a bunch of new shit to see what sticks.

In the spiritual literature of the early Christian mystics, this kind of plateauing out on things that used to bring meaning and enjoyment was not considered, on the spiritual level, to be negative, and the Spanish mystic Juan De La Cruz even made up a name for it, "The Dark Night of the Soul."

I realize you guys aren't talking about spiritual practice, though I think the same underlying principle of human psychology might apply.

The idea was that you continue in life with all your habits and practices that work for you until you reach a point where your soul has learned all it can from these things, and is ready to move on to something new.

Consciously you are unaware of it, and only feel a barrenness of spirit, like life has lost some of its meaning, and so you attach a negative interpretation to it, like there is something wrong with you.

This manifested itself in the mystics when all of their normal prayers and comtemplations that used to bring them closer to God suddenly stopped working, and they felt as if they no longer had any connection to a higher consciousness.

It took men like De La Cruz to explain that this need not mean that anything was wrong with you or your life, but only that you were ready to move on to something new.

Your summary at the end of your post is as succinct as any epigram from a mystic, and would be the secular guy's equivalent of the solution to the dark night of the soul.

I'm thinking I might just have to make myself try a bunch of new shit to see what sticks.

 

[questor70]

In the spiritual literature of the early Christian mystics, this kind of plateauing out on things that used to bring meaning and enjoyment was not considered, on the spiritual level, to be negative, and the Spanish mystic Juan De La Cruz even made up a name for it, "The Dark Night of the Soul."

The funny thing is that Return of Kings and this forum underneath it is the "house that Roosh built" from moving up the ladder of PUA mastery and these days Roosh himself seems to be moving away from it and into broader political activism due to hedonistic adaptation. I'd be surprised if Roosh ever writes another PUA book at this point. He might even pull an Anne Rice and start renouncing some of his past work.

https://soundcloud.com/kingmakerpodcast/the-danger-of-the-hedonic-treadmill

You can see a similar pattern of reaching the mountaintop of earthly pleasures and then renouncing it with, let's say, Prince, or David Bowie when he married Iman and dropped out of the limelight to raise his new daughter.

When you're standing at the bottom of the mountain it seems like a worthwhile goal to get to the top, but it pays to look at these examples of people who climbed to the top only to realize that all that glitters is not Gold.

When you're young, getting a notch feels like a deep personal validation, but then you realize how so much of women giving it up for guys is ultimately more about them than you as an individual then it starts to feel like just a short-term transactional exchange.

I don't mean to piss on anybody's aspiration to rack up notches, but over the long haul I think people need a deeper purpose.

 

[Hoser]

Q70: very observant of you. Keep that attitude. Use it to fuel your quest for Truth.