Wife hunting in Russia

I decided to share my experience on finding LTR in Russia. Originally from Germany I came to Moscow to teach English in 2014. I’m not a professional teacher, just had obtained and ESL certificate and had some experience before. I spent 6 months in Moscow and then chose to relocate to Volgograd. First of all, Moscow was too expensive, second of all muscovite women are the most spoilt and entitled in all of Russia. I would avoid Moscow and St Petersburg for that reason and head to the provinces instead. In Volgograd the women are stunningly beautiful and in abundance, but some have bitchy personalities. In Nizhny Novgorod, Voronezh and Pskov where I traveled for work (doing translation work, attending speaking clubs) the women seemed a lot nicer but somehow less beautiful. In my experience the prettiest women in Russia live in Volgograd, Samara, Krasnodar, Kazan, Nizhny Novgorod. The nicest women in my experience lived in Nizhny Novgorod, Yaroslavl, Pskov and Voronezh. Interestingly enough my fiancé comes from Volgograd. In any case… here are some tips on how to attract, vet and maintain relationships with decent Russian women:
Don’t run after 9s and 10s all the time. They get plenty of attention from local men and might not consider you. Thing is, Russian men are pretty xenophobic. They believe every Russian girl who once dated a foreigner, even a white Christian man is automatically a slut and does not deserve a chance with a Russian man. Women who date foreigners are posted on social media for everyone to slutshame. So a highly attractive Russian girl would rather spend her prime on finding and locking down a decent Russian bloke. She might want a foreigner but she won’t risk her reputation. Instead aim for the girls in the 6-8 beauty range. They are usually ignored by Russian men. If you meet a chick that is friendly, cute, slightly overweight and wears glasses, chances are Russian men want nothing to do with her. She will be extremely grateful for attention from any man. Also stick to women in the 18-30 age range (depending on your age) that speak decent English (or your native language) without kids, who don’t smoke and only drink socially. When she speaks Russian she must not cuss and in general behave like a lady. If she doesn’t wear makeup, it’s a plus.
 
I usually pay on a first date to show that I’m a gentleman with serious intentions, but if the girl takes out her wallet to pay for herself it’s a good sign. After that I always split the bill. She has to pay for herself and if she expects me to pay for everything I respectfully explain why I’m not going to do this. Also I give my girl gifts like 2-3 times a year on special occasions, those gifts rarely cost more than 20-30 bucks. If a girl has a problem with that, I next her. The only exception I make is if a girl is a University student 18-22 years old and simply doesn’t work so doesn’t have any money to pay on dates. In that case I will pay on most of our dates BUT I`ll make sure we go to places where entertainment is either cheap or free of charge. Last time I dated a girl like that we would go watch films for free at her university or hang out in the park or attend some free event or just stay at home. Since I paid most if the time she had to make it up for me in other ways. She would buy popcorn in the movie theatre while I paid for the tickets. She would feed me home cooked meals when we would hang out at her place. If we go to an amusement park, I pay for the ride she gets the snacks and so forth. The girl must show you that she`s here for you not for the money. She must invest in the relationship if not financially then in other ways. My fiancé had a job when I met her so she always pays for herself everywhere we go.
 
Don’t hope to hook up with a wife material girl in a club or expensive restaurant. But having a social circle and attending house parties is a great way to meet girls. It`s also good to be a language teacher or translator. You`ll be surrounded by English speaking women who are open to idea of dating a foreigner. You can also meet decent women by attending volunteer organizations, dance classes, you can check your local Pedagogical University (almost every Russian city has one) and register for classes in a European language other than your own. I met some great girls by attending Spanish classes back in the day.
Don’t be afraid to meet women in a low key atmosphere and get to know them before starting a relationship. Nothing wrong with being fried zoned for a while. You can get to know the girl and might find out about her past mistakes or her psychological issues and save yourself the trouble of dating her.
Don’t use creepy websites like Anastasia dating, Elenas models or any other website that caters to mail order brides. Most girls there are not even writing to you, a so called translator (some chick who gets paid for this) writes in order to extract money from you. No decent women here would use this websites, better try some language learning websites like tandem partner or smth like that, plus there’s normal Russian websites like mamba.ru, loveplanet.ru, vk.com where you can talk to some real girls. Obviously you should never send money anywhere and videochat with the girl before meeting her. Tinder or badoo are not too bad either.
I`ll drop more knowledge later when I have the time. Ask me questions if you have any also I would be curious to hear your stories on dating Russian girls.
 

mehdreamer

Sparrow
Interesting infos. May I ask how old are you, Sir?

