Your wife or your newborn?

Your wife or your son?

  • Wife

    Votes: 9 52.9%
  • Son

    Votes: 8 47.1%

  • Total voters
    17
  • Poll closed .

lunchmoney

Woodpecker
I heard this scenario/question last week.
If your wife was in labor with your first son, and the doctor comes to you and says there are complications in the delivery, and only they can only save one life, which one would you want them to save?
 

jarlo

Woodpecker
Thankfully, it looks like this decision is almost never required today among normal-weight people in Western countries:
About 700 women die each year in the United States from complications during or after pregnancy. Black and American Indian/Alaska Native women in this country are about 3 times as likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white women.
The risk of pregnancy-related death also increases with age. In the United States, women age 35 to 39 are about two times as likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than women age 20 to 24. The risk for women who are 40 and older is even higher.
It is nevertheless a brutal question which requires complicated moral thinking. I would say that your wife should ultimately decide. In this case, it truly is "her body, her choice", as abortionists will falsely say about every pregnancy.

As to which I'd want my wife to decide - I don't know. Probably for herself, but I haven't been in that situation.
 
If you don’t have already a wife, chances are that you’d choose to save your son. One is your flesh and blood and the other is some hypothetical woman that you may not even know...that choice is a no brainer.

Being a man with a wife and children, I’d have to save my wife. My wife relies on me for her (& my children’s) survival and it’s my duty to make decisions that are in our best interests. It would definitely be a gut-wrenching decision that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Plus, I’m not equipped to raise a newborn by myself....and even if I were, I still wouldn’t want to do it.
 

MajorStyles

Pelican
The order of the family should, ideally, be as follows:

1.) God
2.) Husband
3.) Wife
4.) Children
5.) Pets

Re-arranging this order has been a detriment to Western society. Therefore, the wife should be saved before the child. Remember that in previous times, many children died young. But, as cold as it may seem, they were often replaced with new children.
 

Leafcutter

Chicken
During the required pre-marriage counseling with our priest, he highlighted that the purpose of a Christian marriage is for the husband and wife to help each other attain salvation, and children come second. That was a novel idea for me, as I was raised to believe that children always come first.
 

surfdog

Sparrow
I almost had to live this scenario in real life back in 2010. My wife delivered our son and began hemorrhaging out after they removed the placenta. They rushed her to the OR while they wrapped up my son in a blanket and handed him to me. I was with my son for 2 hours before they came in and gave me an update on her health. She had to get 2 units of blood after they stopped the bleeding. She has told me many times that she would be ok with dying as long as our son made it alive. It is the parent's responsibility to sacrifice everything for the next generation. We have already had our time here.

BTW, if anyone every wants to have a weird "at home" birth try to talk them out of it. Much safer to deliver in hospital in case you bleed out.
 

Handsome Creepy Eel

Owl
Gold Member
100% my wife. She has been with me for longer than the newborn, who is the latest addition to our family, and I explicitly took an oath to care for her.

Some other reasons:
Not only can you try for more kids in the future, but also I wouldn't wish my child to go through life knowing that he cost his mom her life. That would likely produce a fucked up relationship similar to Tywin and Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones.
 

rainy

Kingfisher
My wife without question.

Not the same but she did have a miscarriage with our first. A little over three years later we have healthy, energetic, bouncing off the walls 2.5 yr old son and a beautiful 6 month old daughter.

So we still have created a lovely young family within a two parent household.

Choose the son and you not only lost the partner you vowed to go thru life with but you're also suddenly in a situation where he'll never know his mother, you have to figure out how to work and care for him, he potentially is never raised in a two parent household and doesn't receive the nurture and attention a young child needs.

Save your wife and your future children get the benefit of two loving parents. Lose your wife and your child's future immediately suffers.
 

Jones

Woodpecker
I just lost my son last week.

Stillborn at almost 36 weeks.

The sight my dead child's body will never leave me.

That being said, I would rather this loss than losing his mother.

The baby's spirit will at the very least be in Limbo.

You can always try for more children.

A mother's love cannot be replaced.
 

Thomas More

Hummingbird
I just lost my son last week.

Stillborn at almost 36 weeks.

The sight my dead child's body will never leave me.

That being said, I would rather this loss than losing his mother.

The baby's spirit will at the very least be in Limbo.

You can always try for more children.

A mother's love cannot be replaced.
Jones, I'm sorry for your loss. This is a terrible thing to experience. I pray God's comfort for you and your family.
 

Jones

Woodpecker
Jones, I'm sorry for your loss. This is a terrible thing to experience. I pray God's comfort for you and your family.
Thank you Thomas. It is, but I think this experience will bring us closer to God than before.

We now suspect it was closer to 39 weeks, due to a small amount of blood confusing the exact date early on in the pregnancy. Everything seemed a bit off: For example, the original due date put her at having a 13 lb baby.

I asked her this question, and initially she chose to save the child, before changing her mind and agreeing that saving herself would be better.

If you lose a child, you can try again. We have everything we need for the baby, and God willing we will have a newborn before the year is over.
 

DeFide

Robin
I would choose my wife over the infant. Anyway, I’m reading this thread and right next to me is a book I’m reading with an unusual little pamphlet I’ve been sing as a bookmark. I’ve had this little pamphlet for years, I don’t remember exactly where it came from but I’ve always had either had it tucked inside a Bible or Missal or in my bedside drawer for 10-15 years and never gave it much thought. Now it seems strangely appropriate for the subject of this thread so I’m posting it here:
5AAF705D-0A51-458F-8DA3-E066CEDBF932.jpeg

B087EBA1-6E22-4B5A-AD6D-10F10578F17E.jpeg
6F0CD581-E1DB-4C3E-9C11-6D0520C1EA1B.jpeg
D0429609-7ED8-4B63-ACDF-71026A44978F.jpeg
 
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