I do not like my wife in certain "sexy" outfits because I look at porn. For the record, I have never been a porn consumer. But my wife's body belongs to me, and I often find it more attractive in certain outfits than naked.
Well of course you find "sexy outfits" more attractive than her plain old naked body. Those outfits were designed for whoring and stripping. They were designed to make the whore and the stripper more appealing to the average man than the chaste woman. Their normalization by degenerate society and the fact that they can now be seen on display anywhere and everywhere, does not change this.
I'm guessing you did not go through your pre-marriage life ONLY EVER SEEING modestly dressed women, and then after you married, out of the blue, decide you wanted your wife to wear such-and-such "sexy outfit"
that you had never seen before.
Movies. Television. Advertisements. Store displays. Whorish women dressed immodestly in public. You do not have to be a "porn consumer," in the narrowest sense, to have had your lust/arousal piqued in such a way as to influence your preferences.
do you think your husband looks good in a suit? Have you ever asked him to dress nice on a date - nicer than usual?
My own preferences aside for the sake of the argument (because I love to look at my husband's body, makes me all kinds of
, and the imposition of any contrived aesthetic over his masculine form has no appeal to me), this is apples and oranges. Suits are modest public attire. There is nothing at all inappropriate about a woman having been exposed to countless men wearing suits over the course of her life. You were not talking about preferences for attire that falls within the acceptable parameters of public wear. The corollary to this would be requesting that your wife wear a nicer-than-usual but modest dress.
You were talking about things that women should not be wearing in public.
A woman can develop a preference for men wearing suits from having grown up around her father, uncles, brothers, and every man in her church wearing one.
A man does not develop a preference for, say, "sexy schoolgirl outfits," (to cite one of the most common examples I've noted) because it is normal to see his mother, aunts, sisters, and women at church wearing plaid micro-mini skirts that show the bottoms of their buttcheeks and white tie-front blouses that show all of their cleavage and midriff.
Now, perhaps I AM way off-base and you're the kind of guy who thinks women should only wear ankle-length skirts and dresses in public, and it really gets you going when your wife wears anything shorter. But it certainly SOUNDS like you have bought into
hyper-sexualized aesthetics that were marketed to you by the forces of cultural subversion.
The implication seems to be that this "sexy" aesthetic goes above and beyond anything made for practical wear. "Plain" undergarments made to be worn under clothing do not offer the "extra" appeal of the extremely scanty "outfits" that were designed to package women as a sexual commodity. Simply
undressing is "not enough."
How did you know you wanted to see your wife in certain specific "sexy outfits" that are not appropriate for public wear,
unless you had seen them before?
Or if SHE is the one who introduced those "sexy outfits" to you - how did SHE come up with them, if not through exposure to and normalization of indecent/hyper-sexualized imagery?
Why does this bother you? What is my sin?
I never said it was a sin, and I am not qualified to make such assertions.
(Although it is interesting that you jumped right into defending yourself against an assertion I never made, might want to think about why that is.)
I am bothered by the notion that women "should" dress like whores and strippers in the bedroom to "measure up" to the standard of visual sexual stimulation established by
pornified culture and marketing that has jaded/desensitized their husbands.
I do not think you understand attraction from a man's point of view. Do you walk around naked for your husband all day because that's "normal" and "God-given"? Why would you hide your "beauty" from him? What did you wear for him before you were married? Why?
This is silly. It would not be appropriate at all for me to walk around naked all day, because we have children and other family members in our home. I do not "hide" anything from him; he can undress me to whatever degree he likes so long as we are assuredly alone together. My wardrobe now is exactly the same as it was when we met, excepting the pieces that have worn out and been replaced with similar things. None of it is "sexy." I wear clothes and undergarments that are modest and practical and comfortable - made from fabrics that I find beautiful to look at and pleasing to touch.
My husband is older and did not come of age at a time or in a culture where it was normalized to see women everywhere dressed like sluts. In the seven years we've been together, there has been no indication whatsoever that he would prefer to have me
change into something else to wear in the bedroom, rather than simply enjoying the process of the
undressing.
I certainly don't speak from ignorance. I have dipped my toes in the pool of degeneracy and sexual liberation (and "sexy outfits"), because while I was quite young and naive and still with my first husband, I bought into the notion that because he was my husband and I belonged to him, everything he wanted must be okay. I started learning to pole dance for him. I let him lead me into an open marriage. I have enough experience with these things, and with men of different generations, to have observed that the preference for "sexy outfits" comes from immersion in pornified culture. As a rule, older men were interested in my actual body. Men closer to my own age were interested in
particular aesthetics (schoolgirl, dominatrix, playboy bunny, goth girl, cheerleader, nightclub dress girl, etc.) which could easily be traced to their exposure to specific trends in sexualized/pornified advertising and media.
I understand why you are so defensive about this issue. But I stand by everything I said.