I would like to add that couchsurfing girls are usually decent, speak good English and are not gold digger but most are genuinely interested in meeting foreigners and practice language, ad know about foreign countries, etc.

I noticed also Russian girls are interested in 2 type of Guys : British/American/Scandinavian dudes or Latin/Mediterranean men from Italy/Spain/Greece and even Turkey

I am right now chatting with one, she is 29( I am 38) and I will be seeing her soon in Saint Peterburg.
 

Going strong

Crow
Gold Member
Valuable info, OP has indeed written some truthful data in his 3 first posts, above.

I might nonetheless highlight a few details that I disagree with:

1- "Russian men don't pay attention to women in the 6-8 range". False, of course. Women of 7 and 8 value (on a scale of 10) find tons of suitors in Russia, like everywhere in the known universe.

Only difference is that Russian men are say 30% less "thirsty" and deprieved of sex than Westerners. But still, of course they will court 7- and 8-grade women, actively.

2- "good thing if the Russian woman uses no makeup". I disagree. Only pot-smoking degenerate Russian women from low-level neighbourhoods would not apply any makeup. OP should have said, "good point if the Russian woman applies moderate makeup, and wears reasonable false nails".

3- sharing costs on the first date with a Russian chick, if she gets her wallet out. I wouldn't even do that to a Czech chick. You split the bill only if the chick is like, German (but then why would you be having dinner with a German woman, unless it's Angela and you sell pipelines).

But those are details, all in all, OP's advices seem sound and interesting.
 
Going strong said:
Women of 7 and 8 value (on a scale of 10) find tons of suitors in Russia, like everywhere in the known universe. Only difference is that Russian men are say 30% less "thirsty" and deprieved of sex than Westerners. But still, of course they will court 7- and 8-grade women, actively.
Everybody has their own idea of 7s, 8s and 10s. To me a girl in the 7-8 beauty range is a girl next door type - healthy fit body, cute face, good attitude, feminine style without too much makeup, natural beauty. These types of women are prevalent in Russia and local men often regard them as low quality, too smiple, not prestigious enough. These girls might get attention but from broke unattractive men who walk aroung cussing, spitting and behaving like gopniks. And like I said those women are not appreciated. Russian men will date them but not marry them.

A 9-10 is basically a 7-8 who put perfect makeup on and designer clothes.She`ll spend hours in front of the mirror each moring doing her beauty routine. She`ll attend expensive spa and beauty salons and who has to pay for this? her man of course. Women who try to look like runway models are usually looking for a sponsor, smth I would never be even if I had millions. These are the chicks russian men often lust over, but these are the chicks that will destroy a good mans life. Plus them having foundation, powder and all that heavy makeup everyday will cause them to age prematurely. Dont get me wrong, a woman should be groomed and have good hygene but makeup everyday she does not need. I want to be able to kiss my woman and make love to her without having to remove layers after layers of fake beauty enhancements


Going strong said:
Only pot-smoking degenerate Russian women from low-level neighbourhoods would not apply any makeup. OP should have said, "good point if the Russian woman applies moderate makeup, and wears reasonable false nails".
I hate fake plastic nails and I`m not paying for that.

Going strong said:
sharing costs on the first date with a Russian chick, if she gets her wallet out. I wouldn't even do that to a Czech chick. You split the bill only if the chick is like, German (but then why would you be having dinner with a German woman, unless it's Angela and you sell pipelines).
Like I said its reasonable to pay for the first date to make a good impression on her, just dont take her anywhere too expensive. And if she takes out her wallet to pay its a good sign. After that Im done, after first date she`ll pay for herself or she`ll be replaced. Glamourous hotties in high end Moscow clubs will be pissed, reasonable unspoiled girls from the provinces will accept this. Obviously I splurge a little on my woman from time to time, but for the most part she splits the bill and pays for her own shit.

