What would you do if your wife was infertile?

This seems like a very personal question that differs case by case. I have made it clear to my gf who I have a kid with and that does not want more that I will be having kids with other women.
 

Barron

Ostrich
Gold Member
SilentOne said:
To abandon someone who I consciously made a pact with over something they have no control of is silly. I'm with her for a reason. As long as she is ok with me having kids with someone else, I'd stay put.
If the pact was made with the assumption of fertility... I disagree
If the pact was made with the knowledge of infertility.. I agree
 
JiggyLordJr said:
Divorce is out of the question. Unless you're stone cold, it's hard to do that to an infertile women. Borderline evil.

Get another woman pregnant. Assuming you want kids (you should), this is the only other option. Find one with the best genes (beautiful, high IQ), and you're good to go.

The positive of this somrhwta dismal situation is you can raw dog your wife with no worries. Gotta look at the bright side.

I don't think its out of the question if the infertility cannot be helped. You guys really think that this hypothetical wife would be A-OK with you having sex with her Sister or some other 9/10 surrogate. LOL. Good luck with that. Most likely the wife in our hypothetical would be pushing you to donate your sperm for IVF so that the Doctors can do the "impregnating" of your sperm and a woman's egg. Or artificial insemination of your sperm into a consenting woman's body. Please, stop with the fantasies of screwing other women while you are married...
 
I echo what another poster said about trying to conceive before getting married. Not going to lie, would be pretty devastated if I got married then found out she's infertile. With the realization that marriage is rigged these days, you are incentivized to not get married and instead have a long term partner for numerous reasons.
 

Athanasius

Kingfisher
I've seen it happen.

The answer is to fulfill your vows to your wife, just as she would be expected to do if you found out later that you were the 'infertile' one. "Forsaking all others..."

God has different plans for different people.
 

Christhugger

Kingfisher
If there are any aspects of modernity between the sexes that are valid at all, surely divorcing your barren wife must be among them.

She has not been "ruined" for other men (men who don't want children), nor is she helpless to get a job and support herself.

It's an unfortunate situation, but a 21st century man should not feel obligated to subject his future 2nd wife and children to such an unusual family situation because of an outdated code of honor.

It is clearly more imorral to subject your children to such a thing, than it is to say goodbye and send the first wife away to have her own life journey without you.
 

Rush87

Ostrich
Adoption is for cucks. If in some hypothetical scenario I didn't know she was infertile before we got married - Divorce. I can't see any other option working. Everyone should know prior to married however. Proposing isn't some overnight situation you just stumble into blindly.
 
redbeard said:
What would you do if this happened to you? It seems to me there are only a few options.
-Divorce
-Adoption
-IVF
-Impregnate another woman
Don't get married. 15% of children aren't the child of the mother's husband anyway. And if you do IVF half the time another man's sperm, whether it is the doctor or a lab tech or even a janitor, is substituted for yours. This is a no win game.
 
Assuming one wants a traditional way of having their own children then you divorce and marry a different one.
Or you can just adopt. Really depends on the person.

I'm not even close to a 'having a child' mindset yet so I can't really weigh in but I'd assume a lot of people nowadays would go for adoption.
 

buja

Woodpecker
I'd have her follow Dr. Wallach's protocol.
He says that he's got many women pregnant!

He uses nutrition and the elimination of harmful foods.

...I'd have her do this anyway to eliminate the chance of birth defects.
 

infowarrior1

Hummingbird
Prayer. Isaac,Sarah and Hannah prayed for an open womb. And they eventually got their wish after some time.

God has opened wombs before I dont think he will not do so know.
 

redbeard

Hummingbird
Moderator
redbeard said:
What would you do if this happened to you? It seems to me there are only a few options.

-Divorce
-Adoption
-IVF
-Impregnate another woman
I've since reversed my stance. None of those options are viable in the Catholic faith and I do not recommend them.

If your wife is infertile, you are called to create "children" through other means, either through adoption or becoming a church elder. It's still your responsibility to care for your wife (as Joseph housed Mary) and you shouldn't even consider leaving her.

From the Catechism:

2379 The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord's Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.
As far as prevention goes, the best thing you can do is marry young. This is a time-tested method for guaranteeing offspring.

Some commenters recommended knocking her up before the wedding. This is obviously wrong, since that requires having sex before marriage. Although this guarantees you have kids, it hurts your marriage and could also damage you and her in the process.

Even if you're totally head over heels for a girl, there's no way to be 100% sure you'll get married until you walk down the aisle. By having sex before marriage, even when you're engaged, you open yourselves up to the risk that you don't get married, and just added another notch to your count. This risk is even greater if you have a child out of wedlock, and now create a single mother.

