Women's Entitled Attitudes - Boyfriends Should Pay Living Expenses

[Que enspastic]

Deal is pretty lame.

On this forum we want more money for better pussy, more time and/or more independence.

What does this dude want more money for ? He's getting none of that in return.

He should forget the rent and get some cooked meals and cleaning in return.

He's shitting on his r/s with this girl while drawing her into his house as a tenant??

I know lots of dudes and their girls who gladly help each other out when tight for rent. It's not just dudes helping out the girls - works the other way too.

Need pics of this guy and his girl.

 

[Celtic]

But what are the chances an american girl is actually going to cook and clean for the guy? Maybe some of you all are alpha enough to pull that off, but i think most modern american women find the idea degrading.

Shouldnt both sides contribute in a relationship? If she isnt going to cook and clean, which from her letter it doesnt sound like she would, why should she get free housing in exchange for nothing?

 

[Foolsgo1d]

Smart man. If she pays rent, then I don't believe common law will be recognized(if they live together for 7 years in California), and she will have no right to his income or property if they split up. Also, a rental agreement protects him even further from being stuck with her in the home for an indefinite period of time if shit ever goes bad. The lawyers in here will know more than me on the subject, so please correct me if I'm wrong.

Not sure about the US but here in the UK a rental agreement bestows rights as a tenant and may become difficult to revoke should the relationship turn toxic.

Extending an act of friendship does not bestow rights as a tenant and can be revoked without resorting to lawyers.


In short, charging a girlfriend rent can be seem as a cheap shot and a cause of un-neccesary resentment buildup. If however she cooks, cleans and is a nice person to be with around my place and I can afford the place without any help then I dont see why I would charge her rent.

It is when she starts dictating the comings and goings of the household that would get me. That is power-creep and sets a very dangerous precedent for the future.

 

[jamaicabound]

I don't think his actions are wrong and the woman is certainly entitled, but it's a bit strange overall. If I liked a woman enough to live together with her, her contribution to living expenses would be the last thing on my mind, unless I was financially unable to do it and thus needed her to contribute. Must be the flip side to the fact that it's hard for a woman to move in with me

I'm kind of the same mindset that if I'm that serious with a girl it's not as big a deal to me. That said I think myself and others on this forum moving in is a much bigger deal than to us than it is to many guys. I have some buddies and know people in social circules who will move in with a chick at the drop of a hat without much thought, just play house with a chick for a while and then move on. To me if I'm gonna move in with ya its probably heading towards marriage as that would be a big move for me but many guys do move in withh chicks rather casually.

Hell just the other day I went to my girls friends housewarming party. They been together like 5 months if that and are moving in together.

 

[Blaster]

Not saying that there's no entitlement on the part of the females here, but I find this dude's actions a little strange. If I'm going to agree to live with my girlfriend of three years (a pretty big step to take in a relationship), I'm not going to make her pay rent. She's my woman, not my tenant, and the relationship we have is presumably a romantic one, not a business arrangement.

Now, some sort of informal arrangement with regard to splitting household expenses is fine given the fact that the relationship is ostensibly a partnership and both partners have to agree to contribute (she takes care of some of the bills, handles her own personal expenses, etc), but imposing some sort of formal monthly rent agreement on her? Don't know if I'd go that route.

Is this beta?

Just avoid being a chump. In some cases, a "formal" agreement really is a better way to go. It's far worse to make different assumptions about responsibility and not realize until it's too late to do anything about it.

 

[Basil Ransom]

I'm surprised at how many guys here are taking her side more or less. If a girl has a job and makes money, why I should I take the hit of several hundred dollars a month in added expenses to care for her ass, when all she is doing is getting fucked? The girl is saying "what's mine is mine and what's yours is ours." It's hard to imagine a bigger turn off than a girl who isn't willing to contribute as much as you, to the extent of her ability. That's a one way ticket to getting played.

 

[Parlay44]

It's all about who has control in the relationship. If she's a modern 50/50 girl and both have say in life choices then yeah you split the bills. If she's "the girl" in the relationship and you're "the man" then you run the show and pay the bills.