I have a feeling you only hung out in Moscow for a few months and tried to date local high status glamourous girls. Not worth it man. Plus you have a cynical view on Russia and its women. Its better for you to stick to SEA perhaps. Not all places are good for all people, to each his own.
 

Thriller

Woodpecker
Gold Member
Thanks for your thread and intel OP.

One thing I will mention - I disagree with you about the "split the bill" thing. The man pays.

My first meeting is usually a walk in the park or a coffee. This is on purpose - the financial cost is almost zero and the more important factor is the minimal time cost.

If she "passes" the first date and I have decided that she is quality enough for another rendezvous, then I do not have any qualms whatsoever to pay for everything, in fact I will absolutely insist to pay.
 

Eusebius

Hummingbird
Gold Member
In Russia, a woman who is a mere 8 can only get attention from cussing gopniks who harass them on the street, and so they are chaste, meek and lonely.

Meanwhile, everywhere else in the known universe, an 8 is the hottest girl in her class, who has both an excellent face and body, and can make a living from her looks in some way, should she so choose.

I've heard everything now. Perhaps it's God's sign to me to move on from this forum. Or perhaps God is merely laughing in Russian.
 
RawGod said:
In Russia, a woman who is a mere 8 can only get attention from cussing gopniks who harass them on the street, and so they are chaste, meek and lonely.

Meanwhile, everywhere else in the known universe, an 8 is the hottest girl in her class, who has both an excellent face and body, and can make a living from her looks in some way, should she so choose.

I've heard everything now. Perhaps it's God's sign to me to move on from this forum. Or perhaps God is merely laughing in Russian.
my fiance is an 7. She looks like a younger and prettier version of Reese Witherspoon. When I first introduced her to some of my Russian male friends many later told me they thought she was below average and that I could do better. I guess we have a different ideas about beauty standarts. To me 7 and 8 is less than perfect while 9 and 10 is perfect and thats what everyone wants.

As for the Russian men they often fall into the trap of the gold digging glamorous club girls and I wouldnt want you to make the same mistake. Also the overlooked 8s arent chaste and meek. In their youth they are hopefull and sweet, as they near their 30s they become grumpy and negging. I never said dating Russian women was all simple and perfect. Its not for everyone
 

mehdreamer

Sparrow
Thriller said:
Thanks for your thread and intel OP.

One thing I will mention - I disagree with you about the "split the bill" thing. The man pays.

My first meeting is usually a walk in the park or a coffee. This is on purpose - the financial cost is almost zero and the more important factor is the minimal time cost.

If she "passes" the first date and I have decided that she is quality enough for another rendezvous, then I do not have any qualms whatsoever to pay for everything, in fact I will absolutely insist to pay.
I agree.

I also think you can't have the best of both worlds, i,e having submissive females who rely on male's leadership and financial support and want them, at the same time to be "strong and independent", like western females...

Guys have to remember why do girls and boys split everything in the West ? Because it comes from a mindset that men and women are totally equal and women are strong enough to be paying for themselves. You can't apply western paradigms to societies that have different codes.

I don't mind paying for them if they still live in Russia and do not have a job...

If I would date a western female, then Yes the girl has to pay.

But If I would to date an Asian/Middle Eastern/ EE girl, then, I don't mind paying for her, especially when it is about coffee/restaurants ( Of course there are limits, like paying for her studies or for her holidays)

You could use that to filter the gold diggers at initial phase..or you could get away with it if you are a young attractive Chad..but hey, beggars can't be choosers
 

ZAMSKI

Robin
"If you meet a chick that is friendly, cute, slightly overweight and wears glasses, chances are Russian men want nothing to do with her."

To each their own but I would not want to do nothing with her either.

