Woman in her 30's comes to a harsh realization that it may be too late for love

Laner

Hummingbird
Gold Member
I am personally struggling with this myself.

I'd like to get married and have kids. It's important to me. I hold out hope that I will meet the right woman. But the pickings are slim. I always assumed I'd be on that path, but as the years slide by, it seems less likely.

Even more unsettling is that in my last two serious relationships, both of the girls had deep-rooted issues that only came out a few months in. Which is frightening. I wonder how much of this is our contemporary mental health decline, and how much is just the normal female craziness that was easier to overlook back when life was a daily challenge.

Dating, even before COVID, was disheartening. I did meet some great girls where the chemistry just wasn't there. But a lot of women today really don't have their stuff together, and it's painful to imagine what life would be like chained to them.

Roosh had a nice article up about recognizing that God will either put a worthwhile mate in your life or won't. I can get my head around this conceptually. Accepting it deeply is harder.
You are not chained to a woman, they are 'chained' to you.

You should be able to make their lives so much better, just by being you, that they would not want to leave. Ever.

I aim to make those around me better. I strive to make myself better, and let that accountability to be known. Battling vulnerability has been a life long challenge for me. But it was worth the effort. The results were that I made every woman I was with better.

They became more feminine.
They became happier.
Their stress melted away.
Less anxiety.
More optimism.

Women require work. Just like everything in life worth the effort.
 
A younger -25 years old, tall, with long legs. long hair and virjin can e a 10 for manosphere, but no for me.

men chase wealth, but the poor are still married.
men pursue thinness, but fat women continue to marry and have children
men pursue success many criminals and prisoners have women.

no one woman with more than 30 years old is old to be happy wwith someone..
you cant be a 10 but you can be a 7 and marry another 7. like attracts like

the love and happiness are for all..
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
marcelo, you live in a place where it's easier at this point to find more reasonable women, mostly because wealth and affluence haven't ruined them like so many american women --- and here's the kicker --- taken them out of the age where they are most desired. I understand, no place is perfect, there are challenges with women regardless. But when your society (for whatever the reason) takes youth and fertility away from the equation, as we say, "The juice isn't worth the squeeze." Increasingly.
 
I the US, at least the part I was raised in during the 80s and 90s, there was this pressure from most adults, parents included, to avoid attachment. People who got married in their early 20s, or God forbid, their late teens were looked down upon as being stupid. "Well, their lives are over...", Shite like that. If they had kids at those ages, even if they were married, oh they were just crazy or stupid or trash. Most of us bought in to that and carried out single lives through our 20s and/or 30s and now, here we are, and whites are being out-bred to the point of soon being minorities in our own homelands. Hmm... And who's being stupid again? Thanks for the great advice, Boomers. I finally shook that bs off at 37, got married to a great woman who was 31 at the time. Been married 6 years now with two kids. We both agree, it's great but we should have did it a decade ago, or sooner. Here's to hoping gen Z, their kids and my kids will break free of the degenerate narrative.
 
I was dating a woman who was 32yo. She said she wanted kids and to start a family. In terms of her beauty and what she wanted from a relationship we were 100% compatible. The problem is that she literally told me that we were only allowed to have sex at most 3 times a week and she preferred 1-time even. She said she doesn't enjoy sex and can do without it. She said if I wanted to have sex with her more often a good way to accomplish this would be to buy her expensive gifts. She told me she's tired of guys lying to her, cheating on her and just using her for sex. How delusional are these women? Why would any guy agree to this sort of relationship? Who does she think she is? She's going to hit 40 alone and still confused as to why that is.
Met a gal like this online. Tons of red flags but I waited to see what would happen. After about a month, she lays it on me: She expected a $10,000 diamond engagement ring, a big home (paid for by me) and...

She would "sacrifice" by staying at home and I should be grateful for "manning up".

Instant dump.

She freaked out. Got drunk and drunk dialed me and I blocked her. She left threatening voice mails saying she'd kill my cat. After I told her to eff off otherwise I'd go to the cops, she left me be.

Did she learn anything? I don't know. Didn't hang out to find out.
 
Another girl begging for smarter/mature men to fall for her trap. She should look eastwards, plenty of betas/omegas/losers/immigrants to wife her up. Besides white men are evil right?
Maybe some guy wants a green card. But most guys East will have better options than dating her
 
Even putting aside the fact that a woman's ability to have healthy children has decreased significantly and is on the verge of disappearing by her late 30s. her options among men will have decreased significantly 5-6 years before then. She won't want men younger than her (and they generally won't want her for more than a fling). Men older than her will either already be married, have checked out of dating, not be up to her quality standards or will be seeking women in their 20s, who in addition to being more attractive, also have many more years left for having children. They get slapped in the face by this reality on a daily basis and yet they can't learn the lesson. At 39-40 they are still thinking a husband and kids is an option. Delusional.
 
