Will younger women be put off as I get older?

Great response. Unless you're planning to go overseas where women don't see much of a problem with a man's age, it is best to start getting serious about courtship and eventual marriage when you're young, ie you're early 20s. Men will say that "you are not ready" at this age range to marry, but when is a man ever "ready"? When he's older, and women in the west stop being interested in him because of his age? Also, Men in the manosphere would say this in order to rationalize their years of fornication. Had nothing to do with preparing for marriage.

Even if you look 5-10 years younger than your actual age, once a woman finds out your real age, she will be turned off. That's the unfortunate reality here in the west and specifically here in the U.S. She may be interested in you in terms of fornication so that she may tell all her friends she had sex with someone 10+ years older than her, but that's as far as most men will be able to go with a young woman of today's western culture. I too, look younger for my age, but I have already experienced first hand that when telling women my real age (my early 30s to their early 20s), they change. Of course this is only on worldly women as i've yet to go up to a Traditional Catholic woman, and perhaps the girls in church are different, but I doubt it. I wonder how a father would react in the future if I went up to him and asked if I could court his 20ish year old daughter. Time will tell and I will come back with an answer if and when this happens in the future.

Its kinda screwed up that our culture is this way. Such a thing isn't morally wrong. Of course it shouldn't be too much either.
 

Mithras

Chicken
Ideal and at the same time most realistic age gap is a man in their late 20s and a woman is in their early 20s, but that's only the case if a man has been systematically working on himself for past years, so he is mature, independent, and is sufficiently economically secured. On the contrary, if he can't tactically wait and prepare, then it would be more wisely from him to find a young wife as soon as possible and by that to avoid wasting his early 20s by partying and sleeping with sluts. However, starting a family in his early 20s may be financially highly problematic, especially if he wants his wife to stay at home, which I guess the majority of men on this forum would want.

The traditional model is that man leads and woman is being led, there is a clear distinction between active and passive part.
But how can 21 years old boy lead someone else, when he has a problem to lead himself? How can he objectively decide if a woman he likes is of high quality or if it's just a desired projection of his youthly romantic passions? In such age, it's normal to exploring one's inner motivations, plans, identity, everything seems uncertain and fluid. In the late 20s and early 30s man should have something behind him and should have a center, stability, and clear vision which 21 years old man simply doesn't have, except for rare exceptions. 5-10 years gap is totally normal, and in higher classes historically it was even higher. Such an age gap is more desirable for hierarchical, structured marriage while the minimum age gap is better for egalitarian, modern marriage. Centrality, independence, and active leadership are masculine qualities which woman desire at most if they are truly feminine. So 30 years old man with such qualities and economical independence is anytime more attractive than 21 years old naive teenager who resembles more woman than a man.
 

LoveBug

Kingfisher
This is a truly location dependent question as well

I just turned 42, and have spent the last 6-7 years split between California and Central America (Guatemala in particular)

In the US I don’t go to clubs anymore, and am not really around many young women. In Central America I’m mostly on the streets, and don’t use auto that much

In Guatemala I sure have received attention deep into my 40s from younger women.

I plan to live much of my life in Latin America going forward so will see how long it lasts

“Geo arbitrage” is real.
 
I am mid 30s dating 20yo for the last year and half. I am 100% sure this is the girl I want to marry.

Im curious how the age gap will manifest itself the next few years. When Im 40 she'll be mid 20s. When Im 50 she'll be mid 30s. If we stay together for the rest of my life, she will likely live on 20+ years after I die.

The gap doesnt bother her at all. She doesnt see me as "old". But who knows if she will continue to feel that way as I age and my overall energy levels continue to go down.
 
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redbeard

Hummingbird
Gold Member
I am mid 30s dating 20yo for the last year and half. I am 100% sure this is the girl I want to marry.

Im curious how the age gap will manifest itself the next few years. When Im 40 she'll be mid 20s. When Im 50 she'll be mid 30s. If we stay together for the rest of my life, she will likely live on 20+ years after I die.
When you're in your sixties, and your physical & mental function is falling, you'll be thankful for your situation. As long as compatibility is truly there despite the gap, go for it.
 

bucky

Ostrich
When you're in your sixties, and your physical & mental function is falling, you'll be thankful for your situation. As long as compatibility is truly there despite the gap, go for it.

Seconded. Great age gap. 10 to 15 years younger is what I consider ideal. Go for it. Try to marry her and get her pregnant soon. The sooner she has that first kid, the less the pregnancy will damage her body and the better the chance she'll keep her figure, among many other spiritual and emotional benefits.
 
