Woman in her 30's comes to a harsh realization that it may be too late for love

There are definitely some quality women out there, but they tend to get "taken" in their mid-to-late 20's. That leaves us men in our mid-to-late 30's with having to either target much younger women, which also becomes difficult as we get older, or looking for a gem in the haystack that is the 30's age bracket. I personally meet such women on occasion, but demand for them is so high that I need to meet many of them in order to secure one. I'm not lowering my standards though. I won't settle for a mediocre women with poor physical and mental qualities. If I don't meet the right girl, I simply won't get married.
 

Waverer

Robin
I think that's about right. Personally I meet plenty of good looking, nice girls in their 20s and early 30s but precisely because they have good personalities they mostly haven't found it too hard to meet someone already.

Contributors to this forum who appear to think all women between 25 and 35 are embittered alpha widows barely know these women exist, because they are mostly home with their kids by 6pm instead of traipsing the bars, leaving the bar scene entirely to the alpha widows and fat girls.
 
In some parts of Europe divorce rates are 70%+ because men aren't needed anymore to sustain an independent small studio / 1BR middle class life.

This create a dysgenic environment of "alpha widows" aka one night stand / toilet bang with some street corner thug or some party promoter big talk hustler who portrayed some fantasy.

Even girls that didn't encounter such guys are hooked on Instagram / YouTube fantasy life and good luck having a family in the encroaching NWO / mad max clown world unless you have the shekels for the hidden homestead life.

Even in the poorest parts of former commie Europe globohomo is encroaching.

Sorry for the blackpill...
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
You all know I have placed huge emphasis on selection pressure on women (it's everything since they are lazy and not spurred on, like most humans, for self improvement - guys have to unless they have no shot, and some wither away) ... and the biggest is sex ratio (with war gone this has been another exponential effect on our bad current situation), but the second biggest is clearly, in the advanced world, a baseline living that actually promotes hypergamy to the max. Add a touch of social media for attention ... and disaster strikes.
 

SlickyBoy

Ostrich
The woman in that video has a serious man jaw and way too much eye makeup. Are we sure she's only in her 30s? I think she'd be lucky to wind up with a 45 year old with a job willing to risk a Down syndrome baby.

Seriously wouldn't give too much time to a woman like that aside from the warning message she provides.
 
I am personally struggling with this myself.

I'd like to get married and have kids. It's important to me. I hold out hope that I will meet the right woman. But the pickings are slim. I always assumed I'd be on that path, but as the years slide by, it seems less likely.

Even more unsettling is that in my last two serious relationships, both of the girls had deep-rooted issues that only came out a few months in. Which is frightening. I wonder how much of this is our contemporary mental health decline, and how much is just the normal female craziness that was easier to overlook back when life was a daily challenge.

Dating, even before COVID, was disheartening. I did meet some great girls where the chemistry just wasn't there. But a lot of women today really don't have their stuff together, and it's painful to imagine what life would be like chained to them.

Roosh had a nice article up about recognizing that God will either put a worthwhile mate in your life or won't. I can get my head around this conceptually. Accepting it deeply is harder.
I didn't see the article but while God can put a wife in our life, we still need to hunt for her, pursue her until the chase is over. It took me until age 53 and I wanted to be married decades earlier. In my case, I needed to marry someone from a different country, which is pretty simple to do. That is too outside the comfort zone for many but I know a handful of guys here where I live who did the same. As far as I know it may be either that option or just hunker down and be alone for the rest of our life. My fear of doing that was greater than my fear of taking my chances overseas.
 
I didn't see the article but while God can put a wife in our life, we still need to hunt for her, pursue her until the chase is over. It took me until age 53 and I wanted to be married decades earlier. In my case, I needed to marry someone from a different country, which is pretty simple to do. That is too outside the comfort zone for many but I know a handful of guys here where I live who did the same. As far as I know it may be either that option or just hunker down and be alone for the rest of our life. My fear of doing that was greater than my fear of taking my chances overseas.
God gave us clear instructions on how to maintain a society that encourages marriage and secures the family unit, but we don't live under a theocracy anymore unfortunately. I have no choice as a younger man(mid twenties) but to accept I'll most likely be a monk the rest of my life if my only standard for an ideal partner and marriage is a godly one.
 

estraudi

Kingfisher
Gold Member
Even more unsettling is that in my last two serious relationships, both of the girls had deep-rooted issues that only came out a few months in. Which is frightening. I wonder how much of this is our contemporary mental health decline, and how much is just the normal female craziness that was easier to overlook back when life was a daily challenge.
Nah Mate, that's par the course for modern women. The crazy always comes out between 2 months and 1 year. If you can't distinguish if she's a good girl in that time period then the problem is still her but also you and your red flag radar. I suggest reading up on red flags for a little tune up.
 
There is lots of knowledge and advice on this thread. I'm just about to turn 21 and I have not had any luck in finding a quality woman. I don't want to rush things, but I'm feeling like my prime years to find a good wife will be over in a few more years. I've been praying to God to help me in this situation. I do believe that if it's God's will for me to live a celibate life, I will do it. It's times like these when I keep Romans 8:28 in mind, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." This verse makes me understand that no matter what I go through, God will always turn it to good if I have faith in Him. God's heavenly will is always better than our worldly will.
 
