Women with kids and dating

[Barron]

Would you date either?

I have self respect, so no.

In fact not only would I not date them, when I encounter them I feel as if the environment I'm inhabiting has been degraded and I just want to go home and forget about ever seeing them.

Both are child abusers.
And far from empowerment, society should be doing everything it can to prevent their recurrence.

 

[stugatz]

Never. Even if she's an innocent single mother and her husband died in Iraq or something, that kid isn't mine and it's going to be very awkward if he starts acting out and saying that I'm not his father. And if I had a kid with her, half-siblings are just a can of worms I don't want to open. (It's better than stepsiblings, but probably not by much.)

 

[unit414]

Never. Even if she's an innocent single mother and her husband died in Iraq or something, that kid isn't mine and it's going to be very awkward if he starts acting out and saying that I'm not his father. And if I had a kid with her, half-siblings are just a can of worms I don't want to open. (It's better than stepsiblings, but probably not by much.)

I can see why you are on this forum. You are totally realistic and based.

 

[stugatz]

I can see why you are on this forum. You are totally realistic and based.

It’s taken years, I used to be obsessed with dating and women.

Lately I have made peace with the fact that I may not find anyone...it doesn’t stress me out so much anymore, but it would definitely be a disappointment.

I’d rather be single than be in a relationship I don’t want, or be with someone who uses me.

 

[westernman]

I would not. This seems to be the norm on tinder though

 

[Cervantes]

Marriage is a vocation, sacred to God. So you have an obligation to form the best marriage you can.

If you're a young man (under 35), keeping yourself as best you can from being soiled by the world, then you should only accept a pious virgin younger than yourself.

If you're not keeping yourself from sin - then you should work to improve and then find a virgin to marry.

If you're an older man, like over 45, or have already made serious life mistakes (you have children, or a long history of fornication, were previously married, past abortions) then you should consider women who have made similar mistakes and are also trying to recover. That would include a woman, younger than yourself, with children.

The further you have strayed from God's plan for a Christian family, the more you should accept this in a woman's past.

But you should only consider a woman who understands these previous choices were wrong. Of course she should love her current children - but her attitude should still be that it would have been better to follow God's plan - and a commitment to follow it in the future.

 

[Bluto]

"You can't turn a hoe into a housewife."

 

[MartyMcFly]

Single mothers are riskier but it depends on many factors and there are obvious disadvantages and challenges. Things to consider:

1) If her husband died and she is a widow and it was a good marriage-she could be a stable and good woman but she may compare you to her dead husband at times and it might mean a slightly weaker emotional bond.

2) Her kid will likely come first. This is not always bad because a good mother will care about her child. The key is that she also puts in effort to be a good wife as well. She will also expect you to be a good father which is also not necessarily bad and depends on the man.

3) How old is the kid and how well can he/she accept a stepparent? This is mixed. Some stepfathers have great relationships with the step-kids and some have poor relationships.

4) The ex-husband: If he is alive and not serving a long prison sentence, he might want to see the kid and this leads to awkward meetings. Some ex-husbands might also try to get the ex-wife back and sometimes they succeed.

Making this list makes me realize dating a single mother is worse than I thought...haha. However, if she is truly a good woman and you date her for awhile and watch out for any red flags, she could be a good match.

Baby mamas-nope-the risk of drama is too high.

 

[Godward]

Single mothers are riskier but it depends on many factors and there are obvious disadvantages and challenges. Things to consider:

1) If her husband died and she is a widow and it was a good marriage-she could be a stable and good woman but she may compare you to her dead husband at times and it might mean a slightly weaker emotional bond.

2) Her kid will likely come first. This is not always bad because a good mother will care about her child. The key is that she also puts in effort to be a good wife as well. She will also expect you to be a good father which is also not necessarily bad and depends on the man.

3) How old is the kid and how well can he/she accept a stepparent? This is mixed. Some stepfathers have great relationships with the step-kids and some have poor relationships.

4) The ex-husband: If he is alive and not serving a long prison sentence, he might want to see the kid and this leads to awkward meetings. Some ex-husbands might also try to get the ex-wife back and sometimes they succeed.

Making this list makes me realize dating a single mother is worse than I thought...haha. However, if she is truly a good woman and you date her for awhile and watch out for any red flags, she could be a good match.

Baby mamas-nope-the risk of drama is too high.

I would answer to the contrary that it is the single mother who off-limits. Almost all of them are divorcees. Divorce is a heretical superstition. It just does not exist. So, mating such a single mother is committing adultery with someone else’s wife, pure and simple. There are of course single mothers who are widows, to which this caveat does not apply.

Baby mamas are indeed often drama queens. And they made the mistake of getting pregnant out of wedlock. But they also made the right decision of not aborting the child. If she is truly repentant, a young baby mommy could be an option. But I would add: an option for relatively older men who have more life experience, and can handle the drama better.

 

[Gimlet]

Baby Mommas allowed the attractive, alpha male to ejaculate inside of her with no commitment, with no standards other than swagger that got her sexually excited. She could not delay instant gratification for the greater good. She did not think that her bloodline matters, so she did not purposefully breed with a man to form the next family unit in the bloodline. She is broken and not worth dating. Unless she admits her wrongdoing and accepts a man who is so much older he isn't wanting to have children. And every day with him, she pinches herself for the luck of meeting him. And fully submits to him without even thinking about it.

 

[Gremlin]

The divorced mother's list of priorities:

1. Her kids
2 Her pets
3. Her social media / TikTok accounts
4. Your wallet
5. You

All divorced mothers might as well be demonesses to be avoided or shot with super soakers full of holy water.

 

[articulatecool]

Would you date either?

Do some reflecting and figure out your value as a man in society. If you are a successful, better looking, fit guy with very little baggage, you probably can avoid single moms and any woman past 35 years of age. If you have some baggage yourself (kids from previous relationship, nasty divorce, etc.), then maybe beggars can't be choosers.

To answer your question, I dated single moms/baby mamas, but would never consider them for marriage.

 

[BananaLlama]

I think if the woman is willing to have one of your children as well (preferably more than one) dating someone who no fault of their ended up a single mother is fine. There are some shockingly fit single mothers out there - who know their value is greatly decreased so they work hard to compensate for it. And you know they can raise children.