If I was going to leave behind everything, relocate myself to a location halfway around the world to a strange land, try to become fluent in one of the hardest languages to learn, build a social circle...all to snap up a Russian girl as you described...I have made a grave mistake.

I'm going for the jugular...the best I can get. Settling for what you described would not be worth the move at all.
 

Deepdiver

Crow
Gold Member
In my learned experience, the mistake most western men make is bringing a Russian/Ukraine/Belarus/Kazakh female 7/8 to the west where they jump to at least a western 9 slim, feminine and attractive where they are hit on by every simp everywhere they go even thirsty Chads. She has to be a very loyal woman for it to work out for the long run and has been said many times here best to keep her in a family way - preggers several times in a row if you hope to keep her.

Otherwise OP great thread...


###
 

Going strong

Crow
Gold Member
RobertBryce said:
RawGod said:
In Russia, a woman who is a mere 8 can only get attention from cussing gopniks who harass them on the street, and so they are chaste, meek and lonely.

Meanwhile, everywhere else in the known universe, an 8 is the hottest girl in her class, who has both an excellent face and body, and can make a living from her looks in some way, should she so choose.

I've heard everything now. Perhaps it's God's sign to me to move on from this forum. Or perhaps God is merely laughing in Russian.
my fiance is an 7. She looks like a younger and prettier version of Reese Witherspoon. When I first introduced her to some of my Russian male friends many later told me they thought she was below average and that I could do better. I guess we have a different ideas about beauty standarts. To me 7 and 8 is less than perfect while 9 and 10 is perfect and thats what everyone wants.

As for the Russian men they often fall into the trap of the gold digging glamorous club girls and I wouldnt want you to make the same mistake. Also the overlooked 8s arent chaste and meek. In their youth they are hopefull and sweet, as they near their 30s they become grumpy and negging. I never said dating Russian women was all simple and perfect. Its not for everyone
There's no such thing as overlooked 8s on planet Earth. Never has been, never will.

If you think that women 2 notches (out of ten) above the Reese Witherspoon chick, can be "overlooked" and will end up grumpy cat ladies, well, show me one, anywhere, and I'll buy you a (homemade, blindness guaranteed) vodka.

By the way, you said I "probably know only Moscow, as a tourist" - lol, I used to regularly holiday in Crimea or Krasnodar years before you learned your first Russian word.

But anyway, apart from a few approximations, your posts are quite truthful and of interest, and entertaining, so, all good. Best of luck (the Russian way in this case, not the Ukrainian)!
 

PixelFree

Kingfisher
RobertBryce said:
my fiance is an 7. She looks like a younger and prettier version of Reese Witherspoon. When I first introduced her to some of my Russian male friends many later told me they thought she was below average and that I could do better. I guess we have a different ideas about beauty standarts. To me 7 and 8 is less than perfect while 9 and 10 is perfect and thats what everyone wants.
I think we're splitting hairs here. I think RB just has a higher scale standard than others.

Here is Reece W and her (younger, prettier) daughter.

An easy 8, maybe even a 9 from me - both of them.

You've been spoilt RB! :)

Also, I agree with others, I think your German culture might have shaped your 'who pays' views too strongly. For a women who is wiling to give me her everything (beautiful kids, mum, home, etc) I'm willing to give her mine. Obviously you still need to filter out the gold diggers, taxi scammers and predators - pretty easy to do, just ignore them once they start talking about going to a $$$$$ restaurant for your first date and all the 21-23 year old supermodel types.
 

PixelFree

Kingfisher
My questions:

1. How did you go living off an English teachers salary? Was it managed by itself or did you need some additional savings? How was your work/life balance?

2. What are your thoughts on the typical instagram attention whoring? I see this a HUGE amount once they hit 25/26/27, as if they are really loudly advertising themselves to potential suiters (Facebook stories, e.g. with awkward model type shots). At first I thought this was lame but then I saw a few reasonably good women doing it with one very good one even instantly deleting her public account once she got engaged (aka did the right thing, rather than keep it open for never ending slobbering from loser men). In the end I settled on it being more of a yellow flag than a red one.

