When do men decide to settle down?

Blade Runner

Hummingbird
Orthodox
I don't expect them to know, I expect other people to tell the truth, which is the point of the forum. I think the saddest part is that people find out the hard way always, no matter what we want or expect - at least most people do.
 

Cynllo

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
it is my thought that the men who are ready to be the alpha provider simply do not sell themselves enough.

I think this is true, but I'm sure you won't get much of a reception to it in Western countries. But I think if a guy tells everyone quite forthright what he is looking for, some might latch onto it. I'm not from the US, which may be better in some areas. But in my country, you are really looking hard to find a woman who is specifically looking for marriage at a young age.

It works pretty well in LatAm, as las carinas are often looking for marriage, owing to it being a very good option for them. While it is not viewed in that way in the West. Some girls I've spoke to in foreign parts have been really impressed by what I am looking for and what I said about myself, including using the word "speechless". While in the West they are also speechless. Speechless in that they can barely be bothered to say anything. It's rare to find a Western women who shows one ounce of interest and won't leave you carrying the conversation.

There's two or three upcoming trad events where you can 'advertise' that you are attending and what you can offer.

What are these? I'm going to a conference in about a week. It's not specifically trad, but it is likely going to have traditionally minded people, in a country that is almost completely opposed to homosexuality. But there is a good chance I will be the youngest person there.

I don't know why more men aren't buxxmaxxing their dating strategy if you are actually ready for a wife and family.

It doesn't seem to make much difference to me.
 

Blade Runner

Hummingbird
Orthodox
It works pretty well in LatAm, as las carinas are often looking for marriage, owing to it being a very good option for them. While it is not viewed in that way in the West. Some girls I've spoke to in foreign parts have been really impressed by what I am looking for and what I said about myself, including using the word "speechless". While in the West they are also speechless. Speechless in that they can barely be bothered to say anything. It's rare to find a Western women who shows one ounce of interest and won't leave you carrying the conversation.
Another point on the incentive aspect of life. If there is no perceived option or understanding of a potential gain, then there is indifference. That's what is sad, is they don't know that big picture there is major incentive (they just don't think so now).
 

christie2

Woodpecker
Woman
Non-Christian
I think this is true, but I'm sure you won't get much of a reception to it in Western countries. But I think if a guy tells everyone quite forthright what he is looking for, some might latch onto it. I'm not from the US, which may be better in some areas. But in my country, you are really looking hard to find a woman who is specifically looking for marriage at a young age.

It works pretty well in LatAm, as las carinas are often looking for marriage, owing to it being a very good option for them. While it is not viewed in that way in the West. Some girls I've spoke to in foreign parts have been really impressed by what I am looking for and what I said about myself, including using the word "speechless". While in the West they are also speechless. Speechless in that they can barely be bothered to say anything. It's rare to find a Western women who shows one ounce of interest and won't leave you carrying the conversation.



What are these? I'm going to a conference in about a week. It's not specifically trad, but it is likely going to have traditionally minded people, in a country that is almost completely opposed to homosexuality. But there is a good chance I will be the youngest person there.



It doesn't seem to make much difference to me.
oh best of luck at this trad conference you're going to, what a unique position to be the youngest there. Don't forget that people older than you, know people your age so be sure to talk to everyone, e-ver-y-one.
To be always on, to be always thinking your selfdescription will reach the ears of a girl you require.
If you sense a glimmer of hope by someone who casually mentions they know a single girl who fits your needs, that is your opportunity to say "can we get a picture together? Now let's use your phone so you can show the young miss when you talk about who you met here...oh and here's my contact info"
(do you have cards you can get ready before this conference?)

Be bold, be brave, you've got this! Be unashamedly detailed in what you can offer and what you are looking for. I am praying for you now.