Appreciate the replies. My current plan is to accomplish two more career goals that will be done in the next two years. After those are done i will be set financially to support her as a stay at home mom, so kids start around then. She will be 22. We have talked about this plan from both points of view: her becoming the mother of my children in her early 20s, and her being a stay at home mom responsible for raising and educating our children. She understands her roles and expectations and is eager to start.

As a mid 30s guy I still find younger girls being attracted to me. However very few of them are looking for that in a long term suitor, and even fewer of those are mature enough to be on par emotionally with a middle age man.

I would caution men about waiting until they are older to try to seriously look for a match. Its a dangerous game of diminishing returns and you may end up wishing for luck to be on your side.

Thats not to be said it cant be done. The point is that if if you have a good, feminine, nurturing women, you should dedicate yourself to her.
 
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GibsMeDat

Sparrow
Appreciate the replies. My current plan is to accomplish two more career goals that will be done in the next two years. After those are done i will be set financially to support her as a stay at home mom, so kids start around then. She will be 22. We have talked about this plan from both points of view: her becoming the mother of my children in her early 20s, and her being a stay at home mom responsible for raising and educating our children. She understands her roles and expectations and is eager to start.

As a mid 30s guy I still find younger girls being attracted to me. However very few of them are looking for that in a long term suitor, and even fewer of those are mature enough to be on par emotionally with a middle age man.

I would caution men about waiting until they are older to try to seriously look for a match. Its a dangerous game of diminishing returns and you may end up wishing for luck to be on your side.

Thats not to be said it cant be done. The point is that if if you have a good, feminine, nurturing women, you should dedicate yourself to her.
Thank you WaterBottle. In your opinion, what's a good age for a man to more successfully lock down that early 20s girl? I reckon it's around 26-28 on part of the guy?
 
It is entirely possible to catch the attention of, date, and romance women aged 19-21 when you are in your late 30s (and older). Some of them even fetishize it. It does not require excessive money, a lavish or adventurous lifestyle, or any other cop out you may wish to convince yourself that since you don't have it won't happen.

But it may hinge on (among other things):
- luck
- timing & location
- you have to not care about the outcome, and have something going on in your life (even if it's only a mission-in-progress)
- you have to actually be attracted to and enjoy the company of girls 19-21 (not just want another notch or just because someone else told you they are the best girls)

If you think all 19-21 year old girls are retards with no real life experience and nothing to contribute and will be only drama and trouble and blah blah... then yeah, it's gonna be real difficult with that outlook. And then it sounds like you may not want to be with them after all.

(by the way, my life experience has been that if a girl is insufferable at 21 there is a very very good chance she is not going to become less insufferable as she becomes older, so 21 or 41 a dickhead chick is a dickhead chick... at 41 she may be a very desperate dickhead chick with waning options, but that is FAR worse a choice than an inexperienced 21 year old in my opinion)

Anyway, my age gap is 14 years with my girlfriend. While SOME of her friends and our acquaintances have made comments that they would only date close to their age, just as many have said they don't care, or older is hot, or what matters most is how a dude makes them feel.

Your life here is fleeting. Go for what you want and experience it unsparingly.
 
It is entirely possible to catch the attention of, date, and romance women aged 19-21 when you are in your late 30s (and older). Some of them even fetishize it. It does not require excessive money, a lavish or adventurous lifestyle, or any other cop out you may wish to convince yourself that since you don't have it won't happen.

But it may hinge on (among other things):
- luck
- timing & location
- you have to not care about the outcome, and have something going on in your life (even if it's only a mission-in-progress)
- you have to actually be attracted to and enjoy the company of girls 19-21 (not just want another notch or just because someone else told you they are the best girls)

If you think all 19-21 year old girls are retards with no real life experience and nothing to contribute and will be only drama and trouble and blah blah... then yeah, it's gonna be real difficult with that outlook. And then it sounds like you may not want to be with them after all.

(by the way, my life experience has been that if a girl is insufferable at 21 there is a very very good chance she is not going to become less insufferable as she becomes older, so 21 or 41 a dickhead chick is dickhead chick

Absolutely agreed. While people do change their beliefs, values, goals, etc, they rarely change their personality. A girl with a shitty personality at 18 is most likely not going to get any better.

Most of my friends make jokes about her age in jest, but they mean no harm. Most are a bit envious. Overall, no one really cares. Most importantly, I couldnt be happier with the arrangement.