Last edited:
This is nothing new under the sun.

The question is how she became a woman like this in the first place and you can only assume it's only due to poor guidance from her father.
I've heard Stefan Molyneux talk with his 11-year-old daughter on his show about how a lot of women tend to wait with settling down so they run into problems in their 30's and think it would be highly unlikely that she would end up the same way as this woman. So I think the only lesson here is if you don't want your own daughter to end up like this you better have conversations about what strategy that would be best for her.
 

Waverer

Robin
Met a gal like this online. Tons of red flags but I waited to see what would happen. After about a month, she lays it on me: She expected a $10,000 diamond engagement ring, a big home (paid for by me) and...

She would "sacrifice" by staying at home and I should be grateful for "manning up".

Instant dump.

She freaked out. Got drunk and drunk dialed me and I blocked her. She left threatening voice mails saying she'd kill my cat. After I told her to eff off otherwise I'd go to the cops, she left me be.

Did she learn anything? I don't know. Didn't hang out to find out.
What happened earlier in the relationship?I am curious but also wanting to know about the red flags to look out for.
 

Easy_C

Crow
Better Bachelor is my favorite red pill/mgtow presenter. I also really enjoy Sandman, for his perceptiveness and humor. Coach Red Pill, Coach Greg Adams and Richard Cooper are also excellent. There are quite a few very good red pill channels out there.
I don’t like Better Bachelor because the little bit of his content I’ve watched is along the lines of “women are awful, marriage is stupid”.

He is just spouting the same demoralizing black pill/MGTOW talking points.

I suspect the reason he gets so much help from the algorithm is because his message contributes towards greater social atomization and learned helplessness among males. Both of which are useful to the puppet masters.

Theres a reason why he gets boosted and people like Isaac Relyea are having their content banned.
 

Talus

Pigeon
People who got married in their early 20s, or God forbid, their late teens were looked down upon as being stupid. "Well, their lives are over..."
This boomer reaction is an obvious result of the sexual revolution in the 60s, when an entire generation was sold that your 20's are for hedonistic pleasure, and everything after your 20's is just regret or nostalgia for your 20's. But, it's hard to place too much blame on them. That was the heyday of social engineering. Read a little bit of Edward Bernays and you begin to turn a little bit of that boomer disgust into sympathy.
 

pitbullowner

Pelican
There's a huge glut of this coming. Millennials (like me) are still holding on to this idea of themselves as being "young" even though the average millennial is now like 32. Give it a few more years, as the midpoint gets closer and closer to 40, and that cope is going to be harder and harder to maintain. Lots of millennial women are going to end up saddled with whatever beta loser they can lock down for a while, resent, occassionally cheat on when out at the bar with the girls and some zoomer deigns to say "yeah, I could practice on that one", and probably leave and start the cycle anew a few times.

I'm already looking at older gen z girls as attractive and my fellow Millenial women as grotesque.

If I had to be honest...
My chances with them are slim though.
 
What happened earlier in the relationship?I am curious but also wanting to know about the red flags to look out for.
It was more like a red carpet. The b*tch stood me up. Twice. In each case, I didn't let her off the hook by either not calling her again or raging about it on voicemail. I merely left her voicemails stating that I was a serious person looking for a relationship and that risking getting stood up was something I was willing to do but asked her to be respectful of people in the future.

She asked me to meet a third time and she did show.

I was strict about not spending a lot of money on her and setting the precedent I was going to be an ATM machine. She griped about it quite a bit and that's when the mask came off and her golddigger views came out.

I realize that by not rolling out the red carpet for her (pardon the pun/paradox to red flags) and being a "gentleman" and simping/blue-pililng her, I avoided a fate other men went through where they get trapped in marriage with kids with such a person and they had a lawyer on speed dial.

My wife on the other hand, when we had arguments about these things, she would compromise and learn, adapt and grow to keep the relationship going. We had a 2 year courtship. A few red flags with her (been married 16 years) but they were just her being stupid at times, not dishonest or manipulative. (My wife is a terrible liar or manipulator, which is actually a good thing.) Stupid and ignorance is something I could, and do, work with.
 
I am personally struggling with this myself.

I'd like to get married and have kids. It's important to me. I hold out hope that I will meet the right woman. But the pickings are slim. I always assumed I'd be on that path, but as the years slide by, it seems less likely.

Even more unsettling is that in my last two serious relationships, both of the girls had deep-rooted issues that only came out a few months in. Which is frightening. I wonder how much of this is our contemporary mental health decline, and how much is just the normal female craziness that was easier to overlook back when life was a daily challenge.