The two upcoming trad events are in the United States: one on Saturday and one next month.
tradforum.com(September)and uncutmountainpress.com(October)Screenshot_20220914-161633_Chrome~2.jpg
 

Attachments

  • Screenshot_20220914-161223_Chrome.jpg
    Screenshot_20220914-161223_Chrome.jpg
    642.9 KB · Views: 10
Last edited:

TMarie

Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
I don't expect them to know, I expect other people to tell the truth, which is the point of the forum. I think the saddest part is that people find out the hard way always, no matter what we want or expect - at least most people do.
Parents should encourage their children to get married, have children and stay chaste until marriage, but most don't. I don't even hear priests tell people this in their sermons. This is where the problem begins. There is no other way but the hard way if no one will discuss it.
 

messaggera

Pelican
Woman
Other Christian
Kind regards @TMarie . Hoping all is well with you.
Would you be so kind to clarify, and to provide how adult men publically message to adult women how to dress and to behave as "hot" ?

Can you give me some examples of the confusing messages being perpetuated by women and what do you mean by lack of accountability? I know they have been encouraged to dress immodestly by main stream society. I have often see mothers and daughters both wear tight revealing clothes, so you know in these cases their daughters have no idea they are doing anything wrong, I have even seen dads walking next to their daughters who were wearing tight revealing shorts without saying a word to them. It is accepted as normal today. But I was referring to women who do it to get the attention of men. I am in complete agreement with the fact that the young girls toys encourage promiscuity, along with media and entertainment.

[Sincere] Do you truly believe it is the adult men who are giving the adult women confusing messages about public [behavior that conforms to accepted standards of morality or respectability]? The confusing messages (as you stated) being men want women to dress inelegant and graceless (to look hot with revealing/accenting attire) in public.

Is it the fault of the men (because of their messaging) that the women are acting and dressing to consumed modern fashion trends/styles; which is a form of deceived feminine/beauty/sexual empowerment?

Are you asking for specific examples / evidence; or asking for premises and an inference for the following proposition on attention seeking women:

The confusing messages are [made into a bad situation, a belief, etc. and continued for a long time] by women; more so than men.​
The lack of accountability from women is why we have these modesty issues in Western society.​

The latter (premises and inference) can be found throughout RVF.

One example, for lack of behaviour accountability by women, is how many women encourage other women to dress to impress with the sole purpose to make temptation that will contribute to her inflated pride and ego.
 

Blade Runner

Hummingbird
Orthodox
Don't forget that people older than you, know people your age so be sure to talk to everyone, e-ver-y-one.
I'm curious as to your ideas on what could or should be done buy "buxxmaxing". The problem 30s and 40s men have with matches, even if they are quite successful with careers/money and look fine (younger than they actually are, let's say) is that older people and women (would be "connectors") tend to fall into the cultural bailout of women's desires, which is the older spinster who was "unlucky" to get passed by, is fat or ugly, or did the carousel game. Only men understand, by and large, that men desire age gaps to make a relationship "worth it". A certain portions of American men even hate that because they usually would be envious of another (older) man getting a younger girl.

It turns out that if there is even a hint of a 35-40 year old guy going out with a 20-something in the culture as being "weird", "creepy" or whatever other dumb adjective one can think of, the society has no interest in promoting men or properly addressing women for marriage, as they are more into the gynocentric attitude of the modern ethos - which is that whatever men desire in relationships should be discarded, or downplayed to the maximum.
 

AdorationoftheCross

Sparrow
Woman
Orthodox
My brother is having a lot of trouble finding a good traditional woman himself. He's ready to settle down! It's very hard right now as the available people seem to be wrong or seem attractive but not interested at all in settling down.

I think the intellectual component is very much overlooked here. It's hard to find someone to keep a proper conversation with, and those who do I consider very lucky!
 

TMarie

Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
Kind regards @TMarie . Hoping all is well with you.
Would you be so kind to clarify, and to provide how adult men publically message to adult women how to dress and to behave as "hot" ?



[Sincere] Do you truly believe it is the adult men who are giving the adult women confusing messages about public [behavior that conforms to accepted standards of morality or respectability]? The confusing messages (as you stated) being men want women to dress inelegant and graceless (to look hot with revealing/accenting attire) in public.

