Would you get married, and would you have kids?
- Thread starter TheRookie
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It would be good if we could get some more 50 + guys to tune in and tell us how there feelings towards the subject have changed over the years; I know now in my late 30s, I think a hell of alot different to when i was 20 about it all (obviously) The main thing I can see now that I did not realize would be the case at this age is that I have so many choices. But I am really not interested in the choices on offer from western women; eventually I may form a LTR with a Latina, SEA, or EE women.
I'd love to be married and have kids someday. Western women are out of the question though, and unless it's absolutely necessary due to my location independent income not being large enough, I will do my best to keep my wife out of the West and to select one who is resistant to its "charms".
Otherwise, hell no.
Otherwise, hell no.
TheWastelander
Ostrich
I want to get married and have kids but the only way that's happening is if she lives up to my standards and earnestly shares the same beliefs.
do you guys realize how physically unattractive most women women over 35 can get? you already have a demanding boss at work why would you want another one at home? kids? they'll drain your energy and bank account, disrespect you when they're teenagers and then move to another city and you'll only see them once a year.
not to mention the devastating impact a bad divorce can have on a guy
not to mention the devastating impact a bad divorce can have on a guy
I have a hard time fully respecting a man who has the means to raise a family but deliberately decides not to do it.
Imagine this scenario:
You have an intergenerational family meeting. A huge one. Your parents are there, your grandparents, their parents, your long deceased ancestors from 1789, hundreds of family members. They worked their arses off on farms, in mines, in factories, in offices and as self-employed entrepreneurs, under conditions inconceivable to our comfortable 21st century lifestyle. They went to war as soldiers, were likewise victims of war, poverty, exploitation, servitude or slavery. They saw nations rise and fall, they saw the farce of history repeating itself. Probably not all of them were good people but crooks, sluts, thieves, rapists, whores, traitors, impostors, liars, or murderers. Yet, they are the fucking reason you exist.
Now, everyone has a piece of cream tart on their plates and black coffee in their cups. They talk about the history of your family, the good times, the bad times, the contradictions, the failures, the successes. They argue a lot, but in the end everyone can agree on the wonder of life and that it's a good thing to see that they left a legacy, that helped not only their own children but many generations after them. To see that the great-grandchild of a rural farmworker and housemaid in Sicily owns a penthouse in Chicago. To see that the darn yuppie did not forget his roots and tells his kids about his Sicilian ancestors. To see that all the hardships and all the toil were eventually worth it. To see that not only the rich and the nobility have family histories to be proud of.
Now, everyone's turning toward you. Your cousins died in a plane crash, your parents wanted an only-child, you're the remaining successor.
All your relatives know it's not always easy in 2014, people are smartphone-addicted, the environment is destroyed, the economic system is flawed, society became shallow and stupid. Anyway, your grandfather who lost his leg in WW1 but managed return home, impregnate his wife with four kids and survive the Great Depression and your great-great-great-...-great-grandmother who survived the plague in medieval Europe with three of her nine children, ask you in calm minute:
"So, how about you, young lad? Where is your wife? When are you gonna have kids so that we can have a bigger crowd for next year's meeting?"
And you have nothing better to say than:
"Nah. You know, divorce laws kinda suck in this country, kids are expensive and in case you didn't notice: this whole feminism fucked everything up, the hoes don't respect us men anymore act in general totally unladylike. No, thanks."
Do you really want to be THAT guy?
Now, you could say: if my ancestors lived in our age they would make similar decisions, no kids, no marriage. Also: Every familyline will be discontinued at some point. Maybe my considerations are futile in the grand scheme of the cosmos where a family history of 300 years is just a footnote for the workings of time and matter. But fuck, I can't believe that some of you guys show such a disrespect to your ancestors and to their achievements. It's a denial of history and tradition, it's egoistical, it's narcissistic, it's materialistic - everything that the prevailing right-wing ideology in the manosphere despises in modern women.
Many of you guys here are decently educated, work on themselves, speak several languages and have the mindsets of traveling internationalists. No way, you can't figure out how to make a waterproof prenup, how to fuck chicks on the side when your wife gets fat or boring in bed, or at least to move to Thailand and impregnate a woman there.