Dating, even before COVID, was disheartening. I did meet some great girls where the chemistry just wasn't there. But a lot of women today really don't have their stuff together, and it's painful to imagine what life would be like chained to them.

Roosh had a nice article up about recognizing that God will either put a worthwhile mate in your life or won't. I can get my head around this conceptually. Accepting it deeply is harder.
At the risk of sounding conceited/arrogant , I think you are thinking like a woman.
From my own experience , love really starts when the passion/chemistry/love ceases to exist. It s not point to look for chemistry and for the right woman , a bit like a woman waits for the prince on a white horse , because these emotions are limited in time.
The only thing you need to find is a woman who you find relatively attractive , not psycho , and rather traditional. I know there aren't many , but there are still some good girls around .

At the beginning of every relationship emotions are hyped . There is no glory in this. But when this is "over" , this is where the work starts and this is where you re both working to build a long-term relationship. If you have no wedding or kids by that time , then the relationship is bound to fail.

Morality : please do not look for the perfect woman. Find a reliable one , marry her , make her some kids , and love her with your heart. It s not that hard as the end of the day.
 
I don’t like Better Bachelor because the little bit of his content I’ve watched is along the lines of “women are awful, marriage is stupid”.

He is just spouting the same demoralizing black pill/MGTOW talking points.

I suspect the reason he gets so much help from the algorithm is because his message contributes towards greater social atomization and learned helplessness among males. Both of which are useful to the puppet masters.

Theres a reason why he gets boosted and people like Isaac Relyea are having their content banned.
Better Bachelor's argument isn't much fundamentally different than Roosh's in that secular marriage and dating are extremely dangerous and unsatisfying for most western men seeking to start a family. Roosh himself is still single. Better Bachelor advocates men spend more time on self-improvement (whether that be secular or spiritual) while Roosh advocates Christian self-improvement with the faith that God will provide a mate. (If I'm mistaken on this understanding, please do correct me.)

My preposition is that I know many wonderful women in the states who are married with kids and that's rather the point: They aren't SINGLE. They got married when they were in their teens or very early 20's to those in their social circle because that's what normal, healthy women do in the states. I realized when I hit my mid-20's that by then, it was a whole different ball game. I had improved compared to my immature teenage self while the women on the market had gotten considerably worse if only because the "good ones" were taken.

Most young men hitting that dating market may feel like they've hit a brick wall. No need to "teach" them "learned helplessness", they'll feel that way all on their own. Roosh and Better Bachelor advocate at least understanding the world around them and making informed decisions. Both appear to discourage men from seeking foreign brides "in rebellion".

What I liked about pre-God pill Roosh was that he was one of the few social commentators who provided factual information to achieve objectives. While those objectives were typically PUA's having one night stands, I do believe that Roosh's game techniques did help many men start and retain families both secular and religious. I met men through the forum who were religious and married and had read Roosh's books before his transformation. I am married with a child for a 15 years and attend church.
 

animum-rege

Sparrow
At the risk of sounding conceited/arrogant , I think you are thinking like a woman.
From my own experience , love really starts when the passion/chemistry/love ceases to exist. It s not point to look for chemistry and for the right woman , a bit like a woman waits for the prince on a white horse , because these emotions are limited in time.
The only thing you need to find is a woman who you find relatively attractive , not psycho , and rather traditional. I know there aren't many , but there are still some good girls around .

At the beginning of every relationship emotions are hyped . There is no glory in this. But when this is "over" , this is where the work starts and this is where you re both working to build a long-term relationship. If you have no wedding or kids by that time , then the relationship is bound to fail.

Morality : please do not look for the perfect woman. Find a reliable one , marry her , make her some kids , and love her with your heart. It s not that hard as the end of the day.
I'm totally with you... I'm talking about real chemistry issues, like a significant lack of attraction. Not "her laugh is a little annoying."

We live in a choice-abundant world, not some isolated village with 4 potential mates, so I don't think it's too crazy to want at least some "spark" at the start. With the understanding that initial attraction is temporary and deep, true love is what will make the relationship last for a lifetime.
 
I'm totally with you... I'm talking about real chemistry issues, like a significant lack of attraction. Not "her laugh is a little annoying."

We live in a choice-abundant world, not some isolated village with 4 potential mates, so I don't think it's too crazy to want at least some "spark" at the start. With the understanding that initial attraction is temporary and deep, true love is what will make the relationship last for a lifetime.
I experienced a similar situation. While modern women have insisted upon near perfect butterflies, I had lowered my demands and standards to the bare minimum. I went out on a date with a woman who was absolutely no games but she lacked any of the attributes I wanted in a woman. I wouldn't have minded marrying her but it went through my mind: I could do better. And I believe, as the arrogant Tomi Lahren put it, that I had earned it. I gently let her go, paid for the dinner, and moved on.
 
Top