Is it the fault of the men (because of their messaging) that the women are acting and dressing to consumed modern fashion trends/styles; which is a form of deceived feminine/beauty/sexual empowerment?

Are you asking for specific examples / evidence; or asking for premises and an inference for the following proposition on attention seeking women:

The confusing messages are [made into a bad situation, a belief, etc. and continued for a long time] by women; more so than men.​
The lack of accountability from women is why we have these modesty issues in Western society.​

The latter (premises and inference) can be found throughout RVF.

One example, for lack of behaviour accountability by women, is how many women encourage other women to dress to impress with the sole purpose to make temptation that will contribute to her inflated pride and ego.
My observation is that young girls in high school and college like the attention of guys. It is not women they are dressing that way for. Women don’t call other women “smokin hot”. They want guys to notice them and they think guys like them when they look and act a certain way. I saw a video of a woman breast feeding her baby and the guys walking by said it looked disgusting and she should cover up herself. Then another woman walked by with most of her body showing under her tiny tank top and the same guys said the woman in the tank top looked hot. Do men want women to be young mothers or look hot? I might be going off topic but I think the messages are confusing for young women.
 

TMarie

Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
My brother is having a lot of trouble finding a good traditional woman himself. He's ready to settle down! It's very hard right now as the available people seem to be wrong or seem attractive but not interested at all in settling down.

I think the intellectual component is very much overlooked here. It's hard to find someone to keep a proper conversation with, and those who do I consider very lucky!
I might be wrong but it seems people today have very high expectations. They want a person to be a certain age or to have a certain look, and not be too thin or too fat etc. Then they want a personality that is similar to them with the same likes and dislikes etc. When you add in the same religion and having the same dreams and goals in life, finding a mate becomes almost impossible. Before the internet a guy would marry the woman next door if she was of marrying age.
 
Last edited:

Cynllo

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
I might be wrong but it seems people today have very high expectations.

One issue is that those expectations are for typically for open-ended, secular relationships, that not only have no intended destination, but the if one party has the intended destination of marriage, it will typically be seen as some old-fashioned negative. They just want to get to know you and see where it goes.

It was very different in the not to distant past and in places like Russia, where the expectation of marriage is still embed into society. Women dated or date quite indiscriminately in these circumstances.

However, with marriage increasingly seen as some barbarous relic in the West, men are little more than accessories to young, modern women. In one of his old books, the eponymous creator of this forum described how the way to entice women is to be like a clown. Someone who is there to offer stream of constant amusement. You are a dopamine button.

There was some data posted in one of the secular dating related threads a few months ago. It confirmed what the forum and adjacent had put together from anecdotal evidence for some time. It covered about 20 years of data, and showed that the amount of men not in a relationship, or never in a relationship has ballooned. While the number of women in relationships has stayed exactly constant. It also showed that the point at which men and women are equally in relationships is about 35. For many men there will be precisely zero relationship up to that age.

Of young males I see three groups:

- ones who are in relationships with people suitable of them
- ones in relationships with women below their level
- ones not in relationships because their expectations cannot be met, or there is simply no one interested in them

Each account for about a third.

The expectations are almost all in women's ballpark. It's theirs to do what they want with. And we see the result is the majority can't deal with it, and end up experiencing heartbreak, treachery, lack of commitment, before they complacently settle for someone who is the sum of

This is the natural nature of women if left in an individualistic environment.

There is no solution, at large, for either individual men or women changing their behaviour.

The only solution is a return to traditional family values, with traditional ways of forming husband-wife pairings. As have been a facet of virtually every civilisation.

By and large it's only the custodians of the culture who have agency and responsibility.
 

christie2

Woodpecker
Woman
Non-Christian
I'm curious as to your ideas on what could or should be done buy "buxxmaxing". The problem 30s and 40s men have with matches, even if they are quite successful with careers/money and look fine (younger than they actually are, let's say) is that older people and women (would be "connectors") tend to fall into the cultural bailout of women's desires, which is the older spinster who was "unlucky" to get passed by, is fat or ugly, or did the carousel game. Only men understand, by and large, that men desire age gaps to make a relationship "worth it". A certain portions of American men even hate that because they usually would be envious of another (older) man getting a younger girl.

