Women can't get their head around someone calling their bluff

It's interesting to me, how in a scenario where someone is out-smarted and you expect that person to cut their losses and walk away. But in that situation only a woman could refuse to give up.

Bare with me while properly explain what I mean. Take the example of a young couple in a relationship. And lets say the girl is of a little bit higher status than the guy. One night they've a bit of an argument and the girl ends up saying "I don't even know what I'm doing in a relationship with you anyway, I could do so much better"! She doesn't actually mean it, and the last thing she expects is that the guy will decide to break things of there and then. But the dude says "you're right... what are we doing together? you don't like me, I don't like you... lets break up". She says "fine" and everything is sorted. But what happens in the morning?! The sobbing begins. She says "I'm sorry, I didn't know what came over me". It won't be so easy for him to leave her!

It might've been the last thing that the girl expected the guy to say, but she took her chances when she made that insult and now he's breaking it off. So she should have to deal with it now, right? If it were the reverse scenario and the guy made the insult, he'd have to deal with her leaving him. He would regret it, but he would have to deal with it. That's the difference. The guy would understand that she called his bluff and that he now has to deal with it. Because you don't get to have it both ways. You can't get to have the pleasure of making such remarks and also demand that the person stay in a relationship with you!

So how is it that in a situation like this a woman can make you doubt yourself about whether you're being fair towards her in a situation like this? Why is it that us men feel it might be us who's responsible if she starts crying? Why can't she be held accountable for what she said? In the business world if a man tried the same manipulative tactics on another man he'd be laughed at. In the world of men, once you've made your decision, there is no going back on it. I guess it's important to remember that women operate by different rules! Just interesting that's all. Such a scenario never even happened to me, but it probably will some day!

On a related note, take this scene here. The woman has just had sex with the guy, and then tells him (afterwards) that it was in return for a favour. And it works! It's completely realistic.

 
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I think the reason why men doubt themselves is because men are designed to be fair, and so they're more willing to question themselves. And women have so many options that often it doesn't matter whether you call her bluff or not. There's always another fool.

Anyway I don't even know what I'm doing replying to this thread. There are so many better threads out there. I'm so over this.
 
It's interesting to me, how in a scenario where someone is out-smarted and you expect that person to cut their losses and walk away. But in that situation only a woman could refuse to give up.

Bare with me while properly explain what I mean. Take the example of a young couple in a relationship. And lets say the girl is of a little bit higher status than the guy. One night they've a bit of an argument and the girl ends up saying "I don't even know what I'm doing in a relationship with you anyway, I could do so much better"! She doesn't actually mean it, and the last thing she expects is that the guy will decide to break things of there and then. But the dude says "you're right... what are we doing together? you don't like me, I don't like you... lets break up". She says "fine" and everything is sorted. But what happens in the morning?! The sobbing begins. She says "I'm sorry, I didn't know what came over me". It won't be so easy for him to leave her!

It might've been the last thing that the girl expected the guy to say, but she took her chances when she made that insult and now he's breaking it off. So she should have to deal with it now, right? If it were the reverse scenario and the guy made the insult, he'd have to deal with her leaving him. He would regret it, but he would have to deal with it. That's the difference. The guy would understand that she called his bluff and that he now has to deal with it. Because you don't get to have it both ways. You can't get to have the pleasure of making such remarks and also demand that the person stay in a relationship with you!

So how is it that in a situation like this a woman can make you doubt yourself about whether you're being fair towards her in a situation like this? Why is it that us men feel it might be us who's responsible if she starts crying? Why can't she be held accountable for what she said? In the business world if a man tried the same manipulative tactics on another man he'd be laughed at. In the world of men, once you've made your decision, there is no going back on it. I guess it's important to remember that women operate by different rules! Just interesting that's all. Such a scenario never even happened to me, but it probably will some day!

On a related note, take this scene here. The woman has just had sex with the guy, and then tells him (afterwards) that it was in return for a favour. And it works! It's completely realistic.

I've always said "That who cries wins". It's the strength of weakness. Of course that only applies to women. If a man started crying in the middle of a convrdsation he would be considered mentally unstable and a pathetic weakling. On the other hand a woman might steal your wallet but if she starts crying when you call herself on it you automatically become an abuser. Typically a woman will try to dominate you and manipulate you and as soon as she notices you won't have it she will start crying.