I clicked on "marry, kids".
Imagine this scenario:
You have an intergenerational family meeting. A huge one. Your parents are there, your grandparents, their parents, your long deceased ancestors from 1789, hundreds of family members. They worked their arses off on farms, in mines, in factories, in offices and as self-employed entrepreneurs, under conditions inconceivable to our comfortable 21st century lifestyle. They went to war as soldiers, were likewise victims of war, poverty, exploitation, servitude or slavery. They saw nations rise and fall, they saw the farce of history repeating itself. Probably not all of them were good people but crooks, sluts, thieves, rapists, whores, traitors, impostors, liars, or murderers. Yet, they are the fucking reason you exist.
Now, everyone has a piece of cream tart on their plates and black coffee in their cups. They talk about the history of your family, the good times, the bad times, the contradictions, the failures, the successes. They argue a lot, but in the end everyone can agree on the wonder of life and that it's a good thing to see that they left a legacy, that helped not only their own children but many generations after them. To see that the great-grandchild of a rural farmworker and housemaid in Sicily owns a penthouse in Chicago. To see that the darn yuppie did not forget his roots and tells his kids about his Sicilian ancestors. To see that all the hardships and all the toil were eventually worth it. To see that not only the rich and the nobility have family histories to be proud of.
Now, everyone's turning toward you. Your cousins died in a plane crash, your parents wanted an only-child, you're the remaining successor.
All your relatives know it's not always easy in 2014, people are smartphone-addicted, the environment is destroyed, the economic system is flawed, society became shallow and stupid. Anyway, your grandfather who lost his leg in WW1 but managed return home, impregnate his wife with four kids and survive the Great Depression and your great-great-great-...-great-grandmother who survived the plague in medieval Europe with three of her nine children, ask you in calm minute:
"So, how about you, young lad? Where is your wife? When are you gonna have kids so that we can have a bigger crowd for next year's meeting?"
And you have nothing better to say than:
"Nah. You know, divorce laws kinda suck in this country, kids are expensive and in case you didn't notice: this whole feminism fucked everything up, the hoes don't respect us men anymore act in general totally unladylike. No, thanks."
Do you really want to be THAT guy?
Now, you could say: if my ancestors lived in our age they would make similar decisions, no kids, no marriage. Also: Every familyline will be discontinued at some point. Maybe my considerations are futile in the grand scheme of the cosmos where a family history of 300 years is just a footnote for the workings of time and matter. But fuck, I can't believe that some of you guys show such a disrespect to your ancestors and to their achievements. It's a denial of history and tradition, it's egoistical, it's narcissistic, it's materialistic - everything that the prevailing right-wing ideology in the manosphere despises in modern women.
Many of you guys here are decently educated, work on themselves, speak several languages and have the mindsets of traveling internationalists. No way, you can't figure out how to make a waterproof prenup, how to fuck chicks on the side when your wife gets fat or boring in bed, or at least to move to Thailand and impregnate a woman there.
I clicked on "marry, kids".
As a guy in his late 30s who works in a company/field (finance) where the vast majority of men my age are married, I could expound on this all day.
I get mixed messages about this from male coworkers/bosses. The slightly older ones encourage me but give me subtle warnings, and also are always interested in what I did over the weekend. The ones that are adamant about it always have the fat, annoying wife. Misery loves company.
I'd say the biggest difference from when before I came here to these forums and after is how I feel and answer the whole marriage question.
Before I'd be self conscious about it. A guy my age should probably be married, it would be good for my career, etc.
Now, I feel confident in my choices. Sure, I'll get married, but it will be on my terms. The fact of the matter is there is a severe lack of quality, marriageable women. Even just the basic 7, who is cute and feminine, with a pleasant disposition, is hard to find. There are a plethora of 5s and 6s out there, and they just suck. They're not fat, but they're not feminine. They are almost always these new-agey, ex-hipster women in their early-mid 30s who realize that lifestyle sucked and are looking for a provider. They think their quirky interests and personalities elevate their attractiveness, after all, that's what their friends tell them.
