Wife refusing sex and not enjoying it?

GodfatherPartTwo

Woodpecker
But the problem is that even if she is currently a good faithful Christian, she could change over time. Everything ranging from social media, Hollywood films and television, books, her friends at work or even church, could slowly erode her good character and dedication to the marriage. And keep in mind that men and women of both the Old and New Testament lived in a very different world from our own, where men were still in a strong position, unlike today.

Find a Godly woman that will fulfill your needs and submit to your authority in marriage. Easier said than done but the fundamentals don't change for anybody or anything. What's hard for some of us to accept is that God does not promise we will have sexual satisfaction in this life.
 

OriginalFaith

Chicken
Orthodox
The solution is simple, remind her that she ain't the only game in town. Schedule a dinner date, ideally somewhere like hooters. Better yet prearrange some "winking" with one of the waitresses working there. Note I am not saying cheat on your wife, just let the possibility play out in her mind.

Dread works. Other thing I can think of is force HER to workout. Ever noticed how those hardcore gymrats seem to put out like rabbits? Hardcore exercise increases good ol' testosterone in both sex (cross**** does not count as exercise).

EDIT: Forgot one more thing, use alcohol. Lot's of alcohol. Not for you, for her. It will both help sort out the underlying problem (in wine lies the truth as the Romans say) and it crush her inhibitions.
What horrible advice.
 

Magnus Stout

Woodpecker
Orthodox
In marriage, each much freely give their body to the other. That said, yes, it is normal for most husbands to have a higher drive than the wife. Other factors: certain drugs "regulating" depression; poor health; and bad diet.

Women get derailed much easier than men (frustrations/grudges/annoyances, etc..). They also seem to need more warm-up time than husbands. But, there are some things you can try...

Suggestions: (1) remove any TV from your bedroom; (2) put kids to their bed no later than 9PM; (3) invest in a quality therapeutic massager; (4) use said massager and talk about your day to each other. Frequent touching is important so that sex is a small subset of your physicality, rather than the start and stop of it.

It's far easier to get close physically when you are close emotionally. Work to re-establish that emotional bond first. Ask "why" and "what" questions... Get to the real bottom of the issue. You should have a "love map" of your wife (an empathetic guide for how and why she thinks and feels a certain way). Because we do that often, sex is never a chore for us.

But, if your brain is more Asperger's you will struggle to create that "love map." In that case, you will have to spend much more time and energy to refine your "love map." You may also need to be explicit with her about likes & dislikes. Remember: you both swore to stay together for better or worse.

When you get frustrated, think about how Christ is merciful, loving and patient with His Bride, the Church. Your marriage offers insight into that mysterious relationship. If you work through your issues, you will both gain spiritual insight and wisdom.
 
Last edited:
Top