Part of the beauty of marriage is that it takes faith. There are a million and one ways your marriage could turn sour. But, if it was easy, everyone would do it. The fact that marriage could absolutely destroy you means that a successful marriage is that much more of a testament to its magnificence.

Instead of trying to "play God" and make sure everything works out just as you intend it, we're called to trust in God's plan. Take chances. Love your wife as Christ loves us, and everything will work out.
 

hkhathaj

Pigeon
You have to do all possible to avoid that situation:

* Only marry a young and healthy woman (with low notch count if possible).
* Use high healthy fat, low carb and low autoimmune diet on her. Also use high intensity training if necessary. (This heals endometriosis which is the NO1 cause of infertility of women.)
* Make sure the woman is not on the pill when she meets you. This will help much to filter out a woman who has incompatible immune system to you. (There is a thing that a pair does not fit each other and is infertile for this reason but when pairs are bonding in a natural environment then they normally find matching partners.)

If you do that all then you have a high chance to avoid the problem.
 

kel

Pelican
I've got three women pretty solidly ready to move to the farm with me (and a few other maybes), and they all know each other and that I'm seeing multiple women. The three are all in their 30s, like me, so it's very likely at least one will be infertile. I'm preparing for this by making sure (repeatedly) each understands what this community we're creating is about and what their responsibilities and rights (in that order) are. The women will be in charge of raising the children - nurturing physically, emotionally, and intellectually for their entire childhood, especially the first twelve years before they become young men and women. That means even if you can not bear a child, you are still a matriarch in this community, you have very important work to do and you will be expected to perform it. Giving them this responsibility is an honor and that breeds trust and accountability.

And to be clear, I think monogamy is preferable to polygamy for society at large, but this current society is sick on a more fundamental level, there are simply not enough men ready to man up, so this is what I'm doing. I will be raising my children to aim for monogamy in the new world we will be a part of creating. Don't get on my ass about this.
 
Neither Christianity nor Western Civilization recognizes polygamous “marriage”. A man who attempts it either marries one woman legally and commits adultery with others, or marries none legally and fornicates with more than one.
 
Easiest way to figure this all out is get tested. I got tested when I was single and I have high sperm quality and count. I am approximately 30% more fertile than the average father (not man). I then ask the girls to see a doctor. The last three girls I dated had fertility problems so it was good I brought it up. One hadn't said anything right away but had to get an emergency hysterectomy from car accident a few years earlier. The second had a hormone disorder which causes fertility problems. The third had a blood disorder which causes very high risk pregnancies and the doctor said "You can have one kid when the stars align on your blood tests but please don't try to have more" and I am of mind to have 4 or more kids. SMH. None of them had any sort of outward appearance of issues at all.

Girls being infertile appears to be a very big problem.

I would never adopt a rando. If I already had a bunch of kids and like a family member died I would gladly take that child but no adopting some little african baby for me. Nope.
 
PandaSmile said:
Easiest way to figure this all out is get tested. I got tested when I was single and I have high sperm quality and count. I am approximately 30% more fertile than the average father (not man). I then ask the girls to see a doctor. The last three girls I dated had fertility problems so it was good I brought it up. One hadn't said anything right away but had to get an emergency hysterectomy from car accident a few years earlier. The second had a hormone disorder which causes fertility problems. The third had a blood disorder which causes very high risk pregnancies and the doctor said "You can have one kid when the stars align on your blood tests but please don't try to have more" and I am of mind to have 4 or more kids. SMH. None of them had any sort of outward appearance of issues at all.

Girls being infertile appears to be a very big problem.

I would never adopt a rando. If I already had a bunch of kids and like a family member died I would gladly take that child but no adopting some little african baby for me. Nope.
Having yourself tested and the woman you are seeing is not a bad idea in this day and age. Unfortunately, infertility is a huge issue that does not get enough public attention because it would of course make women look bad. The girl in my last relationship ended up being infertile.
 

Rob Banks

Pelican
What is the opinion of forum members/what is the Christian view on "in vitro" fertilization (IVF)?

I am personally against it because they fertilize 10 or 15 eggs at a time and then a doctor selects the "healthiest" embryo and all the rest are killed. This is wrong on so many levels, from the killing of human embryos to the doctor "playing God" and choosing who will live and die.

Also, I believe that men's and women's bodies have natural ways to ensure that the strongest sperm fertilizes the strongest egg. With IVF, this gets negated. The sperm fertilizing the egg may not be the strongest.

But what if this was your only option? What if your wife could not get pregnant the natural way (or she was too old)? Would you consider IVF?

EDIT: I see that the health and financial aspects of IVF were discussed earlier in this thread. However, no one talked about the moral/ethical aspects that I outlined above.
 
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