I think if you are looking for a younger woman for a serious relationship you need to screen HARD

1. She most have no serious red flags
2. She must be family oriented and want children.
3. She must be willing to please you and learn new skills for you. For example: I would regularly cook for mt girlfriend when we started dating. She has since learned to cook, and made it clear she was doing in order to please me.
4. She must be mature for her age, not into the social media and clubbing stage most young girls are.
5. She must respect traditional gender roles.

Girl with those traits are more interested in a stable caring relationship and are more likely to look past, or even prefer, age gaps.
 

thedonald

Pigeon
Yep, it does depend alot on country and culture as others have pointed out. But it also depends on how you are meeting?

Women on tinder will not set their age brackets too high so you're automatically ruled out in alot of anglosphere countries.

With social circle age matters way less for obvious reasons.
 

R.G.Camara

Kingfisher
Yes, many will--at first. But that's in the same category as "he must be x feet tall" and "he must make x amount of money."

Don't take them as absolutes; take them as negotiation starting points. Yes, many women will hold firm, but move on; some will not and will like you.

I recall vividly attending a rock concert with a early 20s girl I was not interested in romantically (long story). The band was from the 80s, and she had been born in 1990 and had no knowledge of the band. I made a joke about how she was going to get a crush on the lead singer and she gave me a disgusted look and said, "Eww! No way! He's old enough to be my dad! Besides, I don't like rock music."

Then the band came out, starting playing their hits, the lead singer was on fire, and the crowd was going nuts. About two songs in the same girl said, "Well, he is kind cute....."

By the end, she had bought a t-shirt.

Now, granted, that's a rock star with immense talent and social proof. So it's a extreme position. But if you are excellent in front of her (think Tao of Steve, a great film), her upper age limit will evaporate as a prerequisite.
 

GWYW2015

Woodpecker
Orthodox
The best advice I would give to you is, differentiate yourself from the 20 year old dudes. Don't try to dress or act "cool" - you can't out-compete a cool 20 year old on their own terms. Women who want a younger guy will go out with a younger guy. But women who want an older guy will find you to be sophisticated, if you act that way.
Good comment, like it.
 
On the other hand, you'd be surprised how hot a woman in her early 30s starts to look when you get to your late 30s, and there are a lot of desperate women in their early 30s out there. (No doubt when I hit my late 40s I'll say the same about women in their late 30s.)
The whole "beauty peaks at 22" thing is just a meme. Women who don't gain a bunch of weight are hotter at 32. Now that I'm in my 30s, 22 year old women tend to look too infantile for me.
 
I had a roommate/co-worker when I worked as a govt. contractor who discussed this issue with me. He was from California and loved his area (he was into surfing) but said the people there are rude and women there are bad to date. He had a plan to find a wife from Ukraine once he reached his money goal. He was in his mid-20's but quite mature and focused for his age. He told me that 8 years if the perfect age difference and gave his reason:

1) You will both find each other attractive (as long as you take care of your health of course) and choose a wife with good genes (some women can always look young for their age-Barbara Eden is a famous example). When you are 30 and she is 22, she is at her peak. In 10 years, you will be 40 and she will be 32. Women can still look very good at 32 if they take care of themselves. Even when you are 50 and she is 42, she can still be attractive. This means you had 20 years together before she is starting to 'hit the wall' and as a 50 year old man, your standards of beauty will not be the same as a 25-year-old man. Also, don't forget that you want your wife attracted to you as well. A 50 year old man marrying a 25-year old female is risky because she might not find you attractive in 10 years.

I will add this:

2) Society/family: A man that is 40 with a 32-year old wife will not be judged by others in society and both your families will likely accept this age range. Yes, we should not care about what others think too much but it is nice to not have this issue. A 50-year-old man with a 25-year-old wife will always have to deal with the 'gold digger' stereotype unless she is super wealthy like Celine Dion with her older husband. Also, some in your family and her family may be uncomfortable. Of course, if the man ages in a dignified way-stays physically fit/dresses like a gentleman, etc... (like George Clooney is famous for) this can be reduced somewhat.

3) Interests/energy: Am 8-year difference is perfectly compatible for interests. If she likes hiking or cycling, you should have energy to do these activities together without issues.

4) Growing old together: If there is a huge age difference, you will likely die when she is in her 40's. If she cares about you, this will be quite sad for her and she might be a widow many years (she might remarry but this is not a guarantee).

Many younger women are shallow but there are some that are not and actually like learning new things such as calligraphy, playing instruments, cooking, etc... These women are the ones more likely to be attracted to an older man because she is not only focused on physical things. The most important rule to attract younger women is to dress nice, stay fit, and have interesting things to talk about. Doing these things will never hurt.
 
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