I have no problem paying the bills if I run the show.

 

[Dr. Howard]

I'm surprised at how many guys here are taking her side more or less. If a girl has a job and makes money, why I should I take the hit of several hundred dollars a month in added expenses to care for her ass, when all she is doing is getting fucked? The girl is saying "what's mine is mine and what's yours is ours." It's hard to imagine a bigger turn off than a girl who isn't willing to contribute as much as you, to the extent of her ability. That's a one way ticket to getting played.

I'm with Basil, if the guy was that into her she likely could have moved in before 3 years. This woman is a cunt, with her whole "he can afford it" it attitude. She has the same mindset as the 'tax the rich, they can afford it, but then give me an EITC credit' bullshit.

This guy would have been better off establishing a written loan to this bitch and paying her rent to stay in her current place. If she gets retarded just stop paying and let her fight it out with her roomates.

OR

If she's out of work, hire her as a domestic worker, legally pay her for services rendered to clean his house and cook him food and use that wage to pay her own rent. Again, now she's legally bound for service, if she slacks off, write her up and give her a letter as to what it was for an if it happens again she is fired.

When it comes to money, get it in writing and when it comes to tenants don't have them in your own dwelling/living space.

 

[Engineer]

Golddigger, plain and simple. No offer to share living expenses, no strong work ethic, and seeking outside advice/approval for an issue easy enough to discuss like an adult with your partner. Three red flags, she's OUT!

 

[Blaster]

I'm surprised at how many guys here are taking her side more or less. If a girl has a job and makes money, why I should I take the hit of several hundred dollars a month in added expenses to care for her ass, when all she is doing is getting fucked? The girl is saying "what's mine is mine and what's yours is ours." It's hard to imagine a bigger turn off than a girl who isn't willing to contribute as much as you, to the extent of her ability. That's a one way ticket to getting played.

The other side of "what's mine is mine and what's yours is ours" is the issue of "what's mine is awesome and what's yours sucks."

To put it another way:

We can split expenses evenly and live in a shithole, or I can pay extra for us both to live in a nicer place, or we can live separately. Since you're willing to live in a shithole as long as it's with me, but I'm not willing to live in a shithole under any circumstances, I guess I'm willing to pay extra.

It's often a case of weak bargaining position, even if it's back-rationalized as "caring about each other" and whatnot.

 

[Que enspastic]

Dude owns the place outright.

Say he has a 1 bedroom, he can't charge rent from anyone else. So this girl moving in gives him rent he wouldn't otherwise be able to charge from anyone else.

Her sharing bills and helping to keep place clean is fair.

Charging her rent is weird because if you don't care about the girl, you wouldn't want her to live with you in your house, but if you do care about her, you wouldn't take her money to enrich yourself at her expense. She'll pick up on the incongruity of a dude doing something that usually indicates he cares a lot but which in this situation indicates he doesn't care much for her.

This tension will inevitably sour the relationship, turn it into a landlord / tenant relationship with possible legal implications rather than a partnership working together towards a common purpose, and make it messy when she decides to bail.

Who on this forum would opt for this arrangment thinking about how it will probably play out long term? It's a massive self-inflicted headache to be avoided.

 

[Basil Ransom]

" If she's "the girl" in the relationship and you're "the man" then you run the show and pay the bills. "

I think you and others are so used to girls doing nothing that if they offer slightly more than nothing, you are content, whereas I wouldn't settle for an unfair division of labor and expenses (not equal per se).

I see it as a sign of disrespect if a girl is willing to shovel out money to maintain her independence by paying for her own spot, but isn't willing to use some of that money instead to help out with our expenses (eg paying our shared grocery bill and the utilities, or splitting rent). She's implicitly putting a higher value on her independence than her relationship with you. I say let her be independent if she feels that way, keep your own place and keep getting some strange. These independent career women are not about to become devoted housewive sex slaves just because you're covering their rent. And once you get into the frame of 'i'm paying because she's sleeping with me' you're getting played.