3. Where do you plan to raise your kids?

4. How do you deal with the Winters?

5. What do you miss most about living in German? (culture, mod cons, lifestyle, etc)

6. What do you like most about living in Russia 2nd tier cities? (culture, lifestyle, etc)
 
PixelFree said:
Also, I agree with others, I think your German culture might have shaped your 'who pays' views too strongly. For a women who is wiling to give me her everything (beautiful kids, mum, home, etc) I'm willing to give her mine. Obviously you still need to filter out the gold diggers, taxi scammers and predators - pretty easy to do, just ignore them once they start talking about going to a $$$$$ restaurant for your first date and all the 21-23 year old supermodel types.
I share my advice with those who probably have never been to Russia, dont speak a word of Russian, dont know how to read the character of a Russian woman. If you ever make it here I want you guys to experience the best from local women not the worst. Contrary to popular belief Russia does not have a lot of golddiggers, but as a foreigner you are more likely to be preyed upon by them. They will approach you and actively try to engage you while the good girls will shyly look at you from afar and will not dare to make the first move out of fear of being slustshamed by Russian men. Many westerners want everything to be easy so they might fall into that trap. I encourage you guys to date decent humble girls that will not take advantage of you. For me one of the ways to test them was by refusing to pay for them except first date and special oocassions.

If a Russian girl agrees to date and marry you she will have to make many sacrificies, incl moving away from family and friends, having to learn a new language adapt to a new culture. She will have to show her willingness to do that by overcoming cultural barriers and adjusting herself to you even before you start living together. For me refusing to pay (in a polite way of course) has been a great test, maybe for others it will be taking the girl to cheap places or having her cook and clean your apartment or always follow your lead and do together what you have planned not what she wants. To each his own. I just dont want any of you to eand up with a gold digging predator when there are so many sweet genuine girls here who simply take a little longer to get through.
 
PixelFree said:
My questions:

1. How did you go living off an English teachers salary? Was it managed by itself or did you need some additional savings? How was your work/life balance?
I do have savings in Germany which I spend only in case of emergency. Living here Ive been making 400-1000$ a month depending on the job. Life in the provinces is relatively cheap, Im very frugal and used to a very spartan lifestyle. It was like that even in Germany for me. The thing is you can have a good high paying corporate job here in an international company but being an English teacher just allows you to have access to a great social circle, make friends quickly, meet open minded cultured women. Some of you could maybe work an IT job online while teaching English part time.

PixelFree said:
2. What are your thoughts on the typical instagram attention whoring? I see this a HUGE amount once they hit 25/26/27, as if they are really loudly advertising themselves to potential suiters (Facebook stories, e.g. with awkward model type shots). At first I thought this was lame but then I saw a few reasonably good women doing it with one very good one even instantly deleting her public account once she got engaged (aka did the right thing, rather than keep it open for never ending slobbering from loser men). In the end I settled on it being more of a yellow flag than a red one.
I guess in 2014 when I started dating Russian women IG wasnt so popular and it didnt bother rme all that much. My girlfriend has an IG account but she posts some boring stuff there like her family, places we go, food etc. If a girl you re interested in has half naked pics of herself on IG, once you start dating her, kindly ask her to remove those pics and not post them any further. If she refuses try to explain why that would upset you. If she continues to post inapropriate stuff online, next her. If she is a typical insta thot making money by posting pics of herself in underwear you shouldnt even bother dating her.

PixelFree said:
3. Where do you plan to raise your kids?
We plan on getting married in summer and then slowly start working on moving back to Germany. My only concern is that she might not adjaust well to life in Germany. Russians are blatantly hated and discriminated there so who knows if she`ll be able to find a job or make friends. Thats why we decided not to have kids for the first two years of our marriage. We`ve been living together for 2 years now but in Germany things will be different.

PixelFree said:
4. How do you deal with the Winters?
due to the shitty global warming winters in central and southern Russia are no different from the German ones. We`ve only had 5-8 really cold days this winter. Man I`d love to visit SIberia and experience real cold and snow!