That doesn't only applies to relationships; my mother is the same.

They want to have their cake and eat it. Pretend they can do anything a man can do but have the victim wild card available. You only have to see all those "brave" female athletes coming out denouncing "systematic abuse", abuse consisting in discipline, hard training and weight standards fitting an elite athlete. Can you imagine a male elite athlete denouncing publicly than his evil coach told him to lose weight?
 
You only have to see all those "brave" female athletes coming out denouncing "systematic abuse", abuse consisting in discipline, hard training and weight standards fitting an elite athlete. Can you imagine a male elite athlete denouncing publicly than his evil coach told him to lose weight?
There's another way of looking at it. But as a man, in similar situations where I've felt like I was wrongly treated I often didn't do anything.

In being an introspective I immediately think in terms of the mistakes I made, both in terms of what brought the incident upon myself (as no one is completely without blame), and also how I could've handled it better at the time of being treated unfairly. I'd think to myself that at least I'll know exactly how to address something like that if someone tries it on me again.

I'd also be likely to be embarrassed to raise such an issue... perhaps because I would know that I should've raised it sooner. Where as women have no problem bringing up something from years back. Take the rape allegation against Ronaldo.

Maybe as men we feel that we owe it to the person who treated us unfairly to raise the issue with them alone, and that we think it's pussy-like behavior to raise the issue with the appropriate authority instead. We also feel that in raising such an issue that all we are doing is only making public the mistakes that we ourselves made.

So that could also be another reason why women are more likely speak up and alledge mistreatment.
 
Men have an instinct for fairness and justice. Women find it hard to relate to the idea of right and wrong unless it involves them personally. Notice how women tend to use themselves or people they know as examples to try and make a point, instead of arguing on principle.
Okay, I am very humbled that you took the time to respond to my inferior thread!
 

questor70

Ostrich
the dude says "you're right... what are we doing together? you don't like me, I don't like you... lets break up". She says "fine" and everything is sorted. But what happens in the morning?! The sobbing begins. She says "I'm sorry, I didn't know what came over me".

Speaking of bf/gf and not marriage here, but as far as I'm concerned the ONLY way to manage a woman who says she's unhappy in the relationship and either says she wants to break up or issues an ultimatum is to politely show her the door. Women are the gatekeepers of "the act" and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. If a woman has already opened her gate she's lost her dominance. Sure, she could start over with a new guy, but it's really the guy's ongoing commitment that she can't control. So her leaving should be seen as a weak move for any self-respecting guy who isn't crippled by scarcity mindset. Even if you DO have scarcity mindset, who would want to be in a relationship with a woman who whines and complains? I know it's their way but it's not even close to any definition of love that I recognize. Whether they're bluffing or desperate or whatever I'm going to take those complaints as dead serious and a sign of incompatibility and show her the door. You put your best foot forward but in the end it should always be be an unapologetic "take it or leave it" proposition. I've learned that most partners that get together, despite whatever initial spark, are really incompatible. You just don't uncover the pain points until later.

As far as her leaving and then turning around again, at that point she has to know that on again off again never leads to anything serious. A guy who lets her back in will have permanently demoted her whether he admits it to her or not. Any illusions of happily ever after go out the door for me as soon as the first big fight erupts.
 
Absolutely.

If the situation was reversed, only the man would be facing the brunt of the entire episode.

But since it is the woman or the 'fairer sex', such behaviour is dismissed or if not there are plenty of social conventions which she can use to excuse this sort of behaviour on her part.

In today's society and culture where women are subtly and overtly treated like princesses, their sense of entitlement and self worth have gone off limits.

And so if someone were to call out a woman, she would not be used to this sort of feeling. Her first instinct would be to deny it or to rationalise it where society plays no small part.

Which is also why the convention of shaming works so effectively on women. Women are social creatures. They care about social status and approval.

So when someone threatens to shame them, they freak out.
 
^ this is a perfect example of why we must return to God as a society. Women know that in today's society sex and lust sell and which creatures on this earth have the most natural sex appeal of them all?

shaming will only work once we returned to a more modest society. Otherwise majority people will be too distracted by a woman's sex appeal to take any man's side against a woman's.
 
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