It turns out that if there is even a hint of a 35-40 year old guy going out with a 20-something in the culture as being "weird", "creepy" or whatever other dumb adjective one can think of, the society has no interest in promoting men or properly addressing women for marriage, as they are more into the gynocentric attitude of the modern ethos - which is that whatever men desire in relationships should be discarded, or downplayed to the maximum.
hmmm, first, I'm surprised a little that you are aware of that stigma or whatever word is more appropriate of the older guy younger woman.

I recognise your profile persona as one of the intelligent gameaware men here so you'd probably appreciate if I spent more time reading your post carefully.
I would like to reply to just what you posted to me without rereading through this entire thread to see what you've been most concerned with. Give me some time

ok, I want to remind you of something Rich Cooper has said once or twice and that is this..."Look at the source"

Meaning, look at me. How do I selfdescribe in the most cold, hard truth way? This is who you're interacting with Bladerunner.

I was just paused, thinking how I can't reveal anything that would encourage impressionble women reading to be anything other than traditionally minded. I can tell you this much...I've been working with almost all men now for about 30 years. I believe I am redpilled and I believe that test I took on fb whn I was still on there 2 summers ago, that concluded that I 100% think like a man.

I can tell you that I want men to succeed and that I admire them very much.

Now, how do men shortcircuit that stigma?

The first thing I can think of is the example of a blind young trad girl. Or a deaf young trad girl. Or limited in some other way.

Anyone that knew you were going to step up to marry and provide for a blind or deaf or other limitations girl would treat you like a hero.
You could be 39 and she could be 18 but this would totally be viewed as endearing that you loved her that thoroughly that you would be glad to carry that cross of the disability. Be honest, why are young trad disabled girls overlooked or forgotten about?

Let me see if I can think of another example.

Newly-adulted orphans?(an adult to me is 18+) You would be deemed a hero in the case of marrying an 18 yr old orphan who has no family. It would be supported by all people everywhere.
 
Last edited:

Cynllo

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
oh best of luck at this trad conference you're going to, what a unique position to be the youngest there. Don't forget that people older than you, know people your age so be sure to talk to everyone, e-ver-y-one.
To be always on, to be always thinking your selfdescription will reach the ears of a girl you require.
If you sense a glimmer of hope by someone who casually mentions they know a single girl who fits your needs, that is your opportunity to say "can we get a picture together? Now let's use your phone so you can show the young miss when you talk about who you met here...oh and here's my contact info"
(do you have cards you can get ready before this conference?)

Be bold, be brave, you've got this! Be unashamedly detailed in what you can offer and what you are looking for. I am praying for you now.

The two upcoming trad events are in the United States: one on Saturday and one next month.
tradforum.com(September)and uncutmountainpress.com(October)

The conference has nothing to do with tradition. It's just it's likely the people who go there will broadly be more traditional. At least compared to Western standards. I suspect the average age will be 60. And there will be people who speak three different languages there, so there will be language barriers, as I only speak one, plus a bit of another. But you are right about networking. I think it would probably be better for men to come into contact with parents, who then decide if they should introduce someone to their daughters.

On your post regarding being an alpha. I think that there is a minority of people who can be an alpha. In my life I can only think of one natural alpha. While all the others, who some might consider alphas, used some sort of tricks to mimic being an alpha. The natural alpha, just was alpha. He didn't need to try. It was natural for him. While others needed to use a combination of bullying, arrogance and various tricks to have some sort of alpha status. As soon as those mimics gave way, so did their alpha status. And I've seen it happen.

I'm not a natural alpha, and have no interest in adorning myself like a peacock and strutting about, pretending I am. In turn, attracting low-value women.