The weather in Central Russia where I live now is similiar to Germany. The weather in Volgograd where I lived before can be difficult, the summers are extremely hot and the winters used to be really cold (not the case anymore). The real pain in the butt is the shitty infrastructure, broken roads, no chance to drive a car comfortably and safely (but you have decent public transport). The shittiest and worst cities have the nicest and most humble girls, while wealthy cities with better infrastructure (like St Petersburg, Kazan, moscow, krasnodar, Sochi, Tyumen) have a lot of superficial high maintenace women so its a trade off.

PixelFree said:
5. What do you miss most about living in German? (culture, mod cons, lifestyle, etc)
Just a higher living standard, better roads, better healthcare, decent customer service, better quality food in supermarkets not to mention friends and family of course. Wth that being sad... Ive adjusted to life in Russia pretty easily. I love my girlfriends dacha, the amazing farmer markets that we dont have in Germany, the long train rides, all the really cool people I met... I might actually come back and settle down here at some point. I dont suffer living here, Im comfortable. But its an opressive post communist country, you have to realise that. Still Id rather raise my hcildren here than in the US.
PixelFree said:
6. What do you like most about living in Russia 2nd tier cities? (culture, lifestyle, etc)
All the people here are red pilled, no liberal busllhit, you can say whatever you want but I wouldnt critisize Putin when talking to older Russian males. The women you meet (not just the you are romantically involved with but women in general) are incredibly kind, especially the younger generation. As a man I feel respected and appreciated, the jobs that Ive had so far were interesting and challenging. I also love hiking, travelling, going to peoples dachas, fishing etc. Classical music concerts, theatre and museums are cheap (for those who are into that), but no decent western musicians ever come here and local pop cultur eis garbage. Life here is not for everyone. Id recommend an average westerner to move to a relatively comfortable 1st tier or second tier city (but stay away from Moscow and St Pete) teach English for 1 year at least, make friends, go out, date local women the same way you would have done in the west but with higher standarts and less competition. And after that see where it takes you.
 

911

Peacock
Gold Member
Going strong said:
RobertBryce said:
RawGod said:
In Russia, a woman who is a mere 8 can only get attention from cussing gopniks who harass them on the street, and so they are chaste, meek and lonely.

Meanwhile, everywhere else in the known universe, an 8 is the hottest girl in her class, who has both an excellent face and body, and can make a living from her looks in some way, should she so choose.

I've heard everything now. Perhaps it's God's sign to me to move on from this forum. Or perhaps God is merely laughing in Russian.
my fiance is an 7. She looks like a younger and prettier version of Reese Witherspoon. When I first introduced her to some of my Russian male friends many later told me they thought she was below average and that I could do better. I guess we have a different ideas about beauty standarts. To me 7 and 8 is less than perfect while 9 and 10 is perfect and thats what everyone wants.

As for the Russian men they often fall into the trap of the gold digging glamorous club girls and I wouldnt want you to make the same mistake. Also the overlooked 8s arent chaste and meek. In their youth they are hopefull and sweet, as they near their 30s they become grumpy and negging. I never said dating Russian women was all simple and perfect. Its not for everyone
There's no such thing as overlooked 8s on planet Earth. Never has been, never will.

If you think that women 2 notches (out of ten) above the Reese Witherspoon chick, can be "overlooked" and will end up grumpy cat ladies, well, show me one, anywhere, and I'll buy you a (homemade, blindness guaranteed) vodka.

By the way, you said I "probably know only Moscow, as a tourist" - lol, I used to regularly holiday in Crimea or Krasnodar years before you learned your first Russian word.

But anyway, apart from a few approximations, your posts are quite truthful and of interest, and entertaining, so, all good. Best of luck (the Russian way in this case, not the Ukrainian)!
I think I see where the OP is going here, it's more the notion that some women on the vane side tend to be overrated and get too much attention, while the "diamond in the rough" types tend to be overlooked.
 

TheMost

Robin
Have to agree about Reece and daughter; Reece is a 6, but would be an 8 if she didn't have that hard look about her, and was a few years younger. Her daughter is a solid 5 but would be a 7 maybe even an 8 if she lost the pudge.
 
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