 

[scorpion]

If she's working she should be paying at least a few hundred dollars toward covering the rent/mortgage. There's no need to split it 50/50 if the man is significantly out-earning her, but there's no reason for a working woman to get a free ride on housing.

After all, what the hell is she working for? If you don't insist that she pay a portion of the rent, what do you think she's going to do with the money instead?

Save it? Donate it to charity? Carefully invest it in a balanced portfolio of stocks and bonds?

:jordan:

No. She will be spending it on food, clothes, shoes, eating out and the myriad other ways that women love to waste money. Women don't view not paying rent as an opportunity to save money, but as an opportunity to re-direct their spending toward fun things.

If she's not working then I'd have no problem covering all the bills as long as the following conditions were met:

1) The house stays spotless
2) My meals are cooked daily
3) She stays in great shape
4) She appreciates what I'm giving her rather than nagging and bitching that I'm not giving her enough

Basically, she's got to earn her room and board one way or another. No free ride for any grown ass woman. I mean, that's only respectful, right? We're supposed to treat women as intelligent adults I believe. So I wouldn't dare insult them by assuming they need to be taken care of like helpless children.

 

[CrackerDaddy]

I was just browsing on google earlier and saw this thread about a lady in LA asking other yelpers if its out of line for her boyfriend to charge her rent if she lives with him. I was expecting responses saying yeah don't be a deadbeat pay your way and things along those lines but to my surprise almost every response is supporting her saying yeah her boyfriend makes plenty of money why should she pay rent, or let her pay the waterbill and call it a day or that she'll help around the house.

I was shocked to read this. Figured you guys would also get a kick out of it. I truly was shocked by this womens attitude of entitlement as well as the overhwelming support she got. Some idiots even trying to say if she pays rent and utilities for a year she now has some legal claim to his home lol

I've dated some girls like this in the past. I'm cheap and I don't spend shit on girls so there's no reason for any chick to get the impression she's gonna be taken care of or anything along those lines but I've actuallyy had chicks try to get mad at me and or make me feel guilty for spending my own money on shit I want, making comments like oh they could have been taken out to dinner instead of me buying a new gun or whatever else like they have some claim to my money.

http://www.yelp.com/topic/los-angeles-should-my-boyfriend-charge-me-rent

My boyfriend of three years who makes over 100K per year,( his last bonus was 13K )and he owns his home, recently offered to let me move in. I am a recently unemployed sales rep, who on average when working makes high 40-mid 50K. My Boyfriend counter offers the move in with "you can pay the same that your paying now to your current roommate, I wouldn't ask you for anymore than that". I calmly said I would think it over, but feel just sick to my stomach. I feel any romance to the situation was out the window, we have spoke of children and getting married someday. Will he turn to me while I am in labor and say " Oh yeah, rents due!". I am not a girlfriend who just takes, for two whole years we went dutch and I still offer to pay and buy things with out being asked. Please also keep in mind I am recently unemployed, where is the helping hand here? OK YELPERS, LET ME HAVE IT...AM I WRONG TO FEEL THIS WAY?



- That's messed up, at least least just make you pay for groceries. He makes plenty as it is.


-If you guys have been talking marriage and kids
he should NOT be asking for rent on a house that's already paid for
I hope you make it clear that there is a charge for allowing his future children to occupy your belly for 9 months.
PLUS a deposit.


- If he wants to charge you rent,
you should charge him to park his car in your vagina.

He owns the home, therefore he is the landlord. If he "charges you rent" there is no question he can throw your ass out if/when the relationship sours. On the other hand, if you "helped him pay on the mortage and utils for years on end"... now the home is part yours. Legally. Oh what a tangled web we weave.

- Dude is extremely selfish. If he were to lose his job. Not only would he be devastated but he would be looking for you to help him emotionally and probably financially. I am guessing you would not want anythin in return because in anloving relationship you are supposed to be there for each other. If everything is going good now and he is liked that, imagine how he will be when things aren't going so well.