Not saying I get laid left and right, but meeting attractive, feminine women who are DTF has never been a problem for me. That they turn out to be criminally insane is another thing. So simply put, why would I give that up unless it is for a woman who actually has some basic feminine qualities? If the day comes when I can no longer attract bangable women, I'm fine with that. At least I'll be able to keep all I've got.
I get mixed messages about this from male coworkers/bosses. The slightly older ones encourage me but give me subtle warnings, and also are always interested in what I did over the weekend. The ones that are adamant about it always have the fat, annoying wife. Misery loves company.
I'd say the biggest difference from when before I came here to these forums and after is how I feel and answer the whole marriage question.
Before I'd be self conscious about it. A guy my age should probably be married, it would be good for my career, etc.
Now, I feel confident in my choices. Sure, I'll get married, but it will be on my terms. The fact of the matter is there is a severe lack of quality, marriageable women. Even just the basic 7, who is cute and feminine, with a pleasant disposition, is hard to find. There are a plethora of 5s and 6s out there, and they just suck. They're not fat, but they're not feminine. They are almost always these new-agey, ex-hipster women in their early-mid 30s who realize that lifestyle sucked and are looking for a provider. They think their quirky interests and personalities elevate their attractiveness, after all, that's what their friends tell them.
Not saying I get laid left and right, but meeting attractive, feminine women who are DTF has never been a problem for me. That they turn out to be criminally insane is another thing. So simply put, why would I give that up unless it is for a woman who actually has some basic feminine qualities? If the day comes when I can no longer attract bangable women, I'm fine with that. At least I'll be able to keep all I've got.
Flint said:
This always amuses me. Your whole post essentially could have been whittled down to this instead.
I think it's pretty arrogant to suggest that you leave some kind of legacy, like any of it really matters or that you are actually significant in the survival of man kind.
You have one life and you should live it how you see fit.
Lord_Perseus
Robin
In an ideal world a wife & kids is the way to go. I see old movies where a man has the loving supportive wife who makes him feel like the luckiest guy alive & a couple of happy kids & very much want the same thing. Sadly those days are gone. Marriage is an absolutely dangerous proposition for men today where there are very few benefits & oh so many drawbacks. Not to mention the fact that the feminist poison has basically ruined women & will take generations to correct if it is at all possible to do.
The only option that personally appeals to me in today's climate is being a single father by choice however the process to become one is very expensive in some cases running into the low 6 figures & I don't have that kind of cash. So neither is in the cards for me, not that it's entirely a bad thing. My particular branch of the family tree is rather rotten & deserves to die TBH
The only option that personally appeals to me in today's climate is being a single father by choice however the process to become one is very expensive in some cases running into the low 6 figures & I don't have that kind of cash. So neither is in the cards for me, not that it's entirely a bad thing. My particular branch of the family tree is rather rotten & deserves to die TBH
Flint said:
That's something I agree with, you got a point there.
Feminism is also a terrible poison for girls and has ruined the whole thing. I believe the world is going in the wrong direction on many points: smartphone generation, 16 y.o. single moms, etc. and that's one reason why I have a girlfriend who's not from the West. I believe "Americanization" of the girls from conservative countries is a bad phenomenon: I do not endorse conservative culture, but when girls start to want to be American everywhere, it's bad news.
So if I get a nice, non-Western girl, then I might consider Yes.
Vitriol
Pelican
Orion said:
That's exactly the problem with this kind of exercise. How many men are realistically going to meet some 18 year old unicorn who obeys their every command and remains faithful for 40 years in today's world? There's a snowball's chance in hell of that happening which is why it amazes me that this issue comes up so much.
I'd most likely follow the Danish way which I find rather ideal, by focusing hard on your career and studies in your twenties and thirties,while also having some girlfriends every once in a while and having as many close friends and circles as possible then getting to know the one and eventually making a family, marriage could be ultimately a choice but not necessarily.
Not in the next 10-20 years.
Who knows afterwards?
Who knows afterwards?
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