I am what I am. I have my traits and I've found they have not been particularly good at attracting women. This was counter what society led me to believe. When I have attracted women it has always been instant. I have never been able to game and worm my way into dopamine bombing a woman into liking me. Nor would I be able to. The women I can attract are all very similar. They have similar personalities (either bubbly girly who likes to be looked after, or demure and graceful woman who quietly longs for a a husband to cherish them and for motherhood). These are coincidentally the two types of women I am really attracted to. We are opposites in the way that men and women should be, but with the same vision and plan for life.

I don't have any cards.
 

christie2

Woodpecker
Woman
Non-Christian
The conference has nothing to do with tradition. It's just it's likely the people who go there will broadly be more traditional. At least compared to Western standards. I suspect the average age will be 60. And there will be people who speak three different languages there, so there will be language barriers, as I only speak one, plus a bit of another. But you are right about networking. I think it would probably be better for men to come into contact with parents, who then decide if they should introduce someone to their daughters.

On your post regarding being an alpha. I think that there is a minority of people who can be an alpha. In my life I can only think of one natural alpha. While all the others, who some might consider alphas, used some sort of tricks to mimic being an alpha. The natural alpha, just was alpha. He didn't need to try. It was natural for him. While others needed to use a combination of bullying, arrogance and various tricks to have some sort of alpha status. As soon as those mimics gave way, so did their alpha status. And I've seen it happen.

I'm not a natural alpha, and have no interest in adorning myself like a peacock and strutting about, pretending I am. In turn, attracting low-value women.

I am what I am. I have my traits and I've found they have not been particularly good at attracting women. This was counter what society led me to believe. When I have attracted women it has always been instant. I have never been able to game and worm my way into dopamine bombing a woman into liking me. Nor would I be able to. The women I can attract are all very similar. They have similar personalities (either bubbly girly who likes to be looked after, or demure and graceful woman who quietly longs for a a husband to cherish them and for motherhood). These are coincidentally the two types of women I am really attracted to. We are opposites in the way that men and women should be, but with the same vision and plan for life.

I don't have any cards.
hmm, ok, sounds like its just a numbers game thing with you. You might want to think on how to get the number of times you get exposed to women or the chance of meeting people that can introduce you to women they know(daughters, coworkers) up.
You have to go out more, seek out more people
 

TMarie

Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
One issue is that those expectations are for typically for open-ended, secular relationships, that not only have no intended destination, but the if one party has the intended destination of marriage, it will typically be seen as some old-fashioned negative. They just want to get to know you and see where it goes.

It was very different in the not to distant past and in places like Russia, where the expectation of marriage is still embed into society. Women dated or date quite indiscriminately in these circumstances.

However, with marriage increasingly seen as some barbarous relic in the West, men are little more than accessories to young, modern women. In one of his old books, the eponymous creator of this forum described how the way to entice women is to be like a clown. Someone who is there to offer stream of constant amusement. You are a dopamine button.

There was some data posted in one of the secular dating related threads a few months ago. It confirmed what the forum and adjacent had put together from anecdotal evidence for some time. It covered about 20 years of data, and showed that the amount of men not in a relationship, or never in a relationship has ballooned. While the number of women in relationships has stayed exactly constant. It also showed that the point at which men and women are equally in relationships is about 35. For many men there will be precisely zero relationship up to that age.

Of young males I see three groups:

- ones who are in relationships with people suitable of them
- ones in relationships with women below their level
- ones not in relationships because their expectations cannot be met, or there is simply no one interested in them

Each account for about a third.

The expectations are almost all in women's ballpark. It's theirs to do what they want with. And we see the result is the majority can't deal with it, and end up experiencing heartbreak, treachery, lack of commitment, before they complacently settle for someone who is the sum of

This is the natural nature of women if left in an individualistic environment.

There is no solution, at large, for either individual men or women changing their behaviour.

The only solution is a return to traditional family values, with traditional ways of forming husband-wife pairings. As have been a facet of virtually every civilisation.