- I know exactly where you are coming from! I feel the same way. I am only working part time and have now moved in with my BF the exact same month I began working part time and we calculated the amount I would be helping him with. NOW he owns his own business but the business is real slow right now and he is unable to make all the payments by himself. To date I have not given him any money because I am still working PT but I am sure after I began to start working FT I will have to give my share. Everyone believes that he should carry out the biggest expense of living together which is the mortgage payment - I do buy food all the time but that's about it. So I hope you don't have to pay any mortgage payments, specially if he makes real good $$$.

I wonder, if the roles were reversed, would she expect the boyfriend to contribute to the bills as he reasonably requested?

 

[CrackerDaddy]

I'm surprised at how many guys here are taking her side more or less. If a girl has a job and makes money, why I should I take the hit of several hundred dollars a month in added expenses to care for her ass, when all she is doing is getting fucked? The girl is saying "what's mine is mine and what's yours is ours." It's hard to imagine a bigger turn off than a girl who isn't willing to contribute as much as you, to the extent of her ability. That's a one way ticket to getting played.

FWIW, the last time I lived with a girlfriend (big mistake...BIG) I paid half the household bills, even though she had two children living there and she and I shared her bedroom. She expected the bills be split down the middle....and would still hit me up for extra money to cover various "emergencies" and unforeseen expenses.

I can assure you she would've had a stroke if the roles had been reversed. Most women are just looking or a way to get over on their guy and are shameless about it......asking the whole time "why aren't there any good man out there" and "what happened to chivalry". Fuck that noise! Just my $.02.

 

[HonantheBarbarian]

I hate this bitch's entitled attitude, but I'm gonna have to play devil's advocate on this one;

-House is paid off, meaning he owns it
-Talk of marriage and kids
-supposedly serious relationship

Although we may not be getting the full scoop, Its hard not to view the dude as a piece of shit given the evidence presented.

I mean its not like he has a mortgage to pay off, or he's short on cash. If he was still making payments on the home it would be a completely reasonable expectation, but his shit is already payed off. If he was doing it to control the frame more power to him, but that doesn't appear to be the case. He just sounds like a cheap beta from here.

PS: If it were me I'd make her buy all the groceries and pay for cable and/or netflix. That sounds about right. Going completely dutch on a payed off house is a bit jewish.

 

[Basil Ransom]

Scorpion brought up a good angle I ignored - that what do you think this chick is going to put the money towards? Your unborn son's college education fund? Fuck no. This chick will be blowing the cash - better for everyone else that you divert some of it for yourself, for charity, for something more constructive. American women love love love throwing cash around for servants to feed them and groom them so they can feel like royalty. I don't do any of that, and would not let a woman get free rent from me just to turn around and shovel that money towards her personal servants.

"Going completely dutch on a payed off house is a bit jewish."

I had grown up hearing that Jewish men are beta while Aryans are alpha, but apparently it's the opposite...

 

[Trim]

A great insight to how women think. Thanks for posting this.

 

[HonantheBarbarian]

^^Basil, people have been misusing the term Aryan constantly since about 17th century. I don't think it means what you think it means.

And I meant Jewish from the fiscal sense, not the alpha/beta sense. Although I will say most jewish males that I've met act like bigger, hairier jewish women. Not exactly textbook frame control.

Not hating on either group, just observing.

 

[weambulance]

Some of you seem to be under the impression that just because a house is paid off, it's free to live in. Are you familiar with property tax, utilities and maintenance expenses? I'm temporarily living with a friend right now and I estimate his tax/utilities/maintenance at $550 a month plus all the time he has to spend doing yard work and shit. This is an expensive place to live, but elsewhere owning a house still costs several thousand dollars a year. I guess you think just because the boyfriend is paying it anyway, she should sponge off him for free?

She's an entitled shrew. If she doesn't want to contribute cash, why on earth would you think she's the type to cook and clean without complaint? She's looking for a free ride. F that.