God gave us clear instructions on how to maintain a society that encourages marriage and secures the family unit, but we don't live under a theocracy anymore unfortunately. I have no choice as a younger man(mid twenties) but to accept I'll most likely be a monk the rest of my life if my only standard for an ideal partner and marriage is a godly one.
A monk is a great idea if you have no sex drive whatsoever, a terrible plight for anyone else.
Keep in mind that a godly woman is not a perfect woman. Keep your standards and expectations realistic.
I think the world of my little woman and would die for her, but she is not perfect.
If you believe God made you to marry then you will not be able to handle a monk lifestyle, and I dare say God would expect you to keep looking for a godly woman, somewhere. Why would he give a desire then not provide a way for it?
 
A monk is a great idea if you have no sex drive whatsoever, a terrible plight for anyone else.
Keep in mind that a godly woman is not a perfect woman. Keep your standards and expectations realistic.
I think the world of my little woman and would die for her, but she is not perfect.
If you believe God made you to marry then you will not be able to handle a monk lifestyle, and I dare say God would expect you to keep looking for a godly woman, somewhere. Why would he give a desire then not provide a way for it?
I believe god made certain men for certain purposes. With my height and far below stellar looks, I'm in no territory to pursue women secular or godly, but rather than join the incels in their pity party, I feel I have the purpose to study God's word and preach it to the lost withing the best of my ability.
 
I believe god made certain men for certain purposes. With my height and far below stellar looks, I'm in no territory to pursue women secular or godly, but rather than join the incels in their pity party, I feel I have the purpose to study God's word and preach it to the lost withing the best of my ability.
And for sure don't go MGTOW. I wish you well, but just plain normal looks is where almost everyone is.
 

Max Roscoe

Kingfisher
There is lots of knowledge and advice on this thread. I'm just about to turn 21 and I have not had any luck in finding a quality woman. I don't want to rush things, but I'm feeling like my prime years to find a good wife will be over in a few more years. I've been praying to God to help me in this situation. I do believe that if it's God's will for me to live a celibate life, I will do it. It's times like these when I keep Romans 8:28 in mind, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." This verse makes me understand that no matter what I go through, God will always turn it to good if I have faith in Him. God's heavenly will is always better than our worldly will.
You will become much more attractive to women when you reach 30. And much wiser, financially secure, etc. The only good thing about being 21 is you are naturally exposed to more 21 year olds than I am, and it can be easier to make the initial connection / meeting. In every other way, you are at an enormous disadvantage to guys a decade+ older. Many men in the past never considered marriage for another decade or so. In Roman times, you would perhaps be a centurion into your 30s, then return home with the guarantee of a young, chaste, virgin wife. There is no such guarantee for anyone these days, but the pattern is much more natural than becoming a dad at age 21.
 

CynicalContrarian

Owl
Gold Member
Another 6/10 yet unmarried & childless 36 y/o :

Why was I dating blokes I knew I would grow tired of, or vice versa? Why didn’t I seem that bummed about it?
Following a weekend of pondering, here’s the answer I’ve come up with … I think it’s because at this current moment in my life I just feel really fulfilled. I have a ridiculously loving group of (slightly mad but also switched-on) friends, I have a job I’ve worked hard for, I like my little cosy home, and the bloke who fits into this ol’ life of mine, will have to be pretty darn fab.
But, you see, I don’t want to go look for him.
I don’t feel the tick-tock of a fertility clock and in this modern day, if you want someone to keep your toes warm for a night there’s sure to be a male friend willing to help out.


Until modern chicks give up on their deluded entitlement fantasies.
Not helped at all by all the juvenile Disney princess nonsense.
They'll continue to make the same mistakes.

Thinking they can have it all.
Or even worse.
Thinking they deserve it all.

Never mind that some children die during childbirth.
In other words. Life does not owe anyone a single god damned thing...
 

Max Roscoe

Kingfisher
I think the single greatest problem is that they postpone marriage.
Many of them were decent prospects in their youth. I mean if you think about it, they were all virgins at one point.
Postponing marriage, whether due to careerism, the false notion that "you can have it all," the idea that women should act masculine and have conquests like men, or whatever other reason, is the single biggest cause of all their misery.

If any of these single 38 year old lardasses married someone at 19, they would be happy mothers now, and their husbands would love them (I realize we are in a broken world full of divorce and commitment is discarded in our society, but still, many many MORE of them would be happy as compared to today). Their bitterness would be gone. They would have achieved the primary goal of women--to be wives and mothers--that is now out of reach for even the most beautiful 38 year old.
 

Blade Runner

Kingfisher
A monk is a great idea if you have no sex drive whatsoever, a terrible plight for anyone else.
I tend to agree with this and knowing what I know. I have always been fit and athletic though, so testosterone hasn't gone away and likely won't for a while. I hope to be a bit of a realist, enlightener or encourager for some of the younger guys on here, being that I'm in my 5th decade of life (yes that means 40+). The sex thing is a struggle because it is very much an abused thing, and a source of life, very much restricted by religions appropriately --- but what happens when there is no outlet in your generation for the testosterone? Everyone becomes a monk? It makes me chuckle a bit, I'm not making excuses, thought, trust me.

Keep in mind that a godly woman is not a perfect woman. Keep your standards and expectations realistic.
I think the world of my little woman and would die for her, but she is not perfect.
If you believe God made you to marry then you will not be able to handle a monk lifestyle, and I dare say God would expect you to keep looking for a godly woman, somewhere. Why would he give a desire then not provide a way for it?
One of the problems that arises is that, especially in this day and age (understanding what we do about the generation and no end in sight), you second guess decisions about anyone you did date that could have been a solid partner. And there are often many reasons why it may have been hard to pull the trigger. The problem with so many of the questions (desire, provisions, ease, difficulty) about God and what we do is that we can so easily backfit all the things we did or didn't do. Sometimes it makes me think that with many things in life we really have no idea how they happen, or not - or the real reason why.
 
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