By and large it's only the custodians of the culture who have agency and
I do agree we should go back to the traditional roles of husband and wife. It was once a common belief that a woman’s place was in the home. Women knew their obligations and their role in life and family was always their priority., but after the 70s the income men provided could not feed the family anymore and women were forced to enter the workplace. Since then the priority for women was to get a good job and you needed a good education for that. Girls were now encouraged to get good grades and go to college. Once in college the feminist indoctrination took over. No longer did women believe a family was most important. Add the popular music and movies into their programming and the fact that most had no religious upbringing it is not hard to understand why things are the way they are.
 

Cynllo

Pelican
Orthodox Inquirer
I do agree we should go back to the traditional roles of husband and wife. It was once a common belief that a woman’s place was in the home. Women knew their obligations and their role in life and family was always their priority., but after the 70s the income men provided could not feed the family anymore and women were forced to enter the workplace. Since then the priority for women was to get a good job and you needed a good education for that. Girls were now encouraged to get good grades and go to college. Once in college the feminist indoctrination took over. No longer did women believe a family was most important. Add the popular music and movies into their programming and the fact that most had no religious upbringing it is not hard to understand why things are the way they are.

On the bolded part. I think there are two things to consider.

Changes beget changes. For example if you allow millions of people to come into your country to work in unskilled jobs, this will displace teen workers, suppress wages etc. And those factors then change other, which change others... If women had remained largely out of the work place, many changes wouldn't have happened. There is a good chance we would be less wealthy, there would be more siblings sharing bedrooms, clothes etc. Women joining the workplace wasn't a necessity. Doing so has opened a very different path for society. Many issues relating of the cost of living stem from mass immigration and encouraging 50% of young people to go to university.

In 1800, a labourer could support a family of ten children and a wife. You could do the same today, so long as you lived in the same manner - no electricity, running water, few clothes, only a fireplace for heating, growing your own food, sending children off to work etc. There are still people who live like this, the Amish and Old Belivers as examples. And their lives are obviously much closer to God.

But people choose the modern world, rather than what is intended for most - raising a family.

As I have mentioned, I can easily support a woman and family. But it means nothing to the vast majority of women (particularly university educated). They don't really have the concept of marriage until death and rejection of divorce. They prefer to have a crack at the world themselves, often to find that it doesn't go where they thought it would. The point at which it becomes interesting for many women is when they have burned much of their beauty and feminine essence in the workplace.

If you are a man who has been busy storing up all your value over your youth, the Western world has on offer for you - a woman who has squandered most/all of hers.

So I think it's not so much that women have been forced into the workplace. There are a limited amount of men who can and want to keep a woman out of the workplace. But, women have been temped by the world - independence, finding themselves, academic and career achievements, partying, travelling, being cool, looking fashionable, being followed, engaging men who trip their dopamine receptors and whatever else.
 

TMarie

Sparrow
Woman
Catholic
On the bolded part. I think there are two things to consider.

Changes beget changes. For example if you allow millions of people to come into your country to work in unskilled jobs, this will displace teen workers, suppress wages etc. And those factors then change other, which change others... If women had remained largely out of the work place, many changes wouldn't have happened. There is a good chance we would be less wealthy, there would be more siblings sharing bedrooms, clothes etc. Women joining the workplace wasn't a necessity. Doing so has opened a very different path for society. Many issues relating of the cost of living stem from mass immigration and encouraging 50% of young people to go to university.

In 1800, a labourer could support a family of ten children and a wife. You could do the same today, so long as you lived in the same manner - no electricity, running water, few clothes, only a fireplace for heating, growing your own food, sending children off to work etc. There are still people who live like this, the Amish and Old Belivers as examples. And their lives are obviously much closer to God.

But people choose the modern world, rather than what is intended for most - raising a family.

As I have mentioned, I can easily support a woman and family. But it means nothing to the vast majority of women (particularly university educated). They don't really have the concept of marriage until death and rejection of divorce. They prefer to have a crack at the world themselves, often to find that it doesn't go where they thought it would. The point at which it becomes interesting for many women is when they have burned much of their beauty and feminine essence in the workplace.

If you are a man who has been busy storing up all your value over your youth, the Western world has on offer for you - a woman who has squandered most/all of hers.

So I think it's not so much that women have been forced into the workplace. There are a limited amount of men who can and want to keep a woman out of the workplace. But, women have been temped by the world - independence, finding themselves, academic and career achievements, partying, travelling, being cool, looking fashionable, being followed, engaging men who trip their dopamine receptors and whatever else.
There were two economic recessions in the 1970s, one dominating the years 1974–1975 and another the years 1979–1982. They are linked by being each initiated by increases in oil. In 1973–1974 OPEC quadrupled the price of oil exports and over the period 1978 to May 1980 doubled the existing price. When energy costs go up food prices go up. We are seeing this today, but it will be much worse now, as most families already bring in two incomes and they can barely get by with all their bills. Food and shelter is a family's first priority.
 

IconWriter

Woodpecker
Woman
Orthodox
Gold Member
My mother-in-law gave me this advice: Marry young! Then you can grow together.
(So we did, and have been married a very long time.) I recommend that women start "looking" while in high school and at church. Get to know and date as many as you can that you think would work out. That helps you discover what qualities you want in a husband, learn from your mistakes, and then work on nourishing that one relationship when you find him. Marry young! Then you can be flexible and plan your future together. Otherwise you both get set in your ways and it's harder to bend.
 

messaggera

Pelican
Woman
Other Christian
This statement made now is shifting the argument to high school teenagers and college women. We were discussing how you perceived adult men were giving confusing messages to dress inelegant and graceless (to look hot) in public:

My observation is that young girls in high school and college like the attention of guys. It is not women they are dressing that way for. Women don’t call other women “smokin hot”.

These are immature teenage/college males reacting to how young girls choose to dress. These young girls are seeking validation / attention through sexual appearance; there is no confusing messaging from males here only, a sexual reaction - based on the chosen attire from the females.

They want guys to notice them and they think guys like them when they look and act a certain way.

They want guys to notice their sexuality and guys are giving the attention they are seeking. There is no confusing messages from guys.
Females need to stop seeking self-worth through sexualising themselves - when females dress this way they are sexually objectifying themselves. Agree or disagree?

Do men want women to be young mothers or look hot? I might be going off topic but I think the messages are confusing for young women.

Not seeing the confusing messages coming from men; I am sorry to disagree. I see the problem with women perpetuating the sexulaisation of themseleves through chosen behaviour and attire. Women need to be held accountable to some degree for the lack of modesty in society.

God Bless you @TMarie
 

TheosisSeeker

Woodpecker
Orthodox Catechumen
I'm curious as to your ideas on what could or should be done buy "buxxmaxing". The problem 30s and 40s men have with matches, even if they are quite successful with careers/money and look fine (younger than they actually are, let's say) is that older people and women (would be "connectors") tend to fall into the cultural bailout of women's desires, which is the older spinster who was "unlucky" to get passed by, is fat or ugly, or did the carousel game. Only men understand, by and large, that men desire age gaps to make a relationship "worth it". A certain portions of American men even hate that because they usually would be envious of another (older) man getting a younger girl.

It turns out that if there is even a hint of a 35-40 year old guy going out with a 20-something in the culture as being "weird", "creepy" or whatever other dumb adjective one can think of, the society has no interest in promoting men or properly addressing women for marriage, as they are more into the gynocentric attitude of the modern ethos - which is that whatever men desire in relationships should be discarded, or downplayed to the maximum.

This is what tends to happen, the spinsters are served up while the others are not.

It's rare to succeed since you have to find a family and culture that is fine with an age gap. And I agree another issue is guys who because of envy will sabotage you.

The women who more resistent to outside programming are more independent and many times not wife material, like a 25 year old totally tatted 'hot' woman with an older guy. You can tell by looking at her she doesn't care what society thinks, but will she be a good wife? Doubt it.

That's why the family and culture is key, a family oriented woman with a strong father who knows the deal, usually found in other lands.
 
Top